undergoing ivf and husband says I'm too emotional

so I feel humbled and humiliated that I am undergoing ivf for the first time. Husband just snaps at me saying I am being hormonal and over emotional which is absolutely NOT true because male colleague I work with all day says I am actually the opposite and very calm.

anyway, why would i want to get myself stressed and jeopardize everything!!!!

Am being accused of wanting to argue etc..etc..

Am in my own home walking on egg shells and fear of speaking!


It is hard enough doing ivf but for him to trivilize what I am going through is worse than being poked and prodded all the time.

Take time out to relax at your leisure. Placing plants on your work desk might help.

My hubbie and I went through IVF and I found the same situation as you. My husband made me feel so small and was snapping at me too. Looking back, (hubbie admits to this now) he was just as stressed and apprehensive in the situation as anyone else and just didn't realise he was like that. I also got the blame for anything and everything. I was like you, where I was opposite than I expected by being quite calm and relaxed. So much is geared towards us women as we are the ones being poked and prodded, and it is a time we need a lot of support. But so do the men. Unfortunately most men just don't know how to deal with their own emotions, and they really don't realise how one silly comment can make us feel. I wish you the best of luck. And just in case your wondering, he went back to being a wonderful husband, and now a wonderful father.

You are emotional and full of hormon. What you need to do is to tell your husband exactly that and ask him to be supportive and understanding. I have done IVF four times and broke down after every failure. The time when I found out that my IVFs were giving me nothing, my emotional state was even worse.

I always warned my husband that I would be "someone else" during those process. I could have a mood swing any time of the day. He was shock at first but he adjusted well, knowing that he would get his loving wife back in time. And since these IVFs are OUR decision, he took my emotion as something that he had to face calmly - his part of the deal.


We have two kids now from the fourth IVF and absolutely happy. If it is difficult to talk to your husband, just ask him to read this forum.