Posted by
Peta-Rene
15 yrs ago
the sharing of bodily fluids and and or feelings of any kind is cheeting.....how can this be so hard of a answer or anyone be of any other opinion. Sex in is certainly cheating and nothing else. Do these people have no respect for their partners or whatever viruses or diseases they can bring home by simply kissing another are we so ignorant to this???or we just do not care?
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In "Western" society, most people think that kissing and/or sexual activities constitute cheating. However I can see your friends' point. I wonder if your male friends would say the same in front of their wives if they were married. ;)
Emotionally speaking, I suppose that men tend to have less of an emotional attachment during sex. Many men can have sex with "someone else" and still love their "partner". Is this worse than being "in love" with someone else that one's "partner"? Is unfaithfulness of the body with no feelings involved worse than unfaithfulness of the mind? Can one help "falling in love" or being infatuated with someone? The question is not so clear cut.
"the sharing of bodily fluids and and or feelings of any kind is cheeting.....how can this be so hard of a answer or anyone be of any other opinion. Sex in is certainly cheating and nothing else."
It is really not that black and white for everyone. It depends very much on opinions in society and in the couple. There are couples (admittedly rare) that accept sex with other partners, usually with a "safe sex" clause. There is also the polyamorous lifestyle, where participants fully accept that someone has multiple partners.
". Do these people have no respect for their partners or whatever viruses or diseases they can bring home by simply kissing another are we so ignorant to this???or we just do not care?"
The risks from kissing a random person are negligible. Worst case you'll get herpes but it's very unlikely. Of course, you could get a cold or the flu. As for venereal diseases, safe sex practices, of properly implemented, make transmission risks very small. Not saying this somehow legitimizes unfaithfulness, just that in my opinion one cannot use disease transmission as an argument against unfaithfulness.
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Cheating is anything that betrays a partners loyalty and faith. It generally brings about guilty feelings.
If no feelings of guilt then the cheater has a pathological tendency to betray others and likely can not be saved.
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A healthy relationship depends upon trust and mutual understanding. One party alone cannot decide what is acceptable: because two people are involved, both people must agree.
The rules of the relationship must be acceptable to, and adhered to by, both parties. How could it be otherwise?
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I guess it's just getting caught
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No - if you get caught or not, it is still cheating. Anything other than total devotion to the person you publicly stated your commitment to is CHEATING. How can you say you are are totally committed to one person *(and live the charade) yet still have sexual thought and/or activities with one or more other people. You can't.
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FKKC
15 yrs ago
When you make a commitment to the another person and when you break the promise, then you are cheating - as simple as that!!!
Don't commit - then there's no cheating involved as you answer only to yourself.
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"Anything other than total devotion to the person you publicly stated your commitment to is CHEATING." Show me someone who says they are totally devoted 24/7 and never has any sexual thoughts about another person (male or female) and I'll show you a liar ...
Let's live in the real world folks.
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I had always thought that Asians were more conservative than Westerners before moving to this side of the world. Now I feel that Westerners talk about it more and locals keep quiet, but do it at least as much. According to a study I read about Japan, more than 80% of men cheat on their wives and over 50% of women respond in kind. A similar article found 50% of men in Beijing having sex outside marriage. For reference, 15-20% are the common numbers reported for the United States. I tell my friends back home that other rules apply here. I know some men (local and foreign) who regularly have sex outside their marriages, yet feel that they are devoted to their familes. The whole thing has me so confused that I have no urge to get married. The only exception would be to raise children, otherwise what is the point?
(I am based in Shanghai)
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Up front in a relationship, set the expectations. If you have not done that, do it now. While "cheating" is a moral issue (meaning, what is your belief?), how do you define "cheating' for someone else? I know my definition even before our marriage. Thankfully, my husband set the definition for us at the beginning of our marriage, and it agrees with mine.
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Cheating is when either emotionally or physically you are going outside your relationship to meet your needs. It can involve actual physical contact or just cyber involvement.
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cheating is when you are not supposed to do a certain thing and then you do it;
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'when you sleep with someone your body makes a commitment' : heard this line from a movie i can't remember.
you can't just go around having sex outside marriage and then even think you're not cheating...i would call such a perosn a freak really.
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i800
15 yrs ago
stupidgal why you are troubling yourself with this question.If you think its cheating then it is.....and you can simply walk out of the relationship.We as adults have the right to walk in and walk out of the relationship.Dont get too philosophical about life.Accept the truth that Men are different.They like sex no matter in the relationship or out of the relationship.
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