Posted by
JollyBee
12 yrs ago
Is it possible for our helper to go to the UK for a few mths (to look after our student son)? If so what are the requirements?
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I say let your son take care of himself! That's the best way of helping him.
On the question of letting your helper go to the UK. That is possible. I would think that you (your family) need to go together, and you have to prove to the country where you're going (in this case the UK) that you need the helper to be with you (e.g. you have younger kids to care for, etc.). This way, your helper needs a visitor's visa. But if you're thinking of getting her there just like how you got her to work for you here in HK, that is not possible.
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I so agree with you Punter. Assuming that he is going as a student he will be at University level, and if this is the case what a sorry state of affairs if he can't look after himself! BUT that said, the answer is still NO! You can no longer get a visitors's visa for your helper to go with the family and certainly not to go with your son to look look after him. Call the British Consulate for verification.
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Tks for the replies.
We've been down the route suggested and without explaining precisely why it hasn't worked, it hasn't.
I'm checking out with various people and some certainly think it is.
Will keep you posted & tks again for the feedback.
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JollyBee, if your son has some kind of special needs, I can understand your concern and why you would want someone with him. Although, I don't think it's going to be possilbe to send a DH over to the UK to take care of him. If you are from the UK, perhaps you could look into employing an out of work relative/friend to be your son's carer ...?
However, if it is purely that you want someone to 'look after your student son' whilst he's at university, I think you may be doing more harm than good and he's likely to end up being the laughing stock amongst his peer group.
Going off to uni is all about standing on your own two feet and learning to take care of yourself. The majority of students who go off to uni have never had to completely fend for themselves and know very little about cooking/housework/washing machines/budgeting/paying bills/etc ... but they have to learn for themselves ... and amazingly they do!!
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Disagree with Sapphire. The concept of being a 'laughing stock' at university because people need help died a couple of decades ago - and anyway so what!
JB- I guess you have written to the management of the educational institution and also those who were part of the process of accepting your son's application and approving it. If you haven't already, spend a little extra face time with them to explain your concerns and needs.
I understand as I had a colleague who's son had to move to the UK recently and he had to make a few trips in term to help him out as he lost his travel documents. But it has worked out okay.
Let us know how it goes. Ease of travel has opened up a lot of opportunities to many of us but also exposed our vulnerabilities and concerns. I hope it works out okay for you and your family.
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samsonight - "Disagree with Sapphire. The concept of being a 'laughing stock' at university because people need help died a couple of decades ago - and anyway so what!"
As I said, if the son has some kind of 'special needs' go for it. However, having had two kids of my own go through university in the UK recently (not a couple of decades ago), and numerous friends' kids have gone to uni in various countries, I can catergorically say that any student arriving at uni with a 'helper' to look after them WOULD be a laughing stock! Sorry, but that's the way it is. We've had passports lost, flights cancelled, keys lost, problems with bills, problems with landlords, illnesses ... but do know what? ... they coped and survived and they'll know how to handle things in the future for themselves, without having to run to mummy and daddy for help. It's all part of growing up. Kids that have everything done for them never learn and always expect someone else to do things for them. That's not how it is in the real world. Far too many kids here (especially those who have been brought up with helpers) expect others to do everything for them. I'm glad that my kids are now mature young adults who can handle their own lives without expecting mum and dad, or a helper to sort things out for them.
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Completely agree with Sapphire. You're not going to be helping your son in the long run if you don't let him stand on his own too feet. Most children growing up in the rest of the world don't have the luxury of having helpers in any event.
In answer to your question, though, No, you absolutely cannot send your helper to the UK to look after him. It's not allowed under the employment contract you have with your helper. You're not even allowed to send your helper to look after your relatives living in Hong Kong (although some locals here seem to think that just because they have a helper, she is their slave and she must go wherever she's sent). That is why in the employment contract you have with your helper, you have to stipulate the address of the premises where you live. The address on the employment contract is the only place your helper is allowed to work and if you try to send her anywhere else, that would be in breach of her conditions of stay here and you could both be prosecuted.
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Samsonite - I can imagine just how the communication will begin....... My son has lived in HK and has never done anything on his own without a maid so he will need to bring maid with him to University. Of course he will be a laughing stock and if his parents cared they would avoid such a scenario. Many students in the same position and Sapphire is correct they do learn! Obviously special needs being an exception. The answer is still NO you can't send your helper and special needs being the exception may be this boys saving grace.
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JB - PM me if you need any help regarding SEN and transitions.
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So, samsonight, you are now offering JB help regarding SEN, which is basically what others, myself included could have suggested. However, you totally disregarded what others have said in response to the original post regarding sending a 'helper' with the son ... the original post never mentioned that the son had any special needs, although I did suggest that it was understandable if that were the case. But you chose to mock the fact that I suggested sending a helper with the son would not be the best idea unless he had special needs.
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...along with a well researched scmp-inspired statement suggesting children brought up in hong kong are hopeless without a helper
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samsonite -
"...along with a well researched scmp-inspired statement suggesting children brought up in hong kong are hopeless without a helper"
Not quite sure what you're implying with the above ... are you trying to be sarcastic, saying that my statement was 'scmp-inspired', or are you actually saying that 'children brought up in HK are hopeless without a helper?'
I did suggest that many kids here, who are brought up with helpers, often expect to have everything done for them ... having worked in a school for many years, seeing it every day, I say this with experience! Which is why, when they go off to university, it's time for them learn to do things for themselves ... otherwise, they never do learn ... which I, and many others, would consider a bad thing. It's not healthy, and it doesn't help them in the real world.
I stand by my statement (and it seems that others agree) that any student (without special needs) turning up at university with a 'helper' would be a laughing stock amongst their peers. Anyone wishing to do this, if it were possible, would not be doing their child any favours.
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But your conclusion is based on the comments of a few people and your own insight. Don't you think the sample size is too small and biased?
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Not at all. Ask any university student how they would view a fellow student who turns up with a 'helper' and I'm sure you'll get your answer. If you have a child at uni now, or in the future, it is of course your choice to send a 'helper' to take care of them (if it were possible), but don't be surprised if they end up being a bit of a loner, without many friends ... most students would deem it unusual and a little strange to bring a 'helper' to uni. For most (as well as the obvious studying) it's a time when they can finally grow up and become independant, mature young adults, without having parents telling them what they can and can't do. And, without having someone else to do everything for them, they soon learn how to take care of themselves.
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samsonight - I would say the sample size is far from small. Do you know of any UK university students who take their Butlers to University with them? I don't. Prince William managed without one so I'm sure a child from Hong Kong can manage without a Maid. If not I would go as far as to say that it is a very poor reflection on their up bringing. (SEN being the exception)
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Oh dear! Malka, I would say that young soldier need a good lesson in manners for letting a lady carry his bag and not only that he needs to man up! If I were his parent he would get a good clip around the ear.
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So sample size for this is two (JJChan and Sapphire). Is that an acceptable number of responses to pass judgement for the thousands (actually millions - about 2-million) of current university students in the UK?
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samsonight -
"So sample size for this is two (JJChan and Sapphire)."
Don't forget 'punter' and 'shoe girl' - I think their comments were along the same lines. Although posts by different people on this thread are small in numbers, it seems that the majority of posters hold the same/similar views (apart from yourself and the OP).
In answer to your question, I do not think two is an acceptable number to pass judgement. It is you who assumes that only 2 people have the same views as myself. If you're really so interested to know, try asking some past/present students what they would think if a housemate at uni turned up with a 'helper' to take care of them ...
Either way, the chances of being allowed to send a 'helper' from HK to take care of a son/daughter at uni for a few months are likely to be zero, so it's of little importance really ... don't get worked up about it;-)
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