new job - when to start trying

I am relavitely new at a job (5 months) and I was wondering if you think its too early to start trying to get pregnant? My husband and I want to its just I feel a bit nervous about it. It might take a while or not - but do you think its bad if 8 or 9 months in a new position I told my boss I was pregnant? I don't really care about materinty benefits and at this stage I am planning to come back to work after 4 months (approx), its more of the fact that the clock is ticking loudly! What do you think?

thanks waffle, all good advice. It is not that I am worried about losing my job and I know all the legalities behind it all . I am very fortunate with this job that the company prides itself of retaining staff and have very generous meternity plans. just wondering whether people think it is a bit unfair to my employer and whether anyone has had any bad experiences with falling pregnant in the early days of a job? They knowingly hired me in my mid 30s- so it is a known risk to them. I completely agree that must put family before job - its just a big decision of when to start!

First of all. Family should always come first. Second go with what you feel you need for your life. What is or isnt fair in a work place should not affect what you want/need.



Not to scare you but i have had difficulties with this pregnancy with an employeer. I barely found out i was pregnant and i told my employeers i was pregnant. A few weeks later i was rushed into the hospital with a possible Ectopic pregnancy/ tubel pregnancy that they thought was going to erupt. I had several ultrasounds. Luckily it wasnt and i was allowed to go home. However, the pain i had was due to the round ligament which had been torn during my first pregnancy with my first child. I was told to take a week off and rest to let the ligament rest. My employeers were very angry and fired me saying that my pregnancy made me unreliable. I wasnt able to find a job after that since morning sickness kicked in as well as a few other things pregnancy brings along that caused me not to be able to find another job. Now i am at 22 weeks along where i am showing and have gone for several interviews and that is always a concern they have which causes them not to hire me. Now luckily in china there are laws to protect pregnant women. As many of you know China has a one child policy. So pregnant women are treated well here. So at this time i am in a legal dispute with them.



Now i am sure in HK its alot better and you have less to worry about. What happened to me i would say is a low percentile for most work places. I am sure if your work place is well established you shouldnt face any discrimination.



i wish you luck in trying to have a baby and dont worry about anything happening at the work place. You are protected by laws. Try not to think about whether your pregnancy is fair to your employeer. Bringing a child into the world is a wonderful thing. How can that be unfair to someone else? Its human nature to have children. If sociaty forgets where we come from and how we come into the world, they deny their own exsistance.



Shan

hi there

i went through the same uncertainties earlier in the year when i was first hired into this job. its a tough decision to make but i guess the right one would be to put your family first. there is really no middle ground. but think of it this way. The worst case scenario is that your boss may show displeasure. But if that really turns out to be the case, then he might just have proven himself not to be a good boss to work for. good luck with your decision!

Wow Cara i thought my first was a toughie!!! What caused you to be in a wheelchair?




Shan

I got pregnant after working for 1month for a company. I told my boss in three months and negotiated to work from home because I was sick all the time. She did give me a bit of hard time about going to the doctor's check up and not coming to the office but the higher management was more understanding so I kept on working from home. At the end of the term they did some performance evaluation and I became top of the team anyway so pregnancy and working from home really didn't affect my contribution to the firm. Now, I felt a bit bad about leaving right after getting the full maternity benefits, but my hubby told me firms are not people and there is really no need to feel royalty to the firm as they will sack you when they want to. They have no royalty to us so why should we feel it? I can see you are a conscientious worker and thus feel that it won't be fair to the firm if you try to get pregnant so soon. But if you are an asset to the firm (I am sure you are as they made the decision to hire you) and continue contributing to the performance of the team then you should not really worry about being pregnant and taking maternity leave. It is more costly for them to go out and look for a person who is as skilled as you and replace than keeping you and giving you the benefit. Stick to your gun and ignore people who may have less tolerant attitude to pregnant women. They don't realize the importance of this job of becoming a mother and small minded. At the end of the day, it is your life and nobody else's. If you think it is the best time for you and your partner's life to have a baby, then go for it. Do not ever feel guilty or bad about getting pregnant while working.

thank you to everyone who replied. your stories and shared experience are very helpful to me.

Be careful! Maybe find out beforehand what your company's policy on unpaid leave is. I know from experience many companies in Hong Kong are unwilling to hold your position for longer than the standard 10 weeks that they are required to give. Hong Kong is absolutely shameful in the way they deal with pregnancy and new motherhood. In fact according to the law you are supposed to leave work 4 weeks before your due date, and therefore, you are returning when the baby is only 6 weeks old!! Coming from Canada, I was shocked to see such a terrible, uncompassionate system. Good luck to you.