Hi, I'm 37 and I was on the pill for about 12 years before stopping it in late August. Now, I'm hoping to get pregnant and I'm wondering how long, on average, it could take...if it happens at all. Any one care to share their own experiences? Thanks!
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I was pregnant with our first child the second month after coming off the pill, and just a week before my 41st birthday. So, fingers crossed, it could be quicker than you think :-)
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My Thoughts: many thanks for your post. What an encouraging anecdote to offset some of the worrying articles I've been (foolishly) reading! Thanks again.
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i got pregnant within 2 weeks of coming off the pill. didn't realise i was pregnant as was still waiting to have a period! i was 37. had a perfectly healthy baby boy.
it's not so easy second time round....been trying a few months with no luck so far.
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The pill does not affect fertility - if you have problems getting pregnant after stopping the pill, these problems (such as with age) would have happened anyway, even if you had never taken it.
And, as some here know, it is possible to get pregnant very quickly after stopping the pill - so start on the folic acid immediately.
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Many thanks to all of you...somehow hearing of these happy outcomes from real people (even though I don't know you!) is hugely helpful. Thanks again and best of luck to you with #2, Squiggles!
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Hi wishing...just wanted to chime in again, because, like squiggles, we've had a much more difficult time with having a second child...which means I was doing LOADS of research on how to give ourselves the best possible chance.
For what it's worth, here are some things you may want to keep in mind now while you're trying...
For the woman: Healthy diet, take a multi-vitamin with Folic Acid, regular moderate exercise, NO alcohol or tobacco, avoid caffine, reduce stress (exercise helps)
For the man: Healthy diet, take a multivitamin with Zinc, regular moderate exercise, No more than 3 alcoholic drinks a week, no tobacco, reduce stress
It's best to have sex every 3-5 days and daily during the days you're most fertile (3 days before and 1 day after ovulation). More often than every 3 days can reduce sperm counts and after 5 days, there're more dead than alive. There needs to be a regular "release". (Sperm life cycle is 60-90 days, so any positive changes on the male side take time to be realized.)
If it starts to take longer than you think it should (generally, the rule of thumb for women >35 is 6 months), don't hesitate about going to a fertility specialist. It's hard to make that first phone call (I know), but smart to get yourselves checked out and start being more proactive.
But wouldn't it just be fantastic if it all happened quickly for you! Crossing all fingers and toes :-)
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Thanks, My Thoughts...I really appreciate your post. And I must admit I *am* really hoping that it happens quickly--so much so that I had a dream last night that I was pregnant! Waking up was a bit of a disappointment. :-) I hope that's not indicative of some bizarre level of obsessiveness (!!!), but there is something about wanting a baby that can be totally preoccupying, isn't there? It must have been so exciting for you when you had your first...hope a second comes to you soon!
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my thoughts,
thanks for those helpful tips - think we need to reduce the stress, do less exercise, and definitely drink less! fingers crossed. am trying not to be too preoccupied with the whole thing and turning it into a 'baby-making' exercise for the present.
good luck with you and of course you too, wishing and hoping.
we're all wishing and hoping!
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Squiggles and My Thoughts,
A question for you both that is less about mechanics and more about stress management:
I'm a newlywed (got married in September) and I'm conscious that becoming too preoccupied with this and turning sex, as Squiggles said, into solely a "baby making exercise" is not a good thing in many ways.
With respect to your partners, how did each of you, the first time around, manage your own excitement/anticipation/anxiety? Were your partners similarly preoccupied? Or was most of the excitement/anxiety yours? Did you discuss baby-making with them a lot--the mechanics and the worries?
I'm guessing you will understand the dilemma that underlies these questions: on the one hand, I don't want to drive my (wonderful!) husband nuts by becoming a humorless stress monger! But on the other hand I don't want to be naive and take some overly romanticized view that "things will just happen"...
I'm sure there's no easy answer and, like most things in life, it's all about hitting the right balance, but I would nonetheless welcome any relationship wisdom/tips you care to share! Thanks.
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Wishing and hoping,
First time round it was very different and very quick. My husband is 5 years younger than me so the time issue wasn't really a concern on his side, but more on mine. The decision we made for me to come off the pill was to 'prepare my body' for later in the year for when we start trying properly. In the meantime it was just going to be fun. Haha....I was pregnant two weeks later!
This time round however, it has been much more stressful. There have been a couple of monthe when the whole thing turned into something mechanical and neither of us enjoyed it. We have now decided to take a step back and chill a bit to see if it would happen a bit easier. However, both of us are very stressed at work at the moment and various other things is not helping the 'cause', so I don't know how successful this 'chilling' is going to be.
On the mechanics side, I know the times it should be happening, know the percentage chances of success but I try not to discuss in too much detail with hubby - just try to let him know when it would be good time and take it from there...
We are lucky in the fact that we do have one beautiful child already, so we feel that another one would just be a bonus. If it doesn't happen then that's fate.
It is different for you as you still want that first one. Getting too stressed about it will not help. Perhaps you should try a 'fun' period of time before you start trying 'properly'. Men do hate being baby making machines. They want to feel loved and it does become emotionally difficult for them. I know my hubby hated it towards the end and it became very difficult for us, and a little demoralising. That's why we're easing off but still trying, if you can understand.
I do hope that you find that right balance of fun and baby making - maybe you both should sit down and discuss the plan going forward. But please don't get too stressed about it - you won't do yourself, your hubby, or your marriage any favours!
Good Luck - keep us posted!
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Squiggles, thanks so much for your post. Lots of good advice--I'll do my best to heed it!
Well I know for sure now that I don't have a honeymoon baby. Darn--but I guess that would have been just too lucky for words! Maybe next month!
[In case you feel I'm ignoring your advice to chill, I PROMISE I said that in a cheerful and lighthearted way!] :-)
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Hi Wishing...I found out pretty quickly that as in-love as my husband is with our daughter, he was NOT interested in being a baby-maker, the whole concept was completely unromatic for him. He'd love it to happen, but he doesn't want to dwell on it. AT ALL. So, I was the diligent record keeper...and candle lighter :-)
I have one of those Clear Blue monitors, the one where you insert the sticks for 10 (or more) days each month, so I know exactly where I am in my cycle....and I managed our timing ;-). Every once and a while, he'd give me a grin in the dark and say something along the lines of, think we'll be pregnant by tomorrow? So he knew, but that's as close to "timing it" as he's wanted to get.
I think Squiggles advice about keeping up the spontainity and fun is important. Which is probably why lots of people have good luck with a well-timed holiday, and there're plenty of romantic destinations here in Asia. HE doesn't need to know how well-timed your holiday is. I know you're just back from your honeymoon, but, well, there's always the odd weekend away :-)
Caffine (for women), alcohol and tobacco are proven to impare fertility....we were so serious about these that I even cut chocolate from my diet--now THAT was hard (and probably unnecessary)
A couple of other things from various sources (and which you probably already know)--it's best to stay prone for a good 20-30 minutes after, give those swimmers a chance to get to their destination. And take it easy for the two weeks after you ovulate, no heavy lifting or serious exercise. It can take an embryo A WEEK to implant well and abdominal work and overexertion (apparently) can cause one to dislodge.
Enough of the seriousness! Good luck ladies, wouldn't it be fabulous to see some good news posted here soon :-)
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Thanks for sharing your experiences, My Thoughts.
Giving up chocolate. That IS serious talk indeed! :-)
Curious about the Clear Blue monitor...is that much better than their 5-stick "ovulation test"? Would you recommend that I get one?
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chocolate, yeah, no kidding :-)
On the monitor, I think it's better--but it wasn't enough to make us successful, so, who knows.
It's "smart", in that it retains data from cycle to cycle. Normally, it would request sticks from Day 6 of your cycle and for the next 10 days. It measures hormone levels each day and gives a fertility reading of "low", "high", or "peak".
BUT, neither the monitor nor the sticks are available in HK, so you need a friend in the US or UK (maybe Singapore or OZ?). The whole deal is more expensive too, the monitor is in the order of...I forget, over US$100 I think. And a 3 mo. box of sticks runs about US$35.
You can read more about it on their website...
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Thanks, my thoughts. I guess I'll try the low-tech kit for now and see how I go...thanks again.
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