Devastated & Need Advice

This is my second attempt in IVF/FET. The first one resulted in an early miscarriage in June and we had just received our 2ww result from the FET today and it was negative.


I have tried yoga, chinese acupuncture during the last 2 weeks before FET and was given all the necessary medications to sustain the embryo transplant from my fertility doc eg heparin, pregnisolone, estrogen, progesteron , cardipirin but nothing seems to work.


I am so devastated. I am lost and all I can think of is that there is something wrong somewhere and I dont know how to fix it.I am not sure what I should do next.. another FET, forget FET and do strictly Chinese medicine and acupuncture, adopt a child, go al-naturale and hope for the best??


The fertility doc cant explained what went wrong bc essentially my embyros were in good condition, lining was good, I have no other health problem for eg PCOS, endo etc, hubby's sperm is ok..


I am truly in need of some advice from the women out there whom have been or are going through similiar situation as me. What should I do? Appreciate your kind reply.

thank you JoeCheung. I had acupuncture on the day and day after the FET. I was not prescribed any chinese herbs as my TCM practitioner did not see the value add at that point of time due to the existing large intake of hormones prescribed by my fertility doctor. I am just at the cross road whether I should go 100% TCM or continue with FET. I have 4 frozen embryos left in the bank. What will anyone do in my situation?

pinklotus, i understand how confusing the fertility issue is as we went thru IVF and IUI ourselves and it truely plays with your emotions. I'm not sure if i can help every person situation is unique we did 5 IUI's and 1 IVF we finally got pregnant and are lucky enough to have a daughter so all i can say is keep at it. Every time we got a negative result it was heart breaking and our emotions and finance's were drained. I have PCO so it was a helpful to know that so i could be treated accordingly but i have a friend in your situation where they can't find any issues with either of them but they haven't tried IVF yet they are in the process of moving countries but i think that is the next step. Another frined of mine was told her eggs are of very poor quality and they tried IVF and IUI but after some time she just couldn't deal with the up's and downs of it all and they are in the process of adopting a little boy form Russia. I think if you've only tried twice give it another go and do the acupunture otherwises you'll always wonder if it would have helped. I know there are women on this forum who believe it helped them... you can only try.

Best of luck to you just try to get thru each day and hang in there.

Perthites, firstly thanks for reaching out.The logical mind in me tells me that I have to give FET another shot. I guess I am just so afraid of another failure and truly desperate for a miracle to happen.I know there is no set formulae for conception to take place but I just wish that I am giving just one tiny break.


My family would like to see me to take a break from fertility treatment.. just chill out and relax but in my mind.. i am constantly thinking abt it... it does not stop just because I am on "holiday".I dont know how to switch off and I know for my own sanity- I should.


JoeCheung - did you try TCM yourself? And if yes, what do you make of it?I am considering TCM just to prep the body to a healthier state.

hi pink lotus


sorry to hear about your m/c and now this - fet, infertility is devastating on so many frontiers, physically, emotionally and mentally.


you are right, as much as your family would love for you to put your quest for a child on the back burner for a while, it doesn't work like that. you can't switch off.


i did tcm for every single one of my fertility treatments. i had two successes and three failures, and one failed iui, where i also did tcm. (not in hong kong). i definitely believe that it helps the body, but i also know it isn't essential, or a guarantee.


pink, i have pcos as well, and the clinic i went to in toronto indicated that once pregnant, pcos does not raise chances of m/c.


you asked what i would do in your situation: definitely use up the four frozens. fet's aren't as expensive as ivf's and i always found them to be less challenging psychologically as well.


hope this helps.

When you mention progesterone, do you mean progestin or natural progesterone? If the former, are you aware of the difference? FYI, you doctor may not have offered you the latter because pharmaceutical companies cannot patent a naturally occurring product thus cannot make the usually big money from it and have no product to promote to doctors. Progestin is not the same and it does not covert into progesterone in the body. Natural progesterone is given as trans-dermal cream and is used around the world to sustain pregnancies.


If you were given progestin but would like to know about natural progesterone - let me know.

Hi Claire- there were 2 type of progesterone prescribed to me. One via intravenously ( self inject on a daily basis during the 2ww) and the other in soft capsules to be inserted into the vagina. My understanding of this hormone is that it aids the uterus lining during implantation. I might be mistaken but I thot it is a standard protocol hormone prescribed for IVF cases. Do please let me know if I am of track.


Abitnaive - you are right about being in this roller coaster ride and how demanding it can be from all aspects. I want to believe that if I keep trying that I will be able to get pregnant at some point in time. Somewhere along the line, I think I have lost the plot.I just need to find that inner strength to start again. Each time I look at other ppl children- I keep wondering when I am able to hold one of my own.It pains me and its awful to feel envious of other ppl's bundle of joy.

The intravenous one would have been synthetic, not sure about the capsules.


Progesterone stop the premature shedding of the uterus lining and protects the embryo by promoting the delivery of both oxygen and glucose. This is why there should be no sudden stopping of the progesterone, even once the pregnancy is confirmed. After a while the placenta starts to produce its own progesterone, but production can still fall. In some cases, natural progesterone has been used (successfully and wihtout harm to the baby) throughout the second and third trimesters. Natural progesterone has been found to prevent preeclampsia too.


The problem with the synthetic versions is that they can cause harm to the growing foetus which is why they can't be continued for too long. This is the advantage of natural progesterone, it can be used up to a week before delivery without harm.


BTW, check your intake of commercially produced meat, poultry and dairy products because these may well contain synthetic oestrogen. This will make you oestrogen dominant which decreases the effect of progesterone.


Now a few facts. The average conception rate for normally fertile couples is only 21% per month (depends on age). The average conception rate for couples on FET can be 25%, again depending on age. So it's possible you have better odds of a successful implantation than an average couple!

hi

During IVF the eggs retrieve & nurture in culture dish for 4 to fertilize then the rest like another 4 eggs frozen....


this Frozen eggs prices included in IVF process or extra charges ?


FET for next treatment another charges ?


Regards,

Waiting for advises.

Thank you

hi poseidon

if i read your post correctly you're asking for advice as to whether you will be charged for the FET?

from my experiences, yes. you are charged for the transfer, the drugs, and the blood tests and ultrasounds leading up to the transfer. since you don't need egg retrieval and the follicle stimulation hormones, the cost of a FET is substantially less than the ivf. hope i understood you correctly.

you are right abitnaive.

Just a little bit more information for Poseidon. The IVF centre charges abt HKD1k per month for the safekeeping of the frozen embryo. The doctor will then have separate charges for the embryo tranplant procedure and so will the hospital for providing the facilities during the day of transfer.

Hi Pink Lotus


First may I say how sorry I am that you had a m/c and failed FET cycle.


Don't rush into what is next. But take time to grieve for the failed cycle and your previous miscarriage. Take some time to spoil yourself. Then when you feel better - it is almost like walking up one day and saying "ok I am ready to try again' for some.


When you feel better and the pain is not so raw -then you will be in a better position to decide "what next?".


You still have 4 frosties - well done! Between cycles it is recommended that you wait 3 cycles/months before trying again for FET or IVF. This gives the body time to recovery and mind to get ready. Back to back cycles can have a negative effect on people - it is extra physical and mental stress.


Take your time, work through the options. Try TCM with herbs in the months leading up to your next try. It will be more for getting the body back into balance, stress control and relaxation rather than plainly for fertility. It can address all sorts at the same time.


Go for regular massage, reflexology - things to enjoy not purely for fertility. Have an exercise programme.


Take care that while you are in this stage to take a break for looking for the 'cure' online. There are a lot of things out there that will make you keen to part with money to find the answer. There a lot of quacks out there.


One thing I would suggest - when you think about your next cycle, be positive but at the same time make a tentative plan for incase it does not work. I hope it does work but having a back-up plan does not mean being negative just prepared. I say this because we are leading up to the end of the year, Christmas, New Year etc so it could either be a great Christmas or a sad one if you were to cycle close to.


A good book to read is by Alice Domar called Conquering Infertility. It is a mind/body guide to enhancing fertility and coping with infertility. She has a chapter 'when miracles don't happen - Coping when treatment fails'.


It might be helpful.


All the best!

thank you JJB for the thotful advice.I am mentally telling myself to take a break from fertility treatment and simply enjoy the rest of the year end with less frustration and fear. You are right that either I have a good Xmas or I dont! And I certainly want to have a positive outlook for the future.


I have decided to continue with TCM but lay off any FET plan till next year. I do believe that I need to have a break for my body. It has been non stop fertility treatment since February this year and it has been exhausting mentally.


I will have a look at the book you suggested. Once again - thank you.