Help! 11month old won't sleep

Hello


I really need some advice please as Im at my wit's end.


My 11 month old son was never a big sleeper but always a happy boy so he used to just have one or two short naps a day and usually went to bed after bottle at night without a problem, and also once during the night but went straight back to sleep.


But just recently, after a short illness (couging for a few days) he now refuses to go to sleep without being cuddled. No matter how hard I try he just does not give up!


Ive spoken to Dr who suggested putting him to bed, then leaving door slightly open and checking on him after 5 mins, 10 mins, 15mins, and then every 20 mins... until he falls asleep. So I go in and reassure him, lay him back down and tell him to go to sleep... but its now been almost 3hrs!! He's not screaming but grissling and literally jumping up and down at the end of his bed (working up a sweat!!) Ive checked he's ok, made sure no dirty nappy, tried putting classical music on in his room etc but nothing seems to work.


Yesterday after I tried from 12-2pm (he didnt want a morning nap so I thought Id just aim for one nap a day) - after 2 hours I finally gave up and so I thought Id forget trying to get him to nap - but he was so exhausted that when I picked him up, and lay down on the bed with him, he was literally asleep within seconds... snoring! But as soon as I moved, he's crying again.


Ive also tried staying in the room with him until he settles, and he does lay down but as soon as I make a move for the door he's jumping up and down crying/grissling again.


This is not just during the day, but also when I put him to sleep at night and once during the night - its now affecting everyone in the household (including our other 2 children) and I dont know what else to do...


Any suggestions or advice is greatly appreciated!

How did you sleep train him to begin with? I'd suggest using the same technique again now.


I have never been a fan of the "go back in every x minutes" option -- I think that it actually disturbs the kids and keeps them from falling asleep.

Thanks for your reply Z


No we've never really sleep trained him before, as it was never really an issue before.


Nap time during the day is the hardest where he just refuses to sleep unless I cuddle him the whole time!


As hard as it might be, I think I may have to try the shut-door and leave him policy - but how long do I leave him cry for.... he is very persistent - is there a time limit? Esp during the day, like yesterday I tried from 12-3 then gave up and took him for a walk. But is this "giving in" and teaching him that if he persists long enough I will eventually crack?? But then if he naps too late he wont go to sleep later so what do I do?


Should I go back to trying to get him to sleep earlier in morning and early afternoon?


Oh this is so hard :(

Why don't you try the "sleep shuffle" method?


Instead of cuddling him to sleep, sit next to him in a chair and maybe give him a teddy to cuddle instead, and try to get him to fall asleep without touching you - but you just sit next to him.


Once you get him to fall asleep like that... then you gradually move your chair further away from the bed, to outside the door etc, until eventually you're not there anymore.


I imagine this might take a long time to sleep train him though!

And to add... the advice from the Baby Whisperer book - about teaching kids to fall asleep on their own - she says that you can pick the child up when they're crying... and once they're calm and almost about to fall asleep, you put them back into bed so that they fall asleep in bed. She says you may have to do this many times until eventually they're so tired, they finally fall asleep in bed by themselves.


If you try it for the day time nap and he gets overtired and won't sleep at all, then you could just try putting him to bed early at night time, and hopefully he'll eventually be so tired that he'll just fall asleep?


Let me know how it goes. I have "sleep" problems as well, but I just don't want to do the cry it out method.

If it is mostly daytime that is the problem, you might want to try taking him out for a ride in the pram or the car at his normal naptime and letting him nap there for a couple of days [it is nearly impossible to stay awake with that kind of motion] and then switching back to his cot. Yes, you are manipulating him to sleep, but chances are that he will think that he fell asleep by himself.

Hi all - Thanks for your advice. went out today with the pram for a few hours and he slept like a baby from about 9.30-10.30am. Got home and now trying for afternoon nap but again he is just jumping up and down at the end of his bed crying. I will try the advice from Slammy and go in and sit with him but not touch him (Ive tried this before, but I did touch him and he fell asleep but he woke up as soon as I moved) - so Ill try just sitting there and read a book and see what happens....


Also, re: the Baby Whisperer advice, everytime I do give him a cuddle he does fall asleep but as soon as I reach down to put him in his cot he jolts awake and we start all over again - and it literally takes hours.


Will keep trying and see how we go...


Thanks

Hi there - for the Baby Whisperer advice, she says to cuddle them to calm them down and make them drowsy, but you're supposed to put them in bed when they're still awake - even if they are almost about to fall asleep. Of course, it will take many times because they'll start crying when you put them into the bed. But the idea is that eventually, the baby will be SO tired, that finally they'll fall asleep in bed by themselves. Yes - requires a lot of patience and time!


Let me know if you can eventually have success with the sleep shuffle method. My friend did it but her kids are older than yours. Good luck! :-)

Try calling Annerly Midwives Sleep Clinic