Hi, maybe some of you can offer some perspective...I've clearly lost mine.
I am worrying *incessantly* about miscarriage. Literally having nightmares almost every night. I'm now at 8 weeks and was counting the days until what I thought was the magical 12 week mark...but then a woman I know miscarried at 19 weeks...so now I'm back to just worrying and worrying and worrying...
I know this is a bit of a vague question but I guess it boils down to this: a) are there any really meaningful milestones after which I truly should stop worrying? and b) how did you experienced mums out there cope with the anxiety (if you had it in spades, like me)...
Thanks so much.
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Hi there wishing and hoping!
I am nearly 20 weeks along. I feel the baby kick daily and regularly but sometimes i fear i might lose the baby and have to do it all over again if i can emotionally handle it. I am pregnant with my 3rd pregnancy and 3rd child. The fear does go away at about 6 months along or about 25+ weeks. However, then you might get the fear that the baby would come early. You need to relax and keep in mind that this is nature working. I know the fear of losing a child can be very strong. You're already 8 weeks!!!! i would say thats pretty good so far. After 4 months which is about 15 weeks.. i think haha... you start to feel a bit better about the baby and all. Just give it time stop worrying cuz stressing yourself out isnt good for you or the pregnancy *child*.
The biggest milestone for me with my 2 other pregnancies was the ultrasoun at around 20-27 weeks were if you wish you can view the gender as well as check to see if the baby is healthy. That gave me not only a realization i was really going to be a mother but also let me know that the baby was healthy and living.
The feelings you are having are normal and are partially due to the hormones running through your body which are intense around 8 weeks along. They taper off a bit in your 2nd trimester.
I wish you the best of luck!!!!
Shan
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W&H - I agree that worrying is normal and I am also worrying a lot!! This is my first pregnancy so I don't know what to expect through the stages and have lots of stories of friends who miscarried at different times along the way which is always in the back of my mind. It seems far too long between the monthly scans and I seem to need to see the baby move on the screen and see the heart beating to reassure myself that it is still all ok in there. Next scan is on Monday so have been waiting 3 weeks and worrying! Think we both need to take a deep breath, think positive and know that whatever happens it is out of our hands.
Verellene - we are almost at the same stage - I am 20 weeks on Monday and having my big scan with the specialist to check the heart and other organs. You are lucky to have felt the baby move. I haven't felt anything yet but hoping to soon.
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Hi Wishing and Hoping,
I'm not pregnant at the moment(well that I know of!) but have 2 children and basically worried the whole time. I was lucky and had 2 pregnancies resulting in 2 beautiful healthy children. My friend was/is not so lucky and has had several miscarriages. Her Dr told her that the chances of miscarriage are significantly reduced once you have had an ultrasound and heard the babies heartbeat so if you have done this I guess you can relax a little.
Hope this helps some. Good luck
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oh you poor things - i feel for you. I remember being at that stage constanty feeling worried and worried and worried..... my husband was like - but aren't you happy that you're pregnant?
I relaxed a bit after the 12 week scan when doc said that the risk of miscarraige was almost zero.
But it does get better and suddenly time starts to fly. Try not to focus too much on the fact that you're pregnant and do nice things...easier said than done, I know.
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hi there w&h, Just wanted to share that I know how you feel. I am now 15 weeks but worry all the time that I will miscarry(my last pregnancy ended in miscarriage)You have to be strong, have hope and take good care of yourself.Parents tell me that you never stop worrying about your child even from conception.
All the best
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Thanks, everyone. I really appreciate your kind words and encouragement. And it's good to know there are others out there...
Also, I just heard from the doctor that it's okay to take Unisom (the sleep aid), which is good news, as some nights I think it will definitely take that in order to just shut down my crazy brain and get some rest!
Best wishes to all of you who are expecting. Kali, I hope your little one is staying snug inside for as long as you'd like!
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wishing & hoping,
just to say, even when you've had the little one you will NEVER stop worrying about them!! It doesn't matter whether they are inside you or outside you, you will worry about them for the rest of your life! And what's worse, when you've stopped worrying about thing, there's always something else to worry about...this is just the start! Enjoy!
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mrsl
18 yrs ago
W&H, have to agree with the other posters that if you're the type of person who is prone to fret, then the worry never stops. From a pregnancy point of view though, each 'milestone' scan helps; heartbeat at c.7 weeks, triple test at c.12 weeks, 20 week organ check etc. Once I was much further along, I just kept hoping to get as close to term as possible and then when they were born I got neurotic about cot death....
All that said, I have plenty of friends who were totally relaxed the whole way through (and since). I have not figured out their secret (although never having miscarried probably helps), they even disregarded most guidleines about diet etc. Worrying never helps the outcome of pregnancy. What will happen, will happen. I guess we should focus on the positive things that we can do to help the pregnancy along, rather than dwelling on the negatives. At the other end of the scale, friends with teens say that their level of fretting has intensified over the years - I cannot even imagine! Some of us are just programmed to worry and can only manage it by focusing on every bit of positive news that we receive rather than dwelling on theoretical risks. Good luck with it!
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Yeah i am looking forward to the scan soon as i hope to see the gender this round hehe never know tho with how the rug rat moves around. Yeah this one is a wild one like my first baby.
-Starbucks I think with each pregnancy you tend to feel the baby kick sooner or stronger per say. This pregnancy i felt the baby kick from about 13 weeks on. I couldnt get my husband to feel tho it took til about the 17th week before he felt the baby kick by touching my belly.
I also heard Unisom was safe during pregnancy. With my 2nd pregnancy the last couple months i couldnt sleep at night. i didnt take the pills as they made me sleep til 2pm the next day. good luck there Wishing and Hoping and all you other pregnant ladies out there!
Shan
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Thanks W&H - the papa is back and the grandma is here so he can now come out and I won't be too worried i think.
As for the worrying bit - i know this is not such a nice thing to say - but it helped me a lot for other things.
Even if you worry, nothing's going to change. So plan and consider alternatives and be informed but don't *worry* as it's a pointless activity.
I used to have this attitude and I am now working on gettting it back!
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