Posted by
Sims
16 yrs ago
Hi, I'm new to this forum hope somebody can help.
My husband and I have completed the application form for adoption. We sent it over 2 weeks ago, and had no response from social services, is this normal? We expected some basic standard reply. Hope somebody can help,thanks
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Hi Sims,
Is this the application form that also has dates on it for the seminar evenings? If it is, I am pretty sure you wont hear from them. You fill out the form and make your preference for what dates you would prefer to attend the seminars and send it in. From memory I am pretty sure they will only contact you if there is a problem. You are meant to just show up for the seminars on the dates you requested.
There was an initial application form and then there was another more in depth application form so I hope I have given you the correct information.
My husband and I became parents to a gorgeous little girl a month ago. We attended our initial information session last September. If you want to talk about the process feel free to send me a PM.
Regards.
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Sims
16 yrs ago
Hi tommytommy
I'm new to this forum, I feel like an idiot asking this but how do I contact you and what does PM mean?
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Ed
16 yrs ago
PM = personal message. You may click Message to send a note to another member
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Hi Sims
There are lots of adoptive parents in this forum. You can send private messages to tommytommy as she kindly offered. Or you can just post your questions here and I am sure you will receive plenty replies. Just be specify with your questions to get correct answers. If you are expecting an answer from Social Services (SS).......my daughter's adoption was in 2003/2004 so the memory is a bit vague. We did get a reply (a letter) from them to turn us down because they said our marriage was not long enough. It had to be 5 years, if I m right. But ours was only 3. Anyway later I found out (other members kindly told us) that is SS's usual tactics to put some parents off so as to find out who really wants to adopt. To cut the story short, if you are in doubt if they receive your application or you simply want to know when and what to expect, dont be afraid to give them a ring. I found most of the staff there friendly, may be one or two are a bit business like. Please bear in mind Adoption system in Hong Kong is quite straightforward and 'transparent'. So stay positive and I wish you all the best.
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Hi Sims,
I have just re-read my last post and it was as clear as mud. Sorry about that.
Mighty has the right idea. If you are concerned, give the Social Welfare Department a call. We have found them to be mostly helpful. They will absolutely answer your queries.
As I mentioned before, if you would like to chat send me a personal message. If not, this is a great place to have your questions answered.
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Can anyone share their experiences as a single mum ?
Is it possible to adopt in Hong Kong ?
Any suggestions?
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Hi baligirl, I dont have actual experience on this. But I came across 2 cases. First one was in one of those adoption classes that I took with husband a few years ago, there was a single lady in the same class with us which means she was qualified to adopt. Second case was a good friend of mine. She is 40ish with sound financial background. From what I heard from her, Social Services Department's screening on her was exactly the same as ours so I wld say there is no discrimination. Her process in fact was gone thru all the way to the matching board and was matched with a girl. Sadly she didnt go ahead due to personal likings. So the possibility is there!!
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Hi, I was told that you need to live in Hong Kong for 12 months before you can lodge your application to adopt. Is that right?? Also, is there a requirement for how long you must live in Hong Kong after the adoption goes through. Its just that my family and I are about to arrive for a 2 year posting, we had started the adoption process in Australia and now want to go through it in Hong Kong.
Any thoughts
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Hi Emma,
Unfortunately you do need to live in Hong Kong for a minimum of 12 months before you can apply to adopt. In saying that our adoption took only 9 months from the first seminar to our little girls coming home.
As for how long you have to remain in Hong Kong .... the formal adoption process starts the day your little one comes home and takes 6 months to go through the courts. Ours will be finalized in December. Till then none of us can leave Hong Kong (my husband, myself or our daughter), after that we are free to come and go as we please.
Hope this helps.
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Hi Tommytommy,
You said your little girls' - did you gett siblings. We are open to adopting siblings as we already have 2 boys of our own and are more than happy to take two girls. Is there a an easier route - such as not putting in a preference for nationality etc or saying that you are open to taking siblings including one that is over 2 years old. We were told that we may have problems because preference is given to couples without children.
Emma
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Hi Emma,
I afraid that was a typo. We adopted one little girl.
The more open you are with your preferences, the more chance you have of your adoption being quicker. They do give preference to couples without children but that doesn't mean your adoption application won't be successful it may just take a little longer.
Best of luck with your adoption.
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Sarge
15 yrs ago
Hi everyone
We are considering adoption and would like to know how to contact social welfare and where to get an adoption application form. I have read all the messages about adoption and noticed that nobody has mentioned whether the children adopted via HK SW are Chinese or various nationalities? Sorry if this sounds like a stupid or weird question but my husband and I are both from 2 different cultures and so I just wondered if you can actually choose a nationality.
Thanks for your help in anticipation.
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FloS
15 yrs ago
You can contact Social Welfare at:
Room 201, 2/F., North Point Government Offices, 333 Java Road, North Point, Hong Kong
Tel. No.: 3595 1935
Fax No.: 3595 0025
Easiest is to call them to book a place at the briefing session, only after that point do you get any forms to complete. Bear in mind there is quite a long waiting list for briefing sessions - up to 6 months.
I'm afraid I can't help with your second question as I'm not that far in the process yet.
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Majority of the children are Chinese. There may be, on occassion, a Chinese mixed child or other Asian nationality. You can request, but it could take a very long time to get a particular nationality. On the same note, you can say no to a particular nationality too.
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Anyone had any good news lately? It's discouraging, not getting a call. Has anyone asked for older children (toddler)?
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jassy67,
Know how you feel. We're also waiting to be matched. We're asking for a younger child.
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Sims
15 yrs ago
We were accepted at the beginning of the year and went to see our social worker mid Jan to talk over a couple of issues, we have not heard anything since. We decided to wait till after April before ringing her up again, so she will get the call on Monday. When were you accepted? We are also asking for a younger child(3-5years) and were warned there could be a long wait. I know the social workers meet every second Thursday to match children, do you know anything different?
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Sims,
I was told by my social worker that the matching is every 1st and 3rd Thur of the month. Or maybe I might have been mistaken. I just know that its a Thursday that they do the matching. We were accepted in Feb.
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We've been waiting since January 09. This is our 2nd. adoption.
They do matching twice a month on a Thursday, usually 1st and 3rd Thursday. This month is May 7 and 21st.
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I wish everyone the best of luck in the process.
We too are waiting and have been in the pool of families for nearly 2 years. We are childless and have Chinese ancestry. it is a little bit different for us, because we are living in Australia, so going through the inter-country adoption system. Right now, we're wondering how much longer we should remain in the system before considering switching to another program and starting over... which breaks our hearts, because we really thought our child was in Hong Kong. :-(
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jassy67,
How long did your first adoption take?
childlessinoz,
What age did you specify? From my understanding, kids that go overseas are slight older, from 2 or 3 and up or special kids.
Really hoping and praying that this Thurs will be the day!
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Hi Sunniefaith,
Best of luck for this Thursday. :-)
We've requested up to 3 and are very open to almost every special need on the list. We started the adoption process in 2005 and our file went to Hong Kong mid 2007... and we're still waiting. :-( Not quite sure what to do at this point...
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childinoz,
Wow....waiting since 2005! If HK doesnt work out, have you thought of Vietnam? A friend visited an orphanage there and he was very touched by them.
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Hi sunniefaith,
Unfortunately Australia doesn't have an adoption agreement with Vietnam at this stage, so that is not an option for us.
We have a strong desire to adopt from Hong Kong as my husband has Chinese background, including many relatives in Hong Kong. So it will be a difficult step for us to withdraw our file from the program - if it has to come to that.
It's just upsetting that we haven't been considered for a child yet. We're in our early 30s, professional, have a great support network etc. All our friends tell us we'd make wonderful parents. It's just a pity our friends aren't making the decisions in the adoption unit. :-)
Again - all the best of luck to you and everyone else in the process.
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Our first adoptiong took 4 months, from the day we were approved to the day we got the call. I have heard the 2nd. one can take longer though.
Wow, I am so surprised childlessinoz has waited for so long!! Have you been in touch with them? What about China or you still prefer HK?
Vietnam closed again for adoption, due to some Americans baby selling AGAIN.
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Jassy - wow - that's so fast.... We'd give anything to receive a referral so quickly.
Jassy - very sad about the Vietnam program - I don't know how people could do such a thing.
We're a little surprised, too - particularly as we are aware that people with Chinese background/ childless people/ people with a high level of education (my husband has a phD) are given "preference."
Unfortunately we're not allowed to contact the adoption unit in Hong Kong directly, as all contact has to go through the department in Australia. It's been very tempting, but we won't do anything that might jeopardize our chances. We are assured our file has not gone missing. So we have to just sit back and wait. :-(
We'd definitely consider the China program, but can only have our file in one place at a time. Unfortunately the wait has blown out incredibly for mainland China. Families sending their file off to China now can expect a wait of 5-8 years. Yes, seriously! What a change from a wait of 6 months only a few short years ago.
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childless - Amazing to hear 5-8 years wait in China. There are sooo many parentless children there. Also, many in Vietnam. I do volunteer work in a Vietnam Orphanage and there are just so many wonderful adorable children available. I wish I could adopt from there.
Has anyone had any good news over the past few matching panels?
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childlessinoz.....
IF you decide to try another Country, try Vietnam. They may have re-opened again. I have corresponded with Allison at Adopt Vietnam who is Australian and has adopted from Vietnam. She is very helpful.
http://www.adoptvietnam.org/index.htm
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jassy67,
I did actually hear news from SWD. My case worker called but it was very heartbreaking for me to have to turn the child down. It was one of the hardest decision to make and we're back to the pool. It was a match that we felt the grandparents will not be able to accept. Namely my in laws. And we don't want an adopted child to grow up in a family where grandparents do not love him.
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sunniefaith,
sorry to hear that. Yes, it would be difficult in a situation like that. I do know of another family who have turned down 3 children already.
If you don't mind me asking, what was the age of the child? Baby, toddler?
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The baby is 2 months. We didn't see the baby at all.
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what was wrong with the baby sunniefaith?
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Baligirl,
There was nothing wrong with the child. Please do not label me as racist as I've feltsh*tty enough. The child's mum is Chinese and Dad is from Bangladash. We're ethically Chinese from Singapore and will know that my in laws will not be able to accept the child. We want the child to go up in a family that will accept him fully and love him unconditionally. We felt that we won't be able to give the child that environment and it will be better for the child to go to another loving family.
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sunniefaith,
Very good reason. And thoughtful to think of the child's future
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Thanks jassy67. I felt guilty the whole weekend and cried buckets on Thursday night when I had to say no.
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It seems things are moving along nicely, My wife and I got matched with a beautiful, healthy 2.5 month old girl on last thursdays matching panel. She comes home tomorrow morning. FYI we asked for a girl only and have been waiting since approval end of Dec. Whole process from first application to bubba coming home 10.5 months. Good luck to everyone.
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Congrats Melandscott!!!
I sounds like there have been a number of very young babies It is our second adoption, which I understand can take a little longer.
Good luck to everyone
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childlessinoz, have u head anything? I know there have been a few older kids 2-5 yrs old.
Good luck to everyone for this weeks matching panel (the 4th)
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Congrats MelandScott! What wonderful news - and it happened so quickly!
Jassy - no, we still haven't heard anything.
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Good Luck to everyone in this Thursday's panel!!
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Thanks missdj! We're praying and hoping that it'll happen soon.
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sunniefaith, any good news from your end? Nothing for us... getting discourged, as we will be moving from HK next year and time is running short. I spoke to our social worker and there were only 2 children in the last panel. Not many children available in HK.
Has anyone gone through ISS, (International adoption) here in HK? To adopt from China, PH or India?
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jassy67,
Nope, we haven't heard anything. We trying very hard not to be discouraged. We know that everything happens for a reason. We're thinking that we might try ISS sometime. Or may look at other options by next summer.
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sunniefaith,
We are tying not to be discouraged too, but it has been 7 months since approved and nothing. No call.
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rwbhk
15 yrs ago
childlessinoz
when we adopted in HK we were told that childen were only put up for international adoption after a matching process of ....
1. local child to local family (ethnicity considered)
2. local child to different nationality than childs ethnicity
3. local child to overseas pool allocation
wih the long lists of adoptive parents within HK, i would be asking for clarification from SWD of the % of children making O/Seas allocation based on what we were told - not sure if it is official policy, bu it is likely to reflect reality
good luck
we waited 2 years for a match
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Hi rwbhk,
Thanks for this information. We were informed that the children always go to local homes as a first resort, and we feel this is generally the best for the children- especially when the children are able to be placed with a family of the same ethnic origin.
However, when we sent our file to HK 2 years ago, many families in our state had recently been allocated children from Hong Kong. Even single mothers (not saying single mothers are less than ideal - I just know that HK prefer to send the children to a family with a mum and a dad) were only waiting around 18 months for under 2 year olds! So..... we made our decision based on previous trends.
I guess the situation has changed a lot in recent years, with an influx of expatriate families to HK. Unfortunately we didn't foresee this.
Last month we asked our social worker to write to ISS in HK and ask about the likelihood of us receiving a referral within the next few years. The answer was that this would be almost impossible.
Needless to say, we have been left with no choice but to withdraw our file from Hong Kong. We are heartbroken, as this is where we really thought our child was going to come from, and we have such strong familial ties with Hong Kong. However it is an Australian government requirement that we are only able to have our file in one place at a time, and as a childless couple, we are not in the position to wait around for 10 years in the hope that one day we might be blessed with a referral.
We wish everyone the very best in their quest to forming their family. We thank you all for your support.
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Sims
15 yrs ago
Hi quintin
We were approved at the end of Dec 08, and got "the call" last week. Our case is now going to the matching panel, (we have been told it is just a formality). We felt that we were never going to be matched, because our criteria was for an older child (3-6 years). Don't give up hope, you will get that special telephone call. Can anybody tell me when the next meeting is at Red?
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Hi all,
The next meeting at Red will be 24th September. We are meeting the last Thursday of the month at 7pm. I post a little update on the thread - Adoption Process Waiting Group Thread each month as a reminder and to see who is coming.
Fingers crossed I will be in Ethiopia for the next one - but my husband will go. Or I could still be here (always likely with adoption). Quintin, awesome news about getting the call. I am so happy for you.
Cheers
Emma
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Sims, great news about getting the call. So happy for you. Did you get an older child? I know the feeling. We have 1 adopted child, and was so thrilled to get the call.
quintin, we were approved Jan. 3, 2009, and still waiting, impatiently.
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Does anyone know if there were many babies or children available in the last matching panel? We've been waiting since Feb and it seems like it's been forever.
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Waiting forever too, sunniefaith :(
There were 2 children available - 1 month old and an older one, I think around 20 months. As I remember they went to Chinese families.
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Thanks jassy67. Just wondering if anyone calls their case worker on the matching days?
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sunniefaith, sounds like u and u are a month apart in our waiting. We were approved Jan and you in Feb. It is very discouraging, but not much we can do.
I phone our case worker every few weeks or so, not matching days. Often on the following Monday.
Are either you or your husband Asian?
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Hi all,
Just wondering how you are finding out how many children are on each matching panel? Is there a way to find out?
Nadine
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Hi jassy67,
We're both Chinese from Singapore. We're trying to keep our head up and not be disappointed. We've not called or contacted our case worker since we were matched the in May and we turned that down. There are days that I wake up and really wished that we said yes to that match. Oh well, what's done has been done and we'll wait patiently again.
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Yes, I remember now, sunniefaith. I think u did the right thing in saying no to the match, for the reasons u mentioned. ow, I thought for sure you would have been matched already, with both of you being Chinese.
Nadine, as I said above, I make a call to our case worker every few weeks. Or once a month, just after the second panel, and ask questions. I don't pester, but I don't let her forget us.
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Hi jassy67,
Well, that's what I thought so too. But guess, it's not after all. Maybe I might do the same thing like you. Give my case worker a call once a month. Don't want him to forget about us. We're also thinking of looking into the option of adopting from China now. But we're being prayful about this and we'll wait and see first.
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sunniefaith, it doesn't hurt to give a monthly call. Ours doesn't seem to mind. I just don't call weekly or be a pest.
We are looking into Vietnam. Try calling ISS and see what info they can give you regarding China. A friend of mine in Canada is going thru the China process, but have been told it is a 2 year wait. (seems silly, as there r sooo many children)
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jassy67, what a 2 year wait? Gee! That's a long time for China. Do you know how long is the wait for Vietnam? I totally agree with you. There's like heaps and heaps of children in China and Vietnam. Why make these poor kids wait?
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sunniefaith, I would call ISS to check the wait for China. That is what I have been hearing from people. It is due to stricter rules China has put into effect. As for Vietnam, I am looking at Vietnam cause I volunteer in an orphanage there. Unfortunately, last I knew I couldn't do Vietnam while living in HK, as the 2 Countries do not have an adoption agreement. Since we are leaving HK next year, we can pursure Vietnam in our home Country. It is our back up plan.
Unfortunately, this is our last month, that we can accept a child here in HK, as we will be leaving in 6 months. I thought we would have been matched by now, as it has been almost 9 months. Our first adoption we only waited 4.5 months.
Yes, both Vietnam and China have so mny children, it is so sad.
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jassy67, thanks. I'll probably give ISS a call about the next matching panel. Do you have a copy of The List (free mag). This issue is about babies and they have a section on adoption. There's a number listed, the organization is in Taipo. I think the lady deals with adoption from China too. Maybe you can give her a call. Sorry, offhand, I can't think of the name of the organization. The magazine is at home.
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Hi,
Sunniefaith and Jassy, whilst the ISS does not have a program with Vietnam - if you are ex-pats you may be able to adopt privately from Vietnam. I am doing this with Ethiopia at the moment and there are others going through Cambodia and Armenia around. It doees depend on your home country - I am Australian. But I believe UK citizens can do this as well.
Also, the shortest wait program with ISS is Russia. It is more expensive as they use an American Adoption Agency on the Russian end. But there are a couple in our adoption waiting group who are going down this route so they would be able to tell you more.
If you check out the adoption waiting group thread you will see that we meet up once a month on the last Thursday of each month and share info. As there is no text book for these things - especially as expats - so sharing info is useful..
Hope you can join us next time.
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Thanks Jassy67. I didn't realize our case workers would give us that kind of info. It's good to know. Good luck to all for this Thursday!
Nadine
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Thanks emma. Unfortunately, it won't help me, with leaving HK next year. Good route for others though.
Good luck to everyone this week in HK's matching!!
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Hi Emma,
Thanks for the info. Sorry to ask this but do you have any info on adopting from Vietnam or Cambodia? We're from Spore. We'll try to make it for this month's meeting. So glad to know that I'm not the only one waiting.
And yes, good luck to everyone! Hopefully one of us will be matched! And remember to share the good news!
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Is silence good news? For us, it isn't.......... no call.
Anyone else have some news?
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jassy67,
Isn't the matching next week? Thought it's every first and third Thurs of the month? And no call for us too.
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sunniefaith, usually it is. But not always. It was last Thursday.
When I phone at the end of the month, I ask when the dates are for the following 2 months. So I know for September and October.
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Oh....so what's the dates for Sept and Oct then? Trying to hard not to be discouraged.
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September 24th. October 8th and 22nd.
Basically every 2 weeks, unless there are holidays on that day, then it messes it up.
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Jassy 67, thanks heaps! Know when to pray really hard now.
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lmbtv
15 yrs ago
Hello Everyone,
I'm an award winning television producer from NY currently living in lovely Hong Kong. I'm delighted to be coordinating a Charity Dinner benefitting Cambodian Children living among landmines.
The exhibit 'Living with LandMines' by photographer V. Tony Hauser, 16 life-size portraits of Cambodian children who had survived a landmine accident, will be on display. This exhibit gives a voice to the people who experience life amidst armed conflict and demonstrates how citizens continue to suffer in the wake of war.
In addition to the life-size photographs we have arranged for speakers and a film, including :
- V. Tony Hauser, the Canadian photographer (and landmines activist) who is taking his exhibit around the world (www.vtonyhauser.com)
- Aki Ra, the former child soldier, who founded the landmine museum/school/hospital NGO facility in Cambodia (www.cambodialandminemuseum.org)
-We will also have Bill Morse from the US, who is moving to Cambodia to devote his efforts to Aki Ra's work full time.
Please Join Us:
Oct. 14 Private Dinner at Crown Wine Cellars
It will be a wonderful evening of drinks, dinner etc. as Tony Hauser, Aki Ra and Bill Morse speak to a more intimate group. Proceeds will go to the CLMMRF.
We are working hard on this event and want to extend the invitation to people who might be interested. I can be reached via email at lmbtv@optonline.net. If you or anyone you know would like to join us for dinner and conversation with others in support of children in Cambodia, please don't hesitate to contact me for additional details.
All the Best,
lmbtv
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No good news for us. Anyone else get a phone call?
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jass67,
Same here.....no news. Was a little disappointed but at the same time, was trying to console myself that there's always the next fortnight.
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Heard there were only 2 children in the last panel. Just not many kids here in HK.
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Only 2? Maybe that's why. Well, just have to continue to pray and hopefully he or she will come soon. Real soon!
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sunniefaith and anyone else, any good news ?? Someone out there must have gotten a call........ wwe didn't. :(
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Hi, we were approved in February 2009. Still no match. So frustrating.
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jassy67,
Still no match for us too! Like you, we're getting a little discouraged, actually more than a little discouraged. Am seriously thinking of China wonder if it's going to be faster.
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sunniefaith,
yes, we are getting more and more discouraged. No sure what to do, as we will be leaving HK early next year, and time is/has run out. I can't believe it has been over 10 months that we were approved............ and Nothing. And we have not been choosy; open to child up to 5 yearas old and either sex.
sunniefaith; Have you been more choosy? I am surprised you are still waiting, with you both being Chinese.
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jassy23,
We've actually loosened our criteria. But it's still a bit of a wait. We don't want a drug addict or drinking mum. No prostitute mum too. No abandoned babies and no HIV too. I don't think that being choosy right. Well, still hoping against hope and going to make a call to ISS tomorrow to see what they say.
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sunniefaith, no I don't think that os choosy/picky at all. Basically same as us. You want a newborn or under 1 yr., right?
Did you talk to ISS? Any luck?
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jassy67,
We're now looking at under 18 months. We've not called ISS yet. We may drop of the adoption plan too. Hubby may be moving to Spore to work next year and so we're like you, in a limbo. We're hoping to be matched by Feb and if not, I may try to see if I can adopt as a single parent. Lots of uncertainties at this point of time.
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sunniefaith,
your criteria is pretty tight in terms of adoption. Most children that are available from adoption are in that situation because their mother's cant take care of them. This often means some kind of drinking or drug abuse in the mother's history. I dont understand why a mother who is a prostitute is a problem - they are in that situation due to economic situations and lack of family love and support in the first place. Little girls dont grow up dreaming of that lifestyle and nor is a career a hereditary trait.
So basically you want a well -rounded woman with no emotional problems leading to alcohol or economic troubles leading to prostitution. Also not abandoned - so someone who is happy to have the child. Um, what makes you think there are dozens of women who go through with a pregnancy in this situation that would want to put their child up for adoption. Mothers usually do it as a last resort because something is wrong in their life - not as a first choice when they are in control of their life.
On a brighter note - adoption through Singapore is quiet easy especially if you look outside the country. But it usually involves poor countries whose women give up children because their own life has fallen apart and so have some of the problems you are not open to, or abandon them. Open your criteria - a little child is not to blame for the hard life or poor decisions of their birth mother.
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emma dellemma,
I believe that anyone and everyone is entitled to make their decisions based on their convictions and what they can deal with. If you think that my criteria is tight, so be it. The reality for us is that if we don't get matched with a child, we'll deal with it. We want to be able to accept a child that we can love unconditionally and wholeheartedly. Thanks and of course I know that a little child is not to be blamed for the hard life or poor decision of their birth mother but respect our personal views.
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FCR
15 yrs ago
Emma dilemma
I have just read your post to Sunniefaith and I am absolutely staggered by your attitude to somebody else's viewpoint as regards adoption criteria. How dare you victimize and vilify sunnie for a decision which has absolutely nothing to do with you.
The adoption process is a very intense, stressful and personal journey. At what stage of the process are you now? Do you understand how difficult it is to complete the numerous forms on the subject of preference and wonder what the subsequent outcome may be? The process isn't a shopping list, but we have to be realistic as to what we can cope with. The process calls for prospective parents to be honest with themselves and their expectations.
At the end of the day, personal preferences are just that, personal. To target, demean and pontificate to another in such a flippant manner is cruel and thoughtless.
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Thanks heaps FCR! Really appreciate it.
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Hmmm, emma, must say. that is pretty harsh.
You must remember, everyone has there own PERSONAL preferences. Whether it be family home life, other children involved in the home, extended family, or what THEY as a family can accept or deal with, or limitations.. Myself for example, do not want a newborn or under 10 months, for our own Personal reasons.
That is why it is called "Personal Preferences"
WE have had a very trying/difficult time over the past years with our previous adoption. It is not always an easy process
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Vilification?? - victimise?? I do apologise sunniefaith for the sarcasm in my post - it was insensitive and judgemental and I do regret it- but the points remain valid in what is the reality of orphans and adoption.
The question was "am I being to picky" - relating to "why is this taking so long". Given the perspective on how children become orphans I was answering " it is taking so long because the criteria was narrow".
I am along way down the adoption process. We have gone through the process in two countries as an adoptive parent and changed countries and broadened our criteria. We have also said no to a child because she didnt fit. UNfortunately the country we are dealing with throws children at you based on how generous they think you are rather than what you state in your preferences. So I am not saying this with no experience. We will have our daughter before Christmas - although not from Hong Kong.
Sunniefaith - you asked if your criteria was too tight. I was highlighting that orphaned children are always the victims of unfortunate circumstances - that is they cant be raised by their birth mothers in physical and emotional safety. The way birth mothers were referred to as undesireables if they had a history with alcohol, or if they chose to abandoned their child somewhere where they will be found and go into the adoption system just rubbed me up the wrong way. I have so much sympathy for the birth mother - sometimes they feel so ashamed about putting their child up for adoption abandonment is what they see as the only way out. Mum's in China until recently couldnt put their children up for adoption without being criminally charged - hence abandonment was their only option. They often stand in the crowd to ensure that someone picks up their baby.
We had preferences - actually not that different to you Jassy67 - but our criteria still fit 70% of kids who were available for adoption in the country we chose. I just thought ruling out abandonment, alcohol, drug, prostitution - really really does mean that the criteria is very narrow. The question was asked and the facts are clear if you look at the number of orphans who are somehow put up for adoption without any of those factors.
Sorry sunniefaith again for the tone of my first response. I really hope you get matched before your husband goes to Singapore. I have friends who adopted through Cambodia whilst there. FCR, I can see you are angry at my response- but nowhere in my email did I attack the person and lash out emotionally at anyone. Consider the question at hand and perhaps address the issue Sunniefaith is facing with the timeframes that are in place.
We are all facing the same painful processes and personal decisions that affect our families - we also need to be realistic about what adoption is all about - children needing families and our desire to have children in our life.
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emma dilemma,
Apology accepted.
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sunniefaith or anyone else,
Anyone get the call last week?
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jassy67,
No call at all. Nothing
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So discouraging.........
The next panel will be our last, not looking so good. We will be leaving HK end of February, so it is already running to late. I was willing to stay here for 2 extra months, but now it is pushing it.
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jassy67,
Will keep you in prayers. I know how it feels. We're almost in the same situation as you.
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Thanks Cara for always being really encouraging. And yes, we're still waiting. And we're prepared to wait for a child that we know and are prepared to deal with. We're not just going to take any child and then realise in a few months or years that it's too much for us and try to give up. Adoption is for life and we want to be certain that the child we adopt, we can love him or her for life and unconditionally.
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sunniefaith, good luck for this Thursday. Sure hope you get some positive news.
This Thursday is our last chance for adoption in HK. May try something back in our home Country if nothing happens this week.
Good luck everyone !
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Jassy67, same to you! Really hope that there'll be good news for you!
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Jassy 67,
did you hear anything? We didn't get any calls. But we're fine. Going to wait and if nothing really comes through by next Feb, we may look at other options.
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No, no call for us either. So that is it. We will have to go thru the process in our home Country (maybe try Vietnam)
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jassy67,
I'm sorry to hear that. We're going to be making calls to check around for adoption in China. Vietnam did come to mind as well. If you don't mind telling me, where are you from?
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sunniefaith, we are from Canada
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jassy67,
Really hope that things will work out for you in Canada. All the best.
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Thanks sunniefaith.
Hope you get the call real soon.
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sunniefaith, was last week a good week? if not, I think this will be a good month.
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jassy67,
No, didn't get the call at all. But we're now decided to say ok to unknown paternity and abandoned baby.
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sunniefaith, sending u a PM
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sunniefaith, have u had any news this month?
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jassy67,
No news. Nothing at all. Will probably give my case worker a call sometime this week or next.
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sunniefaith,
Sorry to hear. Was hoping for some good news for u.
I will call ours this week to take our name out. We just wanted to see if there would be any call, but nothing. We move in 4 weeks.
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jassy67,
Wow, you're moving that fast? Wish you all the best. Really hope that in some way a miracle will turn up for you!
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My heart breaks for all of you who wait. We know the feelings all too well as we have been waiting for our child from the mainland since early 2007 - and still waiting. We came to HK in March of 2007 and have just now decided to pursue a local adoption as well. I thought that this would be a quicker process but from what I can tell from your experiences we are in for another long wait.
Wishing you all lots of patience and hope as you/we continue our wait.
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Does anyone know the matching dates for Jan and Feb?
Stilli, which agency or who did you go for adoption from Mainland? We're thinking of opening up our options too.
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Hi Sunnifaith
I am American, my husband is Swiss, so we are with a US agency called Great Wall. If I can be of any help to you let me know.
I am having a hard time getting in touch with anyone at Social Services. I have left multiple messages and no one has called back. I know there is a wait list for the seminar so I am desperate to make contact so we can get started. Any inputs would be appreciated.
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hi Stilli,
When I made the call for the seminar, I called to the main line and spoke to someone. I don't remember having to call a number of times. 3595 1935, this is the number that I called to. Hopefully, something will come up for you soon. Did you get in touch with the US agency when you got to HK or when you were still in the States?
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Somebody called me back this afternoon from Social Services - finally! We had a nice chat and she asked me numerous questions prior to inviting me to the seminar - unfortunately we are away during the feb date and the next one is not until march 23!!! oh well. Little concerned though bc she told me we could only start a HK adoption if we interrupt our adoption from the mainland!! Not sure we want to do that as we are already so emotionally attached after an almost 3 year wait. And if she had given me an indication that things could go quicker with HK perhaps we would have an easier time making a decision but she said that because we are not of Asian decent it would be a very long wait. :(
Sunnyfaith - Regarding our adoption process with China. Believe it or not we started the process when we were living in Zurich Switzerland. Had we waited and started the process once we lived here we would have been put on an expedited track because HK is a part of China - and would likely already have our child! Apparently they (the CCAA- China Center of Adoption Affairs) do not expedite expats any more. The rules are always changing though.
Seems like no matter which route we take we are in for a long wait. So upsetting when there are so many children who are waiting for forever families.
Feeling very discouraged.
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sunniefaith
yes the time came so fast. I can't believe it ! I have been so busy that I forgot to call Social Services. Today our worker called out of the blue, to see if we are staying here for February and to give us an update. mainly said alot of babies under 4 months have been adopted. Our preference is over 6 months.
stilli, when we started the HK adoption process the fist time, we were advised you can only have 1 file (adoption Country) open at a time
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stilli,
So are you going for the seminar on the 23rd? Just go and have an idea of how things work. Plus, there's another 2 workshops following the seminar to attend and as usual, there's a long waiting list too.
jassy67,
Really hope that things will pan out for you. Keep me updated, ok?
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Hi Sunnifaith - Yes we will go on the 23rd and learn more. Didnt realize there were 2 more workshops to also attend. It is a good thing that they do such heavy screening but the wait is so hard. How long have you been waiting if I may ask? Hope you get some good news soon!
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stilli,
I've been waiting since Feb 09. But having said that, we did reject a baby because we felt that my in laws will not accept the baby. It was a very heartbreaking thing to do.
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Hi Sunniefaith - sent you a pm so we can continue discussion off line.
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sunniefaith, we pulled out of the matching panels as of today. So sad after waiting for 1 year for the call.
Have workshops line up in Canada for Philippine adoption and Vietnam
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jassy67,
I feel for you. Am kinda in the same shoes. But I called my caseworker last Fri and he gave me lots of ideas. Will speak to hubby this weekend and hopefully, something will come up for us soon.
I hope things will pan out for you soon! Looking forward to hearing good news from you!
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Hi I am new to the forum, we are soon relocating to HK. We are Australian citizens. We have one daughter adopted in australia ( took 5 years) we would like to adopt from Russia. Is this possible while living in HK? Any advice would be GREATLY appreciated, agencies, requirements, anything.....thanks so much
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Hi Melsif,
I really have no idea with that. Hopefully, some others might be able to give you an idea.
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joga
14 yrs ago
I (australian) have adopted a child while living in abroad. Once the adoption was finalised in the country my child was born we then brought him in as a tourist to the country we were expating in and added him to my husbands visa as a dependant. Once that was settled we applied for dual australian citizenship for him and there in didn't have to go through the Australian adoption process which some of us know is a huge pain GO Deborah-lee furness. My situation is different from yours in that my husband had citizenship in the country we adopted from. Confusing story I know but I hope you can make sense of if find it useful.
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FloS
14 yrs ago
Melsif,
Adopting from Russia is possible while living in Hong Kong. You need to contact International Social Services in order to get more information. If I remember correctly they have ties with Russia, China, Thailand, India and the Philippines. I think of the above list of countries having a Russian adoption done is the fastest.
Tel: 2834 6863
They also have a website which gives a little bit of information but it is best to phone them.
Hope that helps.
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Hi Melsif,
Good news for you here. I am an Australian ex-pat living in Hong Kong and we adopted from Ethiopia just in the last 6 months. You have to live overseas for 12 months - then the consulate here will give you a letter saying that you can adopt and Australia will recognise the adoption providing it is legal in the country of the childs origin. I was the second Australian dealing with the consulate here so they are getting to know the process. We got our Australian Adoption Visa whilst in Ethiopia - it was a push but the lady in the consulate was really helpful. The good thing is you can get the Australian Consulate in Russia to contact one of the Australian Consulates in other countries who have recently done ex-pat adoptions. This includes (now) Ethiopia, Armenia and Cambodia. The Russian program is the quickest that ISD has here in Hong Kong. We did ours privately on this end (through an Ethiopian Faciliator for Belgium at the other end) and it took 6 months from go to wo. It was a lot of paperwork - so when you get here PM me and I will send you all the lists you need for dossiers, visa applications and so on.
One thing - before you leave Aust get 3 copies of your birth certificates and marriage certificates from the register of births deaths and marriages. It will save the hassle later. Unfortunately the police check will be out of date by the time you adopt so no point doing that now.
PM when you want to know more.
Emma
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Thanks everyone for the advice. We are looking forward to the move and an adoption that won't take 5 years like our last one! Thanks Emma, will be sure to bring multiple originals of certificates with us.
Mel
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Hi
Has anyone adopted from the Philippines, I am UK citizen but living in Hong Kong.
D
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Hi all, I realise I am at least a year or two late in this conversation but we are just starting the whole process and are looking to do a stint in HK for a year or two and are excited at the possiblility that adoption there may be possible, much more so than in Australia where it's approx 5 years wait! Is anyone from this thread still around and can shed some updated light on the situation? I read the whole thing and am interested in how and when all your matches were made!
Interesting to read about Russia being relatively quick too...
Thanks in anticipation for any news/advice
Cheers, Briezer
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