Moving to Hong Kong? A big decision...

My husband has been relocated to Hong Kong this past week. I am expected to follow suit at the end of the year so I am left to deal with the household alone. My marriage is already on shaky ground. We've done 4 sessions of couples counselling to work on it but that has come to a screeching halt because of the company move. Prior to even conversations about a company move, I discovered my husband engaging in online infidelity and making appointments with escorts. At that point, I decided not to leave him and try to save my marriage and work towards forgiving and moving on. But now that the counselling has stopped and the company has relocated him, I am seriously rethinking this.

From my research and reading on expatriate marriages, such moves crack even the smallest problems wide open. I love him but I also know that loving someone doesn't save a marriage. While am excited about the transformative experience that can come with living abroad, I am not naive about the struggles that come with it. I know it will be fraught with loneliness, an issue that I have been continually dealing with in my marriage from the start.

Though I wasn't considered let alone included in the conversations about the relocation, I know I still have options. One I am seriously considering at the moment is leaving and going back home to my family. As I said, I love him but I am wondering if losing my sense of self, experiencing anxiety over trust issues are worth the upheaval. Is it worth uprooting and having to start all over again from scratch in an environment where I will not know anyone and won't receive any support from the company.

Has anyone here experienced a rocky marriage when a move like this came? How did/are you coping with it? I guess what I am feeling at the moment is whether I want to be corporate collateral damage and continue to play second fiddle to my husband's career while sense of self worth and wellbeing gets battered for the possibility that it might go public.

Hi

I have gone through the same thing. exactly the same situation and problem. We are both 34. I am glad I am not alone as you feel so crappy that this is happening to you and you have no idea what to do.
I am in HK now and we are working through our problems. Its not easy but its something I am not going to give up on easily.
Would be nice to chat more especially if you are considering coming to HK soon.
Leave your number or email and I will get back to you.
Hope to hear from you soon
Jo

There lots of opinions out there and mine is only one.
I think you should know that for a guy to find a girlfriend is easier than ever in HK. Secondly there are 1000's of girls willing to go home with a guy from a bar for about 2k HKD. On Sunday there are girls that will go home with a guy just in hope of a boyfriend.

If the marriage is on the rocks now with him getting hookers, HK will test your marriage to the limits.