I have a chinese friend who is considering to send her child to a boarding school in the UK. He is currently 9 years old and she is considering sending him Sept 06. As I am her only Gweilo close friend then she considers me her fountain of knowledge when it comes to things British. Unfortunately, this is a subject that I know F all about. If anyone has any recomendations then please let me know. I tried to do some research on the web and found I few names but any personal recomendations would be nice. Cheers
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Thanks, I'll pass on the details
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OO is the not the right access code to make calls to you, is it? I thought only in China, you use 00 to make overseas call but not the other way round.
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Kman I completely agree with you. Why have children if you have to ship them off to boarding school at 9!!!
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Putting kids into boarding facilities at ages 7 13 is tantamounnt to child abuse.
Ask anyone who was a boarder between those ages
A bit extreme no??
Anyway since you sugggested, I did ask someone who went to boarding school in UK at the age of 10 - myself. It was a totally fun and fulfilling experience, I enjoyed it a lot more than schooling in HK. Though I'll admit it isn't for everybody but it's definitely not child abuse.
Rick - if you like, feel free to PM me about boarding school questions, your friend's son is planning to go to boarding school in the UK when he turns 10 next year and that's the age I went so I can share my experience with your friend.
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Thanks (I think), to the responses. I think that the child abuse claims are a bit OTT. I was a comprehensive boy myself but had friends at Uni who were boarders and they seemed to enjoy it. I mean this kid goes to a local school here anyway, no offence, but the pressure put on these children is tremendous. Nearly every month I read about some poor kid who commits suicide over a test result or academic performance.
Theresa is putting a lot of thought into this and she just wants what is best for her boy. Thanks Marissa, I will get in touch with Theresa and pass your message on.
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I totally agree with you again Kman. Children need their families and the affection and love a family provides. Childhood is a precious time which passes far too quickly.
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As a former boarder, I would never send my kids to boarding school. The risks of life-long scarring outweigh the benefits if things go well.
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cyrus
20 yrs ago
Being a boarding school product myself, I have to admit that it was a traumatic experience initially and wondered why my parents had thrown me out when I was eleven years old.
Tradition apparently seemed important as my father was also a boarding school product and went to the same school.
However, let's say that boarding schools may suit some individuals as I have seen from a number of school friends of mine or it may also have an adverse reaction as in my case.
End of the day...no hard and fast rule I guess with regard to the pros and cons.
Could be a screwed up kid in any case!
Cyrus
http://www.promotionhosting.com
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kman - nice to see you are so absolutely 100% certain of your position that you cannot even see the slightest chance that another point of view might be valid, and that you are able to disregard the evidence of thousands of happy ex-boarding school children
i was at boarding school. my wife was at boarding school. a large selection of my friends unsurprisingly were at boarding school.
we all loved it.
you get to be with your friends all day every day. a permanent sleep-over.
my wife and i are certainly planning to send our children to boarding school, though obviously that may change if we decide they are not mature or confident enough when the time comes.
and one last point - people seem to throw the term "child abuse" around rather freely these days.
sending a child to a properly regulated school in a country with a rule of law, albeit a school they may not like, is NOT child abuse by any reasonable definition
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cd
20 yrs ago
To Joe Bloggs,so you enjoyed boarding school but what if your kids tell you that they don't want to go, will you make them because you had a good time.
I agree totally with kman. Also I really don't see the problem parents have with secondary schools here, my daughter is at KGV, and I think she is getting a far better education than she would in the UK at the local comprehensive.
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to CD
Yes
I didn't want to go and loved it. My brother didn't want to go and loved it. My sister dodn;t want to go and loved it.
If, after giving it a reasonable shot, they hate it then i will think again.
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To say that sending your child to Boarding School amounts to child abuse is certainly incorrect. Kman did you have a boarding school education? or is this an assumption you are making? Myself and my siblings went to boarding school from a very young age and had a great time. The good in our case far outweighed the bad. In my opinion Boarding School provides great opportunities for many children. Having said that I hope that our children will not want to go to Boarding School and I would not actively encourage them to as I would miss them far too much and would perfer them to be at home with us. However, if they wished to go I certainly would not stop them, and if their experience was as mine they will have a fantastic time. CD I would certainly hope that your daughter is getting a better education at KGV than at a local comprehensive in the UK. KGV is a fee paying school and I would of thought as such a comparison would be made with a UK private/public school, not a UK comprehensive school.
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I did primary school in HK which I enjoyed, then did a year at Secondary SChool, thought it was a waste of time and went to boarding school and enjoyed it fully. By the end I was ready to leave, but surely any 18 year old would be?
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cd
20 yrs ago
To Bellab
Yes KGV is a fee paying school so how comw so many people move from HK when their kids get to secondary to put them in the local comps in the UK etc. Or worse send them to boarding school, you will never get that time back with your children.
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We don't know this particular family, he may have asked to go to boarding school (yes it does happen!) or he may have close family in UK or that his family are preparing to emigrate. None of us here know the facts so I don't think we should be judging whether he (or anyone else that decide to send their kids) has "bad" parents based on what we've read it. Just because a child is away from home does not equate to child neglect - what about the one that lives at home but his parents are always on business trips so he's left with the nanny?
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Brit
20 yrs ago
I was at boarding school with many HK Chinese and while they missed home they were all happy. As I recall they thought they were better off in the UK than here. btw I had a great time from age 10
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Brit - same as me.
So what's better? Giving your kid a private maid and then they hit 18 and can't tie their shoelaces, or sending them to boarding school where they can actually learn to do stuff themselfs! You don't know till you've tried. I've done both.
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I find it amazing that people who have no idea what they're talking about can get so worked up and emotional over a thread. Child abuse, gimme a break!
My time at boarding school was one of the best times in my life. I fully enjoyed the experience and I would certainly encourage any parent considering sending their children to boarding school to give it a try. If the child hates it, they can always come back to HK.
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Thanks to all.
It has been interesting to read these comments after not being online for a couple of days. I thought that I would give you an update about what is happening. Last night I was having dinner with Theresa and we decided on a few things. I am going back to the UK with my girlfriend for a few weeks this summer and Theresa's boy is coming with us for the first 10 days to see some of the schools near where I live (North Yorks/Cumbria). If he still wants to go, (he really does now) then Theresa will wait until he is 10 -like before. She is a caring mother who is very devoted to her children (two little ones too). Sorry, but I just felt that I needed to defend her after reading some of the posts, and as for sending her child to the UK for 10 days, well that was my idea. He is a good kid and his English is fluent. If he doesn't want to go to a boarding school then he won't and if he does then he will. Hope this kind of wraps up this thread, but again thank you for the comments from both sides of the argument.
Rick Hustwit
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rick - i'm on your side. kman and gum tree are the worst kind of idiot who label anything they don't agree with as child abuse.
the child wants to go. the parents want him to go. he'll have a ball.
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@@
20 yrs ago
Kman, you're being daft! I understand that it can seem a bizarre concept but I was a child who pushed my parents to send me to boarding school (although I'd agree 9 and 10 years old does seem VERY young).
Honestly it was a fabulous experience, I was stuck in the country looking for more excitement and boarding school offerend so many opportunities otherwise not available to me.
I actually don't want my kids to go to boarding school but that's because I'd miss them too much and we will live close to excellent schools.
It seems in this country having an overseas education is seen as a real advantage, this mother probably thinks she's giving her child the best possible opportunity for the future - hardly child abuse.
Perhaps you might lay off a bit.......
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err but this child wants to check out boarding schools.. he's not being dumped there against his will by the sound of things.
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yes kman - have them adopted at birth IS exactly the same as sending them to an expensive educational establishment for 8-10 wk terms 3 times a year where they will probably have a much better time than if they had stayed at home.
what an ar5e
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I think that I should point this out a little bit clearer. Theresa's son is the one that wants to go to the UK, whilst Theresa is the one that will be worrying senseless back here in HK. Obviously she is not sending him just because he wants to, as a child isn't experienced enough to make that choice but she is just exploring this option.
Theresa does think that when (I have pointed out 'if') he returns to HK then he will have better job prospects but I've stated that this isn't justification enough to send her kid away.
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He would return aged 16 to 18 or stay at the UK for Uni, so yes 'job prospects' were discussed as this is very important for my Chinese friend. You are beginning to annoy me now kman.
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Yeah true, thanks. I think I am just taking these comments about a close, very caring friend to heart. I didn't mean that last comment. It's nice to get a level headed comment like that after the bickering that has gone on with this thread. I have just realised too that I posted this thread to get any recommendations about decent boarding schools in the UK and haven't received one. I think I'll have a chuckle about that tonight over a beer and leave this thread be.
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Rick - http://www.isc.co.uk/
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Surely it doesn't make that much difference between Australia, Europe, USA etc? You're still in a foreign country and the flight times only vary a few hours?
So Aussie unis don't start in Jan - like the schs then? Anyway that time is so far away, a lot of students take a gap year to "grow up".
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Yes, Melting Pot, during my 12 hour flights home, I was always in tears wishing that the flight had been 9 hours instead of 12, that would have made the whole experience much more bearable.
On the topic of boarding schools in Australia, I've had experience working in one of Australia's finest, and my god have standards slipped. I assume that 200 years ago the Australian schools were based on the British model, but standards have slipped one hell of a lot since then. The majority of boarders in Aussie boarding schools are a) The minority in terms of ratio to Day Pupils b) Those who need extra attention with their education, and therefore boarding school is the ideal environment for them and c) "The Foreigners" who are often discriminated for being both Boarders and Foreign (racial issues).
We are also talking about a transition from Primary School to Prep School, not Secondary School to Uni, so I don't think a GAP year (or almost a year) is appropriate at the age of 9.
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I get you MeltingPot - I thought you meant the time off between a Southern Hemisphere sch and Southern Hemisphere uni was 9 months. I was thinking wow that's a long break!
As for getting into ESF/International school back home - I know someone who is having a nightmare, all the schools seemed to be fully subscribed.
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Sorry I meant in HK. Kid hasn't got a place in any school yet for next year.
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I pushed to go to boarding school, and because of that, when I was miserable, was too proud to quit it. (Also few good schools in my home area, so a lack of alternatives.) At that time, many of the Asian kids in the school were discriminated against by the majority. Not beaten up or anything, but socially excluded, leading to all-Asian friendship groups. Important that if the kid goes, he knows he can come home.
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I agree boarding school can bring many opportunities and experiences day schools can't. As a product of 5 yr boarding school I know this. I started when I was 11 yrs old. At that age, living away from my family was very stressful and traumatic. I would never send my own children to a boarding school because of that.
I cannot believe any parent who say their 5 or 7 yr old will be able to cope! This is not character building! This is emotional and spiritual trauma! When you dislocate a child that young from the parents, be prepared for the emotional and spiritual mess! Parents think their main duty is to give their children a decent education. But there are so many of you who want to send your children to boarding schools becos it's a status symbol. How Victorian!!
Many of you are under the illusion that sending away your children will toughen them up and prepare them for life's challenges. But think about what you are risking. You will damage your children in ways that you or even they will never realise. When you send your children away, you will start the process of disconnection. Imagine your child so diconnected from you, they cannot love you, they don't care for you, they don't socialise with you, they resent you. A bit extreme? I have met many many adults who are like this just becos they have lived so removed from their own families. Bonds and ties do not exist just because you share the same blood and name. They can only exist when you choose to nurture and cherish them. If you love your children, please, keep them. Your children are your values.
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I remember seeing a RTHK programme about 3 hk chinese boys going to boarding school in England. They were all aged 11, all away from their family for the first time, they were boarded together which after a few weeks the school realised was a bad idea as their English skills did not improve.After their first class, they were asked what lesson did they have , two said history , the other said geography.They missed their mummies and cried every night.
Did not like the food and were really happy when mummy sent them a box of instant noodles.Their language skills improved when each shared a room with an english boy.However after the end of the first term, two of the boys returned to HK,could not cope with the homesickness and the culture shock.
My assesment is that HK Chinese kids would be fine if they went at about the age of 13 or 14, any younger would be too immature to handle the problems.Again I know chinese 13 year olds who can't boil water, and 9 year olds who are self sufficient.All depends on the child in question.
Also if the school has Chinese HK students that have been through this situation before they will have some support.
swings and roundabouts
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