Confused Post Miscarriage Crazy Lady

Hi,


I am so confused and need a little bit of a pep talk and to hear from anyone who went through something similar.


As I mentioned on an earlier thread I had a missed miscarriage and needed a D & C (this was done on Feb 26th). I then googled / read a little too much on the subject - I also wanted a second / third opinion so I trotted off to 2 other doctors. The first doctor said I had PCOS and advised I come back in 2-3 months.

I then went back to the doctor who did the D & C and she said I didn't have PCOS and in fact had another egg in the wings - this was 2 weeks post op and we could see it on the scan. I had made an appointment with another doctor in the first week post op. so decided to still go - which I did today - 4 weeks post op and he said I had a mild case of PCOS and it looked like one of my righ ovary foliciles was still 'funny" (can't remember the exact word).

I then said to him that I had had a scan at 2 weeks and was told that I had a new post miscarriage egg - he said 'oh, that must be the left overs then'.

So now I don't know whether I am PCOS or not.


Post miscarriage is it normal to become a little odd trying to find answers and wishing you were pregnant again immediately? Bizarrely I hoped that the doctor would say today - 'oh look you're pregnant again'...I know rationally he wouldn't...but I just wanted everything to be better and back on track.


Now I am in a pickle again - after the 'joy' of finding a new egg 2 weeks ago to the downer of hearing the latest today.

Keep in mind it's 3 different opinions so I am no doubt confusing myself.

ok, I could try that.


I think I am going through the blues, very sad the past few days. The conflicting doctors opinion's are not helping,

I am a wreck and very sad.

I feel a bit better today - big chat with family at home (er, in the middle of night).


Thanks Cara for your advise - I might leave it a few weeks, try to focus on other things and then try another doctor.


My partner is awesome, he seems to have moved on and does not want to talk about it. I wish I was as strong.

Hope things will look up. I agree with cara. Think about something else for a while. Remember when sex was just for fun? ;) There are plenty of stories of parents who "stopped trying" and all of a sudden *poof* there's a baby.






"My partner is awesome, he seems to have moved on and does not want to talk about it."


"Moved on" and "does not want to talk about it" seem to conflict a bit. If you need to talk about it, he should be available for that.

Thank you Cara.


My partner keeps his cards close to his chest and is a very calm man. I on the other hand have oscillated from being fine, to crying, to angry over the past 4 weeks. I haven't been great at articulating my feelings, which hasn't helped us.


I do feel a lot better having had a huge cry and a really long, chat to my poor mum back home (we talked into in the wee hours) . I'm quite exhausted today and feel a bit bruised (not sure what else to call the sensation). But I do feel better.

well like you i have been down this road. it is very emotional and it doesnt get any easier. i have lost 5 pregnancies before i was finally told that i had PCOS. my regular doctor never thought to check for it but when i went to a new doctor he asked a LOT of questions and told me he was almost 100% sure that was my problem, but he wouldnt know for sure until he did an ultrasound of my ovaries, and some blood tests.. he then confirmed that PCOS was my problem and i am now on medication.


i think you should get another opinion from an edocrinologist and go from there. a lot of the times family doctors or ob-gyns dont think to check for it unless you have miscarried more than 3 times. and i personally would hate for anyone else to have to go through that heartache if they dont have to. emotionally each miscarriage is a little harder and most doctors dont think about the emotional strain that it puts on you and your relationship. i know first hand and it stinks. i wish you luck in the future.

Thanks Veta for your post. It has been quite a while since I started this initial thread and things worked out in the end.



After the D & C, our doctor sent the tissue for tests to determine the cause. The results came back 8 weeks later and indicated that there was no sign of a syndrome etc. - there was however an inadequate number of chromosomes. Essentially just a bad egg.


In between (the month immediately following), I did nearly drive myself and my husband crazy - went to a plethora of different doctors for second, third, fourth opinions. One doctor - charged me HKD$5,400 for a 20 minute visit and after a quick scan told me I had PCOS.

This now doesn't make any sense - I fall pregnant easily, have nearly had a problem ovulating etc. and don't suffer from any of the symptoms. Pyschologically this really effected me for a week or two. I then went back to the doctor who performed the D & C and told her about the other doctors diagnosis - she guessed the doctors name and laughed, then said 'just relax'.

I took her advise and just relaxed - focused a little more on my little girl and husband and my job. Had a couple of romantic dinners and was pleasantly surprised a month later.


When our doctor called with the results of the tissue tests - I told her I needed to see her again, I thought I was pregnant. I am now 8 months pregnant and we feel very blessed.

It was in retrospect a learning experience on so many levels - I fell in love with my husband even more deeply than before, I cherish the time with my little girl, I also realised how lucky we are to be given another chance.


Feel a bit like a whale today though - looking forward to going on maternity leave in a couple of weeks.

Miscarriages/D&C can all be very emotional things to go through, and yep, men being men, they don't always say the right thing at the right time and sometimes say very little at all!


Congratulations on your impending birth, and giving hope to the rest of us that we're not completely losing it when we're on an emotional rollercoaster and going through difficult times.


Good luck with everything.