Posted by
madam x
16 yrs ago
went in for 2nd u/s yesterday to see heartbeat--at 8 weeks, was none. told i will miscarry in 7-10 days. have a med. size cyst on my ovary that he says will disappear with the pregnancy. this is my seccond m/c in a year. first one was diagnosed as a blighted ovum. i just turned 40. my husband is 39. he has no kids. i have 2 kids from previous--18yo and 15 yo. both pregnancies normal and healthy, although a long time ago. dr says this as well as last m/c are pure chance--bad luck. a 'blessing', which my rational mind can understand if there were abnormalities. my heart hurts, though. i love my dr. he has been my obgyn for the past 5 years. he did the surgery for my fibroid 3 years ago. i just feel that there is something more going on here. he wouldnt really discuss any issues with my eggs or hubbies sperm. i really want to have a baby with my husband. any similar situations out there with happy endings? i am not getting any younger. is there a doctor that you might recommend that might take my questions seriously, or am i over-reacting? a doctor that could check hubbies sperm to see that all is good/ok? a doctor that will check my egg/hormone levels? i know that they will do tests on the tissue after a 3rd m/c, but i/hubby really do not want to go through this pain again. and i do not want to 'waste' precious time. any input would be nice. thanks.
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ykt
16 yrs ago
I am very sorry to hear your loss. I also had miscarriage at 9weeks (the hearbeat was gone although we were able to see it once) - only that I did not go into spontaneous misscarrige for 2 weeks and had to be operated on. At the time of the operation, I was offered by my doctor that they can run the test on the embryo if we really wanted to know the reason why the baby did not develop. However, this was our first miscarriage (we had difficulty getting pregnant for which we had our doctors help previously) and both the doctor and we agreed it was not necessary. I was able to get pregnant again about 6 month after the miscarriage and now I have a healthy baby. My doctors were Dr. Milton Leung and Dr. Alexander Doo at Womens Clinic in Cetral. They helped us getting pregnant with the first two kids and also with two spontenious pregnancies (one of which was the miscarriage). They may be able to help you with running some tests to help you better understand.
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Sorry to learn about ur miscarriage.I just had my 2nd miscarriage a week or two,
it should be 4 weeks now if i hadnt lose the baby at it was conceived when i spent my vacation in australia with my fiance.I alos have 2 kids from my previous marriage and they're 12 and 7 now. When i had my 1st miscarriage,i was only 21 and now that i'm turning 32 this coming 17 march,i'm scared for being not to conceive and have the baby completely. At the age of 25,i have suffered from hypertension and the attack was tolerable. When i had the worse attack of skyrocketing blood pressure 6 mos ago, the doctor has given me this maintenance medication as to stabilize or to keep my bp at a level. The doctor told the reason why i had this miscarriage due to the med i have taken for my bp at the same time i am also anemic and taking iron supplement. I was so upset that i lose the baby but i have no choice but to lose the baby as i was bleeding for 2 weeks. I know it wasnt the right time for me to have the baby yet and so i discussed it with my fiance and both agreed that i must completely stop the meds once we try to have another one. I'm feeling guilty though and a little despressed. I hope you could overcome your loss.
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thank you ykt. its a place for us to start. supernovababe17-i feel your pain. 32 is still a good age for conceiving! iron supplements should not interfere with conceiving or carrying. might make you feel sick, but will not cause miscarriage. be gentle with yourself. i do believe that some souls are meant to come into this world and some are not, for whatever reason. and i am NOT a religious person. it feels good to be able to express feelings and emotions and thoughts here. women/mothers know. be gentle with yourself. guilt and depression are normal, i believe, just dont let it overtake all that is good in your life. thanks for sharing.
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AnneG
16 yrs ago
Hello Madam,
Like you I had 2 miscarriages before having my two wonderful children. It is something I will never get over as there was never a reason why it should happen. I used to see so many pregnant women and wonder why them and not me. I started trying to have a family late and that was always given as the reason, but it was hard to accept. I ended up having my children at 39 and 41 years of age and never really attached to them inutero until they were safe in my arms. I actually had an appointment with a fertility specialist the day I got confirmed pregnant (and cancelled it). I also changed gyno's each time I miscarried - just felt like bad karma to go back or I wanted more help, I guess. My husband's granny had 5 miscarriages before having her 3 children and she never told anyone about them until I had mine as her husband didn't want to know and there was no one else for her to turn to, not even her children knew about them. I cried torrents for her and she was able to have someone to sympathise with and grieve with after all of those years - we had a real bonding. So in one sense my miscarriages helped someone.
It is something that you will take a long time to get over, but don't give up and keep trying. Just wait about 6 months after each one as your body needs to recover and do try a new doctor, just so you feel fully informed and comfortable. Tell your history, but don't mention the other doctor's name (it can be overseas).
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Hello Madam x,
I'm 40 yo, and been through 4 miscarriages, 2 in the same year when I was 37. There is always a reason why it happens, for you or for the embryo, but I also know that it hurts, when you see your hopes disappearing so quick.
I've made lots of tests, hormones, uterus shape, blood tests (by the way, if you miss ferritin, it may also cause mc as your body knows there is not enough iron for both of you), and I was diagnosed with a very small coagulation problem. So small that my doctor thought it couldn't be the reason. I went to see another doctor, and she took this problem seriously.
For the next pregnancy, I've immediately received a treatment corresponding to my problem, an I'm now a mum of a healthy boy.
Maybe you should insist to do a few tests, to make sure all your levels are good or sufficient, try to boost your system, your energy your progesterone levels etc... if there is nothing at least you know, and if there is something, it will be easy to find a treatment.
Good luck !
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...you're probably better off seeking professional advice from a doctor qualified in such issues. I'm sure there are many women out there who have had miscarriages and have gone on to have children, but chances are, they will not have any idea why it happened to them either. If it's emotional support you're after, that's a different matter and should probably be kept seperate from professional advice. But I think it's safe to say that miscarriages are not uncommon.
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RA
16 yrs ago
Hi! madam x , sorry to hear abt ur loss. Be strong and positive. I don't know what your nationality is but we Asians don't eat certain fruits when we get pregnant..since it is said to lead to miscarriages. One of them is papaya. In olden times women were given Papaya in India/Persia to avoid pregnancy. Till date we Indians avoid having it when preg. This is just my 2 cents..and may or may not be applicable in ur case. All the best for ur next pregnancy.
BTW, my gynaec was Philip Ho..who is an excellent doc and also runs fertility treatments. He is in Central.
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Yes, I agree with RA. I am Chinese, and according to our traditions: there are many "rules" we have to follow before, during and after the pregnancy.
In fact, I am planning to have one, and I am in my mid 30s. I have read a lot of books since I want to have a physically and mentally health baby. According to Chinese, good blood circulation in a woman gives a nice "environment" for your baby. Some food are too "cold" to affect your blood circulation, which makes your womb contracts. I'm NOT a doctor, so I will be seeing a Chinese doc to "adjust" my blood circulation and other aspects which I sincerely hope will make me easier to get pregnant and "create a healthy place (womb)" for my baby.
No matter you believe it or not, it doesn't matter.
Wishing you all (and myself) ALL THE VERY BEST with pregnancy. ^_^
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just a few more words... of course, I will see a western doc as well, which is a MUST to get all the scentific check-ups during pregnancy.
I believe we have to get a balance and advantage from both EAST and WEST.
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Hi Madam X
MC is a very sad experience...I had two MC once with my previous husband 10 years ago and recently. Both times I was told "it just happen" or "its nature way of telling us this was not right". For my first MC its was blighted ovum, turn out to be a blessing as my marriage did not work out.
Second MC disheartening...we saw Doc at wk 5 before last year CNY and was told its too early for heart beat. After CNY holiday, heart beat was not located at wk 7. So somehow...did not develop a heart beat during CNY...
After my second MC, both Chinese and Western docs send me and my husband to lots of test. All tests turn out fine. Western doc told me to take a month break before we try again. Chinese doc want 3 months as he needed time to regulate my body with herbs and accupuncture.
When I was finally pregnant again at month 5 after the 2nd MC, Western doc was especially careful. He put me on all sorts of Med - Heparin and a few others that I can't remember, and saw me every two weeks. I cancelled all my flying business trips, but did a short business trip to Shenzhen at wk 12. Experienced bleeding right after and was put on strict bed rest! It helps that my doc was extra careful and sensitive with my needs. During my 19 wks, I had a nervous breakdown in between my fortnightly ultrasound. My husband rang him and he squeezed me into his extremely schedule straight away!
I continue to take Chinese herbs to help stablise the pregnancy through out the first trimester, but need not see Chinese doc thereafter.
Where am I now...I am at wk 32 and just as nervous as I first found out that I am pregnant. Hopefully, I will become a mum when I turn 40 this year.
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Miscarriage was the most horrible experience I have gone thru in my life. I tasted it twice and my life will never be the same. It's sad that something so precious can be taken away from me in a flesh. I have lost a lot of security and zest for life. A few months after my 2nd m/c, I still have my good & bad days. And it's never easy running into pregnant ladies in the street.
After my 2nd m/c, I had taken a few blood tests and they all came back fine. I also read a lot of books, did a lot of research and found this UK-based non profit making organisation called Foresight. It helps people to identify mineral deficiency and metal excess using a hair analysis as an effort to prevent m/c and children with problems. Then they'll put you on a 4-month program with supplements (it can all be done remotely). Their success rate is amazingly high. It's worth a try. Their address is www.foresight-preconception.org.uk. I'm in my 2nd month already.
Lots of baby dust to you & me
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happyd-
thank you. your story brought tears to my eyes. week 32!--you are going to be a mum!!!! i am happy for you, and it gives me that glimmer of hope that we all want and need so badly. please let us know when you have your little one.
aussierules-
be gentle with yourself. go easy. your life may never be the same, but we can learn from all experiences in our life, we just need to stay positive and strong. surround yourself with love. think positive and take the positive energy out of the things and people around you. you can do it. and yes, lots of baby dust to you, and me, and every other woman out there who has gone through m/c and fertility issues.
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Madam X,
M/Cs are hard. I had 3 in a span of 2 years. Each time it was as if a small part of me died and with each m/c it became more difficult to believe that I will ever become a mother and hold my baby in my arms. I cried and mourned for months after each m/c and found it hard to keep my faith and go on trying.
But please keep your faith and keep on trying - after the last m/c we got pregnant again after 6 months and we prayed and prayed - Both my DH and I were still concern after weeks and months of pregnancy. We did not believe it could happen to us until we held our daughter in our arms - 6 weeks ago.
To everyone who is trying - lots of baby dust to you and your DH.
HF
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mrsl
16 yrs ago
I've had 4 mcs in between healthy pregnancies. I had every test under the sun done. I became obsessive about finding a reason and even spent months in London being seen by Prof. Lesley Regan, one of the world specialists on the subject. There were no conclusive results. To be honest, I was hoping that they would find something concrete, but the doctors are convinced that I have just been unlucky.
Successive mcs do not get any easier but you do learn to manage your expectations. There is light at the end of the tunnel though; many people who have had repeated miscarriages go on to have 2, 3 or more perfectly healthy children. I think it is important to follow your doctor's advice though in terms of waiting until you are ready both physically and emotionally to try again. Wishing you the very best.
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Loyd Grossman
I had four miscarriages before finally being diagnosed with APLS or a "strong immune system that simply rejects anything foreign". There are simple drugs to take for this condition (baby aspirin, heparin and prednisolone). I overcame my condition and am now the proud momma of a four year old. There is hope!!! Good luck to your sis and please do ask her to keep trying. It helps if you find the right doctor - I had Dr. Alex Doo and he is the greatest.
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