Posted by
tictock81
14 yrs ago
Hi, I need your advice....
My employer wants my family to move from the US to HK for 18 months so I can run the HK Sourcing office. My wife and I would love to go, but there are 2 catches:
(1) Our 3-year old son has Cerebral Palsy and can't walk. He uses a motorized wheelchair and requires regular physical therepy appointments. He also requires a lot of time an attention from a parent or nanny.
(2) My wife has been in poor health for the last 12 months. She's gotten a bit better, but the Dr's don't know what's wrong with her. Some days she's fine, other days she's bedridden and has bowel problems and breathing difficulty.
Is it crazy to consider moving a sick wife and disabled kid away from our entire support system? We'd love to have the adventure and income, but I wonder if it would be foolhardy.
Please give as much advice as you can!
thanks,
Matt
Please support our advertisers:
Family always come first. You cannot afford unless you are 100% sure that they will be properly supported in Hong Kong. Taking care of both family & work can be hard.
Please support our advertisers:
Agree, family always comes first but that's not to say this is not do-able. I think it's great that your wife and you are still up for an adventure across the other side of the world despite the difficulties you are facing.
I think you need to write down a huge list of what needs to be done and considered and budgeted for. Domestic help is easily found in Asia (and relatively cheap) but it will take time to train them in what exactly your wife and you expect/need to be done for your son. Your wife may be lonely and find life difficult without a support network (how heavily do you rely on them right now?). The air is extremely bad here and in the summer time the heat makes it unbearable to be outside. HK is hardly a wheelchair friendly place either, everywhere is crowded and apartments are very small for what you pay for.
If your employer is willing to shell out the big bucks to help you financially (esp with your son's needs) then perhaps it is doable. That said, even with that, life will be difficult esp from the start but like i said earlier, not impossible. You just need to make sure that your family are well taken care of and not struggling. I'm sure there are families with difficulties such as yours on much less money but you have to consider the quality of life you are after.
Alternatively, why not come to HK yourself and take turns to visit every 2/3 months? I know 18 months is a long time but if this will be very beneficial to your career then this option may be worthwhile considering.
Please support our advertisers:
ltse
14 yrs ago
The fact that your asking this question means you really want to come, but just not confident how to. I think you should do it, opportunities like these don't come around very often. Don't worry too much, take the first step, have faith, and the rest will fall into place. Hong Kong is very efficient in many things, and I don't think there is anything that your family needs that isn't available over here. Just come here a month or 2 earlier to get things like housing, medical, school sorted out before you start your job.
Please support our advertisers:
Probably not crazy but you need to think about it a little bit more.
You mentioned your support group back home. You will not have this when you are in HK. It will take some time for this to grow, if ever. Your parents and friends are not here.
Your wife is not well and she will not get any better with the stresses from moving, trying to understand what is happening around her and not having anyone to fall back on while you are at work. She will be by herself for a long time while you make new friends.
I am not wheelchair dependent nor do I have any impediment but just walking and looking around the streets, I think HK must be incredibly difficult for those who have any problems in mobility. It is just not friendly that way. Sure, some buildings are good but to me most do not have easy access.
So, are you crazy or just overwhelmed by this offer? I think the latter. I think I would not take up this offer. The excitement of the adventure will wear off quickly and your son and wife will/might/could suffer becuase of this move.
Please support our advertisers:
Hey - big decision.
Hong Kong can be both incredibly supportive and incredibly alienating to the newcomer. A lot depends on personality. The work days here are long, and there is a lot of socializing done outside of work, this can mean long hours alone to the newly arrived family while you are at work. There are many clubs and social activities that can alleviate this, but as with most things in HK they depend on your salary and perks.
As per wheelchairs - HK is a pretty unfriendly city even to a stroller. Unless you are in a modern shopping center, the shop doors are small and aisles are very narrow. There will be many, many places you simply won't be able to take a wheel chair. Saying that, there are many places you can. When we arrived, we lived in Tierra Verde. It sits on top of Maritime Square, a modern shopping center it seemed to be a bit of a draw card for families with children in wheel chairs.
Hiring a helper. You will be able to specify to an agency that you require a female/male helper with a nursing degree.
Please support our advertisers:
stay where u r , family 1st is all that i can say..i am sure ur employer must be knowing this , how can he make u this offer?
Please support our advertisers:
Hi tictock,
there is also the climate to consider here for your family, would they be able to manage the humidity and heat in summer? can be very tiring even for people who have been here a few years.
I live in Db and would say it is more wheelchair friendly than most places, and has the hire car with wheelchair lift,,plus the ferry is friendly for wheelchair users, but once you get over to Hk side, then lots of steps, elevators etc.
Local Drs for expats seem very good, and many surgeries have physio attached, if your firm provided a 'very good package' for both accomodation, health insurance,etc, and you could find a very good helper with nursing/ physio qualification (there are some about) it may well be a viable idea.
Please support our advertisers:
Matt, unfortunate for you and your family, I would agree with most of the above and say "don't do it". whilst the adventure would seem appealing, the biggest issue is your family will loose their "support group". On top of that, HK or infact most other Asian cities are not wheel chair friendly. I feel in turn a move to here would make your wife more miserable which would then affect your son and then ultimately you. An unhappy family is not healthy in normal circumstances and HK as such is not a generally healthy place to live for anyone.
Please support our advertisers:
All - Many thanks for your helpful and candid comments. I really appreciate each of you taking the time to give me feedback. I tend to share the majority opinion that I should not go, but it will not be without hoping that a better occasion arises in the future. I wish you all the best on your HK adventures....
Please support our advertisers:
Ticktock81. Before you make a final decision, consider the following. In HK, the public health care system is fantastic and you will be covered from the moment you are a resident with a HK ID card. HK is extremely unfriendly if you have a wheel chair, but that are places like Discovery Bay and Park island which are flatter and more friendly.
Please support our advertisers:
It's also quite cheap to hire a domestic helper from the Philippines (HK$5,000 per month). I'm sure many would prefer helping to look after your child than the drudgery of day-to-day domestic chores. Not sure if you are Catholic, but I think there is quite a good support network here for children with similar difficulties. The air quality has been good for a while now but it can be bad.
Please support our advertisers:
"The public health care system is fantastic"?
You have got to be joking. 3 - 4 hour average wait at an A & E just to see a doctor and then weeks (if you're lucky) to months to see a specialist. Ifyour family have health issues do not even consider coming here unless you have very good private medical insurance.
And the air quality here has been getting steadily worse over the past 10 years. That's why many expats are leaving here for Singapore and other healthier locations.
Please support our advertisers:
Hi, no your'e not crazy. I lived in Hong Kong for 7 years, and although for the first 5 years I did not use a w/c (wheelchair), I do have a disease similar to your son. The last year I was there I did use a w/c outside of our flat. I now use the w/c full time.I lived in Tung Chung, and didn't have problems there. DB is also very handy for w/c's. I did often get help with a door or anything, although I did find some of the locals were not helpful. My husband's work had a good medical plan and we had private (not public) medical and it was Fantastic. So much better than Canada. I have been away from HK for a year now and we are considering moving back to HK. My wheelchair bound brother visited me in HK and we managed fine, there are some obstacles we found, but overall managed. I would'nt say it is imposible, you have to go with a positive mind and think of the adventure your family could have. It sounds like you are interested, just unsure how it would be for your family.
I would dicuss with you employer what type of medical coverage you would have there, and explain your concern with them about your wife and son's health concerns.
Domestic Helpers/Nannies are so inexpensive there and help out ALOT. They will clean your flat, do laundry, cook if you wish. and really are helpful.
Please support our advertisers:
You must be logged in to be able to reply.
Login now
Copy Link
Facebook
Gmail
Mail