Posted by
Angsana
16 yrs ago
A couple of weeks ago I went for my 20-week pregnancy scan. This is my second child and my second conceived after a long hard slog at fertility treatment. I thought that once I was pregnant, the drama would be over. At 13 weeks I had the OSCAR test and blood work and I did not have to have an amnio. I thought I would breeze through our 20-week scan but there was a problem and I am totally stressed out over it. I do not want to go into the problem in too much detail but basically the baby was physically perfect except one "thing" was outside the normal size range. The Doc did a thorough scan (2 hours!) to see if it was linked to anything else and it was not. The scanner (sonographer?) started rambling on from A-Z about Downs Syndrome, other chromosome abnormality, termination, mental retardation etc. and I got really upset. My OB came on the phone and told me to do the amnio there and then which I did. A week later the amnio showed no chromosomal abnormality. My OB in my opinion has been evasive (e.g. no follow up call to me, so I called him at 0900 one day, he called me back at 8.00pm and spent 1 minute on the phone as he was obviously very busy). The only info I have on the issue is what I have got from the internet. From the research I have done and the initial diagnosis I had the issue can be a big problem or not a problem at all. For example, often it goes away or stays the same (and is not an issue), worst case it gets worse and baby has a big problem.
Anyway, I know no one can sort out the problem for me. I just needed to vent somewhere as my husband doesn't want me to discuss it with anyone yet. I feel alone, feel like "why" and range from "it's got to be OK" to "it's all going to end on disaster". I am no longer enjoying my such desired pregnancy and feel I cannot make any plans yet. I feel sorry for the baby as I am feeling so negative and it is receiving no attention! I also feel lost since I am in a foreign country and would much rather be on my own turf dealing with this.
Anyone else can give me some ideas on how to deal with the wait (I go back to see them next week) and how to cope with dealing with pregnancy problems?
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I would go and see another OB straight away
Go see Dr Podda Owen & trod.. he is fantastic and explains everything
Number 2526 1580.. sorry just realised your in Sing
Maybe get another reccomended Ob to see
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kamma
16 yrs ago
Hi Angsana,
I am going through exactly what you are and the only thing you can do is try not to worry and let what is going to happen happen. But make sure you see a DR that you like and get a second opinion. I am also pregnant with my second child. I had an amnio 6 weeks ago, after some concerns after an ultrasound and everything seems fine BUT that doesn't stop me from worrying. I am just doing my best to keep my spirits up, be healthy and if I do have a baby that is not "perfect" I will still love and cherish the baby. My husband is the same way and didn't even tell any of his friends or coworkers that I was pregnant until it became so obvious that he HAD to say something. I actually ended up confiding in my sister because I HAD to talk to someone. I finally had a talk with my husband and he told me that he likes to think alone and he is worried. Maybe your husband is the same. Anyways, what I am trying to say is that you are not alone and tell one person in your family or a close friend to take the burden off yourself.
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bsm
16 yrs ago
sorry to hear and i hope all will turn out ok.
in singapore, you can try o&G Partners at Gleneagles. dr. kumar is the representative for the royal college of obs and gyn chapter in singapore. i have heard good things about him, and so is his partner, professor ng. i've also been told and seen dr. tc chang at thomson medical and was told he is the best in fetal ultrasound in singapore.
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yes get a second opinion, and stay calm. Do get informed on what the implications of the problem would be so you are well prepared, but dont let the implications get you to panic.
time will tell.
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wait, you did an OSCAR and were the results high risk? I did one before my baby was born ( she is now 7mths and perfectly normal) and it was high risk, went thru the same ordeal as you, waited for time to pass to do the amnio, again waited for time to pass for results to come back, its painful how slowly time pass, i remember checking the internet like crazy re PAPP results high etc but that just make me more paranoid, finally amnio results came back- normal, amino results ( not the fast speed one) are 100% accurate if that says baby is not Down, baby is 100% not Down as they analyse baby chromosome and that will never change. Dont worry if this is your concern, i remember how relieved i was, but got into another worry state about the risk of miscarriage due to amnio, whether I will get pre emplasia in 3rd tri etctec...just wanted to share, but when baby was born, I forgot all about these early worries.
When we realise we are pregnant, that why worrying starts because it is natural for us to worry for our baby!
when baby was newborn, i worry for SIDS, worry she not gaining weight, then worry for fever etc etc. Just tell yourself this too will pass, its is part of motherhood and something to experience only if we have a baby. Hang in there - remember there are probably few thousand ( millions?) ladies going thru this everyday....
Lastly I trust SG doc, though rather curt at times are well trained and very qualified, I born in SG but based in HK and I must say most of the doc here are even less happy to chat than the ones back home!!!!
Take care
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We are going through a similar scenario. OSCAR showing high risk and now my wife will go for an amnio. The worst thing for my wife was the way in which this was dealt with by the doctor, who she went to as very highly recommended on these pages. The way he dealt with her was terrible and she was in pieces after being told. I wont be taking recommendations from here again.....
However when she composed herself she sat with me and we run through what this all meant by reading various websites on the internet and she contacted Chinese University and Prince of Wales hospital. Chinese U were useless but the woman woman from PWH called my wife and spent 20 minutes on the phone explaining what everything meant, what her options were, etc, etc. My wife was so relieved and is now getting everything ready to have the amnio there. And the great thing is it will only cost around $300 compared to the $4,000 - $5,000 we had been quoted elsewhere. So for me Public System 1, Private Sustem 0.
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as already said: get the 2nd opinion, even the 3rd one.
had my second child in singapore, the doctor keep me stressed for almost 3 last months of pregnancy i would have a premature tiny baby, had to stay in bed, under medication (which gave me headache so i stop taking it) etc .. and my son was born in time and was a good size baby.
try KK hospital - it has been renovated and has really good docs and enquipment of prenatal care.
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Hi everyone
Thank you for the supportive comments. I am a little calmer now. I am going back to have another scan tomorrow to see what the issue is doing. I have read that in most cases it resolves itself or remains unchanged (with no effect) and only in a few cases does it progress and cause a problem. So I am really hoping I am one of the lucky ones. Keep your fingers crossed for me. I have also booked an appointment elsewhere to have a second opinion next week if I need one.
Evildeeds
Sorry to hear about your situation. It sounds like you didn't hear positive news about your Nuchal Fold and/or blood test? If so, I understand as I had the same issue with my first baby. Larger than average NF test, combined with my age and blood work didn't give me good odds. The Docs are a bit curt and straight away start talking about chromosomal problems and it scares the daylights out of you. Try not to worry too much (wish I could say the same for myself!!) and I am sure the definitive results from the amnio will be fine. Even with a problem on a scan related to abnormal chromosomes, my amnio was clear. I know people who have been given odds of 1 in 50 and 1 in 15 after the OSCAR test who have had fine amnio results.
I hope this is just a road bump for you guys and that the rest of your pregnancy is stress free. Someone once said to me that no pregnancy is stress free - you either have issues getting pregnant, during the pregnancy or you have problems after the baby is born. Rarely does anyone fly through the process. Do yourself a favour and do nice things whilst you wait for the results and then when it is all OK book a nice short break with your wife. One thing I've learnt with pregnancy is that stress really takes it's toll. During the first week after my results I lost 2kg in weight and couldn't sleep. The stress has mounted up and I am really exhausted even though I am sleeping and eating OK. I just hope I get some good news tomorrow. We have a couple of holidays booked for the next 2 months and I am SOOOOOOO looking forward to these as I feel I need them badly.
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Jams
16 yrs ago
Just relax take a second opinion.
Have faith do not get stressed out its not good for you and the baby.
Just pray to god he takes care of everything/
I will surely pray for you that you have a safe and normal delivery and a healthy baby .
Regards,
Jams
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I had one of Australia's best endocrinologists tell me that due to a pituitary condition I would not likely conceive without medical help and would not be able to go to term if I was to luck out and get pregnant.....
Well, when we actually decided to get rid of the contraceptives and give it a shot...3 weeks late our little boy was conceived and he was born ON his due date!
Shows you how much his 12 years at university and years of experience and respect taught him!
Keep your chin up!
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Well what a couple of weeks I have had. I went back to see the guy who did my 20-week scan and he said that things were even worse as my baby had a significant part of his brain missing!! So you can imagine the panic I was in. Anyway, on Tues I went to see a Fetal Medicine Specialist who told me that he could clearly see the supposedly missing bit and that my baby looked fine. To back this up I had to have a fetal MRI done today and I got the results an hour later and everything is fine and no problems.
I could smack the first guy who did my scan. I reckon this was the most stressful time in my whole life.
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I feel so relieve and happy for you Angsana. Take care of your self! You can now take it easy and relax and enjoy your motherhood.
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How unprofessional this guy is!! I mean, sure, people make mistake, but the whole handling of the situation is just so WRONG!! He should have recommended amnionsythesis (however it's spelt) rather than freak you out!!! Unbelievable! The worst thing for a pregnant woman (especially one who has had to deal with fertility-related stress) is to hear that "there may be a problem" with her baby!!! Surely there must be some ethics about how you break the news to parents and make sure you know for sure that there IS something wrong before launching into termination and malformation speeches!!
Shame on you Dr. Whoeveryouare!!
Angsana, I'm so happy you can now relax, what a dreadful stress this must have put on you, your husband and your baby!!
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Angsana, glad to hear everything worked out fine. It is a worrying time.
Our update is that we went to PWH hospital on Wed and they did a full structural scan and the amnio. The doctor there was absolutely fantastic and did all he could to make my wife as comfortable as possible. Probably one of the best doctors I have ever seen in HK. We paid extra to have the main results back within 2 days and they actually came back to us the very next day telling us that the 4 main chromosones are all normal which is such a relief. Myself and my wife are now on a wind down after being so tense for weeks.
Personally now I will never use one of the so called "specialist" doctors again that we hear so much about on here. They don't have even a 10th of the ability and skills found in the public sector. Another big up for the PWH.
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Happy for both Angsana and Evildeeds.
pregnancy is very stressful and if you are in the hands of a good doctor, it makes all the difference.
money doesnt buy good medical advice.. that's for sure.
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Hi thanks for all the well wishes. In the end we had 2 very thorough scans, an amnio and an MRI. Everything seems to be fine except a minor issue with the baby (something a little bit bigger than average but still OK) which we are monitoring. Hopefully that too will be OK, but we can manage this if it becomes an issue so I am finally starting to chill. The Doc says thought the baby may have to come out early via C-Section. The only issue I have with this is that my new maid is turning out to be a sick fest so I need to decide if she is going to be more of a hindrance than a help.
I am thinking of reporting the other Doc because I think he is very unprofessional. I do not question the fact that he didn't see the thing as sometimes you cannot see it. However he should have said "I can not see it" rather than diagnose it as being missing and that my baby was going to die. He told me not to bother going for an MRI as it was defo not there. It was only on the recommendation of my OB that I got to have a second opinion and the MRI. Also I totally take my hat off to Dr. Alex Doo here who guided me through what I should be doing in this situation over the email. Sorry, Evildeeds, I hope that wasn't your private gyno!
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