My mother rest in peace at 4-1-2010

I feel for you...

If you have shown affection & care for her during her lifetime, it is good enough.


I would like to know was there any signs before the attack? Was she at home or in the hospital and how old was she? Share with us only if you want to.


Take care!

No, I am not from any organization but just wanted to comfort you after reading what you have written as I felt your pain and frustration.


I am sure your mother knows that you love her - all mothers do - we all regret for not doing more when we have the chance but don't punish yourself as I am sure your mother does not want to see you suffer because of your unkindly thoughts on yourself. Lead a good life is how you can please her.

paintmyapple..

i am very sorry for your loss and i can understand how you feel.

i still have my mom.. far away but lost my husband.. just one year ago.. on january 5. and he was just 38..

unfortunately i couldn't be of much help.. as I haven't overcome this myself.. obviously nothing and noone could ever replace this person gone forever.. and some people say that only time can heal or attenuate this pain.

can you look around whether there is support group for your to join?

unfortunately, I wasn't able to find any for myself (but not in HK) and only find a group on the net.. which is still better than nothing.

do you have anyone you can talk to about this?

take care

Hi Paintmyapple,


My father passed in a similar way. He was taking warfarin to thin his blood after heart surgery in the 1980s and maybe due to the wrong medication from the doctor for flu, it made his blood too thin and he died suddenly while having dinner with my mum. He just reached across and asked for more rice, then suddenly held his head in his hands and was gone.


You make your grief all the more hard on yourself by thinking about negative things that you can't change. It's true that time heals wounds and later, it will be easier for you to think about your mother. In the early days, try to think about good moments that you had with your mother.


I'm sure that at her passing, she will be thinking positive things about you, her son, and her time with you while you were growing up as a little boy. Parents always treasure their children and they're wise enough to know that it's not reciprocated in the same way, until perhaps their children have children themselves. Everyone is the same like this!


And there's another positive to come out of this. You say you want to change parts of your behaviour for the better. I'm sure your mother is still around you and is smiling at this!