Posted by
isonoawabi
16 yrs ago
8-yr-old asked: How does a man gives his sperms to a girl to make a baby? Does he need a surgery?
That was a question my son asked. We were in a department store so I told him it would be more appropriate if I discused it with him at home. Honestly, it was delay tactics. I had no clue and still don't.
Wonder if parents can share their thoughts?
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well, how about telling him the truth? 8 year old is old enough, in my view
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I agree with cookie09. I mean he already knows what sperm is. You can simplify the explanation quite a bit, but just be honest. If you evade he'll just become more curious. If you treat it in a straightforward fashion he's less likely to dwell on it.
He'll find out the truth pretty soon anyway. Better he gets it from you.
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sometimes honesty and telling the truth is better than hiding things from them
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sometimes honesty and telling the truth is better than hiding things from them
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AKKY
16 yrs ago
I have the same kind of question from my boy but he is only 4.....he wants to know the difference between a girl and a boy and he knows is something to do with the genitals but he wants to see it.....so I delay that too......Also the little girl sitting next to him in school tells him that she has a little baby inside her stomach so my son kind of dwell on that topic for a while and ask how babies get inside stomach......I told to his teacher about this and they say is too early to teach this kind of stuff.....so is it too early at this age to learn this? don't even know how to explain without him getting the wrong ideas of things.....my parent in our generation never talk about this stuff to us .......I know these topics shouldn't be a secret or anything but I personally dont have the skills to teach them.
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Definitely not too early to know that girls and boys look different. For our kids it has never been an issue since they see us both naked in the bathroom pretty much every day. They went on about willies and "front bums" for a while and then it just became part of the scenery to them.
As for baby in the belly, at four I guess I would gloss over it. "Mommy and daddy love each other very much and that way mommy got a baby in her belly".
I agree with you that it is definitely better to talk about it than to make it some kind of taboo subject. If you talk about it matter-of-factly with your kids they won't dwell on it. If they know it is "forbidden", on the other hand...
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My daughter about age 5 asked very loudly on the star ferry - Mummy how does the baby get into your tummy? - there were some craned necks as people tried to hear how I was going to answer that one! LOL
I have tried to give age appropriate information at each question - you just guage it depending on your child and the question they are asking. And if you look embarassed or evade the question they will feel they are not getting the whole story and then they will ask friends who will give them their parents version of the evaded question ;-).
Cara - question - how do you deal with the open door bathroom and help at home - I always did that with my youngest but now it doesnt feel appropriate and I have a younger one about to come into potty training time. Just wondering how others deal with it.
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"how do you deal with the open door bathroom and help at home -"
Our helper doesn't come near the bathroom when she knows we are there, even if the door is open. I don't feel it is inappropriate to leave the door open if everyone is aware of what is going on. There's little point dancing around the issue. Your helper is a big girl.
If the kids is wandering towards the bathroom and you are in there, the helper can simply call to you to let you know.
Potty training is helped tremendously by the kid seeing adults "in action", so a closed door is not the best idea in my opinion. BTW this goes for helper too, but of course it should be completely at her discretion.
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I should note that in our place it would take quite a bit of effort for the helper to accidentally see through our bathroom entrance and the same for us seeing through her entrance. So the issue has never really come up.
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Z
16 yrs ago
Our favorite ped says that we should use this time to practice talking to the kids about sex -- let ourselves get past the embarrassment before they are teenagers.
In our house, the parents announce loudly whenever they need to have a pee; the kids then fall over each other to keep us company in the bathroom. With the doors closed. A closed door doesn't keep a kid out, though, in the event that something distracted them on the way... The helpers have learned to lock the door behind them.
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We've used Babette Coles books in our house to ease any embarassment about asking questions about puberty, sex and having babies. My kdis have had these books since they were about 3 (obviously not realising what the books are about) and my kids are so laid back and comfortable about the birds and the bees.
In our household we stress the importance of asking questions no matter how silly they are but if they are really embarassed then leave the question uncer my pillow so i find it and can talk to them about it.
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