Has anyone out there tried to split their family (Mom and kids go to Singapore & Dad works in HK on the weekdays) to reduce the health impacts of HK's bad air on most of the family? If so, I'd love to know how it's working. We have 1 kid under 5 (but in school) who is constantly coughing in HK (but stops when we take trips away). As parents we are so conflicted on what to do. Any realistic ideas? Fearful of losing the marriage in all this too - long-distance is not the preferred choice by any means. Thanks.
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Strong families can definitely survive. I know several people including myself who have spent months and years working away from home every single week. Every weekend or almost is not really that bad. Heck, lots of HK dads don't see their kids except on weekends and Singapore isn't the other side of the planet exactly.
I would, however, start with having a good look at the kid before you make the decision. Even if it changes when you go away, it doesn't have to be caused by pollution. More likely it is an allergy or reactive airways disease. For example there could be mold in the apartment that he/she is reacting to. Start by taking him/her to an allergist and have him tested (takes 15 minutes and is non-invasive). I recommend Dr. Wu. 2818 0180.
Our daughter had the same problem your kid has. Constant coughing. Turns out that she has reactive airways disease. The mildest infection of the airways (as kids get all the time) would make her cough for weeks. It has almost totally cleared up with occasional medicine. Our GP told us that if you don't treat the disease it can lead to developmental problems with the lungs. On the bright side it tends to disappear as kids get older.
Now, I'm not saying HK air is fresh and sparkly, just that kids get lots of other respiratory stuff, and all over the world. In Sweden, where the air is mostly fresh as can be, there are tons of kids with allergies for example.
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personally i couldn't do it. my wife and baby girl are in Beijing at the moment for the past two weeks, and it rips my heart out to hear my daughter begging me to come (and bring her favorite book of course lol) every night when i call. thankfully i'll be joining them next week, but it has been hard to say the least
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There's also the whole road warrior mentality. Having been a road warrior myself for a few years, I know many (most?) people just can't do it. It sounds all well and good for a while but it is tough.
"I've lived in a lot of places, and a child with a persistant cough is not a common occurence..........except here."
Kids with respiratory problems exist all over. Granted, in HK it is probably more common due to pollution. I would love to see some real statistics. Also, many people with asthma do better in HK due to the high humidity.
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hey. i think no matter how often you visit, a family that is split up is still quite dysfunctional. see if you can find another arrangement, perhaps move your career to somewhere else for the kids, tt might be better.
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I don't agree that a split family has to be dysfunctional. Look at all the helpers in HK! Most of the married ones have perfectly fine relationships, even at a distance.
If there is real love and a desire to be with each other, it will work. Conversely there are plenty of relationships that don't work even if both parties are in the same home.
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What a very difficult choice to make and one that only you can decide on. For many it would work and for others not. What I would say is that the air here is filthy and it is not suitable for any adult let alone child. The fact that your child is constantly coughing and is fine away from HK is a story that I hear VERY often. The cause is most likely the air. Anyone who tries to justify the bad air in HK is kidding themselves or trying to justify to themselves that it is ok to bring up children here. I recently met a dog owner whose dog has a terminal lung illness and the vet put it down to the pollution here. The Vet also mentioned that it was something that he sees all too often. The long term effect on children by breathing in such filthy air is unknown, so very sad as Hong Kong has so much to offer. Good luck with what ever path you choose.
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"The fact that your child is constantly coughing and is fine away from HK is a story that I hear VERY often. The cause is most likely the air."
I'm not saying the air is good in HK but it could easily be something like mold in the apartment. With the high humidity mold is very common here.
Better to determine what exactly is going on instead of making a big decision based on speculation.
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STK
16 yrs ago
Could you try moving some where else in HK? Not sure where you live now but maybe Sai Kung Country Park, Southside or one of the islands that doesnt allow cars? I moved from central to Clearwater Bay and Im certainly not saying the air is perfect but it is much improved out in the countryside which may help your child?
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I'm not in denial. I have no doubt the air is bad. What I am saying is that if mold is the problem then that's an easier fix than moving to Singapore while daddy stays in HK.
If they still want to move because of the air, that's another thing. At least they know what the problem was in this case.
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I live Southside and believe me the air is just as bad. axpatguy38 I don't think that many people allow mould to grow in their apartments with aircon and dehumids there is really no excuse for mould. I agree with madtown, I think you are in denial as making excuses may help you to justify the long term damage that this filthy air is doing to peoples heatlh but at he end of the day the OP has a very valid concern as the air here is disgusting for a good amount of the year.
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Maybe I wasn't clear.
What I said was: Find out what the problem is before making a decision. It could be pollution. It could be mold. It could be a congenital problem. It could be allergies. It could be reactive airways disease. Isn't it better to find out what the deal is?
I did NOT say HK air is not a problem. It is. I just said this might not be the cause of this specific cough. Kids get coughs in other places too, even places with pristine air.
Now, could we please drop the "axptguy38 is in denial" bit? It is not relevant to this discussion.
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At the end of the day the BAD air does not help so even if there was an alternative cause the child is better off in an enviroment with clean air. Of course children in other places get coughs too, however, I doubt the damage will be as huge on their small lungs if they are in a country with clean air. The long term effects are still not known and just thinking about it makes me shudder.
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I am not saying the pollution doesn't have bad effects, in short and long term. I am saying that if it were my child I would prefer to know exactly what was going on medically instead of guessing. I could then make an informed decision. And of course long-term pollution effects would be a factor in the decision.
Say that Daddy has another two years on his contract in HK. If it turns out that the cough is not direcly related to pollution, they might decide to stay those two years and accept the pollution for that period. If it IS directly related to pollution, they might decide to leave. Mold, allergies and so forth are relevant because they might affect the health of the child.
Choosing to stay or go is not all about pollution for everyone. For most people, it is but one factor in the decision. Now you may think we are misguided. You may even be right about that. But it doesn't change that fact.
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Again. You don't have to convince me. I know there is pollution here. Let it go.
"I am going to assume that if the op took the time to create a thread on this board regarding his indecision, he is the kind of guy who takes his coughing kid to the doctor."
I hope so. But I have seen plenty of people who don't bother to get to the bottom of the issue.
"Again, I think it is either guilt or denial, that makes you fish for alternative reasons for a young child chronically coughing."
Neither guilt nor denial. My kid had a persistent cough. It is now "fixed". It was not due to pollution at all. I'd rather not make assumptions before I have reliable data.
"The mere fact that his child coughs constantly while in Hong Kong and doesn't when they leave is all that needs to be known. "
Not at all. It is certainly an important data point, but there can be other reasons, for example something in the apartment, the school, level of humidity, stress...
One of the more likely explanations is pollution, but you cannot assume that is it.
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Madtown - out of interest - do you have kids here?
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It is interesting that you have a lot to say on the health of children and yet have none of your own. I assume that, were you to have any, you'd be on a plane straight out of here for some place cleaner?
[not disputing the point about the quality of the air in HK in any way]
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