Help! Miscarrige

Please help. I found out yesterday that my baby no longer had a heatbeat. I am 8 weeks and there was a strong heartbeat last week. My doc sugggested D+C but I am in shock and so upset. Any advise/experience on miscarrige would be appreciated

oh number7, I am so sorry for you. I went through the same thing 2 weeks ago, no heartbeat at 8 weeks. It's so very sad. As I hadn't started to actually miscarry yet, we decided to wait another week and have another scan before the D&C. That last scan was helpful, as the embryo clearly hadn't grown anymore and infact was less distinct than it had been the previous week. That made it easier to stop holding out hope (we hadn't seen any heartbeat at all yet). It also gave me a week to get used to the whole idea of losing our baby.


The proceedure itself is very short (15 min?) and done in the hospital under light general anesthesia. You'll stay in the hospital for a couple of hours afterwards, until you have urinated and had something to eat without ill effect. And then you take a course of antibiotics and wear pads (not tampons) for a bit until the bleeding stops.


One thing that may be helpful, if you're interested, you can have a tissue analysis done to learn if there were any chromosonal reasons the baby stopped developing. Those results take about 2 1/2 weeks.


And then you try again....many doctors ask you to wait for a period first, though there doesn't seem to be any medical reason to wait a cycle. I think it's more an issue of dating a baby if you do get pregnant again straight away. But of course it may be important to take some time to heal a bit emotionally.


Statistically, I've read that most women are pregnant again by the time the baby they lost would have been due.


I'm so sorry for your loss.

number7, very sorry to hear about your loss. I have some idea what you are going through. Almost 'an old hand' by now, having had 4 m/c at different stages. I do however, have 2 healthy children too, so that's what I focus on.


In my experience, the later that the m/c happens, the more traumatic it is and the slower the emotional recovery time. My worst one was at 11.5 weeks. I started bleeding the day before I was due to go for my scan. Thought that I was 'home and dry' at that point and was only waiting for confirmation that we could tell friends and family. I waited a few months before ttc again, but conceived a perfect baby right away.


Two of the m/c were early and I was 'lucky enough' to be forewarned by early scans (small for dates).


I took the doctor's advice and opted for D&Cs on 2 occassions (once due to the size and the other time due to the need to rule out ectopic pregnancy). The procedure was quick, as described by my thoughts, and does have the advantage of helping you look for answers. To be honest, I did not notice a difference, from an emotional recovery point of view between the D&C and the 'spontaneous' m/c.


The statistics are on your side. Most women go on to conceive and carry perfect babies to term. If you want more medical information, I can recommend Prof. Lesley Regan's book. Am happy to send you mine (just PM me and I will post it on).


Every person is different, only you (and your husband) can figure out what is best for you and when you're ready to move on. It is tough on the men too - they want to be there for you, but they also have a loss to deal with. I was an absolute bi**h to my poor husband first time around. Thinking of you......it will get easier!

I had a similar experience. I had to decide whether I wanted to let nature takes it course or have a D & C. Went with the D & C but made the doctor do another scan the morning of just to put my mind at ease. Was told to wait until I had one period, come in for a check, and then we could try again. We conceived again right away (our doctor laughed about not having to ask when my last period was). After a rather rocky pregnancy (bleeding on & off), our son was born at 38 weeks. He's now 3.


Sorry to hear about your loss.

hi my thoughts. i have been following your news in these threads on adoption and your pregnancy. i just wanted to say how sorry i was to hear of your loss

thank you for all your support and advice and I am sorry for your losses,micarrying is heartbreaking and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.Sorry about the late reply I decided to have the D and C today and I feel like I can srart to deal with the loss now.Dora the Explorer I am new to the site so I don't know how to pm you. I will pray for us all to have healthy babies. Thanks again

Thanks Monster, you're really kind.


The last month has been an incredible rollercoaster, the greatest of joys and the saddest of lows.

number7, just click on 'Control Panel' (under your log-in name near the top left hand corner of the screen). You can click on 'Compose a Message'. Under 'Alphabetical', click on the D and on 'Username' scroll down to Dora..., and write as you would a normal email.

thanks for your reply lechef and am sorry for your loss.Wish you lots of luck with trying again. Can I ask when is normal for your period to return? Thanks again