There was a great thread a while back, which made me realize how many adoptive parents there are in HK. Would some of you be willing to share your experiences? We submitted our application in December and our workshops are around the corner. It would be nice to know some of the things to expect.
These are some of the things I am curious about: How long did the interviews, referee checks and home visit take? From the time you were completely approved, how long did it take before you were matched with a child? Were you hoping for (did you receive) a boy or a girl? How old was the child you were matched with? (How old were you hoping for?) Is your child considered to have "special needs", and if so, in what way? How has the bonding/attachment process been with your new child? Are you local, ethnic Chinese or foreigners?
It's exciting, but there're so many unknowns so I appreciate your comments :-)
Please support our advertisers:
yoga
19 yrs ago
Hi, yes would also like to know from parents who have adopted here and how their chidren are now, bonding, attachement. Would be great to hear of other experiences. Thank you
Please support our advertisers:
We have adopted twice. The home study takes about three months to complete. This includes the interviews, referee checks and home visit. The first time, in 2002, we waited 3 1/2 months to be matched. The second time, in 2004, we were matched immediately. They are both girls (we said either with slight pref for girl both times.) They were 3.5 and 4.5 months old. The reasons children are considered special needs very considerably so I won't go into that except to say that both were special needs and both are 100% healthy. Bonding takes time, but they adjusted so well that I think we had an easy time of it. If you want any more information feel free to send me an email.
I haven't heard from anyone on the other threads about how long placement is taking right now. I'm curious to know too.
Please support our advertisers:
Hi, I'm curious to find out more about the adoption process in HK too. Hubby and I started the application process and are now waiting for our case worker to schedule the interviews, home study etc. It's our first adoption and we have friends who have also gone through the same process, though two of them are no longer in HK. Another friend got her baby (girl) four months after submitting the forms last year, so I would say hers was really quick. I'm hoping to be matched as quickly as possible. Would dearly love to hear from others on this board about their experiences! Dsabline, you waited 3.5 months to be matched for the first one? Gosh...I don't know if I can wait that long! :) I'm so excited but at the moment we still have to get all the baby paraphernalia ready, not to mention hire a helper! It's going to be a bit chaotic to say the least, going from two people to four in a flat. Quite an adjustment to make, as everyone says. We've requested for a newborn girl too. How old are your girls now, Dsabline? Who was your case worker in 2004? Just wondering if it's the same as ours. Anyone else out there waiting to adopt or has adopted? Please share your experience!
Please support our advertisers:
Thank you so much for writing dsabline. It sounds like you were matched with girls quite quickly both times. We've indicated the same, so far, though my husband is starting to think he'd rather we had a girl. Do you mind me asking if you are local or foreigners? Also, would you have any resources (or experiences) to suggest to faciliate attachment/bonding? It's nice to hear that's gone so well for you.
Hey, Jen1812, if you were carrying a biological child, you'd have to wait 39 weeks :-) That 3 months will fly by as you get the nursery ready and your helper situation settled!
Please support our advertisers:
Hi, I found the previous adoption thread on this website, but it's located under the "Pregnancy and Fertility" category. Gosh, there was loads to read through and all very interesting! I don't know about dsabline, but both hubby and myself are ethnic Chinese. Yeah, I know, pregnant women wait 9 mths to see their baby, so I guess adoptive moms wait about the same length of time too, on average. :) I'm just impatient and excited now...but at the same time I'm a bit worried that I might suffer from post-adoption blues. I read about that and it's similar to post-natal depression. I guess sometimes after all the excitement dies down, reality sinks in and you wonder what you got yourself into...and by choice too! However, I hope none of us will suffer from this. As for resources, I got quite a lot when I was in the US recently, and I also found some really useful ones at Pollux (in Horizon Plaza) to read to the child as they grow. Mother's Choice also gave a list of books they recommended...you can find most of them on amazon.com. How far along are you right now, my thoughts? Have you finished attending both workshops yet? We're going to the second (and final) one on Saturday, and we have our joint interview next week. Are you all local Chinese or foreigners? In the Playtimes magazine this month, there's an article on adoption in HK shared by someone who went through the experience. It's a good magazine to read!
Please support our advertisers:
Hi jen1812--we just finished our second workshop and have our joint interview scheduled next week too, so we're tracking right along with you. We're foreigners though, so you'll get matched quicker than we will :-)
Thank you for the book resources, I'm a total book person. Of course Mothers Choice would have a good list, I'm glad you suggested them. And someone else mentioned that Playtimes article, it's running in two parts I think, last month and this(?) Haven't gotten ahold of them yet.
Please support our advertisers:
Hi there again, My Thoughts. I feel kinda weird calling you that! Could I please know your name so that I can address you properly? :) I'm Jen, as you might have guessed. I don't know if we'll be matched quicker...we want a girl and according to the SWD the wait is longer! We've asked for a 0-4 mths old because obviously the younger the infant, the easier the bonding would/should be. I've got several great books and the top three I would highly recommend you to get are "Secret thoughts of an adoptive mother" by Jana Wolff; "Twenty things adopted kids wish their adoptive parents knew" by Sherrie Eldridge; and "Parenting your adopted child" by Andrew Adesman and Christine Adamec. The list from Mother's Choice isn't exhaustive and I found many of the ones I have through my own search. HK bookstores in general don't carry many (if any) books on adoption, so all of what I got were from Borders or Barnes & Noble in the US. The exception was three kids' books on adoption which I found by accident in Pollux. I can see that the 21st floor in Horizon Plaza is going to become a regular haunt of mine, what with Pollux and Bumps to Babes there!! :) I'm a total book person too. Is this going to be your first child through adoption? It's my first one, after years of suffering from recurring severe endometriosis, surgeries and failed attempts in IVF. We took a complete break from all this for the past five years to recover our sanity and normal lives.
Yes, the Playtimes article - I wrote about it in the other thread too. I just got my copy today (after searching far and wide) and dove straight into the article on adoption in HK. Fortunately it is the first of two parts and says that the second article will be in next month's issue. I got the magazine from Taste in Festival Walk and I'm going to subscribe to it, to save me the hassle of finding it each month. I wasn't able to find it in Page One or Dymocks, though Bookazine might carry it, I think. Hope this info helps. Do write if you want to know more. Let's keep in touch regarding our adoption process!
Please support our advertisers:
Hi Jen, you've written a really nice response, and thank you for all the book suggestions. It's time to start building our library, and the sooner the better with our interviews coming up--like to sound somewhat informed :-)
Yes, this will be our first child through adoption. We have a delightful 2 1/2 year old biological daughter and we're excited about the prospect of adding a sibling through adoption. We've been wrestling with the gender question. Of course with a biological child one doesn't have a choice, so it seems a bit strange to impose a preference. But at the same time I had 2 brothers and always longed for a sister, so we may be a bit partial to the sisterhood thing for our family. So far we've been saying "no preference".
I've heard how difficult long periods of fertility treatments are...a shame you had to go through it without success. But good it's all behind you now and you can look forward to some exciting things. I just met a new friend today with a 15 month old boy through adoption in HK, they were matched when he was 3 mo. He's a complete delight and the best thing that ever happened to them.
I wouldn't stress about post adoption blues btw. It's good to be aware of so you can be proactive if necessary, but not something to color the anticipation now :-)
Hope your joint interview goes well. Who's your case worker?
Please support our advertisers:
Hi jen, we just had our joint interview, it was kind of fun. Our social worker is really nice. She used the interview to lay out the adoption process and timeline, to get to know the us and our relationship, and to understand our parenting philosphy/style. It took an hour and a half.
Have you had yours yet? How did it go?
Please support our advertisers:
Hi there, My Thoughts! Nice to hear from you again and thanks for sharing about your joint interview. Ours is on Saturday. Who's your case worker? Ours is Karen Chan, whom we haven't yet met but have only spoken with over the phone. At all previous intro meetings/workshops we didn't see any Karen there. Hope she's nice...but I think other people have written elsewhere in another adoption thread here that all the SWD case workers are nice folks, so I guess there's nothing to worry about. How long did your case worker tell you the wait would be, for your case? I know the whole home study thing (from approval of application, assignment of case worker until approval after home visit) takes about 3 mths, but what I'm dying to know is how long the average couple has to wait after that to be matched with a baby. How is your little 2.5 yr old daughter taking the news of having an adopted sibling? It's so nice that you already have a kid so this whole parenting issue isn't new for you, whereas for me it's a whole new ball game. :) I'm glad for this website as I've learned new insights into different things as far as babies are concerned. I mean, I never knew how difficult it would be to choose a stroller, cot, milk bottles, baby carrier etc for a little one! We haven't purchased any of these yet and I'm still in the "research" stage. :) The choices that kids have nowadays! Well, now you've got your joint interview over, I guess the next step coming up would be the individual ones. Please share that experience too after it's over, as I would really like to know what sort of questions they will be asking and be mentally prepared. Did you ask for a Chinese baby or a mixed race one, btw?
Please support our advertisers:
Hi all, just thought I would join in on the caht. We have been approved and are now waiting!! Have been approved for about two months and no news yet.We would love a baby girl but realsie we may be waiting for a long time. Here's hoping though! Yes, am now in a similar stage of researching for baby "stuff" and am finding it very daunting. Really don't know what is the best stroller, crib, bottles, etc, etc. HELP ANYONE!! Am leaving a bit late I know so any advice would be appreciated. When you don't know how old the baby is, it's hard, isn;t it?The individual interviews are fine really asks about your own childhood experiences, your parents etc. Really nothing to worry about.
Please support our advertisers:
Hi Bernadetteway, I was wondering if you had been matched yet! I'm glad you wrote. The anticipation is hard I bet. Especially because once you know you've been matched you have just, what, two weeks to be completely ready?!
Honestly, on the buggy, I'd get a Baby Bjorn to start and then try your little one out in a few to see what makes the most sense. I know plenty of people who have bought 3 and 4 strollers, one even bought 7 (!), because what they got wasn't right for their child or circumstances. Besides, with all the stairs in HK, the bjorn is much much easier. I didn't have a buggy when our daughter was born and then when I tried her in the one I was sure was the right one (such a popular model) she absolutely hated it. The seat was too hard and she just screamed. It would have been a complete waste of money, or have taken up storage space for a good long while until she grew into it. Besides, the features you'd need for a very little baby are different than an older one so the age child you're matched would impact the buggy decision.
It's true about the choices. I used a book called "Baby Bargains" when I was doing all that research and the product reviews were surprisingly helpful. It is US centric though, which may be either annoying or impractical for you.
Jen, you asked how our daughter is taking the news of an adopted sibling....we haven't said much yet as we still have the 3 mo of the home study and then they said 3-4 mo wait for a match, that's an eternity for a toddler. Still, we've asked her if she'd like a baby brother or sister and she's said, "no, a puppy". So there you have it :-)
We aren't partial about race...which is probably good for matching us. I think Chinese couples generally would generally prefer a chinese child over one who's mixed race (?)
It's exciting, isn't it? And you two are just embarking on parenthood...it's the absolute best thing in the world, we had no idea how much we were missing before.
Oh Jen, Our caseworker is Lajo Chau, very very nice.
Please support our advertisers:
cd
19 yrs ago
What would be your very first point of contact if you are thinking of adopting?
Please support our advertisers:
Call the social welfare department at 2582-3144. They'll delighted to hear from you and will ask you a few questions to be sure you meet the basic criteria (e.g. you should have been a resident for at least 18 mo.). Then they schedule you for an introductory meeting, afterwhich you'll receive the application by mail and it goes from there.
Please support our advertisers:
Hi, in answer to your question, we are a western couple without any children. I think we may fall around 2nd/3rd on the list in terms of who is offered a child, i.e. local Chinese couple are first preference, then I think those with a child already and then a western couple without children, etc.The waiting is the hard part.Will try and get organised now while waiting!!Good luck to everyone.
Please support our advertisers:
I didn't realize that a western couple with a child would queue ahead of a couple without children yet...
bernadetteway, how was your home vist?
Please support our advertisers:
Sorry I think I didn't make myself clear,it's that of course a western couple without children would be a prority before those with children already.
Home visit was fine, just had a look around our flat, where the babys room was, then we basically sat and went through our preference form. It was really fine, no great surprises.
Going today for a look at cribs and strollers!! Just thinking it will happen fast when it does and want to have some idea of what to buy, haven't a clue!!! Let's keep chatting, it's so good to hear from others in the same position.
Please support our advertisers:
That makes more sense of course, that a couple without children would have priority. Though it seems those who have already adopted in HK are also given a preference, given that dsabline was matched so quickly the second time.
We should, hopefully, be approved by summer...since we're staying here, I'm hoping it may go quicker with so many out of town. Wishful thinking probably :-)
Good luck on the shopping bernadetteway...I found all the choices completely overwhelming, but you're probably much more sensible than I. Now of course it's all pretty straightforward. Find a mum friend who'd accompany you sometime!
Hey, Jen, you must have had your joint interview today. How did it go?
Please support our advertisers:
Hi everyone, great to see the adoption thread being active again recently! You're right, My Thoughts, we had our joint interview today. It went very well, our case worker is real nice and friendly. We were there about 1.5 hrs and she basically asked some questions about us to get to know us better, in a way, and at the end also set up our individual interview dates, which are scheduled in the coming two weeks. Things are moving in the right direction and speed and I think (according to her anyway) we should be approved by end of April. Trouble is, though, we may have to wait quite a long time to be matched. Our case worker told us that in the recent months there have been very few babies available and many, many more couples applying to adopt. So the demand far outnumbers the supply, and last month there were only TWO babies available for matching!! This is the info we were given, to paint a realistic picture. On average there are about 40-50 couples waiting and there are less than 10 babies available each time, geez. I sure hope I have a child by Christmas this year! Our case worker said that the more open and flexible prospective parents are about the baby's conditions, the faster they'd be matched. But then again, she also did say that it's a lifelong decision and we have to be very sure we can cope with the decisions that are ticked on the preference form - this mainly applies to those who are open to a baby's disabilities, health problems etc. I'm so ready to bring my daughter home now but I guess the waiting period will be good for my patience (never a virtue of mine!) and I'm going to use the remaining months to relax with hubby while we still can enjoy our own time together, and get organized. The waiting is the hard part, as Bernedetteway mentioned. But hopefully it'll pass pretty quickly if we keep ourselves occupied with things to do! My thoughts, you aren't the only one who found the shopping choices overwhelming. I'm feeling exactly the same right now and don't know where to start looking! Everyone seems to have a different opinion on what's good, although for some things it's pretty obvious that brands like Graco or Peg Perego or Bjorn stand out more than others. For those of you who already have kids, please share your thoughts with us first-timers so that it'll be easier when we go shopping for stuff. The last thing I want to do is to buy something that's not going to be useful and end up occupying more space in an already small apartment. As we all know, space in HK is a big problem! :)
Please support our advertisers:
Hi, yes that's more or less what our case worker said to us at our joint interview and home visit. There are definitely more and more people adopting here. The wait could be very long!! Like you two, we would just love to have our baby now, it is so hard. Today we went for a look in Mothercare, etc. Oh my gosh, just don't know. haven't seen any nice cribs yet and as for the strollers, I couldn't even put it up and down and that was without holding a baby!!! This was the Maclaren Quest. Everyone seems to talk about that one. But, honestly haven't a clue. I thin we should all go shopping together or perhaps that wouldn't be a good idea...lots of clueless Mums to be!! Looked at the baby bjorn with the back support but it was over $900...Am also thinking about getting a baby changing table. what do yoi guys think? I guess these are the big things and all the other things, bottles, clothes,sterilizer, etc seem a lot easier to choose. Oh, decisions, decisions!
Please support our advertisers:
I think we SHOULD get together bernadetteway, start a little adoptive mummy-to-be group that becomes a baby group when our babies come home :-) I guess that only makes sense if we're all fairly close by, but it IS nice to know other mothers in the same situation and in our case, it'd be nice for our kids to be around other adoptive families.
I think the Quest gets easier to use once you're familier with it, it certainly is popular so people must like more than how it looks. HKchoichoi loves hers and that's a strong endorsement. It didn't do if for us though, for one thing, our daughter HATED it, seat too firm when she was very little, and for another, the sunshade was absolutely useless. I ended out buying a light weight Combi with a huge adjustable full cover sunshade and a comfi padded fully reclinable seat when we were in Singapore. It's not as snazzy looking as the Mac's, but I've been really happy for that sunshade. I wouldn't have known to look at Combi's btw (a Japanese brand) if it weren't for the stroller reviews in Baby Bargain's. It's not that great for long walks though, even around the Lugard Trail, not as well sprung as some of the all terrain types. So think through what you think you'll be using it for.
There are 3 things I'd spend money on: A good crib, a good feeding chair (for mummy) and a baby bjorn. Our daughter is still happily in her crib and she's 2 1/2, so it's been a very good buy. It's a Pali, and it's great. Easy to use rails, very comfy mattress, nice looking, and wasn't so expensive. Lots of kids her age are climbing out of their cribs though, so one thing to look at is how low the mattress can go. The lower the better I'd say, keep those toddlers safely in their cribs rather than wandering around loose at night!
You spend a lot of time feeding a young baby-- it's lovely cuddle/attachment time but you should be nice and comfortable so you really enjoy it (instead of wanting to delegate) :-)
I've talked loads about how much I loved carrying our daughter around in a baby bjorn. Granted, I'm pretty fit and she's not big, so it worked really well for us. Having her always within my hug was really cosy and allowed us to "communicate" a lot, long before she was verbal.
Jen, it's nice to hear your interview went well today! But disheartening to hear so few matches last month. We were really hoping for a match this summer....:-( Yep, take all those romantic weekends away now while you can. Also places you've been meaning to get to that aren't so child friendly, like Angkor. We visited friends in London for two weeks last summer, we had a wonderful time but I never saw a sight and I shopped just two short afternoons. We did play in loads of playgrounds and parks though :-)
Please support our advertisers:
Hi all. On one of the adoption threads here in Asiaxpat, someone had recommended three good books on adoption and now I can't just seem to find it. Am I blind?? Does anyone remember? Thanks
Please support our advertisers:
Jen did, above, 17 days ago. She's ahead of us on the books, I just ordered our first two, also well reviewed: Attaching in Adoption: Practical Tools for Today's Parents and LifeBooks : Creating a Treasure for the Adopted Child.
Please support our advertisers:
I AM DEFINITELY HALF BLIND!!! Thank you. Have to see aobut getting them. I also got the life treasure book but being honest haven't looked at it properly. It does seem nice though.
Please support our advertisers:
I have enjoyed reading this thread and I can understand the anticipation and excitment you all feel. I am a single female in my late 30's. I have been interested in adopting a child for some time now. I know single women are eligble in HK but I would like to hear from someone in the same situation who has adopted in HK. A few issues concern me: My employer will more than likely give me 6 weeeks maternity leave, from that point I would have to employ a helper to look after the child whilst I am work. I simply would not have another option.
Please support our advertisers:
Hi Jazzy--have your referees been interviewed yet? We have our individual interviews next week too, so we're tracking right along with you. Good luck on yours :-)
Hi Lilly, I hope a single adoptive parent answers your question above, I'm curious how it goes too. Yes, you're eligible, though it must be difficult (and what if you leave HK?)
Please support our advertisers:
Hey everyone,
Yup I recommended some books in this thread...they're all good and worth reading/keeping, IMO. I got some of them when I was in the States and some others I ordered from Amazon.
Jazzy67: how interesting that you and mythoughts are also due for individual interviews this week! Us too! At least, mine is this coming week and hubby's is a few days later. I think after that they see the referees and then arrange the home visit.
Mythoughts: where did you order your books from? I haven't heard of those two. Are they good?
Lilly: welcome to the board and good luck with your adoption. I have a colleague who's also single and waiting to adopt. She's almost at the end of the process, with just one more workshop to attend.
Bernadettway: how's the shopping going? :) Bought anything yet?
We attended the court hearing yesterday of a good friend's adopted daughter, where the whole thing was finalized and legalized and the baby's now theirs. At the hearing were three other couples, and I noticed that all the adopted babies were girls, ha ha! Of the four couples there, three were ethnic Chinese and one was a Caucasian couple who already had two biological children of their own. The court hearing was really short...basically all the judge said was one sentence and it was photo time! Well, hopefully one day soon it'll be our turn in there! :)
I'm going to start looking into hiring a maid soon. I figure I need some time to get used to her and vice versa, and it's probably best to get all these adjustments sorted out before bringing the baby home. Does anyone have any suggestions abotu where and how to start looking for a maid? Should we go to agents? Sigh...so many things to consider.
Please support our advertisers:
Lilly:
I know the candian women who adopted. She lives in DB and is still here. Here, her return was delayed. I am also single and went through half of the adoption process in HK (Social Welfare is wonderful in HK) but in the end decided to have my own with the help of a good Dr in HK.
I now have a wonderful healthy baby boy.
Please support our advertisers:
jazzy, I'm pretty sure they contact out of country referees by post not phone. Also, I found out last time that they normally only contact the two referees that have known you the longest.
Please support our advertisers:
yoga
19 yrs ago
Hi all, would any of you like to meet up for a coffee some afternoon so we can all chat? Don't know if anyone is interested. Jazzy67 and I are trying to do it as it would great to meet other Mums in the same situation and even some who have adopted already.Anyone else interested?
Please support our advertisers:
Jen, I always love your notes. It must have been wonderful, emotional even, to be part of your friends' final hearing with/for their daughter...
The two books I mentioned haven't arrived yet (Amazon), I'll let you know once I get a chance to get through them a bit. I'm reading "Raising Adoptive Children" by Lois Rusakai Melina now though and it's excellent. Should have read the whole section on telling your child about adoption BEFORE our workshop on it :-/. No romantic fantasy, just really grounded discussions and helpful thoughts.
You know, on hiring a maid, I used the asiaxpat postings (!) I think I interviewed 17 people, but I only interviewed ones whose employers GUSHED over them. I was looking for an expat leaving, not someone local who was making a change--somehow thought maybe I wouldn't get the real story there. We really have the perfect helper for us. The Wellcome market in Repulse Bay is usually a good source for postings too. We didn't bother with an agent so I can't say if that's a good route. Helpers all know how to handle the paperwork anyway. One thing I would say, if you find someone you like, make an offer straight away--the good ones are snatched right up.
So, I had my individual interview today. It was an hour and a half and really, very much as I expected. She reviewed my family relationships, what sort of parents I had and the things I learned from them, my educational backround, my employment history...it was nice. I really like her, though I think everyone is saying that about their caseworkers. So next it's referees and homevisit...Good luck on your interviews Jen and Jazzy :-)
Yoga, I'd be interested if you can pull something together. Not sure how convenient we are, I'm in Midlevels....
Please support our advertisers:
Hi all, it's been awhile since we chatted. Any updates on your respective processes? Jazzy67 and mythoughts, you both should just about be done with the home study too, right? Ours is completed and our case worker is writing her recommendation/report now, so we expect to be approved pretty soon. However, I have to go abroad for 4 weeks for work in May, so they can't match us until I come back to HK, as the requirement is that both adoptive parents need to be here during the matching process. Too bad! I'm so eager and can't wait to get my baby. Hopefully we will be matched during the summer, fingers crossed! Did you all read the Playtimes magazine this month, where the second part of the adoption experience was published? Good read. I showed the article to my case worker when she came to visit our home, and she said that her colleague had handled that case. :)
Woody, how long did you wait before you were matched with your little girl? Was she from Mothers Choice? Would you care to share your adoption experience (e.g. ups and downs, attachment/bonding) here with us? I'd love to know more from an adoptive mother's viewpoint.
Please support our advertisers:
Hi everyone--we had our home visit this morning and our last referee is being interviewed this afternoon so we're basically done and awaiting her write-up and approval now. She's only interviewing two of our referees btw, as dsabline noted above.
The home visit was straightforward, she took a look around, asked us where the baby would be sleeping, played a bit with our daughter--I think to get a sense of whether she seems happy and well adjusted--and then we spent the rest of the visit reviewing and discussing our child preference form.
Hi jazzy67, I nudged our social worker along, I e-mailed her last week and let her know that we'd scheduled an appointment with our pediatrician (to review the form) and were now available any time for the home visit. Then I followed up with a phone call a week later, she picked up and we scheduled for a few days after that (today). Maybe you could try something similar if things seem to be dragging on?
Also, my husband picked up last month's Playtimes at the magazine stand in IFC1 and I got the current one (free!) at the YWCA fair a couple of weeks ago. The articles were an enjoyable read--it's always nice to hear of other people's experiences and share their happiness--but there wasn't anything in there we hadn't already heard. PM me if you want ours, I'll drop them in the mail for you.
Woody, I'd love to hear more of your experience...would you share? And what do you think of the age spread between your two, 3 years, right? Ours will be 3 pretty soon, so that's probably about the age difference we'd have too. How did your son take to it all in the beginning?!!!
Please support our advertisers:
Woody--thank you SO much for writing such a descriptive, moving and honest story....very, very touching.
How did your son feel about having a new sister, and how did you prepare him for her? Do you have any insights about faciliting the transition for the first born?
Please support our advertisers:
Woody, oh my goodness, thanks so much for sharing your story! It was touching to read such an honest and moving description. Yes indeed, I believe that children strive well if they are brought up in the right environment. Sounds like your matching process was really quick...from approval in Dec 04 to getting a baby in Mar 05! I hope we get ours fast enough too!
Jazzy67, our home visit was scheduled during the interviews and it took place just a week later, and the two referees were seen a couple days after the visit, so all was done in a very short space of time. For some reason, our case worker seems really keen to approve us and get us into the matching pool as quickly as possible! She was quite disappointed when I told her I'd be abroad in May and thus have to delay the matching by a month.
Has anyone done any shopping for baby stuff yet? If you're interested (and not too fussed about name brands), Jusco has a pretty extensive range of baby stuff, and things are cheaper than Mothercare too, for example. They have sales regularly and I found the prices of their "Dr Brown" formula bottles cheaper than at Bumps to Babes and Mothercare. "Dr Brown" seems to be a good and popular choice, and a couple of my girlfriends recommend it.
By the way Woody, did you take maternity leave after adopting your daughter?
Please support our advertisers:
So you should be approved very soon Jen, that's great! Though I supposed it doesn't matter if you're gone the month of May....shame isn't it, with all the anticipation of awaiting a match.
Have you bought much/anything yet? People do love the Dr Brown bottles, though I think initially we'll continue with whatever our baby is using, to keep the changes to an absolute minimum (they'll be so many anyway).
How much time are you planning to take off? Or maybe you're planning to quit altogether ;-)
Bernadettway and yoga, how are you two doing?
Please support our advertisers:
Woody, great posts. Thanks for sharing.
Please support our advertisers:
Thank you Woody, you've written really thoughtfully and helpfully.
I've heard stories about some of the comments people make, some ignorant, some well meaning but still hurtful...it's good to be prepared for that. It will be more difficult (for me) once our child is old enough to understand what's been said, just hate the thought of a little one's feelings being hurt so callously.
One mum I know of, when asked the "how much" question, said "priceless". Perfect.
Please support our advertisers:
cd
19 yrs ago
It doesn't surprise me about Australia. If we decided to live there we would never get citizenship for our son as he is disabled, thats if they even let him move there in the first place. They are very discriminatory.
Please support our advertisers:
A follow-up to your comment on the age preference, Woody--in talking with our pediatrician, it became clear that many potential health issues aren't indicated until the second half of the first year, or later. So to the extent that one wants to reduce the number of unknowns, an older baby would be preferable.
Jazzy, news to me. Seems to be a reasonable bit of due diligence on their part--wonder how much time that adds?
Please support our advertisers:
CD, you mention difficulty in getting Australian citizenship if the child is disabled? What are the rules on this and what is considered a disability? I was under the impression that most of the children available have some kind of disability, health problems, or other problem. Could anyone explain what kind of things these usually are?
Please support our advertisers:
Oh good Jazzy, I was wondering how you were coming along. We're still waiting on our approval. It was supposed to be by mid-April but now looks like the end of the month. Apparently our case needs a higher approval level as we have a child already. And, we learned our caseworker is being reassigned to another unit, she's completed her 4 year cycle in Adoption, so we'll have someone new by May. It's a shame as we really like her, but it seems they're all good, except yours is SO DARN SLOW Jazzy!
Please support our advertisers:
Dear my thoughts!
Could/would you give me your email adress? A have a lot of questions about adoption in HK. I 'm just looking after all information because we we'll move to HK in june (from Singapore) We would like to begin the adoptions immeditely.I'm just not perfect with this asiaXpat.com I really don't know how does it work. I also try to find information about IVF and dentist and everything. I just don't know anybody there. Thank you very much!!!!!!! my mail : meyers@pacific.net.sg
Please support our advertisers:
Hi Eva, I just sent you a note. Welcome to HK :-)
Please support our advertisers:
Hi jazzy67,
We got our approval recently and are all set! The only thing is we can't be matched until June after I return to HK from a business trip. I've been impressed by the speed and efficiency of the SWD as well as their thoroughness in checking everything. Just hope we'll get our baby in a couple of months! Yeah, I agree with My Thoughts that your case worker does seem rather slow. Or maybe it's the referee check that takes time? Ours were all in HK so they were scheduled for interviews within a day of each other.
Have just begun the process of getting a DH from the Philippines. Did a phone interview with her and it seemed to go well...so I'm hoping that my gut instincts prove correct and the DH turns out good! Everyone says it's by the stroke of luck, really. There's no perfect DH and no perfect employer anyway. I guess what matters most is getting someone who fits into your particular household and is dependable and honest. I do have a question regarding DH which I will post on the DH thread later.
Eva, welcome to HK! Are you planning to try IVF too? You wrote that you'd like to begin adoption process immediately. It's probably too stressful to handle both simultaneously.
Please support our advertisers:
Hi Jazzy 67! The true story is I have a daughter 2,8 years old . She was on breastfeeding for 2 years and I haven't have my period during this time. So we have been trying for the next baby since about 7 month. All my test were done (exvellent results IVF would be the 2. option)I'm fit and healty but still 39!! I became pregnant with my daugther immediately so for me was no doubt to have the 2. one. It's just not happened. I'm abosolutely depressed. Now I don't have the time to wait.Either biologically child or adopted no time. In Europe the adoption just forget it..
That's my situation. I found this topic very interesting and helpfull .!!!!!
Can somebody answer me how long does it take to adopt a child? From the first step and than holding the baby-toddler? I now is sometimes different but us an average.
We 'll move to HK first week in June. To Middle East area.
Sorry about my English this is just my 3th foreign languages and I'm working on it a lot!
Is it stressful but I don't have other choise. New doctors new hospitals you now guys how does it works...
Please support our advertisers:
of cours how does it work!!:o)))
Please support our advertisers:
I have a question but not concerning adoption: I heard and read about the air pollution in HK how bad is it really? Here (Singapore)in a newspaper was told one breath= 6 smoked cigarettes? Is it really so bad?
Please support our advertisers:
Hi Eva,
The pollution in HK is bad, and on some days more so than others. It would be advisable to avoid areas like Mongkok and Causeway Bay if possible, although having said that, these two are probably the most crowded places I've seen in HK!
There are several hospitals where IVF is done, and if you go to a public hospital (e.g. Queen Mary and Prince of Wales) you also have the option of doing the treatment as a private patient. The HK Sanatorium also does IVF. Private fees cost a lot but if you're pressed for time, you should explore that avenue. The queue for IVF in the public hospitals as a public patient is very long and you could be waiting up to two years to start treatment. I did IVF privately in Queen Mary under Prof. Ho and his excellent team several years ago. Didn't work for me though, as I have severe endometriosis.
The adoption process in HK on average takes about 9-12 months, I think. This is from the beginning when you submit the forms until the day you bring the baby home. From the matching day until baby comes home you have a window of about 2 weeks. I have friends who got their baby within about 4-5 months after submitting the form. A lot also depends on your family circumstances and what you want. Baby girls are in high demand here in HK, special needs kids are difficult to place and so are older children.
For someone who's using English as her 3rd language you're doing pretty good! :) Where are you from?
My Thoughts, how were those books that you ordered? Several friends highly recommended Gina Ford's Contented Little Baby book too, which I'm reading now. Does anyone here have anything to share about this book? I don't think I'll follow everything she suggests, but on the whole her ideas seem pretty good and sensible. I guess for a first-timer like me, I have no previous experience to base on so I tend to trust the books!
Please support our advertisers:
suem
19 yrs ago
Dear All,
I've been enjoying so much with your mails. We also are thinking in adoption but not yet contact SWD. I've got a couple of questions that may be you can help: we are not a married couple, do you think this can be a conflict to get a baby? and the other thing is that I'm in HK for 2 years but my boyfriend arrived one year ago: would it be any issue for this? Tks for your help!!!
Please support our advertisers:
Hi Jen--I'm so sorry to be this slow replying to you. We were out of town on holiday and since then I've been a blur of activity getting ready for our daughter's (very small) 3rd birthday. I have a lot to say about books too, so I wanted to have a few minutes to answer properly. I've got 3 adoption related books now: "Raising Adopted Children" by Lois Ruskai Melina, "Attaching in Adoption" by Deborah Grey, and "Lifebooks" by Beth O'Malley. The first is excellent, I've read it cover to cover and have xeroxed loads of pages as I've borrowed the book and will need to return it. One of the bigger take-aways for me was that the early days with your new child should be as similar to what they know as absolutely possible...same schedule, same bottle, same formula, same clothing, even same laundry detergent..there will be so many changes anyway that trying to keep alot the same will help them ease into their new enviroment. This was something I hadn't thought about, but makes a lot of sense to me especially as I think back to how aware our daughter was in the early months and how much she was affected by (any) changes.
The second, Attaching in Adoption, is a very practical guide to improving attachment, respect, cooperation, trust and caring in the family. Complicated situations are treated as the rule, yet the underlying theme is very positive. There's a lot in this book, it promises to be a valuable reference tool for us for many years.
The third, "Lifebooks", is warm and wonderful. It is all about creating a treasure of memories and history for the adopted child--something that's presented as all important to helping build a connection with their past and a grounding with their forever family. This book really reasonates with me, so much so that I'm working on a "lifebook" for our biological daughter as well :-)
And on just basic baby care--I have several Gina books and find them useful mostly as a guide to what sort of schedule is appropriate at what age. (I also found her potty training book really helpful.) Lots of people are Gina fans, I'm not really. And with our adopted child, we'll place comfort and attachment as higher priorities than a strict Gina person would. If you'd like another suggestion, I absolutely LOVE Penelope Leach's "Your Baby and Child". Warm, practical, nurturing, helps one see the child's perspective and respond as a caring parent. I ordered it from www.paddyfield.com
Oh, and we've been approved! So now we're in the queue (so to speak) ...the next matching committee is May 11 but we're expecting it'll still take months....
Please support our advertisers:
Hi Jazzy--it took a month, just about exactly, from our home visit to our approval. It was a little longer than she expected, we needed a second level of approval as we already have a child.
Get your friends to write those letters!!!!
Please support our advertisers:
We do have a helper Jazzy, she joined us the day we came home from the hospital with our daughter, so almost exactly 3 years ago. She's fabulous, we're very fortunate. She was posted on Asiaxpat, in fact, and her employer reference was glowing.
Our social worker couldn't really say now long it'd be--seems to be completely a matter of matching our child preference form with the children available, and, all things being equal, preferring to place a child with a local family, an ethnically Chinese family or a family without any children....so, all things being equal, we're pretty low in the priorities. But the child preference form carries a lot of weight. Have YOU heard any indication of timeframe?
Please support our advertisers:
We've a new social worker now, our original has finished her 4 year "term" in the Adoption Unit and has moved on and our new one has just come in to Adoption. We went down to meet her today and of course she's very nice.
But, to answer your question Jazzy, there were just 4 babies in last Thursday's matching panel (11 May) and all were matched with local (Chinese) families. She said there're fewer babies available now than a few years ago and a correspondingly higher proportion of the babies/children have physical or mental challenges.
She wouldn't give us a timeframe, it all has to do with our child preference form and the fact that they prefer an ethnically similar match.
By the way, Jen, my "Attaching in Adoption" book is really really good. Now that I'm digging into it, it's hard to put down. Loads and loads of good things to know and to think about.
Anyone see any more progress on their application?
Please support our advertisers:
Hi Jazzy--
I just heard from a friend of mine who was matched 11 May to a darling little boy of 6 mo. But they're gweilo's, so whatever my caseworker said wasn't accurate about that matching session (being all local families). My friend has two biological children and their match took something like 5 mo.
When my friends were first approved, their caseworker said they should be matched by Feb...obviously they weren't, but it makes me wonder if it's not better for them to be vague. I mean, SWD can't know for sure, so maybe it's better not to set expectations that can't be met?
Please support our advertisers:
Hi everyone--
I spoke with our caseworker, there was only ONE child matched in the last session (25 May), a little boy of 7 mo who was matched with a Chinese couple. The next session is this Thurs (8 June) but she didn't have any information about it yet.
Just thought some might be interested...
Please support our advertisers:
cd
19 yrs ago
Somebody I know got a 3 month old boy just under a month ago.
Please support our advertisers:
Hey everyone,
We got matched with a 3 mth old baby girl at the latest panel on June 7!!!! Baby is healthy and normal. Frantically busy now getting everything ready to prepare for her homecoming. Gosh, I couldn't believe how quickly we were matched...I wasn't quite expecting it to happen so soon and thus the 'nursery' is very bare, haha. Will update again when I have time...which is a commodity that I think be a thing of the past from now on! :)
Please support our advertisers:
Oh Jen, CONGRATULATIONS!!!! Such fantastic news. I have the biggest grin on my face :-) I was thinking you must be back from your month away and was wondering how you were doing....well, excellent. Can't wait to hear more.
Please support our advertisers:
yoga
19 yrs ago
WOW! That is such wonderful news, delighted to hear you got your baby. I have been reading all of your posts and so happy to see it has all worked out for you. Just out of interest are you a local Chinese couple or is one of you Chinese? The reason I am asking is that I hear it makes a big difference and being Chinese would make you a priority. Just curious. Thanks and enjoy your arrival of your baby girl...so, so exciting!
Please support our advertisers:
Hi all,
Thanks for your notes of congratulations. Yeah, we're elated and over the moon. Our baby girl is totally adorable and cute as a button! Of course, that's probably also my maternal pride kicking in right away and I'm already biased, haha.
Yoga, hubby and I are both ethnic Chinese. It probably does place us higher up on the list although I do know that Caucasians are also matched...it depends on the criteria that you put down on the forms. Best of luck to all those still waiting to be matched - you will get your baby soon, and be sure to let us know when you do!
More later!
Please support our advertisers:
Hi all,
I'm new here. Congratulations to those who had their dreams come true and become parents. My wife and I had tried a no. of IVF but failed. Now, we're planning to adopt a baby here in HK. We're local and can anyone kindly tell us how long will be the process starting from filling the adoption application to actually have a baby home? We're opened to adopt one or two or even twins. Do you think it will shorten the process time or it doesn't matter? Do you know there is support group / chat room for parents who adopt children here in HK? Can anyone of you leave me email so that I can contact just in case I run into problem in the adoption process? That's all for now. Thank you very much for all your kind attention.
Please support our advertisers:
Hi jazzy67,
Thanks very much for your info. Yes, we're local Chinese. Just one quick question, in the questionaire questions "child care arrangement". If I put down "employ domestic helper", will I get lower priority than those put down "raise by themselves"? Or it doesn't matter?
Please support our advertisers:
Hi Jazzy67, thanks very much for your advices.
Please support our advertisers:
Hi Tenniswarrior--
Yes, they like the helper thing (who wouldn't?) but they're quite happy that our helper is our housekeeper and not our nanny and that I am dedicated to raising our child(ren). They aren't asking you to give away the parental role and responsiblity of loving, caring for and raising your child. Committed parenting is an important part of the attachment process, something (apparently)to be very aware of with adopted children.
It's nice you're open to sibling pairs or twins. With sibling pairs, one at least is likely to be older, so it may be really worthwhile for you to do some reading on that. I've just finished an absolutely fabulous and extremely helpful book called "Attaching in Adoption" by Deborah Grey...if you are a book type, this is an excellent one and deals extensively with issues older children bring. Spontanious twins are very rare in the Chinese population, so your openness on that probably won't make a difference. Seems they only pop up once every 2-3 years...
This last matching session (22 June) saw one baby girl matched with a local family and another baby under consideration. Jen, at the session before (8 June), you were the only family to be matched...extra congratulations :-)
Please support our advertisers:
Hi my thoughts, thanks very much for your advices. Just another question, do you have any ideas what the social workers would ask during individual interview and also the interview for the referee?
Please support our advertisers:
Hi TennisWarrior
There were no surprises for us during the interviews....ours spent the joint interview trying to get to know us as a couple and our thoughts on integrated (mixed race) families, and the individual interviews trying to understand how we were raised, what kind of a home life we had, how close we are now to our family now, what we might incorporate or do differently from how we were raised--basically how we plan to raise our child. My husband was married before, so she focussed quite a bit on what why his first marriage didn't last and what is different now. She only interviewed two of our three referrees. For the referree interviews, she explored how well they knew us as a couple and as parents (we have a 3 y.o. biological daughter) what kind of parents we are, and if our referrees have any hesitation at all about our desire to adopt--that is, would our family be a good place for a child.
Good luck :-) It's exciting, isn't it?
Please support our advertisers:
Hi Everyone.
I have enjoyed reading about your experiences and responses and log on regularly to catch up on your lives. I posted a reply a few months ago asking about adoption as a single parent. I have my introductory meeting coming up. As a single woman I know I have a long journey ahead of me. (way down there on the listI am sure I will have lots of questions along the way. Jazzy67 and mythoughts I hope you don't mind me asking endless questions???? Would love to be updated on your news too.
Please support our advertisers:
Hi everyone,
Welcome to Tenniswarrior! The adoption process varies and can be anything from 3 mths to a year, depending on several factors but most importantly whether there are babies available that match your criteria. My husband and I are local Chinese too and we got matched on June 8, four months after the application started. And the 4 mths includes starting the application, interviews, attending workshops, home visit, waiting for approval etc. So in our case I would say it was very quick...much faster than we anticipated and we were rushing around to get stuff after we had been matched! My thoughts, there were actually two babies matched at the June 7 panel. Besides our little girl, there was also a baby boy matched to a couple whom we had met at the workshops.
Our baby is delightful and growing everyday. She turns 3 mths tomorrow and already I can see her little personality taking shape. She's totally adorable and has a very sweet nature, smiles a lot and loves to coo, make eye contact and observe things. She's very alert and I think (not wanting to sound biased) she's going to be one smart kid. :) She feeds well and loves to sleep, I'm so fortunate! She sleeps through the night from midnight to about 9am and has been on this routine ever since we brought her home. We've all bonded very well with her and it's amazing to just watch her different expressions. She really is very entertaining, I have to say! :)
Jazzy67, the approval is formally done through a letter. If I remember correctly our case worker called us too, to let us know that the letter would be sent out.
Please support our advertisers:
We were approved in 4 mo, just about to the day (from time of application submission to approval), but since early May have been awaiting a match. So you see the difference between locals and expats, they really do prefer a racially comperable match.
Jazzy, our social worker called to tell us when we were approved and the letter arrived the next day. Good luck to you, sounds like you should hear any day now.
Please support our advertisers:
Hi everyone,
Thank you so much for answering my queries.
It's great to read all the valuable info. and the adoption experiences from each of you. It's very discouraging after my wife and I failed in so many IVFs, but there is still hope for us to raise kids thru' adoption, maybe this is God's plan for my wife and I.
Good luck to all of you.
Please support our advertisers:
Hi Tenniswarrior,
I totally understand your/your wife's situation as I went through the same thing myself several years ago. With severe endometriosis, multiple surgeries and two failed IVF attempts, I was ready to give up and just enjoy life as a twosome with my husband. However, God had other plans, I guess! We're now proud new parents of an adopted baby girl whom we love more than anything or anyone else. I didn't realize it was possible to love a tiny human being so much until I held our baby in my arms for the very first time. The feeling is indescribable. It was like, wow...she's mine, my very own child! :) Good luck to you and journey strong. I am sure that you will be matched with a baby soon enough. Have you called the SWD and gone through the preliminary phone assessment yet?
Please support our advertisers:
Hi jen1812,
Thanks for your encouragement and support. We just received the formal application form last Friday. We're going to fill it out today or tomorrow. So, when the SWD will call us? After receiving the application form?
I'm sure this is a wonderful experience to be parents, we're so glad for you and your husband. Thanks again.
Please support our advertisers:
Hi Everyone--
Seems there were more successful matches this last session (July 6)--seven babies were placed, 4 girls and 3 boys, all to Chinese families my social worker said. Love to hear from any of the lucky parents!
And for those of us who haven't been matched yet, it's encouraging to see some better numbers.
Please support our advertisers:
Hi Jazzy--
No, she's not saying anything about what to expect. I did learn this last time I talked with her that there are 24 Chinese families awaiting a match, and 31 foreigners...so lots of people waiting and lots ahead of us with the preference to place a Chinese child with a Chinese family.
These were all young babies, 2-10 mo.
Sometimes I call her, sometimes she calls me. We have a new social worker though, as the woman who took us through the approval process got relocated away from the adoption unit. So I HAVE initiated calls, I'd like us to be more "real" in her mind than a pile of papers.
Good luck Jazzy, I hope you hear really soon. You've been waiting a long time, I know.
Please support our advertisers:
Daizy
19 yrs ago
Hi, we started our application process in May 04 and got approved late November. Three weeks later we got a call that we had been matched with a baby and he was 2 months old. So we went and saw our son and brough him home 2 days later. Our case worker was fantastic and we were her last case she got transfered to some other unit. Our son is now 21 months old and in perfect health. He is such a sweetheart. We wanted to adopt a girl but after attending the trainings we couldn't say no to a boy or girl so we were flexible and I wouldn't trade my boy for any other baby :)
Please support our advertisers:
It's nice to hear your experience Daizy :-) It's funny, often one thinks they have a gender preference, and then when they actually have a baby that's THEIRS, that they fall in love with, gender is a mute point...I've heard that again and again with my friends, both with biological and adopted children.
You were matched really quickly Daizy, are you Chinese, or foreigners?
Hi Jazzy, yeah, well, I've heard that the YOUNGEST a child can be matched is 42 days (6 weeks), something to do with the relinquishment procedure. So for me, perfect would be 43 days :-) We'll see. Hope you hear very soon, waiting so long is hard.
I heard that today's matching panel (July 20) saw 3 baby girls matched, ranging in age from 2-7 mo. One was matched with a Chinese family, and 2 were matched with mixed (Chinese and foreigner)families. There were 4 other children who weren't successfully matched, 2 were older and 2 had more difficult backgrounds.
Please support our advertisers:
jaims
18 yrs ago
This has been a fabulous thread to read through and I'd love to hear any advice or opinions that any of you might have for me. My husband and I, with our 6-yr old daughter (she's our biological child) moved to HK about a month ago on a 3-yr assignment. We've been thinking on and off about having a second child for about a year now and all of our discussions on this topic have ended with both of us agreeing that we would love to adopt an older child in the 3 to 8 yrs old range. Our daughter is also reacting very positively to this possibility and whenever she is asked if she has siblings, she very excitedly tells them that we might be adopting a brother or sister for her.
My question is, given that you are required to have resided in HK for 18 months before your adoption application is approved, then there is the waiting time to be matched, plus the 6 months after you bring your child home before it becomes final, is our 3 year stint in HK too short for our application to be considered? We are Australian citizens but ethnically Korean. It sounds like we would be in a low-priority category.
And if adopting a HK child isn't a possibility, does anyone have any info on adopting from other countries while living in HK?
Please support our advertisers:
Daizy
18 yrs ago
Hi everyone! I was just reading the whole thread again and its so much fun going through it. I just love it. Let me tell you our story.
My husband and I are not Chinese but we lived in mainland china for many many years. You might think we are an older couple, but we are not (turned 28 today). We moved to Hong Kong in Jan 04, and sometime in March I called the SWD to get information about adoption. The lady told me that we had to stay in HK for at least 18 months, for some reason that frustrated the hell out of me and I asked to give me a good reason why? She said she would talk to her manager and call me back. So she called me back and said the reason is so that you get familiar with Hong Kong resources. I asked what that meant? She said you know the hospitals and stuff, I replied I am familiar, can I apply for the adoption process now? I had no intention of starting procedures immediately, I just got mad because they said I had to wait, so it turned out as a challange.
I don't remember what happened next but I might have spoken to someone else and explained that we had been living in china and that HK is a part of china and that my husband travelled to HK frequently and miraculously they asked us to attend the trainings :) hurray!!! We got in :)
So from May to November we completed all the steps and three weeks after our final approval we got a call about the cutest boy on earth who was 2 months old. His foster family lived in Fo Tan. They had 3 or 4 other foster babies before our son, the lady was Malaysian and her husband was from Hong kong, so we spoke Mandarin, everything went very smoothly.
The HK side of the adoption was very effecient, the US side took forever. We did the court hearing last July and we got our son's US passport in April. If you are a US citizen and want to apply for a US passport for your adopted child, it is very tricky. I followed all the steps and got the passport and then received a letter saying that he doesnt have a certificate of citizenship and a new door full of problems opened. Anyway, I won't bore you with that :)
We have travelled the world with our 22 month old, we have been to Singapore, Houston, Alaska, Beijing, Dubai, India, Kuwait and Hawaii. We will go to Taiwan end of this month for a week. On some flights he sleeps like a little hawk and on others he is a terror.
If you guys do meet up, please let me know. I would love to meet adoptive parents. I think its important for our children when they grow up to know that their families had other adoptive family friends from the country they are from.
Please support our advertisers:
Daizy
18 yrs ago
Just wanted to add a couple of more things:
Before moving to a 3bedroom apartment last May, we lived on Hollywood road in a two bedroom apartment. It wasn't really a two bedroom, more like 1 bedroom and a closet room. Our case worker suggested/asked if we would move to a bigger place. At that time I didn't have a definit answer to that. I also didn't have a full time maid and never intended to get one. I was honest and told her I have a part time maid, she said something like its not legal but didn't press the issue. I wasn't working and the house was clean (I hope). I only got a maid few months ago. There is a list of requirements and it, it says something like the house should be very strong with a roof, they had very basic things listed so I am suprised if they made a fuss over not having a helper.
Also wanted to say that its wonderful reading all your posts, so excited for all of you who are waiting to be matched and congratulations to those have already adopted. This is a unique group of people with wide horizons and to have a lady pilot onboard is the cherry on top :)
Please support our advertisers:
Daizy
18 yrs ago
After getting approved I didn't buy anything but I did a lot of window shopping. I found a very good shop with good prices and kept it in mind so when we finally met our baby I knew how old he was and then I started to shop. I immediatly bought the essentials e.g baby crib, bottles, diapers and clothes.
We didn't have a preference over gender, we said whatever baby is available and the age we gave was new born to 10 months or so. HOpe this helps.
Please support our advertisers:
Congratulations Jazzy :-) Wow, such welcome news for you. I think you can pretty safely buy a crib and get room blackening drapes/shades for the nursery....the rest of it (carseat, buggy, baby bjorn, clothes, diapers, bottles, bathtub, etc.) well, age will impact those decisions. But as Daisy said, window shopping and keeping note of what you see where and the prices of things, will make it all much more efficient when you ARE matched. When that happens you'll be wanting to spend as much time getting to know your baby and his/her care and won't be so interested in schelping throught the stores. You'll safely have 2 weeks from the time you're matched until you're expected to bring your baby home, that might be enough for you on the helper front. Although certain times of year see more helpers available than others (Summer is good with expats leaving)
Sorry Jaims, I saw your note a few days ago but things have been a bit of a whirlwind around here. I think three years gives you plenty of time to adopt here though, even if you aren't able to talk your way into an exception like persuasive Daizy was (nice work Daizy!) I would certainly talk with SWD about how to best get into the queue so that you're actually ready to go the moment you've been here 18 mo, assuming you'd have to wait per the policy. Minimally, you'd want to get the introductory workshop out of the way and get started on, or at least prepared to start, the application. My husband and I were quite motivated on this, so we got our application done, attachments and all, in a weekend. And then we got into the very next set of (2) workshops, but still had to wait 6 weeks for those. I think we zipped through that part of the process about as quickly as possible. Although yours might go yet more quickly as most of the activity is with placing very young babies. So they might be quite happy to process an application for an older child quickly, especially if there are older children who are appropriate for you.
I wanted to suggest two books for you Jaims--I may have mentioned them above--but they are both really really good, and, importantly, they address issues that one should be prepared for with adopting an older child: "Attaching in Adoption" (Deborah Gray) and "Raising Adopted Children" (Lois Ruskai Melina) Even if you aren't a reader-type, I think these two books would be well worth your time. There are some really beautiful stories of older children joining established families and it would be very special if that were also your family's experience. Attaching in Adoption is also a good reminder of the kinds of (outside) support that may be necessary so that this is indeed a successful and wonderful thing for all members of the family.
Now for OUR news, which will explain why I didn't come forward with the stats from the last matching panel--WE were matched! To a 3 mo old little boy who is darling. We've only just been able to see him, so twice now. But I have a question for all of you who've taken a baby home....how long did it feel like the child you were matched with, was meant to be YOURS? He is very sweet, and very happy to be held, fed, bathed, dressed, rocked, cuddled, etc. by us....but I don't feel a "connection", at least as yet. Is that to be expected? My husband almost wonders if perhaps he's not the "right" match for us. I'm sort of inclined to think it's OK for these things to take time....but I would love to hear others experiences. Both the love-at-first sight experiences, as well as any others.
And, since we were in this session, I don't know how many others were matched, sorry!
Please support our advertisers:
Congratulations My Thoughts!
My introductory meeting is on Monday. I recently approached my boss at work and discussed my plans to adopt. I assumed that I would be eligible for maternity leave but I was concerned about the "3 months notice" clause. However my boss was not even sure whether I would even be eligible for maternity leave (she is in the process of finding out). Does anyone have experiences with employers and their position on adoption/maternity leave? I reread this thread and noticed that Woody did not get maternity leave. She does work in a male dominated industry. I work in a female dominated workplace. This concerns me because as a single parent I would like to be the sole carer at the beginning. I would definately employ a helper once I go back to work. My only option would be to ask my mother to stay for a month or so as I would feel better with family involved. Hopefully the news will be good!
This thread is now officially bookmarked on my computer!
Please support our advertisers:
Daizy
18 yrs ago
Congratulaaaaations my thoughts!! Warm welcome on the other side of adoption.
Oh boy oh boy.. the first time I saw our son.. well let me tell you in detail. We arrived at our foster parents home, the door opened and I got a glimpse of the baby. The baby's head was extremely flat on one side and it totally threw me back. From the moment I entered that house (the best way I can describe it is) as if I was called into the principles office because I was into some type of trouble that I couldn't get out of. I was so nervous it was crazy. So we spent some time at the foster home and they kept asking us what we thought of the baby and I guess they wanted us to say he was wonderful and we are very very happy, i just needed a chance to breath and take in what just happened :) I don't think I had really seen a Chinese baby that young ever before, he had really cute tear drop eyes and to imagine that he is mine it was all very over whelming. My husband and I went outside the apartment for 5 minutes just to take it all in, we went back in and the plan was for us to take him home for a while and then to a pediatrition for a check up. So the journey from Fan lin to Central was pretty long, we came home, I gave him milk, he didn't fuss or cry, to me he seemed so strong, confident and I was the weak one who was so nervous and scared. We took him to the doctor, gave him a check up everything went smoothly, then had to take the train back to fanlin.. I guess on the ride home when I was talking to my husband he seemed more confident than me and he told me he liked the baby that I started to relax a bit, somewhere then we decided/confirmed/slapped ourselves that this is it and this baby will be ours. I dropped him off at the foster home, she asked me if I wanted to visit the next day, I said no it was too far but I will come back and pick him up the day after tomorrow. The next day I went and bought a crib and bunch of stuff and the day after we brought the baby home. After bringing the baby home, thats when I began to relax and chill and play mommy and soon those feelings grew and they never stop not growing.
mythoughts, please keep us updated :) its an incredible journey.
Please support our advertisers:
CONGRATULATIONS, My Thoughts!!!!!!! Oh wow, this is fantastic news and I'm so happy for you!! We were in this journey together at around the same time, so it's great that you got matched not long after us too!! :)
For us since we have no biological children prior to adopting, we were completely open to the baby right from the start. Hubby and I are Christians and we began praying for the child as soon as we began the adoption process, and I journaled as often as I could, and I'm intending to give my daughter this journal/keepsake one day when she's old enough to understand and appreciate it. For me, I already loved my baby before we even got her. The day we saw our baby for the very first time, hubby and I were both excited and nervous - that's so natural, isn't it? I mean, you're going to be seeing your child for the very first time and you have no idea at all what she's like! We went to Mother's Choice and when the worker carried her into the room, I took one glance at the baby and tears came into my eyes. It was instant love, in my case, and for my husband too. We just totally, completely, absolutely loved our baby from that moment, and we're still besotted with her! :) Initially we had planned to spend 2 hours at Mother's Choice that first day, but after hubby left for work, I couldn't bring myself to leave so I ended up staying half the day. I fed, bathed and cradled my baby that first day, savoring the delights of finally being a mother. It was an awesome and in some ways indescribable feeling, one which I will never forget. We brought the baby home after a week, but in the meantime we went to see her everyday. Having her home the first night was so funny, we were so elated and dazed by the fact that we HAD a baby in our home that we just kept sitting next to her cot and looking at her while she slept. :) Needless to say, she fit in right away, without a doubt.
Adopting a baby is the best thing that's happened to us and we feel extremely blessed that God has given us this precious baby. I know no one's perfect but to me, our baby is perfect, haha. Our social worker has been amazed at the baby's growth and development during her monthly home visits, and she remarked that it seemed like it was meant to be. I guess it truly was.
Keep us posted on your news! I am so excited for you!
Hope all the rest of you who are still waiting to be matched get your babies soon! I know from our social worker that in recent months there have been increasing numbers of babies available and matched successfully.
Please support our advertisers:
Hi everyone--I really appreciate all of your good wishes and love reading of the early reactions of others. Woody and Daizy, I can completely relate to what you've said, yet it's pretty clear that my husband was hoping for an experience (exactly) like Jen's. We're Christian too Jen, and, the odd thing is that for many many months, our nightly prayer is not only that we'd be matched with the "right" baby for us, but also that we'd "know" it immediately, no questions. But neither of us can say that at this point with any sort of conviction. The only thing is that we got the phone call on the same day and within 2 hours of some other exciting news for our family. Which is sort of an odd coincidence and of course it makes us wonder--but it hasn't created a special "connection" with the baby.
Meanwhile, we've been spending time with him each day and have brought him home twice now for home visits. Our daughter has taken the whole thing completely in stride, has come up with a cute game she plays with him, and wonders why he's been going back to the orphanage in the evenings instead of staying in mummy and daddy's room.
I'm quite sure I would have a strong attachment with a little time (maternal instincts and all:-), but we need to have shared confidence in that...it's all so strange. And he's really a darling little boy, SO much easier than our daughter was. He'd give anyone loads of confidence in their parenting skills :-)
And Lilly Pilly, it's really nice to hear you're moving forward! Good luck in your interview. I'm pretty sure there's no legislated maternity leave in HK for adoptive mothers...which is really crummy. So companies with forward thinking global benefits packages will include leave for adoptive parents even when they don't actually have to in HK, and many (most) do not. You can always try to carry over unused holiday time from this year, add that to next year's holiday time, maybe try to claim some unused sick leave. Some benefits plans even allow you to "buy" additional holiday days. The better thing would be if yours had a standing provision already, good luck with that.
Please support our advertisers:
Congratulations Jen & mythoughts. I haven't seen this thread in a while so I was happy to see that you have both been matched.
Mythoughts, I would not worry that your attachment takes a while. With our first daughter I was caught very off-guard by my lack of immediate bonding with her. I guess I thought it should be "love at first sight" but it took a few visits for me. As a christian too, I firmly believe that God is in control of the matching process so I didn't really have any doubts. That being said, my husband was instantly in love with her and I wondered if something was wrong with me. I was pretty nervous as she was our first child. The first day he had to go back to work and I went back to see her for the afternoon by myself. I was very nervous. But it didn't take too many visits seeing her face and hearing her cooing at me for me to fall in love too. Our second daughter was love at first sight for me. The jury's still out on the next one...we are in the process of applying for #3. Although I think our social worker thinks were crazy for wanting three children, we should be approved by next month. I'm glad to hear that more people have been matched lately. That's good news. We'll be pretty far down on the list once we're approved as caucasians with two children already.
Jazzy, congrats on getting approved. Sounds like it was a long haul for you. I hope you won't have to wait too long now. I'm so surprised that they told you that you have to hire a helper. Is that a new policy? We did not have a helper until 8 months after we adopted our second daughter.
Please support our advertisers:
Daizy
18 yrs ago
jazzy67 I have hired a full time helper through asiaxpat itself.
mythoughts, i remember asking myself after meeting our son for the first time "I have been preparing myself all these months, I was very sure of myself, I can't believe why I am feeling so nervous". I think adopting for the first time because it is your first time things go a bit unexpected but after bringing the baby home everything falls into place.
Please support our advertisers:
Daizy
18 yrs ago
I bought my baby cot,mattress for $700 and they threw in a baby blanket, sheets and bumper from a small store near Kennedy town. It is run by a local couple and they have everything for infant babies. They were very kind and suggested some practical stuff for me to buy.
This whole helper issue just doesn't make sense. Can you talk to someone else about it from the SWD? We got our helper when our son was 16 or 17 months, so he knew exactly who his mom and dad were when she joined. My husband travelled a lot but my case worker didn't make a big deal out of it. If they still insist you can hire a part time legal helper for sometime or tell the SWD that you will hire a part time helper when the baby arrives.
Please support our advertisers:
Daizy
18 yrs ago
jazzy 67:) isn't that a great deal. I happen to have their name card. Its called Ah Chi Co and its on 38 eastern street, groundfloor, sai ying poon tel 25596730. I saw the same bed in Jusco and it was a couple hundred dollars more expensive and ofcourse it didn't include the bedding. The only difference between their baby cot and the ones in the fancy shops is that those are wider and these are more asian sized. Tell them I sent you :)
I have a friend who went through an agent to hire a Chinese part time helper, she pays 50$ an hour. They usually aren't filipino but Chinese. I don't know if that would be a problem for you. She seemed pretty happy, according to her there are many such agencies, so I guess these helpers have work permits and don't need to be employed by one person like the filipinos.
Please support our advertisers:
You know Jazzy....all this stuff about helpers is true, loads of mums in other countries manage (some extremely well) without helpers, you really want and need your child's primarly bond to be with you, the parents, etc., but, I'd have to say, it is is really really nice and helpful to have a good helper. I'm an american, and we just love to DIY (every self respecting american has a toolbox, WITH power tools :-). And I am a total hands-on mum, rarely leave our daugher with my helper. For us, she's not a nanny (and she's not educated to be one) she's an outstanding housekeeper. Which is really nice to have. It means the food quality/preparation in our house (and our daughter's diet and willingness to try foods) is far better than it would be if I were the one on kitchen duty, our house and laundry are clean and don't stress me, and I am able to spend my days with our daughter and with the freedom of mind to plan things that develop her imagination, skills and confidence appropriately.
When she was first toddling (and falling everywhere) it was nice to have someone around who could spot her while I was taking a shower, otherwise she'd have been stuck in a playpen. It means I can leave the house while she's napping and do the grocery shopping or get my hair cut or go to the doctor's. A helper may not be necessary, but is sure is convenient. If you take care of your child's basic needs, you carry her, you feed her, you bath her, you take care of bedtimes and bumps and bruises and read and play with her....your child will attach to you, you don't need to worry unnecesarily about that.
It's nice that household help (even part time) is much more affordable here than it is in most other places in the world. Just find someone who is good at, and wants to do, the things you want her to be doing.
Please support our advertisers:
I'd forgotten you were Canadian Jazzy, you guys are probably yet more DIY than your neighbors to the south :-)
There was a post somewhere on this forum a while back about the live-out question, and someone responded with a quote taken from the immigration website....It may be newer legislation, but at any rate, it's apparently NOT legal for foreign domestic workers to live out. Of course it's done, and it is more expensive as you need to cover the helper's rooming costs in addition to their salary.
Ages ago, when we first moved to HK, we had a live out helper who'd been living out since she came to HK some 12 years before. What she had me do was complete the contract for her living with us, and then a week or so after it was approved, send a letter to immigration stating that due to a mutually agreeable change in circumstances she was now going to be living xxxx and that we were paying her rent. We both signed the letter. Never heard back, so I guess that was acceptable then. It'd be helpful if someone else had any more recent live-out experience that's acceptable to immigration.
Of course the foreign domestic helper legislation does not apply to someone who's not working under a foreign domestic worker visa, i.e. a local hire. The YWCA was doing a maid training program a while back (maybe they still are) to prepare local maids for employment with expats. They might be able to help if that was the direction you wanted to go.
Please support our advertisers:
Do It Yourself :-) (maybe a UK term?) We've been here 6 years, well, 6 for me, 7 for hubby, he came before he was hubby.
The getting ready bit is loads easier for us as our daughter was born here, so we basically have what we need. Plus she was born during SARS when I was too paranoid to leave the house, so I did the most unbelievable amount of research before we bought anything. One expensive way to do it too, I did so much mailorder....
We can bring baby home next week.
Please support our advertisers:
Hi all,
I'm just starting to think about adopting - not even moved to HK yet. But I was wondering, is it possible to adopt a mainland Chinese girl if we were living in HK? Or would we only be allowed to adopt local Hong Kong children. Obviously if we were living in England, we wouldn't be restricted to only adopting local British children, but it seems the same doesn't apply in HK. Can anyone fill me in?
Thanks
jen
Please support our advertisers:
Hi Jen--
As far as I know, you can adopt a child/baby from the Mainland from virtually any country, and you certainly can from Hong Kong. I'm American, so I know (something) about how it works for Americans, but if you're British (?) you need to do some homework, maybe by starting with your Consulate website.
For Ameicans--first of all, even though you'd be living in HK, you still need to work through a private American adoption agency. The process will take something like a year, the agency will take care of all application and citizenship matters and will do the homework of matching you to a child. The baby will probably be 8-12 mo old, and you would be matched along with group. Coming from HK you would probably meet up with the group in Guangzhou (they would've had a "china tour" somewhere) as the Consulate there finalizes all adoptions for Americans.
For Americans, adoption in China is substantially more expensive than in HK (mostly private agency fees and a "donation" to the orphanage your child comes from), and many find the orphanage quality and baby care can leave a lot to be desired. But there is no 18 mo. residency period, and the child is yours, passport and all, after less than a week of paperwork once you arrive in China to meet your baby.
For most HK residents, it is a shorter, more transparent, less expensive process to adopt here in HK. Yet there are many many families who have had excellent experiences adopting on the Mainland.
Good luck :-)
Please support our advertisers:
Daizy
18 yrs ago
We want to move to the US in a couple of months time (fingers crossed) once we get there I am hoping to adopt another child. I sure wish I could adopt a healthy baby from HOng KOng.
Please support our advertisers:
Hi Jazzy--
It's been a huge couple of weeks here...starting with the news of our match coming less than 2 hours after we got the (stunning) news that I was pregnant. Either piece of news on its own would send us over the moon, both together were honestly a bit more than we were prepared for. So we spent a long week thinking about it and making visits to the orphanage to spend time with the sweetest little guy...we just didn't know what to do, didn't know what SWD would say....in the end we decided that adopting now would probably be very difficult on each of the children 9 months from now. And I kept thinking we were being greedy. Here we were, potentially surrounded with children, while 50+ couples are anxiously awaiting a match...
My pregnancy is so early yet...it's hard to know if we did the right thing. But we just didn't have "peace" about taking him home right now. So that's what's going on with us.
Hope YOU get a phone call very soon. We waited just over 3 months to be matched after approval, and we were matched at the same time as a gweilo couple with no children who'd waited only 2 months. So it may come quicker than you think :-)
Please support our advertisers:
Thanks Jazzy. Of course we're thrilled, but it's still SOOoo early, and I miscarried a year ago....
If you can wait a month for your crib, maybe I can pass one along to you (free, of course). Unless you want a new one? This one's whitewashed wood, standard european size, and the rail folds down on hinges. Maybe you've already found something you like--or saw something on the trading post here. Let me know..
Please support our advertisers:
I'm 6 wks Jazzy, too early to count on anything yet :-). I find myself praying incessently though, thank you for adding yours.
We're in central midlevels, close to you at all?
I'd forgotten you work with the orphanage...gosh, don't you just want to take them ALL home? How possible/practical is it for a foreigner to adopt a healthy child from Vietnam?
Please support our advertisers:
My thoughts, congrats on your pregnancy!!! Oh my, you must be overwhelmed by it all. Everything seems to be happening all at once! I'm sure that giving up the matched baby boy wasn't an easy decision but you made it after much thought and consideration. I have no idea what the SWD would say or think but I believe that on the application form there was something about us having to agree not to get pregnant during the first year or something, right? I guess they want (and rightly so) us to give our full attention to the baby that we bring home. But I must say that you're really brave to ultimately give up the matched baby after two weeks of visitation and building up some sort of rapport. I don't know if I could do that if I were in the same situation! Isn't it interesting though, how you didn't feel quite right at the beginning and were worried about the lack of a connection with the child.
Anyhow, congrats once again, and take care of yourself these first couple months. I don't know if you will still stay on this adoption thread but I'd love to hear updates if and when you have the time. For me, my baby girl is growing lovelier and cuter by the day and she is bringing much joy to everyone. Looking at her, I wonder why we didn't consider adoption earlier...but I guess there is a time and place for everything. I probably wasn't ready for this big step before anyway.
Jazzy67, hope we get good news from you next! :)
Please support our advertisers:
Any new and exciting adoption news? Jazzy, I keep hoping you'll get a phone call soon, and jojo, you've been waiting quite a while too.
Well, last I posted we were newly pregnant...but a lot can happen in a month and, for us, well, we ended out losing the baby....very very sad. Then, immediately on the heels of that, an opportunity opened up for my husband which will relocate us to Europe. That was good news in the wake of sad, but it takes us away from the opportunity to adopt in Hong Kong--something we've been interested in for more than two years.
I don't know what will happen now on the baby front...we could always start an adoption process again in another country, but it puts us back a couple of years. At the moment, we're mostly dealing with move logistics as it's all coming together pretty quickly.
Good luck to everyone and may your hopes for your families be perfectly realized. I'll keep checking in from overseas, it's so heartwarming to hear stories like Jen's and Woody's and Daizy's :-)
Jazzy, I've sent you a pm.
Please support our advertisers:
Very sorry about the miscarriage. Yes, a heartbreaking loss. Keep up hope, there are many ways for families to be "born"! But, would there also be any possibility of traveling back to HK for the adoption rather than starting the process over somewhere new?
Please support our advertisers:
Thanks for posting Meiquoren, you caused me to double check what we thought the rules were in HK.
I met with our social worker last week just to be sure, to see if there was ANY flexibility in the requirement that parents continue to reside in HK for 6 mo after being matched, or, to learn if there was anything we could do with our file that would give us a headstart in adopting elsewhere (China, for instance).
Turns out things are pretty much as I thought, though it was good to confirm--
* NO, there's no flexibility in 6 mo residency requirement, and having one partner go ahead to a new posting while the other stays behind with the newly placed child is problematic as the monthly home visits following the matching need to assess attachment with, and care by, BOTH parents. It CAN be done, but only if the parent who's gone ahead can return frequently.
* An approved file CAN be transferred to the International Adoption unit of the SWD, but, those placements are of children with a variety of challenges; various special needs and/or older children. Young healthy babies are placed with families residing in HK.
* THE SWD has no affiliation with the process, or any of the orphanges, on the Mainland--so an approval in HK can't be transferred, or provide any sort of a "head start", to a China adoption.
So those are the rules. But for the moment, we've been delayed so we're trying to figure out if we still CAN manage adopting...it's been quite a rollercoaster.
Please support our advertisers:
wired
18 yrs ago
Do you guys know what the age limit for adopting a child say under the age of one?
Enjoyed reading your posts and 'my thoughts', sorry to hear of your loss. Good luck in the future.
Please support our advertisers:
Sorry wired, not sure I understand your question...age limit of the child? Age limit for the parents? I'm not sure there is any age limit on the parents, I've heard stories where one or both of the couple were quite a bit older. In one case one of the parents was in their mid-sixties. You can always call the SWD and ask them, they're very helpful.
Thanks for your good wishes. We've realized if we can be matched in October, our move has been delayed enough that we can still complete adoption here. So that's our prayer :-)
Please support our advertisers:
wired
18 yrs ago
Sorry my thoughts, yes I did mean if there is an age limit on the adopting parents. Hubbie and I are in our 40's and some people think adopting at our age is unaceptable (in their minds), of course we disagree.
Please support our advertisers:
Well, I can say with confidence that SWD has no problem with parents in their 40's. We both are, as were several of the couples in our workshops.
Please support our advertisers:
cd
18 yrs ago
To Wired,
I was adopted as a baby in the UK by parents that were in their mid 40's at the time. I had a great upbringing and never had a problem with them being older parents. I was told as a young child that I had been especially chosen, (as had my brother and sister, non biological) and it always made me feel very special. Unfortunately I lost my mum 18 months ago, and now my dad is terminally ill. But they will always be my parents, and kids grandparents. The first question anyone asks me when I tell them I'm adopted, is do I ever want to find my 'real ' parents, which really annoys me as my mum and dad are my real parents, they're the ones who brought me up, taught me everything, took me to the beach etc. The other people don't mean anything to me. Good luck to all of you trying to adopt.......and I hope your children bring you as much joy as I did to my parents!!!!!
Please support our advertisers:
What a wonderful post cd, thank you for sharing.
Please support our advertisers:
wired
18 yrs ago
Cd, I thankyou for sharing. In my own heart, what you said is how I feel about adoption (although everyone's experiences are different). Sorry to hear of your mother's passing and of your dad's illness. I've been there and it is heartbreaking.
My thoughts, thanks for the confidence vote.
Please support our advertisers:
Daizy
18 yrs ago
People always have some opinion or other about adoption. They either think people are too old or too young. I was 25 when i went through the adoption process for our son and we got him right after I turned 26, everyone is always commenting about how young I am and blah blah.. either way if you want to have a child, go ahead and do it :)
Please support our advertisers:
Daizy
18 yrs ago
International Adoption Question
I am thinking about adopting a second baby now however not from Hong Kong. Reason is, we plan on leaving HK in 6-8 months time. Our son's adoption took well over a year (initial 6 months, US consulate hassle) bottom line, we don't want to be tied down to Hong Kong for another two years.
Has anyone looked into adopting while living overseas from another country? I wouldn't mind a baby from HK but they have strict rules about it so I was thinking China, Russia or anywhere else. If you have information please share as I really don't know where to begin with.
Please support our advertisers:
Daizy, my husband and I (Americans) began the process of adopting our little girl in China while we were living in Germany, moved to Hong Kong during the process and completed the adoption while living here. There are special issues when you are living abroad of which most adoption agencies are not knowledgeable, and you will have to do your homework. Feel free to send me a PM to discuss this further.
Please support our advertisers:
Daizy
18 yrs ago
KathJen, Thank you so much for replying. I want to PM you but can't figure out how, so frustrated at myself. Are you still in Hong Kong? If you don't mind can you PM me and I'll reply to that? Can't wait to talk to you :)
Please support our advertisers:
Daizy, I am still in Hong Kong and sent a PM to you. Go to the upper, left-hand corner of the site and right under Announcementes you will see a link to log in. Then go to your Control Panel. Please feel free to call me (I won't be home this evening). Cheers!
Please support our advertisers:
Hi Jazzy--there were a lot of challenges in the last session, including several babies with prenatal drug exposure. We didn't match. Hoping for good news this week though :-) Good luck to you, too.
I was going to send you a private note, but might as well ask here... Do you know what the process is for Americans to adopt from Vietnam? Are adoptions handled centrally or separately by the individual orphanages? Does one have to go through an agency? (Any in particular?) It's a shame Canadian's can't adopt there, with all the time and heart you've given...
It must be quite recent that American's can adopt again. I seached a few weeks ago and it wasn't possible, that is, it had been but wasn't any more but was expected to open up again. Did that site have dated info?
Please support our advertisers:
Hi Jazzy. My husband and I are interested in adopting from Vietnam. I'm from NZ and my husband is from Australia, we've been in HKG for 7 years. Would be most grateful to get any info re adopting from Vietnam (or Cambodia)?
Cheers
Please support our advertisers:
DeniseG,
Sorry, I am not familiar with other Country adoptions from VIETNAM. When we looked into it last year here in HK,we were told that HK and Vietnam do not have an adoption agreement, and we would have to go thru our home Country. As far as I know, HK has adoption agreements with Thailand, India, China and Phillipines. But things do change, so you should inquire first.
We were matched this year with a beautiful girl, so mabe once we are back in our home country we will look at Vietnam again.
Good Luck!!
Please support our advertisers:
Denise G, We are A HK resident UK couple also imterested in adoption from Cambodia from Thailand or Cambodia. Would be interested to know what the situation is here or where to start. And info gratefully received!
Please support our advertisers:
Hi Jude, sorry I didn't respond earlier as I haven't looked into Asiaxpat for a while. Probably the best course would be for you to firstly contact the British Embassy in Phnom Penh to find out the best way to go. Its all a bit vague in Cambodia I must say. We went to PP and visited an orphanage that had been recommended by a couple here who have adopted an infant girl. Even after that, it took nearly 5 months to get the paperwork sent to Hong Kong. Then you need to arrange for a home study here and other things like police check, health check, etc. We are using a lovely American lady called Megan to help us with the paperwork and perform the home study. She's been brilliant. We have put everything on hold for a little while as we are moving house and its all a bit hectic. Good luck and let me know if I can be of further help.
Cheers
Denise
Please support our advertisers:
Mi Fu
16 yrs ago
It seems that quite a lot of people have experience with adoption in Hongkong.
Do you have any experience whether it is possible to adopt a child from Hongkong when living in Mainland China?
Because of our situation ("mixed" couple, one Chinese, one foreigner from a country who has no adoption agreement with China, it seems to be impossible to adopt a child in Mainland China.
By the way, why are there so many adoptions in Hongkong? As a general rule, orphans are few in developed area, most are in the countryside.
Please support our advertisers:
< Back to main category
You must be logged in to be able to reply.
Login now
Copy Link
Facebook
Gmail
Mail