Early start = brighter kids?

I'm in a dilemma.


My 5 year old daughter atttends ESF and only goes for art classes every Saturday because she loves it AND because it is the only time I get to do my own shopping without her tagging along.


The problem is I feel pressured because I seem to be the only mother who has not enrolled her in many extra-curricular activities. All her friends seem to be excelling in Maths, reading and writing, ballet, piano, mandarin, swimming, tennis etc. I try to ignore it but I feel guilty knowing that they are all probably miles ahead of her.


So my question is, if they start all these drilling so early in life, does that mean that they will be more intelligent?


I get pressured by my inlaws as well saying that we should be teaching her this and that.... my problem is, I work, I don't have a helper and I don't have a lot of time. I probably only spend like 15 minutes a day reading to her or teaching her "academic stuff" but the rest of the time, we're just playing or she helps me with the household chores like folding the clothes, washing the vegies etc.


I meet with more disapprovals because children in local kindergartens get daily homework since K1 and my daughter isn't getting any from ESF at P1.


Anybody else feeling pressured?

This is certainly a cultural thing. Generalizing here: In many "Eastern" cultures such as India, China and Japan, studying hard is thought of as very important. Any other goals are often seen as inferior. In the West, other, softer "values" such as physical activity (for fitness, not for art), as well as other parts of the personality, are given more weight.


"if they start all these drilling so early in life, does that mean that they will be more intelligent?"


I seriously doubt it. The adult stemming from the child may, however, become better at studying and working hard. Or she may completely rebel.


Intelligence is a fickle and weird thing. Studying en masse does not, per se, confer intelligence. Critical thinking, however, probably does. What I mean is that doing things by rote and memorizing facts makes kids good at doing things by rote and memorizing facts. It does not make the more intelligent, i.e. able to draw correct conclusions from data.


In my opinion one issue stems from the Chinese writing system. In the West, we learn our 25-30 symbols and we're done. In China you have to learn thousands of symbols. Given the sheer volume, it's hard to do that in any way but rote learning and repetition. This, perhaps, leads to a certain academic rigidity. As I hear it critical thinking is not big in the Chinese education system.


One example. Einstein was a poor student. He did, however, have a fabulous analytical mind. Would excelling at school have helped him in future life? I don't think so. His intelligence came from being able to think critically, formulate hypotheses and draw conclusions from data.


As I see it, there are learning opportunities everywhere. Example: a cloud or a kite or a football can turn into a little talk on physics. Doesn't have to be boring. Measuring in the kitchen can be about math. My oldest, at 4, certainly can do simple addition. We haven't pushed it, just gently introduced the concept in an environment she likes, the kitchen. She used to just ignore the question, or not be able to answer, but every now and then she took an interest. And so she progressed at her pace without pressure. The ability to connect abstract concepts with the real world, and thus draw conclusions about the real world, is part of intelligence. And so we learn, with no need for tutors or drilling. I'm certainly not saying schools are not necessary, just that children can learn everywhere and have fun doing it.



About scheduling lots of activities: Personally I don't think this leads to well rounded personalities. As my friend says: "Children have to learn to be bored." Otherwise how will they figure out creative ways to pass the time. Full schedules are the death of creativity. I even get annoyed at helpers who hover at toddlers' shoulders. Give them some space and let them figure things out on their own. They will surprise you with their resourcefulness.



Bottom line: It's your kid. You should decide what you want for her and what you think is best for her. Think hard and (very important) don't be afraid to change your choices in the future if you get new data. If someone else watns to put the pressure on, just ignore them. If you can't do that, tell them that it's your kid and your responsibility. You're open to suggestions but such must be accompanied by a valid reason (valid to YOU) or you won't consider it.

My son is 2.8 years old. started this September he is left alone because ALL his friends are in nursery, if i ever met one who is not, he is being sent to different playgroup, few times a week so that he will not 'left-out'. I am glad that i keep him at home with me to go disneyland, hop on trains to diffrent parts of HK, go on buses and boats to islands, go market, run at the park, cooking, playing, washing, cleaning, eating and etc at home. he will be going back to playgroup tomorrow for once a week, 1.5 hour so that he can play different toys from what he has at home :) once a while, he has playdate with his little friends on cars and thomas and friends.


I love to spend time with him and he is not behind any of his friend that goes to 'school', in fact, in most areas, he is by far - ahead. because mommy is his best teacher at this age 'wink wink'