Questions from a new mom

Hi Moms and Dads!

I have a 3 weeks old baby girl and I am learning how to look after my baby and coping with all the sleepless nights and my new role as a mom. I have a few questions hoping other moms and dads in the forum may be able to help:


My baby seems to have a blocked up nose all the time; she has a few sneezes everyday but no coughing or fever. I keep checking the back of her neck to make sure she's warm and I was told that most newborns have this blocked up nose problem. I have tried to drop saline solution into her nose to make her sneeze and bring out the mucus, it works sometimes but still doesn't cure the problem. What should I do? (been to the doc and her lungs are clear and no sign of cold as well).


I breastfeed my baby but for the 11pm feed I give her formula (hoping she will sleep longer); she normally sleeps til 3-4am then she wakes up for another feed. I've noticed that she normally sleeps well after the 11pm feed, but after I feed her at 3-4am, she falls asleep ok but with lots of tossing and turning (sometimes she struggles in her sleep, so much that her face turns red and looks painful to me!) I was told this is all normal (I mean the tossing and turning and struggling) - is it true? Is there any ways I can help my baby to sleep better?


I am looking into breast pumps as in case I need to be away from my baby she can still be fed breastmilk thru bottles. As I only need to pump occasionally, I am not sure if I sure rent the Medela symphony one (seems like this model is the best choice for pumping), or I should go for something else. Any suggestions? Also, what is the best way to store breastmilk?


What is the best way to store steralized bottles? I give formula for the 11pm and 3am feed and I normally steralize the bottles before the 11pm feed.


Most books say breastfed babies need to be fed every 2-3 hours while bottlefed babies can go without feed for 4 hours. My baby seems to want to be fed all the time - as long as she's awake she wants to be fed - I have enough milk and she produces a heahlty number of wee wee and poo poo every day so baby has been getting enough milk from me. I am just worrying that she may be 'snacking' on me - should I feed her on demand or not?


Last but not least - how to establish trust between you and your helper? I find it really hard to trust my helper with my baby. Though I take care of the baby myself but sometimes if I need to go see the dentist or see my OB for check up I would like to leave baby home; but so far I don't feel comfortable leaving baby with my helper even for just one hour. Eventhough I have sent my helper to a childcare course and I have bought books for her to read to learn about babies in their first year, and I have also been showing her how I look after the baby but our standard is so different! What to do?


I hope someone out there can share their experience with me. Many thanks.

Hi, it is hard to be a mom isn't it? Cannot help you with the medical and milk questions as mine is big now and I cannot remember. However, as for the helper, I am assuming that yours does not have any personal experience of taking care of babies (she doesn't have any herself). Hard... You will have to teach her mostly. The best thing to do is to employ someone who is experienced (late advice). Mine raised my child practically. She TAUGHT me how to take care of a child. She was able to tell when the baby was sick and even how to treat certain problems such as gas and stomaches... 7 years on, she is still teaching me things... Either you teach yours and learn to trust her and hopefully she takes it seriously or get someone experienced. Plenty out there. Good luck.

Lots of big questions. I'll try and answer some of them.


for the "blocked nose" - it could be your baby's nasal passages are still rather narrow - so it sounds like they are blocked even if it's just a small amount of mucous. Get a nasal aspirator - and not the bulb kind - there is one where there is a separate canister that goes into the nose of the baby and it is connected to a long tube that goes into your own mouth. (sounds gross I know) You can gently suck out the mucous - FAR more effective than your traditional bulb.


there is actually a LOT of varying opinions on whether formula fed babies actually sleep longer. It seems like they do, and some mothers actually like it because they can SEE how much their baby is feeding (in ozs instead of minutes.) However, it's not always true that a formula fed baby sleeps more. My baby was exclusively breastfed and slept very well - from 10 weeks from 11-7 and there are many other mothers who exclusively breastfeed that have that experience. at your baby's age, it is normal to want to eat all the time and sleep and feed often. Let them. In terms of the night, if she gets up, I actually find it easier to give your breast vs. making a bottle. (since you're breastfeeding anyways.) the pain of sterilizing and all that stuff takes out a huge work load. so if you just straight breastfeed you might actually find yourself with more time instead of worrying about the whole sterilization thing. Especially if it really doesn't make a difference in the sleep.


As for the grunting and straining - normal. Could be she needs to be burped and as you're a bit tired aren't fully getting out all the gas. Also could be the desire to poop or something else. maybe the swaddle isnt' tight enough during that tims so she's more fidgety. It could be a number of different issues.


What I would start working on is getting your baby to feed more during the DAY so that she will eventually need less at night. Get her to slowly sleep less during the day (I'm not suggesting keeping her awake all day but for maybe one hour at a night) and trying to keep things much more quiet at night.


As for pumping and storing breastmilk, I HIGHLY recommend that you build up your supply now. A bunch of working mothers experience a extreme drop off after 7 months, and many find it hard to continue expressing (direct breastfeeding is fine.) A few moms and I pumped and starting storing at around 1 month old. Just get in the habit of doing it when your body is producing abundant milk. That way, if you ever do have to run out, you'll already have the milk ready intead of the mentality - "I'll just pump some out right now and give it to her." I still do a single pump at 6:45 in the morning, and I used to do one before the dream feed. I sort of wanted to give my baby the "richer" creamier milk, so I would pump out one side and get a few ounces. It's worth it.


Finally - feeding on demand vs. a schedule. That's really a personal choice. There are lots of varied opinions on this. I am a schedule and routine person as I work and I need to know what my baby is doing at certain times - so I find it very helpful to get myb aby on a routine. Mind you - nothing is really "routine" until the baby is close to 4 months old. Most days will be an "attempt" at a routine, and then suddenly things will settle down in the matters of nap and sleep through the night. There are lots of fans of Gina Ford (I love her) and just as many people who don't like her and find her too regimented. Try doing a search on page on Gina Ford, schedules and routines. You'll get a lot of results, opinions and ideas.


Good luck! Keep breastfeeding - you're doing great.

Hi simplythebest,


After the 11pm bottle feed I normally get up at 3am to feed her again, whether it's formula or breastmilk she always wakes up 2 hours later. So I always need to get up at 5-ish to do another feed. Also, she always poos between 3am to 6am, at least twice, so I always have to get up to change her nappy too....very tiring @_@


My baby is sleeping less now during the day and when she's awake she always wants to be fed. A lot of the time there is only 1 hour or less between feeds, she may nurse on one breast for 10-15 mins then refuses to nurse anymore. Sometimes she nurses for a long time, like 30mins on each breast, then fall asleep for a while (30-45 mins), then wake up and asks for more!!

Hello Chrispy06!

My girl is also 3weeks old, hah how time flies! I'm a fulltime mom but she's on bottlefeed, haven't really fully respected the 4hr routine when it comes to feeding, rather feeding her at least 3 to 4 hrs in between. She also is having the blocked nose esp. in the wee hrs, sneezing at times w/c is can be good because it helps to clear her tiny nose. what time you bath your LO and how often? Mine now that she's getting bigger I give her bath everyday but in the morning & just a spongebath before bedtime. There are nights that she sleeps well, I even have to wake her up for her feed sometimes. But most nights she's awake between 1am to 3am, then goes for the "grasse matinee" afterwards! How can we keep them awake during the day at this age? I have no idea so I just let her sleep whenever she needs to and do my things according to her time. Swaddling her now is impossible so what I do is just wrap her legs to keep her warmer, she seems to be calmer that way when sleeping. Right now I can say she sleeps good, does poop 2x a day, passes pipi normally. Her doctor advice me to give her 3oz each feed so she can sleep longer. In two weeks she has gained 300grams.

She's so tiny at the moment to trust her to anybody let alone a helper whom I'm not related to, I understand your dilemna about trust.

Get sleep as much as you can, here I've got no help, but its my husband who is having postnatal blues!

Hi hkchoichoi, thanks very much for your reply, very helpful indeed. I shall look into Gina Ford, thanks!

Hi Coquinne,


I normally bath my LO around 2pm and in fact most books said a baby dosen't need bathing everyday. My girl sleeps less in the day now, one nap each in the morning and in the afternoon; and she's usually up betwween 8-11pm.

My helper has a son but he's 14 yrs old so it's beeb a long time since she looke after an infant. Also, I am not being mean but taking care of a baby in a remote village in Philippines is very different than looking after a baby in HK. Despite the cultural difference we have very different hygeine standard.