Hi linchee - i had a surgery to remove a very big intramural fibroid and the doctor told me not to even try for pregnancy at least for 6 months.
It really depends on each individual case - and the nature of the fibroids and the procedure followed to remove them.
But really - waiting a couple of months seems to be a good idea.
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A few things... first your age. It's unfair of course but miscarriage increases over the age of 25. Second, you had an op which always takes a bit of time for the body to recover from the shock. Third, some 50% of all pregnancies end in early miscarriage - some women may not even know they are pregnant - and that figure could be higher for first pregnancies.
It seems that nature was conspiring against you this time. In a couple of months, your body will be in much better condition to carry a pregnancy - start preparing it now. Next time your body will more prepared for the shock of pregnancy. I say shock because you're really carrying a part of someone else inside you. I look at as the body saying "what the heck is that bit of not-me". Next time it will be more prepared, kind of like a vaccination... "oh I remember this, this is OK".
As heartbreaking as the miscarriage was, next time nature will be back on your side. Give your body those couple of months to repair and recouperate. Please don't look at the time as wasted. Your body is going to be your baby's home for the nine months so this is the time to get it ready.
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"i will guarantee you get pregnant within 2 years if you just relax"...i think this is very true. my aunt tried 2 years for her 1st kid...she was into temperature taking, using ovulation kits, etc and NOTHING.
but 2 years later, she went for a quick getaway with hubby in malaysia and she got pregnant there!
so relax, take a break to unwind - best of luck!
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just like cara's friend, my sis-in-law had her 1st 2 via IVF and her 3rd one naturally!
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JBB
19 yrs ago
I think this thread has diverted somewhat from what Linchee was asking in her post.
So in response to her post, I agree with Claire. You body needs to recover. After surgery and even after an IVF cycle a lot of docs recommend a couple of months to recover even if you are in yr 40s.
Naturopaths and acupuncturists will recommend minimum 3 months to improve the condition of the egg and sperm.
So see this as a break to recover and recuperate and spoil yourself.
But for the others that think "just relaxing" is all you need. It isn't.It does work for some but it is a large minority.
I think it was very unprofessional of the gynae to say "i will guarantee you get pregnant within 2 years if you just relax".
Saying "just relax" to anyone that has tried to fall pg, or done a few IVFs. miscarriage/s is in fact discouraged. These comments like these add stress and unrealistic expectations to those in the early stages of ttc'ing.
It usually happens when the person has reached a special mindframe. You cannot influence or make it happen. You cannot pretend you have given up when you really have not.
There are so many factors involved, was it just relaxing that did it? Or were there other unknown factors that influenced it? Who knows.
Just please be careful who you say this too. They may not appreciate it.
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Hi Linchee,
I am very sorry for your loss.
I had a 'chemical' preganancy with my first one, meaning that it failed in the early stages. As other said, up to 50% of pregancies can fail in this way.
In my case, my obs said there was no reason for me not to immediately start trying, but I think as others have reccommended, with your surgery it would be best to follow the doctor's advice.
I would just like to back up what JBB has said about telling people who are TTC to 'just relax'. Please do think very carefully before doing this.
No matter how well meant, there is nothing worse than being made to think that it is something you are doing 'wrong' that is causing your failure to conceive. Not being stressed IS certainly an ideal environment to conceive in, but when you have been trying to conceive for a long period or have miscarried, you will quite simply NOT be relaxed about it, no matter how much you may wish to be.
I fell pregnant 'naturally' with my current preganacy right on the EDD of my first failed pregnancy, after a long period of trying and I can assure you I was anything but 'relaxed' at the time. In fact I think I was the most depressed and stressed that I had been over my whole period of TTCing.
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Hi Linchee,
Sorry to hear about your loss too. And i won't tell you to relax, as i know it is just easier said than done. No travel or vacation can make me relax thinking about my TTC situation.
Like Gidget, i got pregnant naturally (after a failed pregnancy 5 years ago) but during those years til i got preggy, i am not relax and thinking ways and procedures how to be pregnant. I was so stressed and almost depressed as i'm 37, time is ticking, but i was not giving up, at that time, i was doing BBT, and acupunture, trying to eat healthy stuff. If you just leave everything by chance, like not knowing exactly when are you ovulating, the chance is slimmer.
My husband also travels 50% in a month, what i do is tell him my ovulation week so he stays, or worst, i travel with him, but not a good advice as it delays my ovulation.
Take care and all the best to you.
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i was one of those trying to be encouraging by asking women who are ttc to relax. i am sorry if it was insensitive.
i will not pretend to know how it feels like to keep trying. i can only say best of luck to all those TTC and hope to hear you post good news very soon!
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Saw a miscarriage expert last week, and asked the question about the gap between pregnancies and resultant miscarriage risk. Was basically told that the 2 periods rule was generally to allow for emotional rather than physical recovery. It is apparently a hangover from when miscarriages were detected much later in pregnancy (before scans, highly sensitive pregnancy tests etc.) and therefore much more traumatic. Her advice was that youyr hormones tend not to facilitate a pregnancy until you are emotionally ready for one, so advised that I just follow my insticts. The major difference though is that I have not had surgery recently, so that may have been the reason for your doctor's advice. Good luck!
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