Posted by
agreen
14 yrs ago
Hi all,
I hope for some good suggestions on dating Asian men. I have dated this Asian guy twice now. He's nice, respectable, and funny. After our first date he said he would call me and after a week I still did not hear from him so I deleted his phone number, etc. A month later I heard from him and he wanted to get together. The second date went really well also, there was some flirtation but also a few things that made me confused about whether he was interested in me such as, he was talking about his ex-gf! By end of second date we did not kiss or hold hands or anything.
It is almost a week and I have not heard from him. I have read the book, He's just not that into you and really wonder if he's not into me, or is it a cultural thing where he is not making a move and waited a month to see me?
I'm thinking of call him, but I don't want to waste my time if he's really not interested. Should the rules of he's just not that into you be followed all the time or is it mainly for the western man?
I don't see a guy taking a girl out on 2 dates and paying for everything and the second date lasting almost all day as him not being interested in me.
But I must say I don't have much experience dating Asian men.
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Hi, if you're looking for advice from the cultural angle, I think you'll need to narrow down which part of the vast continent of Asia he hails from. A typical Bangladeshi guy might act very differently to a Mongolian guy, for example. I personally believe that how people interact with each other has as much to do with their individual personality, family and upbringing, social skills etc. as their cultural habits.
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I think you should stick to what you learned in the book. Any guy who calls you once a month, is confusing, and still leaves you wondering if you are getting the wrong message, is just proving to you that you may need to read the book a second time.
If a guy likes you, he'll call. If a guy is bored and has time for a meal but all his friends have other plans, he will call you once a month.
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It's normal for Asian guys to pay meal even if they are not interested in you. And if he starts to talk about EX on your second date, I think he doesn't see you as the future girlfriend or anyone serious. As other people suggest here, the rules are applicable for men regardless the nationalities. In my personal experience, they would do a lot to win your heart if they really like you, sometimes even sacrifice a lot if necessary, much more than western guys, so you will definitely know!
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Yes, but what will they call you?
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Stick to the golden rule, if a guy likes you, you'll know, if he doesn't, you'll be confused.
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I agree with KaileyB. It's that straight-forward.
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RJF
14 yrs ago
KaileyB, what a rule you got there and could not agree with you more
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shaq
14 yrs ago
It is normally said that women have the same mother. But so are men. When it comes to dating, generally, Asian men are not different from any other. My dear, if it is not gonna work out or going to work out, you know by instinct and you'll part of the whole show. Those 'funny' ancient thoughts of who-call-who or who-calls-first should be non-issue in the present world. Go for what you want and if what you want doesn't want you, move on. We're all around .... hehehe!!! Between note that life in HK and relationship are tactfully managed. Plz, manage yours. Cheers and good luck!
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I'm an Asian woman (but not from HK). Generally speaking: 1) there is perhaps no spark if he doesn't call you for such a long time after a date, but he still could be generally interested in you. it's very possible that he's the kind of person who prioritise his work/hobby/friends over a relationship or simply he's been busy; 2) talking about an ex will not be a good sign, which I assume would be the same rule everywhere. There are some who would, though, (I met one before) and there is a possibility that they wrongly believe it'll make them look more attractive... Good luck!
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i think if guys are really into you, they'll find ways to keep in touch with you.. if they didnt call or talk to you for a long time, either he's still thinking about this relationship or just sees you as a common friend..
so why waste the time to wait for him, unless you're really into him~
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yes. if you are sure that you are into him, then call him. but if not just sit back and see how things go
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The only way to change for most guys is to actually have their limiting beliefs disproved right before their eyes. Find an Asian guy who is very successful with women, someone who can mentor and show by their actions and results that limiting beliefs are stupid. Someone who can once and for all shatter these thoughts. By the way, if you find your date was boring check out this cute tips form this site and I assure you, you will enjoy it.
http://cupidsdatingtips.com/uncategorized/test-post-pay-no-attention/
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Thanks everyone for your replies but this 'case is closed'. This person only contacted me when he wanted some company, not necessarily ... but just company and when I reciprocated he wasn't available. Note to ladies- don't overthink like I did. If he likes you he will let you know by spending time with you and asking you out before the last date ends! Don't waste your time like I did! I am now happily getting to know someone who is well worth my time.
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