Posted by
kiwimmc
15 yrs ago
My 7 year old decided that she wanted to play a game on my phone the other day so she took my phone without asking, and went off to her tennis lesson with the phone in her pocket. I noticed the phone wasnt where it should be and rang it to hear kids voices so guessed it had gone with her and on return home she admitted she had the phone and she handed it back.
My husband feels the consequence of her taking something that wasnt hers without asking should be her not having a birthday party this year - her birthday is in a couple of weeks and we havent sent out invitations yet.
I feel this is a bit harsh, but cant come up with another consequence. Taking away tv for a week is not going to cut it.
What do you think?
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Yes, she took something that wasn't hers. But it wasn't really like stealing. I mean, she wouldn't take someone else's phone right? The difference is clear to you but maybe not to her.
Agreed with cara. No birthday party is far too big a punishment. It's also a bit out of the blue. I mean, why that?
How about: no playing with the phone. Makes much more sense. Add no internet and no chat if you want.
Have a good chat to her about it. Is she truly sorry? That's an important thing too. You say she admitted it when she got home. And is it the first time?
If you make the punishment too harsh and completely unrelated to the offense you risk making her insecure. What's next? Kids need to feel that they can "take a shot". Sure, this is different, but your daughter shouldn't feel that new things carry too much risk.
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I like the no more use of my phone for games for a period of time idea .. toughie is that we were going to give her an ipod for her birthday .. but maybe I will think of something else and we will save that for Xmas.
We did speak with her immediately after and told her we found it unacceptable and she did apologise.
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RA
15 yrs ago
I agree 'no birthday' is very harsh. Kids wait all year for this special day and no birthday is certainly very disheartening for them. Agree with the posts above , the objective is to make her realise what she did was wrong and let her learn from her mistake.
I am sure she may not know the severity of her mistake. At my house the ultimate punishment (after no TV, no internet etc) is no attending the next upcoming friend's birthday. If the friend's birthday is far away, then the offender gets to make up for his/her mistake . It could be by doing a chore etc. Thats up to the parent to decide.
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Z
15 yrs ago
By 7, she should have some input into what is an appropriate consequence. This can also be one way of judging if she really understands the level of the offense. For example, if she suggests something too light then you can step in but my guess is that she'll decide something too harsh and then you can agree but then lower the punishment a little [good for trust building].
But I absolutely agree that no bday celebration at all is out of proportion. My kids are still younger but birthdays are a big deal [my daughter has been dreaming about what cake she will chose for months already and she won't be 4 until the end of the month]. When I was growing up, my parents weren't big on massive parties [they had 7 kids whose birthdays were mostly clumped together] but we definitely got to eat our favorite foods for every meal and were forgiven for our sins...
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