What's fair?

There are several ways to do this. Here are three common ones:

- Both contribute the same percentage of their salary to a common pot for expenses like utilities, food and rent. The rest of the money is kept for individual use. This can work when salaries are quite different.

- Both contribute the same amount to a common pot for expenses like utilities, food and rent. The rest of the money is kept for individual use. This can work when salaries are similar.

- All money goes into a common pot. This is more usual if the relationship is very long-term, or if one party does not work at all.


What is fair? That depends on you two and how you feel. As long as you are honest and open with each other there are no problems either way.


My wife and I have been together for about fifteen years. For most of that time we have used the last option. All money is common. The important thing is that neither party abuses it by buying much more stuff for themselves than the other party. A good rule is that any "luxury" purchase over a certain amount (say, HKD1000) needs to be approved by both.

Hi ausinhk555,


I have many friends in a similar position to you. In most cases the guy pays the majority of the rent, either by splitting it in proportion to salary or by using an arbitrary figure which you can decide together. Other friends have set it up that the guy pays the rent and the girl covers all the bills, in this case though its probably a lot less than a proportional share of the rent… but again it’s for you to decide together.


I think that you should just be open with him and explain that you don’t want to make and big deal of money, but that you’re aware that there is a disparity between your salaries, and see what he feels.


Every couple has their own arrangements. Good luck in working this out…


And welcome to Hong Kong! Exciting!