I had a miscarriage 2 wks ago at 6 wks. Been very sad and so on. Had a D&C to remove all the stuff inside.
I wonder when SHOULD i try again. I know doctors have been telling me that i can try right away. But i would like to know when is a best time to try again. I have been so sad i don't think i can take it again.
I have visited some chinese doctors they have told me that giving birth or having an abortion /D&C, are actually the same thing. While you won't give birth and try to get pregnant again right away so there is no reason why you should be trying right
after you have a D&C. Is that a logic there?
Any ladies can give me some suggestions? I don't want to miscarry or have an un healthy baby!
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Well, current western medical thought is, as you say, that you can try straight away and apparently some women are particularly fertile in the few cycles after a miscarriage, so if you struggled to conceive the first time, it may be wise to start again soon.
Re the view of the Chinese doctors, I'd say the logic is flawed. If you give birth at full term you either have to deal with the aftermath of a natural birth or a C-section, both of which require recovery time PLUS you have a new baby to look after and possibly breastfeed. That is why it isn't a great idea to get pregnant again straight away as your body needs recovery time for your uterus to shrink back, periods to normalise and any stitches to heal properly. That said, many people do "back to back" (I know 2 people who have 2 babies within 13 months)and the babies are fine.
I think the key thing is whether you feel emotionally ready to try again. Some women find that getting pregnant straight away helps them to cope with their loss. Some feel they need to have properly grieved their loss. Do whatever feels right for you.
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Dear neversaynever,
I just want to say that I am very sorry to hear about your lost.
Re your question, I know a friend who tried immediately, and got pregnant, and the baby is absolutely fine. I know also another friend to did try and it took them another 2 years to get pregnant again, but baby is fine. So my point is, if you do decide to try again, do not give up if it does not happen right away.
Out of curiosity: did the doctor give any suggestion how to avoid a future miscarriage?
Thank you.
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Hello thanks for your thoughts.
These days i've been running between doctors (plus i've just caught a cold) and western doctors seem to give me alot of support but the chinese doctors are blaming me for the miscarriage.
I finished my birth control pills (in 9 yrs length) and then i started to try. Well i wouldn't say that we STARTED but we went away from HK so we enjoyed alot of sex (haha) then i fell pregnant after 2 wks. Chinese Doc said i didn't think it thru blah blah and i shouldn't have done it. Western doc said it wasn't the cause why i had miscarried.
My chinese doc said i should try agan after half a yr. My Western doc said try again anytime i want and by trying more the chances of getting miscarriage would also be less (yea she told me yesterday).
Western doc said no i can't avoid it the chances or % of miscarriage is just going to be same everytime. Unless i had it more than 2 or 3 times....
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well, if i had two parties with one blaming and one giving me facts only, i knew on which one to rely
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Not meaning to sound prejudiced against Chinese Traditional Medicine, which I have used many times in the past... but I'm sure Western doctors are basing their comments on scientific fact. I would disregard anything a Chinese doctor told me - especially something as important as a miscarriage.
I suppose he also said you had too much heatiness in your body so you should avoid salad, and ice cream and cold drinks while pregnant etc etc...!!
Just keep trying! You were very lucky to get pregnant within a couple of weeks. Imagine - some people take years and years and then try fertility treatments. What a blessing you can fall pregnant easily and I wish you luck that the second time will be the right one.
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My husband has told me to never go back to the chinese doc again because they seem like to keep you very low and try to get you back to them so they can sell more medicine. I was indeed very sad when i came home that night.
Thanks for your kind word. I think i will keep on trying.
PS - my mother kind of listened to what the chinese doc told me and if i do fall pregnant again within 2 months, i am afraid that i should tell her or not. Or she would say "I told you not to...." That really stresses me out.
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Just wanted to share with you what a fertility doctor said to me as we were exploring ivf as an option. We all know that soil is full of metals such as lead, copper & mercury, all of which have detrimental effects on the human bodies, esp when you are TTC. A lot of Chinese herbs are from China where soil quality is under little if at all any govt monitoring. This doctor also showed me lots of newspaper clippings showing how people got serious illness such as liver and kidney failure from being on Chinese medicine regularly.
We live in HK, the pollution is bad enough. Try not to take anything to jeopardise your health. There is little scientific proof that Chinese medicine actually works. You usually just hear from a friend's friend that so & so is a good doctor.
A good friend of mine has been to a Chinese doctor (who smokes in front of his patients during his consultation!) for 7 years. About a year ago, she fell pregnant at the age of 43. It was a miracle. However she lost the baby at 6 months. Again, there is no way one could proof that it was the Chinese medicine that got her pregnant, or in fact it killed her baby.
The safest bet, my friend, would be to steer clear it when you are TTC. Eat a balanced diet, no alcohol, no caffaine, less refined carbs & sugar, more sleep, you should be on the way to a healthier body & mind - the best place to start a family.
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aet
15 yrs ago
Very sorry to hear about the miscarriage, I also went through the same thing around May 08, at about 9 weeks. The advice I received from my doctor was to leave it a couple of months before trying again, for both physical and emotional healing time. I followed the advice and am very pleased to say that I had a very healthy baby in June 2009. Miscarriage's are so much more common than you think, my Doctor was very clear in telling me that it wasn't my fault, it was unfortunately "just one of those things". Just to give myself a better chance, when I tried again I gave up alcohol and tried to follow a reasonably healthy diet. Give your mind and body a little recovery time and then try again!
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i am always amazed that some people can feel guilt for a miscarriage. a simple look at the statistics tells you so clearly how common (or even likely) it is...
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Cookie is so right. Most early miscarriages happen because there is something wrong with the embryo- maybe it didnt implant properly or there is a genetic problem. There is a 20% chance of miscarrying before 12 weeks once you know you're pregnant (apparently as high as 40% of fertilised eggs dont make it if you include those that just dont implant) and it is very unlikely to be due to something you did or didn't do. Please dont blame yourself. Good luck with trying to conceive again.
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OzyOS
15 yrs ago
Very sorry to hear that you had to go thru a miscarry. I also miscarried my first pregnancy at 6 weeks and the best way I got around it all was knowing that mother nature knew best, and for the pregnancy not to continue naturally by itself, meant that there was something seriously wrong in the development of the embryo, and my body just knew to shut it down in its early stages.
My husband and I decided to try again as soon as we could and we were lucky enough to fall the following month. I am just about to enter the 2nd trimester and all is well. I think it is important to stay positive (just the fact that you can concieve is wonderful news in itself!) and remember that every pregnancy is different. Your previous experience most probably occured for reasons that wont govern any future pregnancies....Wishing you (and everyone else out there trying) the best of luck!
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Thx for all u ladies' support. OzyOs - im wishing you very well on this pregnancy! THis is making me positive about my future pregnancy.
I have miscarried now around 1.5 months. I don't want to try again yet as i m enjoying my real self ( alittle bit of drinking and high heels here and there ) but we will try again next month while we are going for holiday.
GOod luck to you all!
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