Posted by
Nuri
18 yrs ago
I work in a very local company where great majority of colleagues are Chinese. I am pregnant and everybody is watching closely what I eat, drink and do. It started irritating me very much.
Here are recent examples:
no fresh coconut juice otherwise you’ll have a miscarriage;
no papaya and carrots—same reason;
not too many green vegetables – no reason;
no cold drinks – the baby will get cold;
no lamb – the baby will be handicapped;
no nail polish – the baby will get poisoned;
no mobile phone -- no reason;
no sex -- the uterus will contract adn you'll have a miscarriage;
no shower for one month after the delivery without reason;
and so on.
This is my second pregnancy, the first was easy and the child (7yo now) was and is healthy. I didn’t follow any special rules then, I’m not doing it now. Only those written in some popular books. Nothing of the above-mentioned is in them! I am a bit confused...
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Just take it as friendly advice and choose to ignore whatever you think is nonsense. You've experienced being preggers before so you know what's right and wrong for your body. Everyone is different. Good luck!
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Nuri
18 yrs ago
Thanks for the answers. Cara, since your MIL is Chinese, how does she explain the taboo on showering? I'm curious because there should be an explanation.
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the koreans also have a thing about the showering.
It was explained to me this way -
your limbs and joints and muscles are all sort of "out of place" after your prenancy labor - and all the ligaments and whatnot are loose and not tight.
the WATER from the shower can hit your body and therefore further knock things out of place and not allow your muscles to rest and gradually shift themselves back in place - therefore causing pain in your body when you are older. (you wont' feel the pain now, only when you are older - although I've heard the chinese say you will feel pain now.)
Koreans also believe you can "reset" your body - so if you don't do the traditional confinement and rest of your body one pregnancy, the next pregnancy you can "fix it" and do the resting portion so that you wont' have the pain when you are older.
I was BATHED - not showered. My mother had to scrub me gently and have me sit in the tub while water was poured gently over my body. I thought it ridiculous, but my husband insisted because HIS mom insisted that HE would suffer if I didn't take care of myself. (very very one sided thinking don't you think?) I kept at it for 10 days and then told my mom to get out. I felt sorry for her stooping on the ground bathing me - what about HER body. SHEESH.
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Nuri
18 yrs ago
Joe Cheung, these are very interesting perspectives! So it looks like there WERE valid reasons for the beliefs years ago. Now, even though most of the people don't have problems they still follow the rules autmatically.
Hkchoichoi, It looks like only when I'm older I will see whether the Korean theory works ;-) No, seriously I can't imagine not having shower after delivery. Taking bath having bleeding for a few weeks? No way.
Thanks for the explanations!
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Nuri ,
some of those beliefs are ridiculous and since they offer no expalnation they sound worse.
I do know the scientific reason behind 2 of the "recomendations" you got :
1.Papaya / mango :These fruits have a chemical which have a high heat content , ie they take heat away from the body so it is recomended it be avoided during early pregnancy.
However my doc told me that its ok to eat a couple of slices you arent going to sit through 4 papayas in one go!!!
2.Areated drinks: they neutralise your calcium intake and hinder absorbtion of Calcium by the foetus.
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And no chocolate or coffee because they will make the baby's skin dark.
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I just thought id say OMG I LOVE THIS POST!! Ive been going nutts with all the chinese around me flocking like little pigeons telling me this and that.
My MIL is also chinese and i told her this is my 3rd baby im doing it my way if she doesnt like it thats not my fault. If i told her how to live her life or to eat only certain foods during pregnancy she would have told me the same thing so i dont feel too bad.
Hkchoi i was also told the same thing about the 40 day no shower rule. My bones and ligaments and the cartilage and this and that and the skin will be dry and without moisture. pls showers help relax me and if i dont shower after i have a baby i think i'll cry. My MIL insisted we hire a lady to come into the house for 2 hours cook the "After pregnancy" food and give the baby a bath. I already have a live in helper who helps me with the 2 other kids who also cooks chinese food.
My MIL is from Hong Kong However i live in shanghai and let me tell you what they do here... Once they find out theya re pregnant they dont work they stay at home they only were these sort of jumper outfits or odd looking tops to keep the UV rays from reaching the baby... they dont eat watermelon or any sort of melon and they dont drink anything but water. They dont lift anything nor do they walk much. its bad for the baby they say. Now i am 28 weeks and i walk around everywhere i lift small things so you can imagine the shocked look i get where ever i go. Drives me nutts.
In a way im glad that others can understand what im going through but in the same thought i feel bad for all those who have also had to go through this. Its one of the most frustrating things about A- being in another country while pregnant with others telling you what you should or shouldnt do and B- (only applies to some) being in an interracial relationship where the In laws push their culture and values upon you and point out how your culture does everything wrong. So C- mix those two together and you get double the frustration! LOL i love coke-cola Cara and i get that too. I also drink starbucks coffee and the ppl at the counter tell me its bad for me. I was like No actually theres a new study out saying its ok and i want my coffee. LOL im terrible! ive had the whole " Chinese values/traditions" down my throat for like 6 years now i just cant take it anylonger LOL!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks for the post most awesome!!!!!
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I was pregnant 2 times in HK, within the same company, working with very 'modern' Chinese ladies, most of them educated overseas, but still they came up both times with all those above mentioned recommendations, and comments on everything I was eating/drinking, plus all kinds of 'Chinese sayings' to guess the baby gender (if your skin is ugly during the pregnancy, it means it's gonna be a boy ...), or something like 'after 3 times swollen feet, then you'll deliver the baby'.
They all meant well, they're concerned, they care for you (sometimes too much, making me feel like I was 'sick' not pregnant !), so I always smiled and thanked them and still keep on doing whatever I want ! They were also advising me to wear those ugly 'Chinese' pregnancy dresses that look like nightgown, as I was mostly wearing pants during my pregnancies, and one even offered to buy some for me in Shenzhen !!!!!
It is better than everyone in the bus pretending not to see you are 8 months pregnant so as not to give you their seat !!!!!!
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the whole no shower thing - after I had my c-section with my daughter - I felt SOOO Gross. I didn't even have time to bathe BEFORE -because it was so hectic. A girlfriend of mine had given me two small bottles of very nice shampoo and conditioner, and so, While I was recovering, I told my husband to BATHE ME OR DIE. and he did. I told him I'd take it as a Valentine's day present. He only washed my hair, my feet (with no water "hitting me" - and I'm fine.
sigh...now I'm pregnant and going to move close to my mother in law. GOD KNOWS what nonsense she's going shoot me with now!
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I couldn't wait to take a shower after my C-section for my 1st one ! After 10 hours of labour, plus the surgery, plus stying in bed for almost 24 hours I was feeling so uncomfortable ! I had the shower before leaving the hospital, less than 48 hours after delivery, and it was so good !!!!
For my 2nd one, I actually brought some nice products and since it was natural delivery, was so happy to spend time showering, shampooing, using nice creams and lotions after the labour !
Even my Chinese colleagues told me this 'no shower' thing was actually gross and not 'necessary' anymore since we have hot water, comfortable bathrooms etc.
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>Claire - a big glass of almond milk will make the baby's skin white again - well at least milky coffee.
I was told when I was pregnant how lucky I was that I didn't have to drink almond milk as I already had white skin. Given that I drank a lot of orange juice I count my blessings that I didn't have an orange baby, or a green baby when I ate broccoli, or a purple baby when I ate aubergine (although I didn't eat the skin so that probably saved the baby from a life of purpleness)...
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LOL Blitzing!!!
Gotta love how they relate things like that.
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bbvv
18 yrs ago
No chocolates! I had a crave for chocolates and ate lots of white chocolate - maybe that's why my son has pale skin...hee hee. There was an animal program at one time and my MIL ask me not to watch them incase the baby will end up looking like one - well that's ridiculous and my dear son certainly does not look like an animal :)
I bathed everyday with ginger water (MIL boiled ginger skin and some other herbs for me) - I mixed it with warm water and pour it over my body - there's a tingly sensation due to the ginger. Can't remember the reason why it's ginger though. I only washed my hair once a week - could not bear the thought of not washing it for a whole month.
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My ex colleague in HK used to lecture me on what to eat and drink when I was pregnant. Then she got pregnant and I was horrified as I watched her eat Macdonalds for both breakfast and lunch, every day!!
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Does her baby resemble Ronald MacDonald?
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hahahha
Koreans also say you can't eat squid and octopus - you'll have a baby with no bones.
No duck - or you'll have a baby with duck feet (which stinks because I'm massively craving it)
My daughter has really really pale ivory skin - very unusual. And SO many people ask me what I ate while I was pregnant with her? And I can only say "Everything!" which I did. PErhaps it was the sheer amount of flour I ate while pregnant with her?
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LOL not sure i eat alot of green leafy veggies i suppose my babys gonna be leafy when he comes out!!
I drink coffee too i wonder if he will be brown with green leafs?
Both my kids turned out with white skin like mine even tho daddy is asian. I eat just about everything including frog legs with my second.
I think its just chinese tend to be more superstitious then we are and think odd things. Like how they get kids to eat here. they tell them Oh look this carrot will make ur nose pretty and if you keep eating carrots your nose will be so beautiful. Im the kind of mom where im like "Eat your food, or you wont get snacks later" completely different styles in raising kids and pregnancy or overall lifestyle and beliefs. If it sounds beneficial i accept it and try it if it sounds extremely stupid i ignore it and tell em i wont do it that way.
However, one thing that really upset me was once i went out to dinner with my MIL who came to visit us here in Shanghai. She ordered all seafood... crab, octopus pretty much everything i believe i shouldnt eat during pregnancy due to doctors and books telling you not to eat t hose things. i tried to tell her we dont eat those things cuz it can make the baby sick she told me it was american nonsense and to eat it i said no i will just eat rice and the veggies. She said seafood made the baby smarter and i should it. So it ended up with me eating all the veggies and leaving tons of seafood for the rest ofthem to eat. I do what i think is right and she says waht she thinks is right. However, I am the one carrying this child so i get to choose what i do or dont do. And that i the main factor!!!!
Best of luck ladies!!!!!
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