Posted by
lemon999
16 yrs ago
I have an active 13month old & am looking for activities other than going to the playroom/park/walks/Disney.
She takes a short nap in the morning & a long one after lunch so something in the afternoon would be best. We live in Tuen Mun so trekking to the Island is not a great option for us on a regular basis, but if you know of a great music class for this age group that'd be great!
Has anybody been to the Noah's Ark near the Tsing Ma bridge, is it worth the $100 entrance fee?
Any oth1er ideas greatly appreciated!
Thanks
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Personally, I think you're being over-ambitious. 13 month olds are perfectly happy playing on the floor with blocks, cars and dolls all day, or sitting on the beach in the sand. I'm not saying you shouldn't go to theme parks, but most of what is on offer will be wasted on children under 2 years or so. Same with a music class. Sure, she might think it is fun, but she'll have just as much fun dancing along to the stereo at home.
Rant on parenting follows:
You also run the risk of making your child expect stimulation if you keep doing stuff all the time. As my friend likes to say: "Kids have to learn to be bored. That way they learn to use their imaginations." Leave her alone to play with her toys. You'll be amazed how
much she can entertain herself.
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Thanks for your reply!
She is doing exactly that playing by herself with her toys or with me , I'm a 1st time Mum & I was worrying that I wasn't giving her enough stimulation, will keep on doing what i'm doing & save the $$s from taking her to a class!
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Totally agree. But it is not always easy as a mum. I remember when I had DD1 at home alone I didnt have a clue how to entertain her at home. I was alwasy distracted by house work. I presume you have a cleaner or help? THat will take that disctraction away. I suggest getting your self down to buy a heap of tactile play things. Boxes, scarves, ribbons, make shakers etc. Play with these to music.
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One thing we did when they were smaller was fix up a "safe zone" in the house. The living room and the kitchen were all child proofed (cabinets and bookshelves fixed to walls, cables tucked away, drawers with knives and scissors child-proofed, etc). The perimeter of the zone was secured with gates.
That way we and/or our helper could do housework without worrying that the little ones would be in danger. Of course, we did still peek quite often, but we felt safe even if we didn't see them for a few minutes.
Doing housework is a good thing. Children need to learn (slowly and gently) that they cannot always be the center of your Universe. Well, they always will be but I mean that it is good to slowly cut the metaphorical umbilical so that they learn to be more independent.
Parenting rant continues below:
There is a lot of social pressure nowadays because of those moms (we all know them) who have a mega-packed schedule for kids from a very young age. Their little ones are at ballet, soc-a-tots, playdates, playrooms, Ocean Park and so on every single day. The rest of us sometimes feel that we should also "make more of an effort".
My opinion is that these kids are being done a disservice. They tend to become over-stimulated and as the day wears by over-tired, which leads to whiny kids and exasperated parents. They also can't seem to play calmly by themselves, and they often have an inability to focus except on things like computer games, which provide the constant stimulation they increasingly crave.
You don't have to be one of those moms. Your children will be happy as long as they know you are there. If you "listen" to them instead of pushing them into tons of activities, their childhood will be a happier time for both parents and children.
Yes, I do have strong opinions on this subject! :)
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Axpat guy - children do not become spoiled brats with stimulation and attention from their mothers. IT is quite the opposite. THe idea of giving the child time to play while you clean is totally relevant and I am sure all mothers know this. CHidlren will need to be left alone to play sometimes. But I think your comment about spoiled brats is slightly misleading to mothers and gives the wrong message about giving your child attention. Maybe it was tongue in cheek?
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Thanks for pointing that out. I'll correct it.
Sorry I was being unclear. Of course mothers (and all parents) should lavish the children with attention. However attention means being with your kids. It does not mean taking your child to a lot of activities. As I mention, it is more important to be attentive to the kids than to push them into a lot of activities. That being said, a nice family outing is a great thing. "Everything in moderation."
We're the most "boring" family I know when it comes to this stuff. Very few things are allowed to interfere with our kids' schedule. :)
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Thanks. I agree with you. I teach 4 year olds whose days are filled with classes, tutoring, etc etc. Hong Kong culture seems to promote success in your career over bonding as a family. I am fighting this mindset with all of my being. I refuse to stay at work past the time it ends - and rush home to be with family. I refuse to leave my kids with a hired helper, instead 'hiring' my mother in law to care for baby. Yes, a schedule is like vital!
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Yeah there are sadly a lot of kids like that here. We started noticing that one boy's mother wanted playdates with our girls so her son could improve his English! We didn't mind the playdates, but the motivation was a bit sad.
I'll disagree on the helper thing. Our helper is a fantastic influence on our kids. It depends on the helper but it also depends on what you let your helper "be" in the household. Our helper is definitely the "third parent".
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Z
16 yrs ago
In my experience, young children very much prefer to have the same old the same old the same old schedule every day with maybe a mild change every so often, probably because it lets them feel in control of their world if they know what is next on the schedule.
From my own childhood: my father has a standard answer to the question "Daddy, what can I DOOOOOO?"
"Mildew" he replies.
Until I was about 10, I didn't know what mildew was [we were a very limited TV household, so I missed all of the standard bathroom cleaner commercials], and so I thought that he was suggesting that we run around the living room windmilling our arms about....
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Z
16 yrs ago
Yeah, this is also the guy who told me that smart children don't get bored because they have such wonderful imaginations to keep them entertained. Fortunately, our house was filled with books...
Now, of course, Grandpa is very different. My mother is an elementary school teacher, and their house is filled with buckets of small widgets for kids to use to practice counting [dominoes, people, cars, shapes, etc]. The last time we visited, our then almost 3yo would run around the house dumping the buckets on the floor and calling "Grandpa! Come clean up my mess!" He would, then she would sneak off to dump another bucket, and they would laugh like two loons.
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THat is the thing - having fun doesnt take much at all with little ones. IN my classroom, the 4 year olds favourite game to choose from the shelves is a tin of 'stuff'. It includes buttons, gum nuts from trees (aussie), pretend jewells, pom poms and miniature corks. They LOVE it! I introduced it to them with some interesting spoons and chopsticks and tongs. I also gave them a variety of baskets and bowls. THey spend up to an hour sorting, 'cooking', spilling and pretending it is treasure etc etc.
I think your play as a kid Z brings up an interesting point. SO many parents and schools dont like mess. They are really imposing a major block on normal development if they stick to this. But if you teach children to help you clean up from an early age and make that space in the house where they can make a mess, they will love you for it!
Next month there is a talk i will be goign to from some professor. IT is on a topic that means a lot to me. Are 'educational' toys really that beneficial to young children. I say no - fisher price et al are making a lot of money making parents think their child MUST have this latest toy (or go to this latest class for that matter) to become as smart as they can be. BULLS**T!
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"My mother is an elementary school teacher, and their house is filled with buckets of small widgets for kids to use to practice counting [dominoes, people, cars, shapes, etc]."
That's very Montessori of her. Both my kids are in Montessori pre-school. I love the way they are "suckered into" learning with this method. They think they're just playing. :) Well, they are playing but learning from play is best as cara says.
Another nice thing with Montessori is that there IS mess, and it is accepted as part of the pricess, but the children also tidy up. Also they cannot start a new activity without putting the new one away. As OAshanghai says not allowing kids to make a mess slows their development.
"Educational" toys: Agreed. I don't know whether to laugh or cry when I see a ball in the store with a neat little "educational benefits" blurb on the packaging. "Encourages: Motor skills." Give me a break. It's a ball. The kids is having fun. Good enough for me! "Educational" videos and toys are, as OAshanghai says, a good way to make parents feel like they must give their kids the latest toy just to stay ahead.
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It's been very interesting to read all you replies. As my predicament, no, I don't have a helper or cleaner, hubbie works long hours, so it's often just me & my daughter for most of the day, maybe I should re-post the question:
"How to keep Mum (& 13month old) occupied?"
Doing the same thing day in day out can be quite frustrating!
For us, things have to be planned in advance, I can't just leave her with the helper while I pop out for errands or a coffee!!
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"How to keep Mum (& 13month old) occupied?"
:)
I have found that some people can play with a toddler all day, every day. Other people (like me) find playing with a toddler fun for about 5 minutes. Then, as my wife keenly observes, I get the thousand mile stare.
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Ha Ha!
I'm def not an 'all day player', I have to cook/clean/hoover all around her, which I might add, is quite a good excuse not to be sitting & constantly playing/entertaining.
Oh well, guess life continues as normal then, play, eat, play, sleep, play, eat, play, sleep, whinge, play, eat, moan, play BED lol
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ahhhhh Yes,but when you give open ended play to a kid it is much more fun. For all involved that is! It is so much more interesting to see what you can both discover. what are you playing that makes it not fun? Maybe there is more to play if you just know how to find it.
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