The bodies and brains of fathers, not just mothers, are transformed through the love and labour of raising a child
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On a hot summer morning in Atlanta a few years ago, I took my then five-year-old son to his swimming lesson. As we walked toward his pool, we passed a smaller, shallower pool where an infant swim class was underway. I was still trying to wake up, but the class was already in full gear and my attention was drawn to a chorus of motherese (the high-pitched, rhythmic, infant-directed speech known more colloquially as baby talk) arising from the class.
Parents were standing in a circle inside the pool, holding their infants in front of them, with the instructor in the centre. I couldn’t help but notice that many of the parents were fathers. Some were a bit chubby, with pale torsos reflecting the bright sunlight. They seemed like ideal infant-caregivers: calm, gentle, patient and sensitive.
They didn’t seem like men you would go to battle with. In fact, they were the very antithesis of the warriors and athletes – think Maximus, Achilles or Michael Jordan – often associated with a masculine ideal.