Accepting not having a second child

Hi ladies


After nearly 3 years of trying, I have had to come to a painful conclusion that I won't be a mummy again and my son won't have a brother or a sister. I am diagnosed with premature menopause and have had 3 IVFs and 2 IUIs. I get very few or even nil eggs despite high dose of medication. DHEA didn't have any effect on me. The doc has given up on me effectively.


Feel so numb. I just can't be prepared for something like this. Has anyone else gone through this? How have you coped?

HI SGExpat13, I am so sorry. I hope that my post will help you in any way in the sense that you are not alone.


My sister tried everything to have her own child but, was impossible. She tried 10 years but, gave up. When she found out that I was pregnant with my first, she became such a sour person that it took a while for her to meet my child/ren. Now whenever we go home, she really looks forward to having them around.

I don't know how she did it. I don't know what she did but, the point is, with time, I think that the numbness is going to get easier to deal with.


My husband and I wanted 3 children. Really blessed that we naturally conceived our own 2 but, the Doctor has stopped us for the 3rd saying that it is too much of a strain on my body and we already have 2 to worry about. It took us a bitter 1 year to understand that our family will NOT be the way we wanted.

In the future, if we still want the 3rd addition and we both are ready for a non-biological chid, we have agreed to adopt the 3rd.


I hope that the sun will shine on you soon.

Xshoequeen, iwilltry - thank you so much for your posts and your kind words. It helps. I really don't know how to accept this. I have tried everything. It is going to be 3 years and there is not a single remedy I haven't tried. Even the doc has tried everything. He is asking me to give up. So I know, the end of the road is near. I am at a loss. I am touching 40 and don't have much time. Some of my friends who have had similar problems have accepted it and got on with it. For me, the acceptance is really hard.