Posted by
poppy101
17 yrs ago
I am now in my 7th month of pregnancy and commute to work daily on the MTR (30 min one way). I am constantly astounded by the lack of manners and the attitude from other commuters. I have been offered a seat ONCE. Young men often occupy seats and are engrossed in their PSPs and mobile phones. Then you have the sleepers. Is this merely an avoidance strategy so they don't have to give up their seats. Is this just my personal experience, a consequence of urban living or just part and parcel of being pregnant in HK?
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I really don't think there are more rude people in HK than anywhere else. I may be naive about this but in my opinion it's just one more cross-cultural misunderstanding.
It's a bit of a trap to judge local cultural mores from a Western perspective. Things that we find rude might be perfectly acceptable to them, and vice-versa.
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It's normal. Happened to my wife as well and she is local. So you're not alone!
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Yep, happens all the time. I'm now well and truly pregnant at 28 weeks and last week my stomach was physically bumping into a young guy sitting and he just stared straight ahead, didn't even have the decency to pretend to be alseep!!!
Just the week before an older woman than me stood up and I nearly fell over from shock, but it was nothing compared to the next shock, she stood up for my 4 year old!!! When I said no to the woman, she kept insisting and I said, no thank you, she is okay standing, she just looked at me, and sat back down again!!! I just laughed, because it's either that or so help me I'll thump the living $#$$^*&#( out of someone!
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Ed
17 yrs ago
Please do not make negative generalizations about a race of people - this is racism:
http://www.asiaxpat.com/racism/
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Hi,
When I was pregnant I found the local people, actually the majority of people local / xpat very obliging. For example I was struggling with some bags one day and a young chappy took them off me, asked where I lived and walked home (about 200 metres) with me. On several other occasions taxi drivers risked life and limb to pick me up when I waved them down.
I never had to stand for longer than a few seconds on public transport and even now if I get on a train or bus with my daughter we are always offered seat.
I lived in Central whilst pregnant and later in DB after the baby arrived. My friend who lived in the NT didn't have it quite as easy though - BUT she thinks it's because she is quite a big person and that perhaps she was not as obviously pregnant. She joked about buying a t-shirt that said 'NOT fat just Pregnant!' in both English and Chinese.
I did however find some of the Xpat men rude when I was pregnant - this admittedly was the exception to the norm, most were very nice - particularly the men I work with.
Example of bad behaviour: I was 8 months pregnant last March, it was 7's Friday...I was waiting outside IFC2 in a very long taxi line, everyone in front was male and clearly heading for the 7's. I waited for 1.5 hours - not 1 man offered me his taxi. I know it was 7's and it's tough to get taxi etc. but they were all in groups and I was clearly heavily pregnant.
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Actually, i had a very positive experience during pregnancy, from my 4th month( when i started showing) I was always offered a seat. I think it may have only been once that i wasn't. Even when i take my baby on the MTR in my baby carrier now, i am always offered seats. My dad is always offered seats when he carries the baby as is my Mum (my dad gets pretty embarrassed though !). My mum is Chinese and my Dad is English so nothing to do with race.
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I am 36 weeks now, and experienced no manners of other commuters in Hong Kong. On a public bus, it is usually me and some very old locals with a walking stick, who are standing!
In my view lack of manners is endemic in Hong Hong, too many people competing for too little space. I had even experienced someone at Pacific Place frantically hitting a close the door button to close the lift doors in front of my nose to save 2 secs, sorry babe, you are too slow to get into this lift!
This is not the question of race but manners and upbringing. People are big egoists here, and seem to live by the me, me, me rules, irrespective of their race or origins. Oneupmanship and surrvival of the fittest at its finest.
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ania8888. While I will agree with some of that, I have lived in a place where, in my opinion, people are just as self-centered: Southwestern Connecticut. However, that was not reflected as much in their manners.
I think it's just a cultural thing. "I don't know you so you are not important to me."
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ania8888, I do feel bad that you are having such a negative experience but i do think that generalizations such as 'people are big egoists here' seems a little harsh. On holiday, i frequently come across a lack of manners but i do believe that it is not within my right to complain about their culture and attitude when i am on their soil. We can't expect everyone to live by the standards that we set and whilst i sympathize with you, i feel that it is unfair to all those people that have returned my lost purse (3 times), offered me seats and opened doors for me to not bring up the point that not everyone here is the same.
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I find it funny the way my obvious big belly becomes invisible when I get into the MTR trains.
Yesterday I had been standing for a couple of stations before a guy, who had been looking at me previously, probably suddenly decided it was time to show the colleagues he was with how polite he was and offered his seat (well, it turned out that he was getting off at the next station anyway). I told him that it was too late as I just had to travel only 2 more stations, and he told me that he didn't realize that I was pregnant as I was not wearing pregnancy clothes !!! Which I was, indeed.
So could somebody tell me what are the appropriate pregnancy clothes to wear in the trains that will show people that yes, this bump in front of me is a baby-to-be?
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Petie
17 yrs ago
I have to agree with Fighter4. I am always offered a seat on public transport. Also, people have been very good about holding doors open for me and even holding my arm when walking down steps!
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I think if you need to sit down then it its perfectly justified to ask for a seat if no one offers one. There are designated seats for pregnant, elderly and disabled passengers.
I have found that when I broke my ankle people were jumping up to let me have their seats. When I went down to no crutches and just a walking cast, I had to ask to sit because it wasn't so obvious.
If I'm standing and I notice someone who needs a seat more than the people sitting I point it out to them. I believe it is important to point out these negative behaviours and correct them.
And as far as someone not noticing you're pregnant. Some people just aren't observant. They honestly might not have noticed. Also, I went through this stage where everyone thought I was pregnant (When I wasn't!!!) and I'm not very large. I think it is good that people don't assume too much. But that is just my 2 cents.
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