TTC #2

Posted by Wheelymate 18 yrs ago

my little one will turn one in less than a month.

we are starting to try for #2 but i am worried because of my period - i've been having it for every month since baby was 6 weeks but the start of the period is different every month. hence, i can't quite track when i am ovulating and make whoopee:) at the right time. the last few months, we've been going with the flow and let nature take its course but so far nothing, and my period never quite arrives on the dates when i expect it to.

anyone with similar experiences - will buying those ovulation kits help or is that unnecessary stress?

Dora the Explorer 18 yrs ago

Wheelymate, I had the same issue. My periods did not return for over a year because of breastfeeding. When they did return, they could vary by upto 4 days month to month. I found ovulation kits great, but possibly because I am a control freak (so much for romance eh!). I have had 100% track record with them, conceiving first time each time. Although m/c was my issue, OPKs could not control that. Some people find them stressful though. Maybe if you try one month and see how they work for you?

squiggles 18 yrs ago

Hi Wheelymate,

We had been trying for number two for about 9 months - the first is now just under 15 months. for the first six we just messed about and didn't take it too seriously, but as each month went by you could tell that we were getting more and more miffed by it since the first one was conceived within two weeks of me coming off the pill. I also found that my periods were slightly irregular in that they varied from 28 days to 33 days every month, which really didn't help the ovulation prediction...

so three months ago we started using these ovulation predictor sticks, and funny enough, i did find that my ovulating days were not the days i had originally thought they were....we found these kits really useful, so much so, that i've tested positive this month!

Good luck - i do think OPKs are defo worth a try!

Wheelymate 18 yrs ago

Hi dora and squiggles (congrats!!!),

thanks for your posts!

think i'll give the OPKs a go. squiggles, we conceived at the first try for #1 so i guess i was expecting it to be just as simple the 2nd round!

squiggles 18 yrs ago

hi wheelymate,

had to smile just now - yes, we were so expecting No2 to be so easy, and it's a bit of a shock when it isan't!! not as young as we used to be!

good luck!

Wheelymate 18 yrs ago

hmmm...another month, another period....

maybe time to invest in some of those OPKs!!

MayC, hope you'll be successful soon! Milk drinking is still a problem with my little monkey but he's just turned one and eats pretty well so seriously trying not to sweat it anymore.

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

Hi WM -

we're trying for #3 now too - but were unsuccessful last month. I was really disappointed as I was CONVINCED I was pregnant. Sigh. I only have one more shot before hubby starts traveling for the next three months and so then timing will be REALLY impossible. I've always been very accurate about timing my ovulation, so I am hoping that I can do it well this month. I've never used OPK's - but I'm thinking for security's sake I might...i just don't have any idea where to get them in Seoul...

Wheelymate 18 yrs ago

hkcc,

i was seriously disappointed when i got my period this morning!!

think we have to get our hands on some OPKs and make our men work harder at this, LOL!!

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

I was really disappointed last week...but I should have known.

my grandmother has made some special "virility" brew for my husband, so that he is not so tired. Ginseng, red dates and ginger all boiled together to get his things flowing...HAHHA.

Wheelymate 18 yrs ago

hahahahaha....maybe i should brew that for hubby if nothing happens soon!

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

I'll let you know if it works. heheh...

Wheelymate 18 yrs ago

stb,

thanks,i hope it will happen naturally soon as we didn't have issues with #1 but will definitely try what you suggest when the natural way fails!

the regulating of period is the issue here i think - the year i got pregnant, my period was like clockwork. but since baby, i don't know what's happened. like this month, it's come a few days earlier again. and while i used to have pre-period symptoms like cramps and what not....i don't really have them anymore, not even sore boobs!

mother_2005 18 yrs ago

HKCC, friend of mine actually travel with her husband when she was ovulating just so that she didn't miss the chance. easy to do that if you have $$$. anyway, her baby was 'made in beijing'. maybe you can consider that too.

squiggles 18 yrs ago

OPKs are expensive, but if any of you are like me and rubbish at taking BBT, and still not know exactly when you ovulate in the cycle, then they are pretty much the only way to accurately predict ovulaion. My periods used to vary by up to 4 days month by month so it really was guesswork, and the whole BD thing with the hubby was becoming so not fun when we really were just guesssing! Even when we got the blue line, it was starting to become regimented which we were both beginning to hate, so at least the OPKs took the guesswork out every month!

MayC, the OPKs say that once the blue line appears, you will ovulate between 24-36 after, and since sperm can live up to several days inside, they advise you to try the day the blue line appears or within 24 hrs. So fingers crossed it might have worked for you!

The other thing I took (besides prenatal vitamins etc) which may or may not have helped, was Robitussin, which is supposed to help the quality of your CM. It's cheap, easily available, and you take it for about 5 days before ovulation and during every month.

And lastly, the other thing I stopped doing was running miles and miles. When we first started I was running 40-50k per week, which was probably a little excessive and not helping my body weight stay up, so I cut it down to about 20k per week - no idea if it contributed either...but overexercise is a negative factor I believe too.

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

nice to have a group of women who are going through the same thing. Maybe if we all think good thoughts we all get pregnant easily.

I was very hesitant about getting pregnant again because of c-section and stuff - but yes, I am trying again. One key factor is that we are relocating back to the US in the next few months, and I can have a birth more to my liking under my father's care if I wish. (I hate the regimented style in Seoul - ARGH) I was willing to even go through it here, but the thought of being able to have one where I was more able to determine certain factors (like VBAC which isn't done here) made me more willing.

by the way MayC, the ginseng brew is NOT for you - it's for husband. (virility tea.) My grandmother's also key advice is "don't do it when your husband is tired." She keeps saying that I conceived girls both times because my husband was too tired when we tried. some crazy wives' tale, but considering that I'd like to stop after #3, and am hoping for a son, I'll do it.

Hopefully I can time it right in the next week - I think is when I'm up to bat. I haven't had problems conceiving and timing before - but maybe I'm losing my touch...sigh.

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

the timing of ovulation - you're referring to Shettles method.

there are a couple more things that you can do to "help" get a boy. Near ovulation, you eat barley, brown rice and green tea. try and avoid red meat. THis is supposed to help change your body pH and make it more "inviting" to your husband's sperm. Naturally a woman's body is acidic, and sperm basic, so they basically get an acid shock - this is supposedly why having your husband "finish" after you have had your own orgasm is better, since you are more lubricated and also more basic. supposedly RIGHT after you have your orgasm if your husband comes is most ideal.

also - supposedly having your husband drink coffe - strong, black 30 minutes before is good -as well as "from behind" position.

dont' get me started though. I DID all that and STILL have two girls...(not that I would trade them in a heartbeat.)

as for your period - if you're REALLY curious - you could try...because if you are, it should already show up positive...

lovechild 18 yrs ago

i agree with you simplythebest would hate to lose the regular input from HKCC,so hopefully the time diff.or having another baby(BOY!!!!!!!fingers crossed),would still keep you part of the circle.

i am fairly new to this but have really gained a lot from reading from ALL you ladies.

i am also in the TTC#1 group,but no luck yet.every cycle i seem to learn something new that i should/nt do.Just praying to God my patience does nt run out.Sooooooooooo want to have a baby!!

Good luck to all for #1#2 or #3!!!!!!!!fingers and toes crossed .

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

don't worry.

asiaxpat moms and dads and pregnancy boards are two that I'd like to be a part of - even across the ocean (although the time difference may cause weird postings at odd hours.) I'm sad about leaving asia, but gotta follow the husband...

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

ahhh the tinge of pink.

I had that too - and you know what - I convinced myself that it was "implantation spotting" and the strange thing was, after I get a tinge of pink, within 12 hours I get my period. But I didn't get my period for another 36 hours. And so I kept hoping against hope that it was implantation spotting - of course only to be disappointed. I never had implantation with the other two - why would I now?

my husband is so busy at work and clients and after work parties (very common in Korean culture - they drive me NUTS) that he came home at 5:00 AM this morning and I said, "you're killing all your sperm. I don't know HOW you intend on getting me pregnant next week." HAHAH. I guess it will have to be all the ginseng brew. Just bought red dates and my grandmother is having a fit outside - better go make it.

espresso 18 yrs ago

hi all

i fall into TTC #1 group and boy is that hard enough. (i note that a number of you are trying for 2nd, 3rd etc.)

i experienced implantation bleeding about 3 months ago which the period ended up coming about 5 days later. i was crushed, as i thought i really had it. after discussing it with my husband, he suggested that it could have been a way for my system to reject unhealthy sperm / egg naturally. for me i have just resolved to having odd things happen unexplained.

We finally decided to seek help this month and will try IUI. I am a bit discouraged at the whole TTC process by now but are still having some hopes of IUI eventhough i shouldnt. That way I am just setting myself up for disappointment again if it does not happen. I have read other threads where other people have experienced having various unsuccessful cycles of IUI.

spicegal 18 yrs ago

I think I'm having (or going to have) similar issues with ttc no 2. Pre baby no. 1 I was regular as clockwork, 26 day cycle - since I've been anything between 23 and 31 days so can't work ovulation out. Plus, no longer seem to produce ewcm mid cycle so can't work it out.

We're not ttc yet, but I'd like to soon - and as I'd like to give it my best shot (or hubby's ha ha!!) to have a boy, it seems much more important that I know when I'm ovulating than if I wasn't bothered (I don't really mind either way, but you know what I mean!). So anyway, I'm trying to work out my cycles for pre TTC right now!!

Think I'm going to have to go and buy some of those Chinese OPK's - anyone any other advice for TTC a boy, and for working out when ovulation is?

spicegal 18 yrs ago

STB -thanks for the info - just googled and there's loads of info about taking Robitusson out there - worth a try - guess I'll be off to Watsons to try and sort out my cycle soon!

And accupuncture? How long do you have to do it for? Apparently it's v big in the UK for fertility issues right now.

Wheelymate 18 yrs ago

can i ask how come robitusson is good for TTC?? isn't it a cough syrup???!!

spicegal 18 yrs ago

I just found this page which answers lots of those Robitusson Q's quite well

http://www.pinelandpress.com/faq/cm.html

It says that it thins and loosens mucus - just usually in the lungs - guess that makes sense!

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

anyone doing the Baby Dance yet?

husband has a crazy schedule - so am hoping that I can get my eggs to fly sooner than later...HA.

Wheelymate 18 yrs ago

haha

my hubby has been overworked too recently, no time for babydance!

my period just ended about a week ago so i doubt this is a the right time yet. but i must this week!!!

Wheelymate 18 yrs ago

i borrowed a maybe baby kit from my friend - it's like a mini microscope that you put some of your saliva on. the pattern of your saliva will tell you if you are ovulating....

hahaha, the patterns look so weird i'm can't really tell if i am ovulating or not, but i guess no harm in trying!

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

well -

normally I'm so on track with my ovulation -but this month I'm all out of whack and couldn't see any eggwhites in my CM this month -so I've just been doing our BD sporadically - and I have no idea of the outcome!

Wheelymate 18 yrs ago

haha,

my maybe baby thing is confusing...i think i am not using it properly.

i should be ovulating sometime this weekend too but to keep it save, we have been BD every other day - i read that it's better to BD every other day instead of everyday as there will be more sperm or something....hubby was very insulted when i suggested that, LOL!!!

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

it's true

BD every other day gives hubby's little guys a chance to recharge....

Kmom 18 yrs ago

I'm in the same boat! Have been TTC since October last year. Can get really frustrating at times. With Baby # 1, we were TTC for a year before it finally happened. My periods at that time were very regular but hubby and I were travelling too much because of our jobs. After i gave birth, my regular periods returned until hubby and I decided we wanted to try for the 2nd one! As if my periods were really mocking us. So annoying. So, since October, my periods were really irregular so I cannot plan out fertile days very accurately. Example, no period in February at all. Last period was March 6 and we have been doing the BD starting from the 13th day after LMP --- every other day as prescribed! Yesterday was day 23 of my cycle and I started feeling breast tenderness and cramping in the abdomen... which is usually a signal of an impending menstruation. So, we did the BD regularly and I again think im getting my period. How frustrating! I keep hoping still that the breast tenderness and cramping is something else than my period!

Kmom 18 yrs ago

MayC, that's exactly what my hubby and mother says, just stop thinking about it and let nature take its course! Sometimes, it is easier said than done though. But i will heed your advise and see what happens! Good luck to you as well!

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

sigh...

took my tests 3 days in a row. First day, I actually missed the window of seeing the test due to kids and came back and there was a faint line - but it was way after an hour. SO I couldn't trust the results.

Took another one yesterday - negative - and in the FAINT FAINT hope that I was timing too early, another one today - and NOTHING...

and now hubby gone - no more chances for BD in a LONG LONG WHILE.

Hope others are luckier than I.

Wheelymate 18 yrs ago

awwwww hkcc!

where has hubby gone for work - any chance of joining him for a sexy weekend trip (not sure about your babysitting arrangements though).

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

hubby is everywhere!

we may have a chance this weekend - but it seems unlikely -

then one more chance during the 17th - but otherwise, I'm not going to try to get pregnant until the end of the summer.

espresso 18 yrs ago

hi all - just took my 1st hcg test and it was a BFN (after my first IUI). a little bit disappointed eventhough i have already "prepped" myself this morning. will most likely try IUI again for another 2 cycles. does anyone know if after that it is time to get on to IVF? would be grateful if someone can share their insights.

788 18 yrs ago

Espresso, I am sorry to hear your -ve result. I moved from IUI to IVF when the Dr. made it clear that success through IUI would be pretty low (lower than normal %). A number of people across these threads have tried IUI several times and seem to have been fairly successful. I suppose depends on your/partner's situation and Dr.'s recommendation.

Wheelymate 18 yrs ago

boo hkcc & mayc,

i got my period today.....so i wasn't too far off with the dates but still didn't happen....sigh....

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

sorry to hear WM - better luck next month? AT least hubby is around to do some major baby dancing...

I discovered I AM pregnant - no period and just tested too early...I feel like it's too early to celebrate just yet, but I guess I'm happy - more ovewhelmed is like it! We didn't have much chances for baby dance (just once.)

Wheelymate 18 yrs ago

CONGRATS!! fabulous news!

once is all you need!!! :)

rest well and hope all goes well!

Kmom 18 yrs ago

Hi MayC,

We are TTC # 2 for 6 months now. I was 7 days late in my cycle this month, but my period came Easter Sunday. So have to try again! I will follow Deana's plan and see what happens!

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

it will happen for you sooner than later all of you.

don't worry. Enjoy the time you're not - suddenly I'm SOOO tired, so exhausted and I just want to nap! With two kids - little chance of THAT happening.

Wheelymate 18 yrs ago

mayc, hope you get lucky this month! yes, definitely will try again for next month.

hkcc, you are very lucky although i think the road ahead will be pretty tiring for you once no. 3 arrives so do get lots of rest now when you can!!

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

My secret? I don't know honestly - we've been very very very lucky. All three pregnancies -within 2 months of trying and generally we time it on one day of the month when I say "GO!" Mine is STRICTLY based on CM = which seems to be a very good indicator for me - but it appears not for others. I've never used OPK's or BBT - I only used BBT when I was trying to figure out how accurate CM was. And it generally coincided so I went with it.

but this month- I didn't even have CM (or I didn't notice) - I was just REALLY REALLY REALLY in the mood and told hubby let's just try without protection. BAM - pregnant. I do think, given my husband's really really exhausting schedule - ginseng power juice helped. Hopefully it will help us get a son! (if we have another daughter, I think hubby will push to try again...and I will practically be FORTY YEARS OLD.) My grandma ALWAYS Says don't do it when husband is tired -better to wake up early in the morning and have a go than late at night. (rest first, BD later.)

crj 18 yrs ago

I'm scared your grandmother tells you when to have sex... I know you are close with your family, and your dad is an OBGYN... but that is too much

:) ha

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

that's not the half of it.

grandma asks WHEN we had sex (like yesterday) and asks if it was good for me too!

crj 18 yrs ago

Either she is the most super cool liberated granny in history, or just scary :)

I had a great aunt like this, she had no idea how funny she was and had this super dry sense of humour... and would say things to me (before I was married) like "I hope you are having lots of sex now, do it while you can before it is too late!" she was in her 80s.

Loved her to bits, but always had to put the phone on mute as we were hysterical from her comments and she had no clue as to why.

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

I don' know if you NEED to put your pelvis up after the deed - but all three of my pregnancies - I did do that. just because I suppose it can't hurt. I usually stay that way for 30 minutes and then afterwards get up and do whatever else necessary to clean up. I stick my legs up in the air, and I say to my husband "my legs are tired" he'll usually help me support my legs for a bit. Otherwise he just lies next to me chatting.

I'm wondering of the OPK'S are actually predicting you a bit late. Have you tried tracking exactly how many days after you OPK says you're positive you have a period? I'd be interested to see that number.

Havefaith 18 yrs ago

HKCC,

I have been reading your advice in other threads - you really do give good advice. I just want to say "Thank you". In addition, besides putting up your legs - do you do anything special with your diet? exercise? Wish I could have 3 kids too.

Take care!

Havefaith

Wheelymate 18 yrs ago

awww mayc, sorry to hear about your news.

i am paranoid about getting UTI (i got it twice long time ago and seriously, it is not fun to be peeing "glass") so i rush off to wash myself after every BD. maybe that could be why it's not working for me yet?

hkcc, you know your granny who said wake up in the morning for BD? i think it's true....we made our #1 one lazy early morning when we were both probably half asleep!

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

sorry may - getting the numbers confused.

I want to know WHEN your OPK went postive and then AFTER - how many days later you had your period. So - what day was your OPK positive this month...

you got your period on April 17- so was your OPK positive on April 3?

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

I guess I should clarify - my dad said a more accurate way to measure ovulation is to actually COUNT BACKWARDS after your first day of your period. That is generally more accurately your actual ovulation day as most women have luteal periods of 14 days or less.

So I'm trying to figure out if your actual start of your period matches around 14 days, or if you're actually doing it too early or too late.

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

Hi Havefaith -

how long have you been trying? I have a girlfriend who has been unsuccessful for 6 years and it's heartwrenching watching her. I exercise daily, and when i was starting to TTC, I learned about my body for 3 months - figured out when I was ovulation and now use it to time my intercourse. My husband is a very very busy and tired man - so getting together on time is often very difficult - but we've been very lucky all three times. So - I will attribute it to God's will, lots of luck - and maybe the ginseng tea that my husband drinks?

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

interesting -

your OPK is reading positive 15 days before your period - which I think it means it is flashing too EARLY. so next time - I think you should time your BD - a day LATER. just one day. Technically you should try counting 16 days - so Thursday May 3. If you want to increase chances - Try May 1 and May 3 and skip May 2. That would be my recommendation. Also - have hubby drink coffee before intercourse and also you take robittussin.

adelaide 18 yrs ago

hkchoichoi Did you take robittusin for all three pregnancies? I had never heard of this until this forum. So helpful.

I thought coffee affect fertility and that you should reduce intake????

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

Never took robittusin for my pregnancies. I think I have really good CM. I can definitely sense a massive difference when I ovulate in my CM - so I think it makes timing for me VERY obvious.

the coffee isn't for you - it's for husband - 30 minutes before - give him a cup. It can often give extra energy and PUSH to the little guys swimming upstream. Red Ginseng is supposed to have the same effect.

Havefaith 18 yrs ago

HKCC,

I have been trying for about 1 year. Last July I got pregnant and then found out it was a blighted ovum. Had a m/c in Sept. We have been trying since that time. Hope you get a boy! Best of luck!

I will get hubby to drink some coffee beforehand - ginseng might be a little bit more difficult. He has really good sperm count - Our Doc told me she has never seen such good sperm count.

MayC, My doc has also asked me to count backwards for the calculation - as HKCC pointed out. Fingers crossed for you.

Wheelymate 18 yrs ago

i hate to be stupid but can someone explain how counting backwards work?

havefaith, sorry to hear about your loss. good luck and keep trying!!

Havefaith 18 yrs ago

Wheelymate,

Thanks for your kind words - I will keep my fingers crossed for both of us.

This is what my doc told me. For example, if your periods are 30 days apart (on 19 March and 18 April) and your period started today (18 April) - then you count 14 days backwards and your ovulation occured on 4 April - 16 days after the first day of your last period.

HKCC, please let me and Wheelymate know if the above is correct. Thanks.

Havefaith

Havefaith 18 yrs ago

Sorry to be dumb - is a baby dance, BD and the deed all the same thing?

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

The logic behind counting BACKWARDS from your period is that MOST women from their ovulation to their period is a time span of 14 days. There are those who have a time span of less or slightly more, but the majority of women, from ovulation to their period is 14 days. the period BEFORE your ovulation - there is a wide range. For me, my cycle is not that regular - I have anywhere from 28-35 day cycle. But it is NOT my period which is late, but rather my OVULATION which is delayed. From the first day of my last period to my ovulation -sometimes I go even 20 or 21 days before ovulation...but from ovulation to my period it is ALWAYS 14 days. (I know this as I know when I ovulate - I actual get a sharp pain in my side.)

the logic of counting backwards is hard -because it's almost "too late" in the figuring it out - but if you know that your cycle is generally around 30 days, then you should count FORWARD 16 days (30-14) and that will be the day you ovulate. Which is what I did for you MayC.

April 17+18 days - is May 3 - but also try two days before May 1. (which is actually 14 days.) Your OPK is giving you the sign on the 15th day - and it's supposed to anticipate ovulation by a day - but I think it's telling you to go too early. It's worth a shot, no?

Does no one have good CM on ovulation day? It takes practice to find it - you basically have to touch down there and feel every day until you get used to the feeling - and the day it changes, you'll KNOW.

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

MayC -

did you have a c-section? My period cramps after my vaginal birth were GONE = I mean GONE...but after my c-section - they have come back with a VENGEANCE. Sometimes I have to roll up in a ball.

Wheelymate 18 yrs ago

hkcc, havefaith and mayc,

thanks for clarifying, very interesting! shall attempt this backward counting method.

ok...this CM thingy...how do you go about?

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

to quote a song...you'll have to "touch" yourself.

AS I mentioned, my cycle is incredibly irregular - but I always know my ovulation - almost always on my CM, and also a heightened interest in the whole BD. (I AM REALLY in the mood.) Around the time when I think I will be ovulating (or the week of) I take careful notice whenever I pee. After I pee, I check...and check to see if there is any change.

CM - on the day of your ovulation - is - to say most descriptively - like boogers. It's stretchy, pretty clear, but very stringy - some people call the texture similar to eggwhites, and I think of them as being boogery. They don't break easily and the pull apart long - (which would faciliate sperm.)

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

OH =

another note...you have BETTER chances of conceiving - if YOU have your orgasm slightly before your husband does.

A woman's nether regions are acidic - a man's sperm is basic. Basically he has to shoot his guys into a hostile environment - CM helps this, as well as an orgasm, because for a moment, a woman's body turns basic.

788 18 yrs ago

HKCC, I don't know why I venture on to TTC#2 when I am having such a hard time getting to #1-- but I am glad I do. Thanks for all your info. Its good that husbands have to do some work too. Do you think I should make him drink coffee and ginseng together for extra oomph? Just kidding!:)

I am excited about planning the next deed!

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

To Koreans, American Ginseng and Red Ginseng - no comparison. You want to get Hong Sahm (this is the korean word) and it's very expensive compared to the American Ginseng. I'm not sure how to get it in HK, but Koreans consider American Ginseng much inferior.

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

those who are prone to UTI's -

make sure at ALL times - when you wipe - you ALWAYS wipe FRONT TO BACK. You may be spreading bacteria from your poo hole forward and when you have BD - you are causing the infection.

This is my father's NUMBER ONE advice for avoiding UTI's.

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

sigh...

just talked to my father about my lack of symptoms. I had some mild queasiness and sore boobs, but they are all gone now. He told me that maybe the pregnancy didn't progress - which he said was very possible. He said to wait until 8 weeks, and then go get an ultrasound - and see if there is a heartbeat - but he said maybe there would not be. He just told me that from implantation 50% of pregnancies do not make it.

two more weeks to find out. sigh...

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

Hi May -

if any one read this thread they may laugh at the amount of information that is being spewed out here - including wiping habits. (but my dad did tell me that this is the most common reason for UTI's and actually more women wipe Back to Front than front to back and this is a problem...) I can talk to my dad about this - because he's an OB. And it's like talking to a 24 hour on call doctor. sometimes it's TOO Straightforward and a lot of statistics, but most of the time it's pretty helpful.

the bitter the better for the ginseng. Here are some other crazy things - do NOT store or serve it in a metal cup. It MUST be served in ceramic. So when you heat it even, don't heat water in a metal pot. If you must, just heat the water in the microwave and then add the powder afterwards. You should not sugar or sweeten it as it will reduce the power of the tea.

May - if you're noticing a lot of discharge on the day BEFORE your OPK's are positive - it may be that the OPK is telling you TOO LATE. So hopefully. STart watching around April 29 and 30 this month - and if you get the CM - then GO BOOGIE DOWN!

Wheelymate 18 yrs ago

i was going to say i am glad we have never met - the details here are wayyyyyy too detailed sometimes, hahahhahaha!!

actually i always wipe front to back...the UTI experiences were a long time ago, but it was definitely memorable enough to not want to go through it again!!

hkcc - i hope your pregnancy does progress, some women do go through the whole 9 months without feeling too ill so maybe that's the case for you. hang in here!

Havefaith 18 yrs ago

HKCC,

My fingers are crossed for you. I had all of the symptons of pregancy even without a heartbeat in wk10. Dont worry - I am sure you will be fine. I really hope for the best for you.

BTW, thanks for the info on CM. I have read in so many books to watch for the change in CM - never knew what to look for before. So the thicker, whiter, stringy and boogie like are signs of ovulation. The thinner and more transparent one is just regular discharge. Sorry - for these detailed questions. I really dont know my CM well.... probably should know by now.

Wheelymate - I agree I am glad we have never met - but I am also glad that we can chat so openly about this very private topic.

Take care,

Havefaith

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

Thanks folks - get more loving support here than from home it seems. My father is just VERY logical and calm about these things - always says that a miscarriage is a good sign your body knows that it's not the right embryo to keep maintaining. So my father would be very straightforward about a miscarriage too....

Havefaith - Yes - understanding your CM is REALLY important I think. When do you think you'll be ovulating next? DO you know around when it will be?

Havefaith 18 yrs ago

HKCC,

Today is Day 2. I have a very regular cycle of 28 days and always "think" I ovulate on day 14. I take BBT every day - stopped for 2 months and just started again today. I "think" it is day 14 because my BBT always dip on that day.

I understand your father's view on m/c and being a realist. I would like to think everything will be great - until provened otherwise. dont worry about it....

Havefaith

Havefaith

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

okay - so start watching for CM change on Day 11-15.

I'm just trying to be positive about it - but my friend has encouraged me to go for a scan earlier - a week earlier because she doesn't think wondering and worrying is healthy for me. SO I've scheduled a scan a week earlier.

Havefaith 18 yrs ago

HKCC,

I will do that - Day 11 to 15.

Let us know when you are going in for a scan - we will all keep our fingers crossed for you.

Havefaith

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

there are lots of varying opinions on baby dance. Some people say that it's an every other day is optimizing the chances of rejuvenation of the sperm. I tend to go with this opinion - so I would do it two days before ovulation and try to hit ovulation day directly.

but there are various opinions - some say once you get the mucous - go go go - and others say just wait for the right moment - it's personal preference.

on a better note - I just had a massive wave of nausea and vomiting. YEAH!

Havefaith 18 yrs ago

HKCC and Simplythebest, Thanks for your help. I will try every other day.

HKCC, great news on the nausea and vomit. Very happy that you are feeling sick :)

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

hahahha - funny. I sent my husband an email saying I was nauseous - and he said GREAT NEW BABY.

Thanks for all the good wishes - Have Faith - you must keep us posted on all your "examinations." I get excited when other people get educated.

Havefaith 18 yrs ago

HKCC,

I will keep you all updated. I will start paying attention. Thanks for all your help.

Let us know when you have the scan - keep my fingers crossed for a boy for you.

Havefatih

Havefaith 18 yrs ago

HKCC/Simplythebest,

I started spotting on Wed and I am still spotting. This is rather unusual, right? I guess there is a chance it is implantion bleeding. Hubby and I did a BD 5 days ago - we both were travelling last month and only did it once. I am thinking of getting tested - but I am dreading the disappointment. Thought I would share this with you before I get hit with reality. Just living the next couple of hours in hopes before I get a pregnancy test.

Havefaith

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

Hi havefaith -

well - generally, from what I know, implantation is 6-12 days after ovulation - do you know about when your ovulation was this past month? If you're spotting on Wednesday - that would only have given you 2 days - my guess - sorry to say, would more likely be period - and not implantation - but I am no expert. don't take a test yet - when is your period due?

Havefaith 18 yrs ago

HKCC/Simplythebest,

I know you are right. My period is not due til this weekend but I was living in a brief moment of hope. Thanks for your quick response.

HKCC, are feeling sick today?

Havefaith

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

Havefaith -sweet for asking.

I'm MASSIVELY sick today. WEird - it's a blessing in disguise it seems. I was talking to my husband and he said, "well - now you love being sick?" and in a weird way - YES I do. I cooked my daughters dinner and in between was gaggin my way....very very unattractive.

but if your period is due this weekend - well - we'll wait - and then next month - with all your new found knowledge you can give it another go!

Havefaith 18 yrs ago

HKCC,

Glad to hear that you are MASSIVELY sick today. No need to worry about the lack of symptons anymore. I would love to be sick with you... great feeling. Are the symptons different from when you were carrying the girls?

I will keep you posted.

Have fun with the girls! Hubby is still on the road for another month, right?

Havefaith

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

havefaith -

did you get your period?

Havefaith 18 yrs ago

HKCC,

Thanks for asking. Yes - I got it on Sat morning. I knew you were right - but I was so hoping of miracle. 22 April was the due date for the baby - that I m/c.

Havefaith

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

Havefaith -

the your m/c was the blighted ovum right? I'm sorry to hear that. But my dad is very very straightforward on this topic - and it's made me very straightforward as well. It's nature's way of ensuring only the healthiest babies make it to term. Whenever I tell him the miscarriage stories of my friend (I have a friend who has been trying unsuccessfully for 7 years to get pregnant, 3 miscarriages and unsuccessful everything else) he says - listen - if the baby didn't miscarry - chances of genetic defects are extremely high. Nature only wants the strongest and the best. not that it helps. It's hard remember that your baby would have been due.

Let's focus on the present - you're up for another round of BD. So - you'll start the robitussin. You'll figure out your CM - and you'll do BD, legs up in the air afterwards, wipe front to back - and all that good stuff. It'll happen before you know it. Eat well, don't stress - and most of all - make it FUN and not a chore. lots and lots of love and hugs to you -

babybemine 18 yrs ago

Havefaith, sorry to hear it hasn't happened for you this month. Its so disappointing isn't it, even though we know logically, it can take a while. Lots and lots of babydust to you. I still have a week to wait before I know, but I don't feel anything at all...I'm already trying to figure out when i should go to see the gynae for the tests. I've noticed that ovulation happens very soon after my period (CD 9,10 or 11) so not much time between my period finishing and getting busy.

Havefaith 18 yrs ago

HKCC,

Yes - that is exactly what my doc said. It was a lucky conception of a bad egg or a bad sperm. Yes - a baby without a heart would be very serious defect :) Thanks for being straightforward.

Although the pregnancy was from BD, we tried IUI in March and then tried BD again in April.

Did your friend having a child?

I will take note of everything - including how to check CM.

It is very disappointing. Something so important in our lives yet we have no control. Been doing really well with our jobs and professional lives -working hard and playing hard. Will give it all up just for a little one - just need a chance to do that.

Take care!

Havefaith

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

Havefaith -

no she hasn't. She's one of my best friends too - it's hard being pregnant the third time around her - you know - lots of guilt, although she would tell me she's fine - I know she feels a bit of resentment that my husband sneezes and I pretty much get pregnant. it's got to be hard on her. She's going to EUrope in a week - and hopefully travel will make things better. She thinks sex is a complete chore - and I feel horrible that she feels that way. I try to remind her to have fun - but she just keeps telling me it's NOT. I can understand that feeling.

baby be mine -

how long is your cycle in general? Is it shorter than 28 days?

babybemine 18 yrs ago

HKCC, yes its usually 23 - 26 days and has been that way as long as I can remember (unless I travel). After O, from what I have seen in the last 2 months (according to the BBT), there seems to be 13 days before I get my next period. I get very obvious CM around O time and am using the OPK too so that's why I am pretty sure ovulation happens very early in the cycle. This is only the 3rd month I've been observing the CM and using the OPK and BBT though.

788 18 yrs ago

Hi... I just need some words of advice and encouragement from you ladies. I have my pregnancy test after an IVF cycle scheduled on Wednesday. I am sure(have been experiencing period like feelings) that it is going to be negative. I have tried to approach all of it- meds, mood swings, disappointment, guilt of spending so much instead of adopting, prying questions, anger, everything... with a sense of humor and pragmatism- today both seem to be failing me and I can't stop crying in my office.

I am also convinced for some reason that after 2 expensive IVF cycles, we will conceive naturally which is why I visit this thread, for advice and hope!

I hope to plan ahead so that I know what to do next instead of feeling helpless on Wed.

Havefaith 18 yrs ago

HKCC,

I have three friends who have 3 kids. Dont worry I dont resent them - I just think they want it more than me and that's why they have kids. Best of luck to your friend.

788, I do know people who have had unsuccessful IVF and then ended up getting pregnant from BD. So hang in there - Wed is just round the corner. Lots of babydust for you.

Havefaith

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

Mayc- you're armed and dangerous. GO do it! (literally,) May 1 and 3 - next month. I'll be going for my first scan on May 3 - so it will be a lot of baby connections on that day. I'm nauseous the whole day - a girlfriend told me a funny old wives tale - the baby that hassles you from the womb the most is a son. This pregnancy is definitely the hardest of the 3 in terms of just physical feeling - but I don't know if for sure it's a son or not. (we wont' find out either.)

Babybemine - I'm just jealous that you ovulate so often. TEchnically it's less than every four weeks - which just means you have more chances to BD than others do. I'm on a pretty long cycle - 35 days mostly with massive fluctuations in between, and so that's nice for you statistically. Since you know your body well, it should be good and easy flowing to time your baby dance.

788 18 yrs ago

Thank you Havefaith, MayC. The crazy moments have passed. Having bawled my eyes out has made me calmer and as ready as I can be for Wed result.

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

788

sorry -didn't mean to ignore your post earlier.

I have a girlfriend 41, whose husband had to have a reverse vasectomy - and then they got pregnant after three tries via IVF and had a beautiful girl. Suddenly, she called me to tell me she got pregnant naturally - and just had a beautiful boy. SO it does happen. If you can believe it - and almost don't expect it, it seems to happen.

lots and lots of prayers and baby dust to everyone.

Havefaith 18 yrs ago

simplythebest,

I am not sure if we will do IUI or IVF this month. We are probably going to get some help this month because we are travelling (together) next month.

Havefaith

Wheelymate 18 yrs ago

mayc, 788 and havefaith, sorry to hear...

stb - i didn't know you went through so much! you mentioned your daughter has a birth defect? i hope everything is as well as things can be, i wouldn't have known any better from reading your posts on moms&dads as it sounds like everything is going perfect!

i think based on my cycle, yesterday and today would be it but we have been BD since fri. on saturday, i definitely had a change in my CM during the day but because we were so busy with social engagements, we just didn't have the time to take any action! we managed at night but not sure if it's too late. ah well, tonight we'll have one more go just for a good measure, eh? :)

i can imagine people reading this thread might wonder why second timers wannabe like us are so anxious. but as STB mentioned, there is such a thing as secondary infertility. it happened to my aunt, she took 8 years and fertility drugs to conceive her second. 8 years from now, i will be 35 so that's still ok but my hubby, who is quite alot older, will be ancient so we want to have no. 2 soon!!

good luck to everyone!

788 18 yrs ago

No worries, hkcc. I am barging on to this thread!:) and thank you and wheelymate for your kind words. I have followed your advice to other ladies and I think of you as such a wonderful unexpected resource even if I haven't had many questions to ask yet- I feel more informed and educated.

Depending on what the results are tomorrow, we have decided to let go of the IVF route for some time, let my body recuperate from the meds, follow my natural cycle more closely. I have never really monitored my CM closely (i know it changes) and my OPK never shows a positive so I will be barraging you with questions!

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

788 -

sounds as if you do monitor your CM more closely and time things better, you might have a bit more luck. it is such a game of luck and trial and error - the statistics are really astounding - each pregnancy and birth is truly a miracle with all the things that have to go right in order for one to occur! My dad is always bellowing at me on the phone about the numbers - I had bleeding in my 14th week with my 2nd child, and I called hysterical, and it was my dad who asked me, "how many weeks are you?" and when I told him I was 14 weeks, he bellowed some numbers into the phone about how it was 97% that I was going to go to term - and that the bleeding was just something not to worry about. He said he never suspected I was going to have a miscarriage given how far along I was. Nothing shocks him.

keep trying girls - we're powerful and we can do this! I am rooting you on in between nausea and insommnia.

babybemine 18 yrs ago

HKCC, the relatively short cycle is quite useful at the moment (for once!).

It all does seem like such a miracle which is why you wonder if its really going to happen. Guess alot of it is luck. Right now, I'm just hoping AF doesn't show up in about a week's time...

788, hope it happens really soon for you. Babydust to you. Think the CM monitoring is totally worth it, although I do get a bit confused after we've BD'ed once since you don't know what is what.

Havefaith 18 yrs ago

HKCC, Simplethebest,

I have just had my FSH level checked and it is really low so I am going to go the IVF route this month. If we fail, then next month we will try naturally - because we will be travelling together. I will be able to use the new techniques, cough medicine and so on next month. I will monitor my CM this month for the purpose of next month. Thanks for your help.

Simplethebest, Glad to hear that everything is OK with your DD.

Take care! Lots of Baby dust to everyone!

Havefaith

Havefaith 18 yrs ago

Simplethebest,

I tried IUI once in March. Gyn/Ob actually told us that we can do it naturally - because we did it naturally once. However, I am 39 - I dont want to TTC for another couple of years and then dont get pregnant and then go for IVF and find out that IVF wont help either because I would be too old. Because hubby has a VERY high sperm count and mortility level - gyn/ob suggested we bypass IUI but in March when we went to see the fertility doc he recommended we tried it at least once. We tried it in March and failed. Then last cycle - we took time off and BD once because we were both travelling.

Thanks for your kind wishes -

Havefaith

white rabbit 18 yrs ago

hey simplythebest, I was just told that bub had a problem with it's stomache I was 10 weeks pregnant when it happened and so I have just flown to australia at 15 weeks to have scans and everything is now normal.....or so they say.

when they tell you there is something not quite right it is the most gut wrenching feeling in the world.... glad to hear all is ok now....really happy for you.

Havefaith 18 yrs ago

Simplythebest,

Thanks for your kind wishes. The other reason for opting for IVF was because the chance of having a blighted ovum should be lower with IVF. Doc tells me that there is still a chance but it is lower. It was not a good experience and I would really like to reduce the chance of experiencing it again.

Lots of babydust to you all!

Havefaith

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

Havefaith and 788 -

Just talked to the woman who will be my OB in the US. She's also a fertility specialist. (she's also one of my best friends.) I was getting the low down and some stuff and I asked her if there was any research which supported the idea that women who exercised had fewer babies with genetic defects? And she said she wasn't aware of any studies along that angle.

BUT, she did say that there has been a recent study which suggests that for women who are trying IVF, those who exercise more actually have a harder time conceiving than those who do not. SO you two may want to lay off of exercise for a while as this research suggests. Just some new info for you.

Havefaith 18 yrs ago

HKCC,

Thanks for the info and for asking your friend on our behalf. I will enjoy having that as an excuse for the next few weeks. Have you heard of any association between IVF and acupuncture? I have heard some positive feedback for people who have acupuncture sessions after the transfer of embryo.

Havefaith

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

the combination of western and eastern medicine as far as I know - most research is anecdotal and inconclusive. Lots of moms on this forum have tried both routes as well. it can't hurt - in my opinion.

no exercise for a while for you - I'm still running and doing my yoga but less running and more yoga...I had bad hip and sciatica pain with my first and with my second almost none and I attribute it to yoga.

Havefaith 18 yrs ago

HKCC,

I have also heard yoga will increase fertility. Do you have to wait a few months before doing yoga again? I just went to planet yoga - and was going to join but then left because I was worried that I should not be doing yoga until a few months later. Do you do the same type of yoga throughout? I am currently doing yoga at home - supposed to help with stress.

Havefaith

788 18 yrs ago

Thanks, HKCC. Its so great that you still run. I used to run a lot and really love it. So when we decided TTC, my Ob told me something similar, asked me to reduce my running (I was thinking of training for half marathon again) after ovulation. I had also heard running reduces fertility for some. My paranoia started from there.

When I started IVF, Doc told me to go slow on exercise so as not to burst the follicles that contain the eggs. I have taken it to another extreme and did not exercise at all (was SO paranoid)in those months. Have put on 5 kilos with tension eating last month. Meds cause more mood swings, I think not exercising caused even more! Bad situation. But at the end of the day, I would like to have babies more, I can deal with weight.

Havefaith 18 yrs ago

788,

Before I got pregnant last year I also put on 10lbs. I stopped exercising during the 2 months of pregnancy - and after the m/c I kept the weight. I do agree - having babies is more important. I have been going to the gym 5 times a week - but will stop going tomorrow for the sake of increasing the chance of a successful IVF. If I am successful with IVF and accupuncture I will let you know (everyone else on the website) so that we can all have LOs.

Havefaith

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

I can't leave the house in the night - so I do yoga at home during the day at lunch (when my daughter is sleeping and the other daughter at school) or I do it in the evening on my own while both girls sleep. I love it in the privacy of my own home to just release tension.

I have Shiva Rea's Prenatal yoga which has modifications for each trimester. I just use this one DVD and love how I feel afterwards. Just stretched out after feeling tense. I'd recommend it - I don't know how it fits in with the whole don't exercise while trying to conceive, but it definitely relaxes me.

788 18 yrs ago

OK...as I had threatened before, here is my barrage of questions....

I have a 23(24) day cycle.

I believe I ovulate Day 9 or 10 and this is because of blood monitoring for IUI. But I would like to understand/ get to know my CM and calculating backwards which I could not follow a 100% about. Could you please explain once more? As simplythebest said, you feel open- I feel that on Day 5/6 and am in the mood a lot! Is that weird? April 24 was Day 1, next Day 1 should be May 16. Does that mean I ovulate on May 2? Should you do BD in the morning or evening of? I have tried OPK's but I always test negative for some reason.

About Robitussin, how many days earlier should I take it? I read 5 days but thats right on my last day of flow. Is that OK?

I am guessing my CM quality is not very good because I cannot have penetration without lubrication. (I apologize if TMI) My ob suggested egg whites because they don't affect pH in the cervix negatively and something like KY jelly does. I have used egg whites, it works great but I think I might have reacted to eggs (not sure) right before my last ivf cycle- got bad allergies. I am a little worried about it now.

Is there a difference between powdered ginseng or the root itself? When should it be taken? Did anyone try to find it in HK? Not even sure what it looks like.

Thanks so much. Would be great if I could get some insight in doing this right or at least trying my best to do it right!

I am looking forward to this ivf free round! I am already less stressed!

Havefaith 18 yrs ago

788,

I will only comment on the ovulation based on counting backwards part of your message - the other parts: CM and Robitussin I will leave to HKCC and other people who know about this area because I have only just learnt about that and would not be able to advise in that area.

Yes - if your next period starts on May 16 (then you subtract 14 days) you will ovulate on May 2. There is something else that I learnt from my doc in this cycle that I did not know before - Day 1 is when you get your flow and not when you start spotting.

Take it easy!

Havefaith

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

788 -

what was the first day of your most recent period?

788 18 yrs ago

hkcc- My first day was April 24. I am not sure if my period is out of whack this time because of the residual ivf drugs- I got brown blood earlier on Day1 and somewhat on Day2. But, the timing of the flow seems to be progressing normally. I should be done with my flow by end of tomorrow.

Havefaith- Thats interesting bcos that would make my cycle 24 day long not 23 as I think it is. If spotting starts in the morning, I have counted it as Day 1 because it gets slightly heavier (can't call it spotting anymore) as time goes by. Day 2 is where most of my flow happens. Sometimes Day3 but I am pretty much done by the end of it.

Also, I overlap last day and first day for counting, so Day1 is also Day23, thats right isn't it?

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

So - April 24 - count backwards 14 - did you ovulate on April 10? Try and remember.

Havefaith has got it right - if you're due for a period May 16- you will ovulate on May 2. The reason for counting backwards is that MOST WOMEN have a time frame of 14 days from ovulation from period. The period before ovulation varies from women to women, but the ovulation to period is actually pretty standard. (if you have a shorter period, that is a short luteal phase and it could indicate something else.)

Women have CM - you just have to find out what day. So this month, just "touch yourself" and learn about your body. If your OPK's never read positive - it may be that you are testing at the wrong time. I've never used them but I find my body the best OPK out there - so learning about it really helps.

I really like the book by Toni WEshcler called "taking charge of your fertility" which really helps you get in touch with your body and learn how to control some of the things....it's worth the investment, or see if someone has one you can borrow.

A month free of hormones and drugs - lets see if good old fashioned nature isnt' better!

MayC found the ginseng - the Koreans say the American ginseng is worthless, you must get RED ginseng. (Hong SAhm in Korean.) I think many of the Chinese medicine shops will have it.

Havefaith 18 yrs ago

788,

If you are spotting in the morning but get the start of a flow (not heavy flow), then that is Day 1. You only discount that day if you spot all day long. I started charting my BBT this month again (having stopped for 3 months) I spotted for 3 days then my temp dropped on what I would in the past regard as Day 4 and the flow started - That was actually Day 1 my BBT confirmed it because of the drop which is supposed to happen during our period.

Havefaith

Wheelymate 18 yrs ago

hkcc, is it 14 days from the 1st day of the new period or 1 day before? say you got the period on 24 may, does it mean you are likely to have ovulated on 10 may or 9 may?

yikes, hubby has been busy with work and while we were "busy" this weekend, we didn't get bd going on tues and wed which i thought we should have...

babybemine 18 yrs ago

Havefaith, in Tony W's books it says that temps can sometimes be high during the first few days of the period. Not sure if that helps you at all.

Havefaith 18 yrs ago

Babybemine,

Now I am confused - just as I thought I had figured it BBT and which one is Day 1. Help!

Havefaith

788 18 yrs ago

hkcc- my last ovulation was a forced cycle because of ivf. The meds made me have a 28day cycle so it is easier to control. So the last O date would not be a valid one. I might have to do what you probably did way early on, is to watch my cycle for at least a couple to learn more.

My cycle split is either 9+14 or 10+13, so I have assumed that I would not have a luteal phase defect.

I laughed at your combative statement of lets see which one is better- hormones and drugs or good old fashioned nature! I am silly, it made me teary eyed! My tear ducts are happy to be busy these days.

Is there anything else besides egg whites, simplythebest, I could use?

babybemine 18 yrs ago

Havefaith, as far as I understand, day 1 of your cycle is the first day of your period, not the first day of your temp drop. In Toni W's book it says that sometimes temp can stay a bit high in the first few days of the period because of residual progesterone and you just discount those. If you spot for 3 days, isn't that your period anyway? Hope to have not confused you even more.

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

MayC -

very aggressive approach. It just seems that you are going for an every other day approach. It may get too exhausting by the time it arrives for you to actually go on your day - you will be "dryer" from now until you actually get your CM - and therefore it is less fun and more "wearing." Most women are very dry after their period and getting in the mood is a bit harder. You might want to wait until you see the first signs of something there - the first clear discharge - it wont' be egg whitey, but there will be something there aside from dry nothingness. I'm also not sure how tired your husband is but he may be too tired to do it every other day and it's important to do it when it counts!

Anyways, May 1 and May 3 are your target dates - and I think instead of blindly going at it, I think you should really try to figure out CM.

I just did Red Ginseng for my husband for 8 days preceeding our baby dance and he had his last dose the after. I just heard another red ginseng testimony today - an older women - 44, in my building, after 10 years of unsuccessful trying - IVF, IUI, everything - she and her husband started drinking the liquid off of boiled red ginseng for 3 months and she got pregnant. She swears by it and says it's the way to go. So - another piece of anecdotal evidence.

pinklotus 18 yrs ago

dear ladies of this forum,

thank you for sharing all the information. I find this forum both comforting and informative and it serves as an alternative counselling session for me (which I am very grateful). I , too have my own infertility issues. Long story..

MayC- can you please PM me where I can find the red ginseng in HK? I will like to give it a go this month if possible. Appreciate it.

once again- thank you all.

Pinklotus

Havefaith 18 yrs ago

MayC, Please post the address of the store in your reply - I will take note and use it in my next cycle.

Pinklotus, if you want to share your story - we are all ears - to give you support and all.

HKCC, Thanks for the info and good news on the red ginseng.

Havefaith

JH1 18 yrs ago

788 -

Apologies if this has been covered. Counting backwards by 14 days is a good rule for most women. I'm puzzled because your cycle is on the short side though and your ovulation predictor kits are not showing that you're ovulating when you test. Is it possible that you in fact have a short luteal phase, which means that you're ovulating later than you think, but a short luteal phase is what's making your cycle shorter? Have you charted your basal body temperature? It may help you figure out when you're ovulating and how long your luteal phase is. Don't assume that you ovulate on a certain day of every cycle based on IUI cycles only. I ovulate much earlier when I'm being stimulated - on day 9 or so. When not on medication, I ovulate around day 16.

788 18 yrs ago

No, no- thanks JH1. Your post sent me into a tailspin about it. And thanks to you, I took out all my medical records- seems like I have had 3, almost 4 IUI's, not 2. Jeez... Anyway, first 2 were natural cycles so were to be done without any medication. In one I ovulated Day 9 and one Day 8 (it had to be cancelled because I ovulated early). Whew, yes?! BUT... the dr. has also written LPD as one of the comments... This is SO frustrating. We have had these since god knows when and I feel I am 12 again.

JH1 18 yrs ago

Hmm. That's quite puzzling. Assuming you do normally ovulate on day 8 or 9, if your cycles are 23 to 24 days long, then your luteal phase would be 14 to 15 days, which is within normal range. Are your progesterone levels normal? What is the luteal phase defect diagnosis based on?

As for cervical mucus, Clomid apparently has the effect of drying up cervical mucus, so you may find it harder to track when you're being stimulated. Also, not all women have the "egg white" type which is very easy to detect (but this doesn't mean you don't have fertile quality CM). If you're having trouble tracking your CM, I think it would help if you kept a BBT chart so that you can see when you ovulate, and also how long your luteal phase is. If your temperature is very erratic during the second phase, your progesterone levels might not be high enough.

You should BD the day before your temperature goes up. Once it goes up, it means you've ovulated already and it may be too late. I think eggs are only viable for up to 12 hours after release, whereas sperms can live up to 5 days. I've read that it's good to do the BD the day before the temperature hike (some women experience a "dip" in the temperature the day before it goes up), and also the morning of the temperature hike, just for good measure. I've never used an OPK (I understand that some women test during the wrong times of the month); I find that the temperature chart plus the CM works is very informative.

JH1 18 yrs ago

Re confusion about semen and "egg-white" cervical mucus: I've read (in the book "Taking Charge of your Fertility") that the egg-white CM is stringier and firmer. You should be able to stretch it between your fingers.

788 18 yrs ago

MayC, yes, could you please post the address of the store?

JHI, Hkcc, I am going to work on understanding CM and try the OPK again. Got to nail this thing. I will need this information to instruct my children (hopefully) and my grandchildren.

Am getting Tony W's book. Just did a search on egg whites and few people have people used it because they have read it in her book but there are rules that need to be followed- I did not know that.... sigh..

spicegal 18 yrs ago

MayC, hope 1-3 May are as lucky for you as they were for me - they're dates that stick in my head cos they were my O dates 2 years ago and 9 months later I got my lovely DD, also after a good while of trying!!

Well we're still not starting our TTC#2 mission for all sorts of reasons but I'm taking note of everyone's advice and monitoring my cycle so that when we're ready to go I'm fully armed with info. Thanks ladies. And *~baby dust~* to everyone else too

babybemine 18 yrs ago

JH1, I still find it difficult to figure out CM from the other stuff (probably need a bit more practice), but I do know of people who rely on CM only and get pregnant. Toni W doesn't seem to be a big fan of OPKs but for me, I like the extra reasssurance, and feel I have nothing to lose.

JH1 18 yrs ago

Hi, babybemine. Never having used OPKs I'm not at all opposed to it. I think it's just not useful for women who are testing in the wrong time of the cycle and getting false negatives. We need all the help we can get!

On CM, according to Tony W's book, peak day is last day of eggwhite CM or if you don't have this, last day of wettest cervical fluid. Peak day is when you should have intercourse.

Also, so as to avoid confusing semen with CM, she suggests doing kegel exercises a few hours after intercourse to expel the semen.

This is what Tony Weschler says about semen vs. CM: "Semen sometimes appears as a rubbery whitish strand or slippery foam. It tends to be thinner, breaks easily, and dries on your fingers quicker. By contrast, eggwhite quality cervical fluid tends to be clear, shimmering and stretchy. Since the two are similar...[do] Kegels to eliminate semen [and] minimize any potential confusion."

babybemine 18 yrs ago

Hi JH1, thanks. Will try to watch out for the difference next month. Babydust to you.

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

Hi May -

clear and sticky is start of CM - and then it started to get less? Interesting...

lots of BD it seems. Did you do baby dance Yesterday? Which is when I predicted you would go?

I just had my first ultrasound today - baby heartbeat good and strong, and they estimate me at around 7ww4 days. So I was about right on my estimation of 8 weeks. They want to see me in 2 weeks to get a better picture - today's was just more a confirmation of the existence of the baby.

thanks to all who wished me well. I'm feeling a bit more confident now

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

Hi May -

clear and sticky is start of CM - and then it started to get less? Interesting...

lots of BD it seems. Did you do baby dance Yesterday? Which is when I predicted you would go?

I just had my first ultrasound today - baby heartbeat good and strong, and they estimate me at around 7ww4 days. So I was about right on my estimation of 8 weeks. They want to see me in 2 weeks to get a better picture - today's was just more a confirmation of the existence of the baby.

thanks to all who wished me well. I'm feeling a bit more confident now

Havefaith 18 yrs ago

HKCC,

Congrats on a good and strong heartbeat. That is wonderful news.

Havefaith

788 18 yrs ago

Hkcc, Good luck for the 10th week ultrasound! Glad to hear things are progressing well.

MayC, thanks for all the store locations. Now it should be easy to get the red ginseng. Our fingers and feet are crossed.

babybemine 18 yrs ago

MayC, it sounds like you will have covered all your bases if you keep going until the end of this week. I'm always second guessing as well and after 3 months of charting/OPK, etc., I still don't know if we are timing it right. Nature sure does keep you on your toes. I noticed that this month my OPK signal and ovulation probably happened on the same day.

HKCC, not long now before you can announce your good news officially to everyone. Congrats!

Wheelymate 18 yrs ago

hkcc, great to hear all is well. my friend is expecting her 2nd (she already has a almost 2 year old) and had her first scan today, all is well. i was quite anxious for her as she had suffered a miscarriage during x'mas.

so great to hear those pregger ones are doing well and hopefully mayc and i along with others will jump on baby bandwagon soon, eh?

i am expecting my period early next week so fingers crossed!!

lovechild 18 yrs ago

Wanted the experts to help me with the Red Ginseng (korean)dilemma.Firstly,i'm not sure whether it's the right one,they are tea bags and the guy said in chinese they call it HANG GOH YAN SAM CHA,excuse the mispronunciation.So now,if it is the right one i think i'm starting a bit late as i am on day 10,so ovulation could be any day to day 14.I have a regular 28 day cycle though last few months it goes down to 26 and this month 29..........i was so hoping i was pregnant but:( no luck!

Do i just boil the tea and give to hubby?Should i drink it as well?

Tks LC

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

Love child -

Hang Goh - is Korean

Sam - Ginseng

Cha - tea

yan - I'm not sure what this is - I'm hoping it means "red" - but in Korean - red is Hong - and I think it is in Cantonese as well.

But just drink it - can't hurt. The woman in my building said both she and her husband both drank it in lieu of water - and then she got pregnant...

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

okay so May - any news? you should up for a PT soon ? Or your period?

Me - I'm massively gaining weight, feeling bloated, suffering from periodic edema (ALREADY!) and overall being exhausted. UGH.

Well2 18 yrs ago

Hi MayC, i've never had EWCM, but i notice that my fertile CM is whitish, watery and shinny. It coincide with my BBT sign. So yours might have been it. Good luck :-)

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

MAYC -

you killing me with the silence. After all that work - any result? How about the rest of you? Wheelymate?

MayC 18 yrs ago

Hi girls. I apologise for my silence. I was away on holiday in Langkawi. We had such a wonderful time there. Highly recommended ;-)

In terms of babymaking....... I'm sad to say that it didn't work :-( I got my period on the 17th, a day before we flew back to Hong Kong.

I bought an Aussie magazine at the airport in Malaysia called "Mother & Baby" and it talked about secondary infertility, meaning that fertility could deteriorate with age and other factors. I was already disappointed and got even more disappointed reading the article. They said age is the biggest factor but I'm only turning 30 in August.

It's like I'm trying to understand why it's taking so long... like whether or not we're doing it wrong or whether there are factors that might have contributed to us taking so long (like I get severe period cramps - is this endo) or ......???? I'm getting desperate so I'm reading up and thinking, "Is there a chance I have this or that?"

I ovulate regularly and I'm always a 30 day cycle so I really don't understand.

Then I'm wondering whether or not I should be seeking medical help now or if it's too early. How long should I be trying before I seek help (considering that this is my second pregnancy, not first)? I've been using OPKs since January so all up including last year's "tries", I'm up to month #7. Maybe I should give it another 4 months and if it doesn't happen, I should seek help :-(

So what's going to be my tactic this cycle? I think it's going to be every other day starting from the 31st of May. We will probably abstain before this date. What do you think, HKCC?

I'm feeling sooooooo discouraged.

squiggles 18 yrs ago

MayC,

Please don't be discouraged. It took us 6-7 months of trying to get pregnant with no2 and I remember reading that some people can take up to a year.

As for age, of course it's a factor, but I am going to be 40 soon and am 21 wks pregnant with no2. I had no1 at 38. If there was anyone worried about age and fertility, it was me!

I found that we were getting very stressed with doing the BD at the correct times etc and I really felt that it contributed to the whole thing not working. The time it did work it was down to good old Victoria's Secret sexy underwear!

Perhaps give it a few more months and then maybe speak to a doctor, but i'm pretty sure there's nothing wrong with either you or your hubby. I know of couples who have taken years to conceive but yet had absolutely nothing wrong with them!

Haven't been on the forum for a while - no PC at home at the moment.

Good luck to you and everyone else trying at the moment! It actually is no fun after a while - I sooo hated the mechanical aspects of it all.

MayC 18 yrs ago

Thanks for the words of encouragement, squiggles. I can't wait to be in your shoes and HKCC's.

I'm hoping I'll be able to hold my second bundle of joy real soon!!! ;-)

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

Ah MayC -

That disappointment is really hard - especially after a month of crazy due diligence, massive effort and experimental drinks and concoctions. You'd love it if it worked - and when it doesn't, even more devastating.

I think your plan should be just to take it easy until ovulation and try again and just take it easy. I understand the need to control (I AM that woman after all) and sometimes the need to control makes us more crazy because we CAN'T control this after all. And when it doesn't go our way, our instinct is to control MORE. But I agree with squiggles - sometimes letting go is the best process.

My obgyn best friend always says that it should STILL be fun...and if you talk to a lot of people who get pregnant, many will relate that their most loving, or best time of BD was when they actually conceived.

You are YOUNG! (I had no idea that you were that young and fertile woman - lucky you) and so I don't think it is time to ring the gong for doctor's visits and lots of worry - I do think it's time for more sexy underwear, more spontaneity and just more fun...try and enjoy it.

How was Langkawi?

Havefaith 18 yrs ago

squiggle,

Thanks for reminding me to have fun with BD. In the last year the only time it has been fun was when I did get pregnant (but ended up having a m/c). Anyway, I will definitely get out the lingerie and have some fun with hubby - unfortunately, it is a bit of a hit and miss situation this month - he is gone from Day 5 to 16. I usually ovulate on Day 14.

MayC, Best of luck with your BD this month. At least you have one bundle of joy - we are still working on our first. Anyway, lots and lots of babydust to you!

Havefaith

Wheelymate 18 yrs ago

Hi guys,

sorry for the silence, i have been busy and been hunting around for a preschool for my kid!

so, i am 6 weeks pregnant. i can't believe it's happened again and i had to take 3 tests just to convince myself! the morning sickness has kicked in...i have forgotten how unpleasant that is but i try not to complain because they always say morning sickness is a good sign, right?

i am also more freaked out about this pregnancy because i know more now - especially about the potential of miscarriages ( a good friend had a very early miscarriage) so because i'm only 6 weeks, i am trying not to think too much about it, not wanting to jinx things because this is such an unstable period. i can only hope nothing happens and that i will be able to see the baby's heartbeat in a few weeks' time! but overall, we are happy because this is what we have been trying for and fingers crossed things work out.

mayc - i am sorry things didn't work out this month. do continue to try - it's not a year yet so there is no reason to worry something is wrong. chin up dear, it'll happen again before you know it!!

MayC 18 yrs ago

Wheelymate, congratulations!!!! I'm so happy to hear that you're pregnant. I don't know why but I somehow had a feeling that you would be.... ;-)

I feel sorry for myself though that things haven't worked out for me despite all the efforts especially in the last 2 months but I guess it's not time for me yet.

Hopefully I'll be able to deliver my good news soon!!! Keep your fingers crossed for me okay?

I wonder if this new tactic would work: My period came on the 17th of May... I'm on a 15 day cycle so I will only start my baby dance on the 1st of June and go at it every alternate day. Or maybe start on the 31st to be on the safe side, then go every alternate day from there (for a week). If that's not enough, then so be it. I'm so tired already of trying :-(

HKCC, you're right. I like to plan things and I try to do as much as I can to make it happen and when it doesn't, it's so disappointing. The first few disappointments, I say to myself, "Yes, I can take it" and then when it's the 7th time, I can't keep my chin up (although trying).

Okay to look on the bright side, I still have years ahead of me to try.... but then again, it still doesn't help with the disappointment....

Hopefully, just hopefully, we all have good news to share next month......

Or I'm gonna cry.... but I've been doing that anyway......

Maybe this month I'm gonna try to make it "fun" and see if that helps.

On a separate note, my trip to Langkawi was fantastic. The food was superb. We had loads of seafood and the way they cooked the crabs and tiger prawns were delicious!!! The hotel we stayed in was beautiful too. It didn't cost us an arm and a leg, yet it was beautiful. We read lots of reviews on it before hand and we have to agree that Pelangi is a great resort. The day tours we were on visiting mangroves and islands were fantastic too. It's the low season now so we really had a relaxing holiday. Apart from the local seafood, we also tried some curry at Kuah Town (the city area of Langkawi). It was nice but my stomach ached like anything soon after. I would love to go again someday.

Kmom 18 yrs ago

We've been trying for # 2 since October of last year and it still hasn't happened for me either. I'm turning 33 this year but my doctor is not bothered and just asked me to keep trying. Im usually on a 30 day cycle but past 4 months it has been highly irregular. Last month was when it started going back to the normal 30 day cycle. LMP was May 9 and so this week is when I should be most fertile (and I'm beginning to see CM!!!) so wishing it happens for me this time.

Good luck to everyone else who wishes to be pregnant. It feels so good to know that I am not alone in this journey.

BTW, Baby # 1 took almost a year to happen so it is not a surprise for me that # 2 is taking a while.

crj 18 yrs ago

WM - Fingers crossed for you - yeah!!

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

WM - congrats. you're where I was 4 weeks ago, same fears, same concerns, same worries. I was, at that time, SURROUNDED (more than 4) by people who miscarried LATE - at around 12 weeks - so of course, now I'm SO Stressed that will be me... But stress isn't good- and instead enjoy this great blessing - it's much easier taking care of two when one is in the belly! HAHAHHA.

Havefaith 18 yrs ago

WM,

Congrats! That is really great news!

Havefaith

Wheelymate 18 yrs ago

woohoo, thanks guys for the well wishes! yeah hkcc, it never ends, huh? worry about getting pregnant, then worry about staying pregnant.....i'm glad for this forum because i am dying to tell people but could only bring myself to tell a few close friends because just in case, you know??

it's one of the reasons why we're looking into preschools for #1.

mayc: please don't cry! keep doing what you are doing and we are here to support you!

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

We sent #1 to preschool right before #2 came along - it was a great decision. WE also had her in there and adjusted before the baby actually came - I didn't want her equating baby with school - in case it turned out to be a bad association.

Babeez 18 yrs ago

Congratulations Wheelymate, I will keep you in my prayers and pray that you'll have a successful, full-term, normal and fantastic pregnancy!

squiggles 18 yrs ago

WM,

congrats on getting pregnant! Like you, when I got preggers I was apprehensive because I just had a close friend who'd miscarried at 10wks. Luckily she is agai pregnant and expecting several days after myself!

Good luck with the rest of the pregnancy!

And lot and lots of luck to the rest of you...as well as a lot of fun (if you can)!

Wheelymate 18 yrs ago

thanks for the well wishes!

just trying to take it easy now when i can. i am grateful that hubby is working from home...i am paralysed in the mornings with morning sickness and just want to sleep the whole afternoon away!

hkcc: if i got my dates right, i am looking at due date of jan 08 so i thought september when he hits 18 months will be more than enough time for him to settle in the school and remove any negative association he might have with school and new baby.

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

another scan - dated due December 13 - all seems well on the scan - but my father was wondering WHY they scan so often - and he was bellowing on the phone about unnecessary procedures and costs. I seem to be getting over nausea stage - and moving towards other stuff - I can eat after 3 a bit better than before although I'm still not THAT keen on Korean food (although I did have it tonight.)

Wheelymate 18 yrs ago

we plan to see doc for the 1st scan at 8 weeks...

i have tried to describe morning sickness to my husband by saying it feels like a permanent hangover. i am eating what i can and some days it's ok, some days i can't keep it in.

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

that's what I did - first scan 8 weeks - that's what my father recommended.

MayC 18 yrs ago

Hi girls, I went in to see my gynae today. I was told that I may have endometriosis because I've been having quite severe period cramps (mine have always been severe - before and after birth). My gynae saw a cyst and suspects that it's blocking the release of egg. She said she needs to do a minor surgery called a laporascopy under GA to remove the cysts so that I won't get my cramps, my pain during intercourse and it would help me get pregnant.

I'm gutted. I'm soooo afraid of having to go down the IUI or IVF routes... and at the moment, I have never ever heard of endometriosis. Have I always had this condition?

I'm going to another dr for a second opinion but I'm feeling bummed.

I've never thought I'd have problems after my first and now... I don't even know what it is. I'm soooo confused and so disappointed :-(

MayC 18 yrs ago

And the costs of IVF etc, I don't even know if we can afford those.

My dr did say that if it's not bad, once she removes the cyst, I could get pregnant naturally. If the endo is bad, I will need assistance.

I'm not even thinking about whether the surgery will hurt etc etc... I'm just thinking about the $$$ we would have to spend in order to have another child.

788 18 yrs ago

Hi MayC,

Don't stress out about IUI/IVF route and its costs yet. Its a 'may be' for endo anyway. So it is way too soon for you to even go there.

You are very young and have already found out what ie the cyst, might be causing the problem. Try to think about how once the cyst is removed... then you can get pregnant naturally. You know it has happened for you once naturally , so it can happen again!

Cheer up!

mrsl 18 yrs ago

MayC, looking at the upside, at least they are doing something. Many people go on for ages nt knowing what is wrong and lose valuable fertile years.

A friend of mine had awful endometriosis. She had multiple surgeries, was told that she would never conceive, even with the aid of IVF. Her doctor even suggested a hysterectomy as the only way forward. To cut a long story short, she is expecting her second child next week. She will have 2 under 2, and both were conceived naturally (first was unplanned as she had given up on the possibility). Thankfuly she ignored all the doom and gloom. Moreover, she's 10 years older than you! You've already got one perfect child, any treatment that you may have might delay the second slightly, but hopefully that's all that it will be - a minor delay.

Best of luck!

MayC 18 yrs ago

Thanks for the words of encouragement, mrsl and 788. Your comments brought tears to my eyes (these are from being grateful that you guys are sympathetic). This is after I've spent the last 3 hours in shock and trying to fight back tears that keep streaming as I read articles about endo.

I will be getting a second opinion from another dr on Monday. After that we will decide what to do. I was reading a research that said with those who have mild endo, there is no difference in results between natural trying and surgery. With severe endo, fertility is a problem anyway with treatments. So I think we may just "try" for another 6 months and if nothing happens, we will go for surgery. When I hit 30+2mths.

mrsl, I do hope that I'll be as lucky as your friend. I can't bear the thought that I'll only have one kid. I love children.

I'll be okay soon. I think I'm slowly accepting my fate.

Life is cruel sometimes, huh?

Havefaith 18 yrs ago

MayC,

Dont be too worried! Wait for the second opinion. I am sure the first doc is just trying scare you.

I will keep my fingers crossed for you - and for you to have more than one child.

Have a good weekend

Havefaith

Wheelymate 18 yrs ago

Dear MayC,

Don't be sad *hugs*

Nothing is confirmed yet so try not to upset yourself reading all those articles about endo.

You have one beautiful girl so obviously you can get pregnant! It could be just a matter of removing the cysts.

Chin up, see how the situation goes when you see the other doc, ok? keep us posted, we're here to support you!

Lena HK 18 yrs ago

Dear MayC, as the others have said, please please don't worry too much about endo! It is such a difficult thing to diagnose, your doctor might be wrong... and secondly, no one seems to know exactly how endo affects fertility (unless it causes blocked tubes etc) - if you have fallen pregnant naturally before, it will probably happen again.

Having the cyst removed should help - a laparoscopy is not very painful, and you will be in and out of the hospital in one morning.

I've had endo for at least 15 years, send me a pm if you have any questions.

Take care and try to stay relaxed! Look at your little one and remember: you can do this! :)

Wheelymate 18 yrs ago

hi mayc,

how was the 2nd opinion today?? hope things are looking up?

we had a spotting incident over the weekend so i went to see my doc for the 1st time this morning. he checked me out and turns out i am 7 weeks, not 6 weeks like i thought. thankfully, there is already a heartbeat. he said the spotting had stopped and couldn't find anything to indicate the source of bleeding. so to be on a safe side, he gave me a jab, sent me home with meds and orders to stay in bed as much as possible for this week at least and see him again in 2 weeks.

i was in tears when i had the spotting. i mean i know and i have told myself that things like that happen during the 1st tri but i was absolutely gutted at the thought of losing the baby. for now, things are stable....i just hope it stays that way.

hope everyone is doing much better than me!

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

WM -

just responded to your food posting on Moms and Dads. If the spotting has stopped, that is GREAT news (info from my dad.) After heartbeat, the chances increase for a successful pregnancy - and just take it easy. I wonder what your jab was?

I had MORE than spotting - and a #2 baby from that pregnancy - some minor complications towards the end - but nothing to serious and a beautiful baby girl to boot. If you were suddenly super active or doing something super strenuous suddenly -this could have led to your spotting - or it could have just been nothing.

So take it easy darling - and try and rest.

Wheelymate 18 yrs ago

hi hkcc,

thanks for the kind thoughts!

yeah, i did get the jab that you mentioned in your reply to my food posting. the doc also gave me meds which he was the oral version of the jab that i will have to take for the next 2 weeks. did you also get a jab when you spotted? one of my friends was really surprised, saying that my doctor is just being over the top about it. she said when she had spotting, her doc just told her to take it easy and let life carry on, no bedrest, no meds, nothing.

definitely have to take it easy i think. but that is such a tall order for me. sitting on my butt all day and trying not to think about my kid who needs me, the laundry that is piling up, the dishes that need washing, you get the picture. and yes, my parents are around and yesterday my kid was out with them for the very first time without me! but i guess i don't have a choice, not if i want to ensure as best as i can this pregnancy goes well. and i am taking whatever help i can. my babygroup has been great - one of them is picking my kid up so that he can spend the afternoon at theirs and have dinner and bath. and another one will drop off some food when she is free this week. i just feel really bad for my hubby - he's just started on his business, working from home so this is really difficult. he's great about it, doing what he can. but i think if i need more bedrest, there are employment agencies that i can use to hire a mother's help - a babysitter of sorts for a few hours per day.

crj 18 yrs ago

WM, SIT DOWN, LET FLAT GET DIRTY, ORDER FOOD, LET PARENTS TAKE CARE OF KIDS....

REST REST REST

... and get some good DVDS...

:)

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

well - I can put it to you this way.

It's sort of TRAINING for when you have two anyways! because even WITH a helper - life is JUST SO MUCH MORE HECTIC than before - and stuff STILL doesn't get done - and it's okay. No one dies, suffers, or gets tortured from it. (okay - I sort of do - but that is just me.) So - I would tell you to just begin to think about how many things you CAN give up. And LET EVERYONE help you - why not! Help is FREE, FREELY given, and FREELY accepted. It's wonderful. I think that life often gives you this situations to make you really appreciate and love the ones around you. A friend of mine gave a really nice analysis about relying on others for help - she said "it makes the OTHER person feel good too - that they CAN do something. That you CAN rely on them and that you CAN count on them. It's a great feeling to be relied on, counted on and believed in." I think it is true. So use it woman.

(and hire some extra help for the day to get the stuff around the house done.)

Kisses and hugs to you and the little one growing inside of you.

p.s. no jab when I spotted - the efficacy of urgestan is debated - it's more of a doesn't hurt, COULD help type of situation. The jab seems a bit over the top to me - especially if the bleeding stopped. It can make you feel bloated and a bit yucky - but take it anyways.

MayC 18 yrs ago

Wheelymate,

I'm so sorry to hear that you spotted and can understand your fear. But rest assured, you have seen a heartbeat which reduces the miscarriage rate dramatically and it seems that the spotting has stopped. My aunty also bled in the first trimester, was kept off her feet and she's gone on to delivery a healthy baby girl (my cousin) at full term. I know it's easier said than done but do keep positive.

We expect things to go smoothly and we're gutted when little things go wrong. I can relate very well but keep your chin up. It'll be okay. Just have plenty of rest and take it easy. Maybe it's nature's way to tell you to slow down a little.

I am trying to be positive too in light of my condition. I got my date wrong and I won't be seeing Dr Philip Ho until next week. I've been son anxious that I got my dates wrong. It's next Monday.

Because my gynae found a cyst on my right ovary, yesterday, I said to hubby, "I can feel it hurting". And today the pain has disappeared. I'm due to ovulate on the 1st. Hubby and I will have another romp tonight ;-) I seem more relaxed now after my diagnosis with regards to babymaking. Intercourse doesn't hurt now when it really hurt a bit before and I feel closer to hubby. We're just going at it normally and see if it happens. If it doesn't, I won't beat myself up for it, knowing that I may possibly have endo.

I also spoke to two friends who have had endo and both have two kids. So there's hope at the end of the tunnel. But both did surgery.

I'm just not so sure if surgery is needed coz my gynae only suspects endo because of my cyst and because I told her about my cramps (and ttc for 7 mths). She won't know for sure until she cuts me open.

Wheelymate 18 yrs ago

ah mayc, you must be very stressed out to mix up the dates! :)

don't be too hard on yourself and just try what you can.

thanks for your kind thoughts re. my pregnancy. i just packed my son off for the afternoon to my friend's house. she kindly offered to pick him up to play with her daughter for the afternoon, dinner and all. at first he was ok but burst into tears the moment he realised it just him going. i'm swear i wanted to burst into tears too! but it's better this way. this friday morning we have a potential mother's help coming in for a trial session, hopefully this works out.

MayC 18 yrs ago

I don't know if any of you girls are still following this thread, but I just wanted to let you girls know that I had my second opinion today regarding surgery and endometriosis.

I saw Dr Phillip Ho and he was excellent. He was very thorough, very professional and patient. Didn't rush through anything.

Anyway, he said that it definitely looks like I have two endo cysts on my right ovary but they are quite small. He said to try for another 6-9 months first and see whether or not I fall pregnant naturally before considering surgery. Any surgery would reduce the size of ovaries. So he said I'll see you back in 6-9 months and hopefully it's with good news.

I don't know whether to smile or cry. Smile that he thinks I still have a chance to conceive on my own without surgery. Cry because he's confirmed that I have two endo cysts.

Girls, please keep your fingers crossed for me. Hopefully I'll have good news to share in the next few months.

Wheelymate, how are you doing? I hope everything's okay now. How's the new help?

HKCC - You still have 2 months or less before you get to find out the sex of your bb, right? Good luck and I hope it's a boy for you ;-)

With all the other girls who are trying, good luck and hopefully we don't have to wait long in our quest.

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

Hi MayC -

I also asked my father about the cysts thing for you - and he says unless he had seen you it would be hard to tell. But he did say that he has MANY patient who manage to get pregnant - some with cysts on both sides - and it hasn't caused major problems. He did say that it possibly could take longer - but that is not always the case either. So good luck - take it easy - stress is your enemy in any case for conception.

As for gender finding - my husband is a barbarian and refuses to find out. So I wont' know if it is a son or not. But people keep telling me how HORRIBLE I look - which to Koreans is a definite sign I'm having a boy. there is something about the nose too - the "pregnancy" glow - I don't have it. I had it with the other two - but don't with this one. I'm just pooped and exhausted all the time...sigh...

Okay- going for my quick cat nap. Gotta rest up before teaching...

Joanne

Wheelymate 18 yrs ago

Hi mayC,

Thanks for asking!

I am nearly going mad after 1 week of house arrest. My doc said bedrest for at least a few days and my hubby wanted me in bed for a week but I begged him to take me out over the weekend. it was nice to have some fresh air!

The new help isn't exactly Mary Poppins but more than adequate to look after my child 4 hours in the morning for the next few months. She is also preschool trained and worked in childcare centres before so that is reassuring. Hubby is more than relieved with help because he really needs to work and while I feel guilty about not being able to do the regular stuff with my child, it really makes a difference to have an extra pair of hands.

honestly, even though i've not had spotting since last sunday, it has been a very stressful week - i worry everytime i go to the loo. i worry everytime my tummy starts twinging or if i ate something my tummy didn't agree with (too much curry one night) - i keep thinking, oh no, i am losing the baby. physically, i am sick and exhausted and i think the progesterone pills really make things worst.

so i am just hoping to get through this week and that my doc will tell me things seem back to normal next monday. hopefully no pills from then on and i can do abit more with my child.

mayc, at least you have sought medical advice and you know what the potential issue is - which may or may not be a problem. so keep trying like the doc advised and hope for the best. keep us posted on this thread, we're here to lend a listening ear!

Wheelymate 18 yrs ago

hkcc,

i looked really rough when i was pregnant with #1 and everyone told me it's because i'm having a boy!

MayC 18 yrs ago

HKC, that is very sweet of you, to have asked your dad on my behalf. While I am gutted that he's confirmed that I have endo cysts (and I forgot to mention, possibly a bit too on the left ovary), at least I have a plan of action. It's always a major bummer to find out something's wrong, especially when it wasn't an issue before and because it means so much for me to have another, but I guess life isn't smooth-sailing.

I think the Chinese believes in that too:- If you look ugly, you're carrying a boy. I think it's great to wait for the birth to find out the gender. We did the same for ours as well. You'll have to come back and post when you deliver because we're all dying to know too ;-)

Wheelymate, thank you for your kind words. It's so nice that I have you girls... it's like even before I posted today, I kind of knew (or hoped) that you girls would respond and you did. Your support is REALLY helping me emotionally.

I know how you feel about worrying all the time when you go to the loo. I did the same with my first. Dr said I would bleed and each time after Week 20, when I had any discharge I would rush in wondering if I was bleeding. I can see that you have the same worry too and it can't be easy. If you're still worried, maybe you could go earlier to see your dr. At least that would put your mind to rest.

It's good to hear that your helper is giving the two of you some much needed break, although not exactly Mary Poppins ;-) But then again, you wouldn't want Mary Poppins so your son will want you more ;-)

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

WM -

when I bled in the 16th week with #2 - every trip to the bathroom was torture. It was spotting and then when I went to the bathroom in the evening when my husband came home -the gush of blood - oh gosh - I was sobbing bitterly. We rushed to my doc in the middle of the night (you should have seen HER with no makeup - hair in rollers and her house slippers on - really funny) and she confirmed the heartbeat.

But each day after that - I freaked out. My doc actually had warned me that with my condition (a placental lake) that I would probably have a FOLLOW UP bleed - which would be the remainder of the old blood flushing out - and I did - when my mother in law was here. That was scary too - but all progressed well and now here I am - almost mother of 3.

MayC - no problem. My dad doesn't mind- but he always says, "I cannot be sure unless I actually SEE the patient" but he's able to offer some consulting advice. He also mentioned that it was highly possible that you HAD it when you conceived your first - but weren't aware.

Good to hear that the ugly factor is worth something. Today - one of my student's moms saw me after a week and said to me, "Oh - you look really really bad. ARe you okay?" and all I coul dreply was - I don't know. I mean - how HORRIBLE MUST I look that the only comment I elicit from people is how godawful I look. sigh...never got these comments when pregnant with the girls. I hope this little one comes out with an extra appendage....

Wheelymate 18 yrs ago

oh hkcc,

at 16 weeks, it must have been a serious shock to you. you know, i am only 8 weeks and i have told myself that sometimes stuff happens, especially in the 1st tri. but still when it happened, i was so freaked out at the thought of a miscarriage and crying like mad asap. my hubby and our little guy came running along, my hubby trying to comprehend what i was trying to tell him through my tears and my son staring at me, thinking, why is mummy crying like that. and i kept screaming call my mum call my mum now (she's a nurse).

oh the drama....i really need to get a grip!!!

back to the gender talk - i was puking my guts out with #1 even in the office and when i finally made the announcement (in a very small and all women office), everyone just looked at me and said, well erm they suspected....mostly from the sounds coming from the bathroom, LOL! and the mothers among the group said that from how rough i looked, they guessed as much but didn't dare to ask....and then they said being so ill and looking so awful (how dare they i thought at that point) meant it would be a boy!

spicegal 18 yrs ago

I was in HK when pregant and everyone said I was having a boy cos my skin was so good... they said if it was a girl there'd be too many female hormones and it'd wreck my skin!! Just goes to show the number of tales around - anyway, I had a girl!

MayC, just wanted to send you a hug following your diagnosis. I had awful period issues and ovarian cysts and it took a while to get pg, but I got there in the end so hang on in there. And once pregnant I had weekly u/s's during the first trimester (from 5 weeks) to make sure the cysts weren't having any impact on the baby. It could be totally different type of cyst but there's lots of stories of hope on this board so fingers x-ed for you.

MayC 18 yrs ago

HKCC, your dad is right, I have a feeling that I had endo BEFORE and DURING my first pregnancy. The reason being, my gynae found 3 ovarian cysts and she wasn't sure whether I had them before my pregnancy or all pregnancy related. Now I definitely think I had all these cysts before I became pregnant. If this is true, then maybe I was VERY lucky to fall pregnant so easily the first time. You know how your dad said it takes longer to fall pregnant? Would he recommend to just wait it out or do a surgery? I heard that my right ovarian endo cyst is only 2cm. Thank you so much, HKCC, I really appreciate all the information you've given me thus far. Apart from this thread, I really don't know where else to get support.

Regarding gender, when I carried my first, everyone commented on how well I looked. And mine turned out to be a girl (as predicted). Same deal with another friend of mine. She looked really good when she was pregnant with her girl. But I guess it's not always accurate - as in spicegal's case ;-)

Spicegal, did you have have any treatment with your cysts? How long did it take you to fall pregnant? My first was quick... I don't know what long means... I hope we're not talking years.... it'll be so awful for me because we're so keen.....

spicegal 18 yrs ago

MayC, it took me 6 months - which isn't unusual as I was 31 at the time - and then they just monitored the cysts - they told me I'd probably need surgery around 20 weeks but as it happened in the first trimester the major cyst grew, but beyond that as the baby grew the cyst didn't grow any more. So all was fine, it just meant they did a couple of extra scans during the pregnancy which was fine by me!

BTW, I know people have said this already but I fell pregant as soon as I relaxed about it all - went on holiday and forgot about everything and voila! Of course whether things work out like that the second time, as you yourself know, could be very different.

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

Hi May -

let me ask my father specifically what he would recommend. But he's not the best person to ask for such specific advice since he hasn't seen you. Your doc's recommendation is probably far better in this case. If Dr. Ho is saying to wait it out - given his track record and his reputation - I'd say it's worth a try. (technically he'd make more money giving you the procedure, right?)

and for gender talk - today was another day looking like crap. I just took a look at MYSELF in the mirror and I freaked out - didn't recognize myself. I do look horrible - pregnancy glow? HA...no such thing for me...I think I need to go get some ice cream - it's the only thing that puts me in a good mood...hahahha... I'll be happy with a healthy fit baby - either way...but I think if we do have another gorgeous lovely baby girl - I may have to try one more time for the elusive male baby...meanwhile - why is it MY body that suffers these 9 months (did I tell you I majorly go bald after giving birth too?) and it's my husband's sperm that can't seem to make the deed happen?

Wheelymate 18 yrs ago

hahahah hkcc,

my son was born with a whole head of gorgeous hair but became bald at 4 months....and then it all grew back!

i am feeling the love for ice-cream too...just hope i can keep it in. :)

wow.....you are expecting #3 but already planning for #4! i admire you, the thought of 4 is scary in terms of responsibilities! hope i am not being rude by asking but is your husband the only/eldest son and therefore the older generation will like a grandson to carry the family name? my aunt had 2 girls before she had a boy.....i think she would have stopped at 2 if one had been a boy!

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

husband - only son of a father who has recently passed. HE is potentially the only male to carry on the family name as the other uncles sons - all had daughters and are too old to continue. - not rude - it's obvious. But I don't WANT to plan for #4 - my mother is already jumping up and down telling me to get my tubes tied and end it once and for all. She's concerned about my health and well being and my overall ability to just be SANE after having 3.

I have nice bangs right now - all the hair that went bald growing back...and by the time it grows out long enough for me to tie back the way i like - i'll be bald AGAIN...sigh...

I'm off to get ice cream. ITs' the only thing tha t I keep down well...

Havefaith 18 yrs ago

HKCC,

I hope it is a boy for you this time - 4 seem alot!

Havefaith

Starbucks2 18 yrs ago

Hi there

How are all the pregnant ladies doing? As a TTC'er, I have missed hearing about you all.

Starbucks2

squiggles 18 yrs ago

hiya,

I'm doing ok having been through two house moves recently. finally settled and back on line now. however, my little one has started to play up big time and not sure whether it's the change in locations or the bump i have which is unsettling him. But what it means is that it now takes him 1 hr+ to fall asleep at normal bedtime with someone present (we normally just leave him and he's fine) and he now wakes up 3 times a night and cries until i go in and settle him again. This whole saga is a lot more complicated with him also going from a cot to a bed (climbed out) and a grobag to a duvet (too dangerous and he refused point blank to wear one last week) and so I am a little sleep deprived at the moment! he's also refusing his lunch time nap....

Doc says all is ok with No 2 - I've not put much weight on with the stress of the renovation, move and now my little one, and to cap it all off, i'm off to UK on Friday night on my own with the Duracell Bunny!

Wish me luck!

Wheelymate 18 yrs ago

SB2,

we're at 11 weeks, aside from morning sickness, things are ok so far. next check-up is in 1.5 weeks, fingers crossed all is still well, baby's heartbeat still there, etc. i cannot stop stressing ever since my spotting incident.

not sure what your situation is TTC1 or 2 but hope all is well on your side!

squiggles: good luck with your flight to UK. we're not visiting the UK this summer, the idea of travelling with morning sickness and my duracell bunny and living like nomads for 3 weeks is wayyyyy too stressful. the hubby will just have to squeeze in a visit to the family during a potential work trip in sept!

and to everyone else too, hkcc....mayc, how have things been?

MayC 18 yrs ago

Hi everyone,

Not much happening down my end. After my diagnosis, I stopped putting too much hope each month with TTC. I got my period on time this month and I was well prepared to be in agony again (a sign of endometriosis) but lo and behold, no pain! So my system's a bit weird. I don't even feel any pain from my cyst and I was told that I SHOULD be feeling some pain.

I'm due to ovulate again sometime at the end of this week/early next week. I've started hubby on red ginseng again and robitussin for me. So we'll see how that goes. After the endo seminar hubby and I attended, I asked him if he learnt anything. He said, "Yes, I learnt that we do not have to do it every day or every other day. 3 times a week is enough".

I'm due to ovulate on the 2nd of July

Emotionally, I've been REALLY devastated but am slowly coming to terms with it. I'm reading up on IVFs, IUIs and even adoption. I know I'm looking too far ahead and hopefully I don't ever have to go down those path... but I think it helps me accept my situation more. Sometimes I think to myself that if I only have one daughter, then so be it. I love kids and have always wanted a big family.....but things sometimes don't always go as planned. I mean, who knows, I fell pregnant with endo once (without knowing I had endo), so I may end up falling pregnant with #2 or #3 the same way!! I signed up for another forum, a US endometriosis support group and got talking to a few ladies, all of whom failed to conceive this month too... and I cried hearing some of their stories. I don't know whether my siutation is good or bad. Dr tells me to WAIT for 6 months and do nothing... but it is this "DOING NOTHING" that really kills sometimes. Others are going through surgery, IVFs, IUIs etc to try to get pregnant and they have a chance and here I am "DOING NOTHING" and expecting to fall pregnant. I know that if I need the surgery and don't fall pregnant after, I will be devastated. Wanting babies and all seem so much a nightmare now.

Another thing that's weird about this cycle is that I see lots of CM today and I'm expecting my OPK to turn positive only on the 2nd... hmm....no harm in doing the baby dance tonight, huh? I've given up buying OPKs now, my cycles are too predictable. I have thought of buying a Basal Body Temperature, though. The last gynae I saw asked if I kept a chart and I didn't have one to show.

Wheelymate - if there's one sickness that's worth having, it is definitely morning sickness!!! ;-) It's an indication that all is well. Spotting does make ANYONE nervous and I can understand your feeling. But in just 1 more week, you'll be over the first trimester and if you take it easy for another couple of weeks or so, you can be certain that all is well because the chances of miscarriage reduces dramatically at that stage.

SB2, where are you at with TTC? Is it your first or second? Good luck, I'm still in the game and still trying to figure out whether I have a big problem with fertility or small. The drs seem to say a "small problem" but it doesn't seem small from what I've read about endo. Maybe they are just downplaying it because of how worried I get over it.

Squiggles - wow, you've been busy. It's most likely the change of environment that's causing him to feel unsettled. It's the same for my daughter. If we're home, she falls asleep so easily. When she's at grandma's or our villa in China, she takes ages to fall asleep. She eats less too when she's not at home. It could just be a comfort thing for her.

HKCC, how are you? I've bought the book, "Taking Charge of your Fertility" that you recommended. I must admit it takes a lot of self discipline and time to understand your body and to follow the recommendations in the book.... but there are so many things mentioned there that I didn't know about. I'm only reading sections at a time but I bet in a few months time, I'll probably be an expert at it ;-)

Starbucks2 18 yrs ago

Hi everyone

Thanks for the updates!

MayC I can understand that you are stressed about the doctors verdict but try not to think too far in advance (easier said than done I know). Perhaps having all the info on other options will make you feel like you have a bit more control.

To Squiggles and Wheelymate - take care of yourselves and rest whenever you can. Everyone says that it is such much more tiring when you already have a little one that needs your love and attention.

As for me, well we lost a baby at 20 weeks along in Feb so have taken some time to come to terms with it and feel that we are ready to try again. If we are lucky then this will be our first. This is the first month of serious concentrated trying! Bought the ovulation kits to see if we can track some pattern as it took a few months after Feb for things to settle back down. Am in the 2 week wait period at the moment so it is the hard wait. This weekend/early next week will have been my due date for the baby that we lost so I am expecting to be a little fragile around then but to be honest, I think of her every day anyway. It was so easy for us to get pregnant the first time but ended so tragically. Hoping that it will be as easy this time (although it doesn't seem to work that way) but know that I will be a worrying mess either way. Amazing how it can be so difficult to get and keep a pregnancy but it really is a miracle when it goes right.

Best wishes to all who are currently pregnant and best of luck to those who are trying.

SB2

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

SB2 -

so hard to hear about a lost baby at 20 weeks. That sort of story always breaks my heart - because at that point - we generally feel good about what's happening to the baby. I'm at 16.5 weeks or so - but I'm generally pretty confident things will go smoothly - but most recently two people in our neighborhood with whom I am acquaintances with miscarried at 18 and 21 weeks. So, it just makes me even more cautious.

This is my 3rd so it seems that things happen a lot faster. I currently seem to be "allergic" to pregnancy - I wake up every morning sneezing like a maniac, and since my muscles are starting to relax - well - let's just say my urinary control isn't what it used to be. I tried to do my kegels and to remind myself to do them all the time, like when I am typing at the computer or cooking or something like that - but you know - sneezing, massive laughter or coughing - bam...more laundry. HAHAHHAHA. I'm also already showing. My first two I didnt' show well into 20 weeks - and now my stomach is already pooching out - and my daughter tells me that I have a big tummy.

MayC - one step at a time...if you can, do BD - and you'll see. I think your doctor is right to wait - you're still relatively young and so before you do anything too invasive and drastic, see if nature can take it's course again - and make a little miracle in your uterus.

I'm so tired these days - my parents are incredibly worried that I will try for a 4th if this one is another girl - my father (ob) has already tried to talk my husband out of it, but he said my husband didn't listen. I actually would like a 3rd girl - as my other two are so different and so fun. But - there is that unspoken pressure to produce a male heir.

So a question for all those who are conceiving - once you are done having babies - how many are considering permanent birth control (either tubal ligation for a woman, vasectomy for men) My husband has staunchly refused to consider either, but my mother and father, if this one is an unsuccessful VBAC and I end up with a c-section - they want me to just get the tubal ligation while I'm already open. I know it's odd to ask this question on a TTC thread - but you know - I'm just trying to get a sense of what the current climate is. My mother in law doesn't want my husband to get anything done to his "manhood" either...

Wheelymate 18 yrs ago

SB2,

I am so sorry to hear about what you went through. It's really sad but I hope you will keep trying and that things work out. My friend had 2 m/cs before she had her 1st child, she never gave up hope. My best wishes to you.

HKCC, are you doing a scan to find out the sex? Re your perm birth control question, i don't think my hubby will ever go for one. and probably neither will i. i'm 27 this year and even though we have said that 2 is ideal, i still have time to have a 3rd one if we find ourselves wanting to have one in the next few years. so i think i'm keeping my options opened. the reason why we think 2 is ideal for now is based on our finances, we feel that with 2, we can really give them what we can. with 3, of course there is enough love to go around, but money will definitely be tighter. maybe it sounds superficial but my family was quite tight with money as we were growing up, having 2 working parents and being looked after by grandparents who ran their own business meant i never had a chance at enrichment classes like swimming, computer, ballet, piano, whatever, no holidays, we could not have an overseas uni education like some of friends did even though we did just as well, if not better, nothing. i know a kid doesn't need all that to be fulfilled but as a parent now, i want to give my kids all that i can!

Starbucks2 18 yrs ago

Thanks HKCC and Wheelymate for your kind thoughts. Fingers crossed for me for early-ish July.

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

WM - the scan to find the sex?

husband is also STAUNCHLY against. But I've been going to all my scans by myself and the most recent one last week, I asked the technician, "can you see the sex today?" and she responded yes. So I said, "we dont' want to know." And she giggled and said, "no problem I wont' even go near the area." But I REALLY wanted to know.

so about 5 minutes into the scan (this is the standard tour and measurement of essential body parts like head circumference, abdominal circ, femur length and whatnot) I ask her, "do you know what it is?" and she smiles and says, "yes." SO I got REALLY excited - thinking - well - if she wasn't even filming near there, but SAW something, that must mean it's a BOY! (all of our friends who have conceived sons say it's REALLY obvious when it's a son.)

So I go home and ask my father, and he started laughing MANIACALLY. And he said, "I dont' know WHAT she was thinking but that is totally inconclusive. I am not a mind reader. And if YOU wanted to know so badly, you should have just asked her." Which is true. Silly me. I WOULD have if I could have kept it a secret from my husband - but as it is - I'm a horrific liar and if he asked me point blank, I'd fold and tell.

But I DID upload my ultrasound to show my husband, and I told my father to watch too. My father said nothing conclusive was on there, so I guess it's a draw. My husband watched it as well - and he said HE couldn't see anything and commented it looked like it was going to be 4 women against one man.

Another girlfriend told me I'm crazy to already be considering permanent birth control when I'm still pregnant, and worrying about #4, when I haven't even had a baby yet. HA. I'm just SOOO TIREd.

Wheelymate 18 yrs ago

oh man!

i couldn't possibly go through 9 months not knowing the baby's gender. i mean, it wouldn't matter whether it's a boy or girl - but i just can't bear the suspense!!

well done you that you've managed not to know for the last 2!!

i have no gut feeling what this one might be. my hubby and i chat about names sometimes and we keep coming up with girl's names...so maybe that's what we're leaning towards, hahaha....

actually it's not mad to be considering perm birth control. after my aunt had her 3rd kid (a boy after 2 girls), she apparently to have her tubes done asap but the hospital (being a catholic run one) apparently refused....not sure how true!

Wheelymate 18 yrs ago

MayC,

i didn't response to your post yet. i know you are feeling v emotional about this all but i think it's great you're doing something about knowing more about endo.

my friend has very bad endo forever so her doctor told her when she was a teenager before that she would have almost no chance of conceiving. but on her wedding night, a miracle happened, her son is about one month younger than mine.

so even if the road might be abit more rocky, don't give up hope. keep trying. call me crazy but i read this book recently called the stork club. it's non-fiction, about this journalist who just couldn't conceive for years. she tried everything, all the drugs, acupuncture, IVF, etc...they all failed. and then lo and behold, one day she got pregnant, naturally. so i think it's great you're keeping your options opened about ivf, adoption and what not but your doc has told you to try naturally first so don't go thinking the worst. keep your spirits up!

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

WM -

we have our son's name picked out- if it is a boy. Lincoln. No girls names although I would LOVE to revive Madison - which was #2's name until our family with crazy accents couldn't pronounce anything except for Medicine. VERY disappointing. We had two close friends both pick Jackson for their sons recently. Husband is not around so the major name debate hasn't come into it yet - but I'm sure once I finally get in the same country with him we'll get our sheet of paper, the postits and do our traditional ranking system and elimination system which we've done often.

I posted on moms and dads about the vasectomy and tubal ligation question. I'm actually pretty curious about it.

Wheelymate 18 yrs ago

re: ligation

i said yesterday that i doubt my hubby will ever go for it. but this morning when i asked him, he said once we're really done with kids, he wouldn't mind if it means unprotected sex with me for the rest of his life, hahahaha! maybe he's freaked out now because i told him that after this pregnancy is over, he's not coming near me without any form of birth control again. he doesn't believe in the pill by the way.

madison and lincoln are nice but depending on your relatives, the names can sound totally mangled like you said. there were other names on our list that i just thought, nah forget it, it's never work with our relatives and i'm sure it'll be ripped to pieces in school as well...kids can be cruel!!

MayC 18 yrs ago

HKCC, oooo, tubal ligation is a tricky question. Say if I were in your shoes and thinking, "Two are already a handful and it'll be harder when number three is here, I can't imagine number four". But then you never know... coz if your next is a girl, you may consider #4. And even if #3 is a boy, you may decide later on that you want to try for another "male" sibling for him and you may even be quite happy if the next turns out to be a girl because #3 is already a boy. So there are so many possiblities and what you think you may not want now may not be what you want when you are at that stage. For me I think I wouldn't do it because that means I would have been limiting my options. I mean, I may not want so many children but it's nice to know that I have that option. Now remind me that I said that when I've had all the children I want and still in agony from period cramps ;-)

I quite like the name Madison. My daughter's name is Annelise. "Anne" and "Elise"(short for Elizabeth) in one. If I have another girl, I will probably call her Gemma or Gillian. If it's a boy, it'll be Cameron or Jadyn. I'm not so sure yet ;-) Ah, I've got to get pregnant first.

SB2, I'm so so sorry to hear of your loss. But it'll make you stronger and more appreciative of your next baby. I'm keeping my fingers and toes crossed for you.

I'm due to ovulate in 2 days time. Yesterday we did our first baby dance. We'll skip today and will do it again tomorrow. We're going for the every other day method to see if it works. I'm okay now emotionally. I've stopped pinning so much hope. I only know that I will be devastated if even after surgery I'm not pregnant. Please keep your fingers crossed for me that at least within a year from now, I'll be pregnant. Am trying to stay as calm as I can.....

Wheelymate, do keep us updated when you get to the gender stage ;-) All my friends have had one of each. Sooooo lucky. Hope it's a girl for you this time 'round ;-)

Wheelymate 18 yrs ago

morning glory,

i never bought those OPK tests after all, my friend passed me her extra strips but i never got around to using it. perhaps you can try the pharmacy? i see various brands on sale in singapore, should be the same in HK.

mayc: i hope you'll get lucky soon! by the way, the month we conceived, we BD every other day, not every day. after reading this forum and becoming so much more aware of how complicated pregnancies can be, i don't wish for a boy or girl anymore...i just want a trouble-free pregnancy/delivery and a healthy baby! i'm definitely finding out though so we can go shopping for new stuff if indeed it's a girl and will definitely keep you guys posted!

babybemine 18 yrs ago

You can buy the OPK tests (Clearblue brand) from Watsons or Mannings in Hong Kong. There are 5 in a box and the cost is around HK$270. You may find you need all the tests in the box the first time. After you know your cycle, you may not need a full box every time.

Joyce f, are the Chinese-made ones available in HK? Fingers crossed for you for your next IVF.

spicegal 18 yrs ago

The chinese brand ones are available in Watsons or mannings on the mainland for about 65RMB - considerably cheaper than almost the same thing in HK. They only have chinese instructions sometimes though.

Maybe you can get a friend to get them on a shopping trip to Shenzhen or something. Or for the money you're saving per set of 5 tests take a trip up there yourself.

babybemine 18 yrs ago

Joyce, I just sent you a PM. Thanks very much for your kind offer. Not all that worried about the cost at the moment. Just praying that we get lucky soon. I've read stories of people getting PG naturally while waiting for their IVF, so fingers crossed that you will be one of them -- it just takes one egg and one sperm.

Starbucks2 18 yrs ago

Honestly, I don't know how us women stay sane whilst TTC'ing. I am due to get my period on or around 6th and every time I go to the bathroom my heart sinks as I hope that there is nothing there! Imagine how much worse I will be at worrying if it all does go to plan!!

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

SB2 - you are too cute.

Yes - it's insane - the whole waiting. My last round - I think I took 6 or 7 pregnancy tests because I was testing too early (and would refuse to believe that I WASN'T pregnant) and kept on getting negatives. Around the 5th test, a faint line starting showing up - it wasn't until the 7 test that I would actually believe.

However, I think it was better with my second pregnancy. I didn't have a lot of pressure on me or anything, and right before we were to go on vacation I turned to my husband and said, "you know - I feel WEIRD. i'm either getting sick or pregnant" And I was pregnant. But because I didn't worry about it - I think the experience was far more enjoyable.

but we worry and do go insane. i picked up crochetting and knitting - both to take my mind off of TTC. Good hobbies too - learned off of the internet and it kept my mind off of getting my body to do what I wanted it to do. HAHHAHA

We look forward to hearing your news on the 6th - and not to make you insane or anything - but TECHNICALLY a good HPT, could pick up a positive at this juncture...but don't go buy it just for that reason.

Wheelymate 18 yrs ago

we never stop worrying.

ttc - will it happen or not. when it does, take 10 tests for confirmation...then go to your GP only for him to do the same test, except you pay even more for it so that a medical professional can actually say, yes you are pregnant.

during pregnancy - worry about morning sickness but when morning sickness doesn't hit you hard, you worry if you are still pregnant. every scan is like a test...is the heartbeat still there? 12 weeks, you "pass" but then there's still the blood tests, 20 week scans and the rest of the pregnancy! and you don't really stop until you finally meet the new love of your life...a scary few seconds in case they don't wail their lungs out immediately, hubby tries to count and make sure baby has 10 fingers and 10 toes.

and then you have the rest of your child's life to worry about...

hahahahaha.....that's the story of my life and as stressful as it sounds, it's all worth it! SB2, best of luck on 6th and hope you get to join the worrywart brigade!! :)

Starbucks2 18 yrs ago

Thanks HKCC and Wheelymate. I really am going loopy but have my fingers, toes, arms and legs crossed for me and everyone else who is trying. HKCC - I am VERY tempted to take a test now but my hubby is away and he would kill me if I took it without him around (he is also sensible and would say that I am taking it too early)! Will give it a few days after the 6th if there is still nothing and then take a test. Shall report back either way. Have a good rest of week to all.

babybemine 18 yrs ago

Good luck SB2. All the waiting is horrible isn't it. Do you feel anything? For me, I will not know for another week, but do not feel anything, so already thinking about doing IUI next cycle.

MayC 18 yrs ago

SB2, good luck on the 6th!! I hope it's a positive for you ;-)

I've just completed my baby dance. We will try one more time tonight - just to cover our bases (in case I ovulate late for whatever reason). I will be testing in 12 days time so I'm praying and hoping for the best.

Babybemine, good luck to you too. I am trying to keep my mind off TTC too. My daughter has just started her summer holidays so I'm pretty sure she'll keep me busy. I've also been playing tennis and doing hip hop dancing with friends (as of recent). Hong Kong's great. My dance and tennis classes are only 5 minutes away from where I live!

Speaking of IUI, I'm thinking that if I don't fall pregnant naturally within 6-9 months, why not attempt IUI before my laparascopic surgery? I'm also giving myself another 4 months and if nothing, I may consider Chinese medicine. I've got nothing to lose ..... except lots of money :-(

Wheelymate, it's true that giving the amount of complications we've heard of or experienced, it really doesn't matter anymore whether we get a boy or a girl... as long as he/she is healthy.

I've been feeling lousy in the last few days (ovulation time) with this cycle. I've been getting aches and pains in my stomach. It's starting to ease up a little, thank goodness for that because I've been feeling miserable. Hope this is normal.

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

SB?

any news?

MayC 18 yrs ago

SB, I've logged on to find out about you too ;-)

Starbucks2 18 yrs ago

How sweet are you guys!

Well today was meant to be the day and no sign of anything as yet but could still be on its way I guess. Haven't taken a test but if no sign of anything by Monday I'll take one. Trying not to be too positive in case I am just setting myself up for disappointment.

Hvae a good weekend everyone!

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

SB2 -

you are disciplined but very smart. But I am still so excited on your behalf. You stay calm and reasonable and i'll just be excited, how is that?

Starbucks2 18 yrs ago

Thanks sweetie - sounds like a deal!

MayC 18 yrs ago

SB2, good luck for when you do test.

Do keep us posted.

11 days count down for me ;-)

Now I know why in some boards they call it the dreaded 2 weeks wait.

Wheelymate 18 yrs ago

SB2, you are very good to wait, i couldn't!!

don't think too much about it and good luck next week!!

Starbucks2 18 yrs ago

Thanks everyone. Will keep you all posted.

SB2

Starbucks2 18 yrs ago

Well - as predicted - I couldn't wait until Monday (I only sound like I am disciplined!) and took a test yesterday and ... it was positive! Can't believe it really so fingers crossed that this little one sticks around. After the trauma last time I feel like I won't even be able to relax until after the 20 week mark let alone the much higher stats before 12 weeks. Still - I am letting myself be a little excited. Thanks for all the fantastic support from the TTC1'ers, TTC2'ers and TTC3'ers. Much appreciated and expect the questions to come even more often now :)

SB2

Wheelymate 18 yrs ago

sb2,

ah!!!!!!!!!!!

congrats, so happy for you!!!!!!!

take care, start your folic acid if you haven't already....

i know it's hard to stay relaxed because of all thw what ifs....but just try! :)

Starbucks2 18 yrs ago

Thanks so much Wheelymate!

Havefaith 18 yrs ago

SB2,

Thats great news! Congrats!

Take care of yourself + I am sure all will be fine.

Havefaith

Starbucks2 18 yrs ago

Thanks Havefaith. I shall try and follow the message in your namesake! Still can't believe we have made it through the first difficult hurdle. Off to have a blood test this week to confirm.

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

CONGRATS!!!! I'm so happy for you SB!!! Now - just take it easy and relax and enjoy the next few weeks. Koreans believe that a positive and relaxed mindset is vital for you during this time.

And I am glad you cracked - fun finding out isn't it!

Starbucks2 18 yrs ago

Thanks HKCC. It was terrifying doing the test but very pleased with the result! I talk a good talk about being sensible and waiting to do the test but don't really walk the walk! Thanks for the advice and kind thoughts. Will try and stay positive.

SB2

MayC 18 yrs ago

SB2, congrats. That's excellent news!!!! Here's wishing you a smooth-sailing and healthy pregnancy!!!!

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for myself too.... now I'm the only one left in this TTC thread who's not pregnant yet :-(

I have until next Monday to test. I had really awful cramps on my lower abdomen last night and ended up vomiting. Dr thinks it's food poisoning.... arr.......

How are you HKCC and Wheelymate?

Havefaith 18 yrs ago

MayC,

Although I am a TTC1'er I have been on participating in this thread and feel I know you quite well, I am still left - not pregnant yet. In fact, I have gone thru so many group of friends - who are now all pregnant or have had their babies who are now toddler. Have faith - I will probably be the last on this thread.

Havefaith

Gabriella 18 yrs ago

Hi everyone,

This is a lovely thread to read. Congratulations to all those who are pregnant.

Havefaith, I am going to be TTC#2 in the next month or so as we are trying to have our babies very close together (our first is only 3 months). So maybe we can boost each other along.

MayC 18 yrs ago

Havefaith, thank you for writing in!! It HAS to happen for the two of us. All the others who have posted are all pregnant so hopefully their luck will rub off on us too!!! So Wheelymate, HKCC and SB2, don't forget to blow baby dust down our way!!! ;-)

Havefaith, I have been reading about you too. Last month alone, my two friends have given birth. One will give birth this month. Two have just started trying. All of them managed to conceive a girl and a boy. Most don't even know about ovulation or OPKs or BBTs or cervical mucus or ginseng or robitussin..... and now I'm an expert. Havefaith, your last statement could be seen as a positive statement in disguise. At least you still believe that you CAN get pregnant. Let's hold on tightly to that faith.

The problem with TTC is that our system is such a complicated process that ANYTHING can happen. An infertile couple can be trying for 10 years and succeed at the end of it. Another could be doing it once and succeed. We've both been pregnant before so hopefully this is a plus on our side.

Gabriella, welcome and good luck with TTC #2. You'll be able to find lots of helpful hints from the ladies who have fallen pregnant here. I conceived my first with the every-other-day method.... I changed it to everyday around ovulation since beginning of the year (I got desperate and obsessed).... now I've gone back to the every-other-day method. Hopefully it'll work. I asked my GP for more OPKs and she said, "Ah a waste of money for you because you're quite regular, you're always on a 30 day cycle". So now I'm doing NOTHING to help me get pregnant. I don't know whether to be glad that I've been told to try naturally without ANY help or cry because I feel I'm not being proactive.

Wheelymate, did you get the go ahead from your dr for your trip? I hope so ;-)

Havefaith 18 yrs ago

MayC,

I know what you mean by friends who are having children who dont know half as much as we do. I was taking advice from a friend who has 3 kids - beginning of last year. She suggested DH and I both stay away from caffeine - DH almost died - he needs his Grande Latte every morning to wake him up. He did not have any for about 3 months. Subsequently, I found out that caffeine actually gives the little guys a push. DH reminds me every now and then when I say "... this would help us get pregnant".

I still have faith. I think I am always the last one to get there - I was one of the last women to have a serious relationship and to get married amoungst my group of friends. It is not a surprise that I am also the last to have kids....

Havefaith

Wheelymate 18 yrs ago

hi ladies,

lots of activity today and good to see it's all positive thoughts and news!!

we had our 12 week check-up today. all seems well at the moment. my doc did a more thorough scan, looking at the nasal bone and what not for signs of down's but other than that, it was a routine check. and baby is really looking more like a baby, haha! next check-up at 16 weeks, we'll do the big triple test to check for all the stuff and then the 22 week detailed scan.

so mayc, he has given me the green light for a holiday, reckons it'll be good for me, hahaha! he thinks i'm a worrywart. and sex too, hahaha....i've been too freaked to do anything because of the spotting.

ah well, fingers crossed that things continue to go smoothly.

babydust to all!!

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

To MayC, Havefaith and the superbrave Gabriella (wanting the kids close together makes you superbrave in my book)-

lots of luck and good thoughts for getting pregnant. It's a lot of luck - some people seem to get lucky very easily and for others it's just so much harder. But in a really interesting way - those that have a harder time - seem to APPRECIATE it so much more. Especially husbands. Husbands seem to realize that pregnancy is hard when there are bigger struggles with infertility. My husband seems to think that babies pop out of me like popcorn pops - with little effort. And so he never understands when I'm feeling crappy or having a difficult time. (like this pregnancy -I'm super tired, and he just doesn't really notice it.) And then they also take children more for granted - like children are so easy -they just HAPPEN. So, these are little lessons - that will help you in the long run and inform your experience all the more.

Don't worry - Red ginseng, good rest, legs over your head - what other crazy nonsensical advice have we had here?

blessed 18 yrs ago

Hi All,

I hope you don't mind me 'intruding' here. I'm so happy for SB2 - I read on another thread about your previous pregnancy and I felt like crying afterwards. I honestly hope that this time round is all smooth sailing for you. You're such a strong person!

I'm no stranger to this board and after almost 2 years of trying, am finally 10wks along. I still have a long way to go but for all those still trying, DON'T ever give up hope. I like the analogy of an waiting to get on a plane...never thought of it that way.

I went in for a checkup today and saw the bubs moving around. Very 'cute'. Next scan is in two weeks and Dr will do the nuchal scan - one worry after another!!! I'm 35 now (36 when I give birth) so am kind of a borderline case. Fingers crossed that everything will be OK. Can someone tell me whether the nuchal scan + blood test is 'reliable' enough. Dr told me that it's 90% accurate and he told hubby and I to think about whether we want to do the amniocentesis (sp?). Any recent experiences to share? Much appreciated!

Take care and baby dust to all!!

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

Hi Blessed -

I'm in the exact same boat as you - I'm 35 now and will be 36 (just barely) when I give birth. My father is an OB, and he has told me that amnio is not necessary. And My friend, who will be my OB in the US, has also told me the same. Their explanation that although 35 is the cutoff number, it's not to say that there is a DRAMATIC increase in abnormalities in birth between 34 years to 36 years old. It's a nominal rise, but 35/36 is almost an arbitrary number ins some regards.

That being said - you also need to think about WHAT you would do with the amnio. The amnio can be done early - and should you choose to, you could terminate. BUT, similar information about some gross abnormalities will be available to you via ultrasound and other screenings - but by then, termination will be far more difficult. For my husband and me, termination is not at all a consideration and so we opted against an amnio. If there is information that we will need about our baby, ultrasound (level 4 screening that I will have in about 4 weeks) and quad test (blood test done between 15-18 weeks) will give us more indication, although it is not conclusive as an amnio.

The nuchal translucency and blood tests results are higher in HK than they are in the US. the Us, the rates are closer to 85% but that was enough of a positive rate for me. I had both nuchal and blood test and I was clear.

The decision to have an amnio is a hard one - but I think it should be based on what would you do IF you got unfavorable information. Do you think you would terminate? Then you should get the amnio. If you are sure that that is not an option for you, then there really isn't any need.

Gabriella 18 yrs ago

Hi,

I am just 37 (last week in fact), first bub was born when I was 36 - the doctor didn't mention amnio, well he did but it was in the context of your blood test is fine and the nuchal is fine so there is no need for an amnio.

Baby girl popped out just fine (er...slight understatement re'popped out', but best not to mention my length of time in labour or some of you might be scared:) So, personally unless you really want to go through with it or think it's necessary e.g. other tests are questionable, I wouldn't do it.

Blessed - big congrats! I know it is easier said than done, but don't fret, just enjoy.

Hkchoichoi - I'm not sure I am that brave...maybe it's the post pregnancy happy hormones making me forget the hard times:) I literally can not wait to have another baby. My little babe has given us so much joy - if I could, I'd have a house full of babies.

When I got pregnant last year it was actually with twins, but I lost one of them at around 3 months. Luckily the babies were fraternal and I was able to carry the other baby to term. I thank god for her every day. Every moment has been precious - the pregnancy - especially after loosing the other twin, the birth and even the sleepless nights. She smiles all the time and if cooing was an olympic event she would win:)

I can't wait to have another little angel, even having gone through the bitter sweet experience of my last pregnancy.

Havefaith 18 yrs ago

HKCC, Blessed, MayC, and All,

This is a great forum!

HKCC, You are so sensitive and supportive - which is sometimes not expected because it has been easy for you. A friend of mine asked me whether I would get an amnio when we had been TTC without success for about 6 months - then she went on and on asking about what I would do about all these -ve results if they did come about. I would have cried if I had not gone back to the office. It was easy for her - she is my age (almost 40) with a 7 and 9 yr old.

Gabriella, wouldnt it be great for you to get pregnant really soon - it will be like you had twins.

Blessed, Great news - Relax

Wishing you all a easy and smooth pregnancy (for those who are pregnant) and lots of babydust for the rest of us.

Havefaith

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

Havefaith -

I have had three really close close friends with really difficult infertility issues. My best friend just had her eggs harvested and then just got three embies planted this weekend. And so I'm on pins and needles and saying lots of fervent prayers for her. Her ordeal is 7 years - and finally she has decided to go for IVF. So - maybe I've seen my close loved ones suffer too much to be insensitive - or just that since my HUSBAND is so insensitive, I have to make up for it by being sensitive to others. (in all other regards my husband is quite lovely, but conception, pregnancy, labor and caring for children - wow - everything is easy for him.)

My best friend's husband - when he looks at my kids, and when he sees me pregnant - I can't describe the look of wistfulness and bittersweet sorrow in his eyes. It absolutely breaks my heart. He's been dying for it for so long - and so he appreciates it THAT MUCH MORE. it's like a long lost wish - and when it is given - wow - the anticipation and waiting has made it all the more special.

so something lovely and wonderful does come out of long waits and anticipations...and as your name says - Havefaith - it will happen soon. (good friend of mine - couldn't get pregnant after her husband had a reverse vasectomy had her first baby via IVF at 42 - and then accidentally got naturally pregnant after her first was 6 months old. ) So I know it can happen.

Gabriella 18 yrs ago

Havefaith,

My brother and his wife sound similar to HKCC's friends - tried for 6 years, then started IVF had 2 failed attempts and number 3 was the charm.

There second baby was a happy 'accident' and that time they didn't need IVF.

So hang in there - we will cross everything for you and send you good luck.

Gabriella 18 yrs ago

Oh and I would love to be pregnant again as soon as possible. I am breastfeeding though and I've heard that this makes it less likely to fall pregnant. So the next few months could be looonnnngggg :)

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

if you are breastfeeding - it does reduce your chances. Breastfeeding is a natural birth control - definitely NOT fool proof, but the breastfeeding act itself holds back ovulation. Have you had your first period yet? you will ovulate and then have your first period. I breastfed for over a year both kids. My first, my periods didn't return for 9 months and my second, my period returned after 5 months. The sign of your first period is the sign that your ovulation is returning- but even then, while breastfeeding, you can be extremely irregular. You may need to refer to the EARLIER part of this thread for tips on recognizing ovulation.

Havefaith 18 yrs ago

HKCC,

I cant wait for DH to be a Dad - he really is going to be so thankful when we get there. Lots of luck for your bestfriend with her ET.

Garbiella, Thanks for crossing everything for me -it is so sweet and funny at the same time.

Goodnight all,

HF

Gabriella 18 yrs ago

HKCC - no period yet..babe arrived in April. I would like to bf till 6 months if possible. So, we could have a bit of a wait for #2.

Havefaith - we can sit it out together.

Wheelymate 18 yrs ago

gabriella, my aunt tried 2 years to get pregnant with #1 but fell pregnant 6 months after #1 was born. she was so shocked because she was breastfeeding and her period had not returned.

oh man HKCC, it must be so hard for your best friend and hubby. hope things will happen for them someday.

for those on IVF, my sister-in-law had 2 IVFs to conceive her 1st 2 and the third child was conceived naturally. it was definitely a long road for her but she got there so hang in there!

lastly, Havefaith, your friend doesn't sound too supportive. stay away from her if she is keeping you down. i have a mummy friend that i was close to initially but since she's been pregnant again with her #2 (a few weeks ahead of me), not sure if it's the pregnancy hormones or whatever, she has been completely insensitive (esp. during my spotting incident, it was a get over it you wuss kind of response from her, no support, no offers to come over to play even though she had zero complications or morning sickness) and strangely competitive (slagging off my obgyn and whatever opinions i have on pregnancy...like hello, she's the only one qualified to have a baby). it's been disappointing and i am just staying away from her for the time being for my own sanity.

Havefaith 18 yrs ago

Wheelymate,

I know what you mean - I seem to have alot of insensitve friends around. Half of my friends are married with kids and the other half are singles. I never ask my single friends "Why are you not married? "Why are you not in a stable relationship?" - Similarly, I wish my married friends will leave me alone when it comes to having kids. If I had a penny for everytime a friend has asked me "Why arent you pregnant yet?" I will be a billionaire by now.

I think it is safe to assume that most people want the same things: marriage, kids, good health, comfortable lifestyle. If someone does not have one of the above, it is quite obvious that it is because fate has not provided the same.

Do stay away from your mommy friend until you are comfortable with it.

HF

MayC 18 yrs ago

Ah, Wheelymate and Havefaith, I only know too well the feeling of insensitive friends. I had one saying to me last week, "What happened to you? You were one of the first who mentioned wanting a second baby and the majority of us have delivered our second except for you". I mean, yes, that's true but you didn't have to state the obvious. But then again, he's a man and they are not known for being sensitive. But seriously when he said that in front of all the other mothers, I wanted to hide in a corner.

I agree with Havefaith, though. HKCC, you have been very supportive to all of us who are going through this nightmare of TTC despite your ease in falling pregnant. All your tips and advices have been very useufl to us.

Wheelymate, you too. Thanks for popping in to say hello to all of us who are still struggling. Okay, I'm being negative... I shouldn't say, "struggling"... I should say, "trying".

I have one more week before I test. Suddenly time is going sooooo slowly.... do I feel confident this cycle? I must admit I don't feel confident. I think you stop feeling confident when you're told you may have endo and when it's taken this long.

Havefaith, a year from now, both you and I better not be saying we are still trying. We will either be pregnant or have delivered our second.

Blessed, congrats. It gives us a lot of hope knowing that you're pregnant :-) Sometimes it's a bummer for us that we've started trying early, we didn't know it would take years and when we finally are, we worry about chances of downs etc. I think I would be comfortable with the results of the nuchal scan and blood tests. I would probably only consider an amnio if the former tests are not what I expect.

Gabriella, thanks for sharing your story about your twins. I can imagine just how much joy your daughter gives to you after your "hard times". I'm the same. I had complications throughout my pregnancy. First I was told I had three cysts and may need to be operated on while pregnant. And then I was told I had placenta previa leading to my daughter's premature birth at 33 weeks (she was very healthy though). She's going to be 3 now and there isn't a day that goes by where I don't thank God for her. She's my everything.... and I didn't know I loved being a mother until she came along... so I will cry if I cannot give her a sibling. Good luck with trying for #2. If I had known it was going to be this hard, I would have tried sooner... but too late now... I can't go back in time ;-)

Gabriella 18 yrs ago

Good luck to you too MayC.

It's a roller coaster of emotions isn't it? First of all you're worried you can't get pregnant, then every month you think 'maybe', then when it finally does happen there is the plethora of tests to check if everythings ok, then you hear horror stories and fret it might happen to you...then you have the baby and worry about them everyday. But isn't all worth it :) I wake up every morning and can't wait to see my little girl (this is after a night of 3 hourly feeds :). The first thing she does when she sees me is break into the biggest, gummy smile - I forget I am tired and am so grateful for her.

Fingers crossed for #2 (and #1 and #3 for everyone).

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

Hi ladies -

just got off with friend who did Embie transfer - she's in good spirits. She's been lying on her back for three days (she's going to do it for a week) only leaving her bed for bathroom. Meals and entertainment are brought to her while lying down. She told me that these three days are going by so slowly - but she's determined to do it and take the bed rest portion of IVF very very seriously. The doctor transferred 3 - the thing is that she has gotten pregnant before but miscarried. I think she's secretly worried that she can't CARRY a baby - so she's being extra extra careful.

Thanks for thinking I'm so supportive guys! So many on this thread were supportive of me during those early days - husband gone, I'm alone, trying to figure out if this one was going to "Stick." Not that I've had problems before - but you know the whole self doubt aspect of it...and even though it's #3, and you sort of worry a bit less (I think a more accurate description is that if you have two you just don't have TIME to think about it) you still worry. But I still have people who say to me, "Oh yeah. You're pregnant. I forgot." And I have to respond, "yeah - sometimes I forget too." Which is true.

To WM and Havefaith with the not so supportive friends - just avoid them. IT's not worth it. I was going through a rough patch with a friend - whose daughter was bullying mine - and wouldn't do anything about it. I thought of maybe confronting her and telling her about it - but in the end, avoiding her is just so much easier and better for me. Another friend was telling me, "why bother with the people who sap and suck the life out of you? Life is too short -spend time with the ones who rejuvenate you and build you up." It's true. I have a bit of a "rescuing" mentality I guess - but it only saps ME. So just push those women aside and forget about them.

Gabriella - you don't need to have a period in order to get pregnant - but you do need to ovulate. So a period is generally a good indication that ovulation has started, but you CAN get pregnant with out it (if you ovulate and happen to conceive.) A lot of people don't know WHEN they ovulate - I knew it the moment it happened with #2 afterwards - and from then on I was a condom nazi. I was SOOO scared of getting pregnant again. (I was REALLY exhausted after #2.) If you are really in tune with your body - you'll know.

Generally speaking, once babies start solids, mothers reduce their breastmilk and then periods start.

MayC -

always always stay positive. Keep doing what you're doing. My dad says that it is not hopeless for you and there is always a chance.

in the meanwhile, all you TTCers should eat right, exercise, get good rest, take your prenatals and Omega 3 oil - and just prime your body for optimum health.

Havefaith 18 yrs ago

MayC,

If a year from now I had delivered #2, it would mean I have twins this time around. I have been on thread for too long - so most of you think I have had a LOL. When I first started going on this thread I thought "TTC #2" meant "TTC Part2" so I quite happily participated. It was not until someone else joined in and explained she was TTC#1 but was joining in anyway.

HF

MayC 18 yrs ago

Oops, I made a blunder when I wrote "second"... but who knows, Havefaith, I may be right and you could be having twins ;-)

HKCC, thank you for your reassurance and that of your dad's. You know, over a year ago, hubby wanted to use condoms even during the time I was not ovulating because he was so afraid we'd fall pregnant. And now look at us....should have giving him a smack in the head back then (just kidding)!!! I am hopeful that perhaps I'm one of the lucky ones that CAN get pregnant naturally with endo albeit it has taken me so long. What scares me is knowing that 30-40% of infertile couples have endometriosis. That's a REALLY scary stats for me.

Now if you ask me whether or not I'm displaying any pregnancy symptoms (I get to test in 7 days), I'd have to say none except for my stomach cramps from food poisoning. Am I hopeful? Well, err.... a little I guess coz I'm counting down the days.... but not too hopeful either because I'm eating raw salmon and beef (half cooked). I've spent too long avoiding these luxuries.

Now if I'm not pregnant this cycle, my new strategy is going to be chinese medicine. My friend has just given me a contact number of a dr from the Chinese University. My friend had multiple miscarriages and was able to carry her son to term after her treatment.

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

MayC -

if you're serious about alternative medicine, there is this Korean Traditional Medicine doctor in Seoul- and he is supposedly AMAZING at curing infertility. A friend of a friend, (westerner) after failing at IVF and a number of other protocols decided to go with this Korean doc - and she got pregnant in a month after treatment. I've recommended him based on this recommendation to a few people - and on person took me up and is now pregnant. You'll need a translator - but he lives nearish me - so if you want to make a trip before I leave the country - let me know.

Havefaith 18 yrs ago

MayC,

A friend of mine got pregnant after 10 IUI's with her 2nd LOL - during her 2ww after her 10th IUI she let herself go and had wine and raw oysters for dinner one night out. She was certain she was not pregnant - guess what - she is now 5 months pregnant. Dont be too worried - it will soon be our turn to get on a flight!

HF

blessed 18 yrs ago

Hello all,

Thanks for all the well wishes and experiences/opinions on the nuchal trans. If all goes well, DH and I probably won't do the amnio. Like HKCC said, I'm kind of borderline case and anyway we'll decide according to the results. Actually, I'm not completely out of the woods yet so am still cautiously optimistic about things.

Havefaith, wheelymate - DON'T let these people affect you. They're totally clueless. I have a friend who's a little like that...everytime we met for dinner, it would be "Are you and DH busy at it?" or "Are you still considering having a family?" It got to me so much that I actually said no to a few dinner proposals. The best for me was to keep away from these people.

MayC - Are you doing acupuncture? There is some truth in alternative treatments and the balancing of the 'qi'. If anything, acupuncture is relaxing.

Have a sore back and the pain is right in the middle. Better go and lie down.

Take care everyone!

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

also ladies -

avoid food with nitrates as preservatives. (sausages, hotdogs, cold cuts - processed meats, pepperoni - all that yummy good stuff.) Nitrates have been linked to miscarriages - if you can avoid them (which is hard for me because I LOVE my sandwiches and sausages) try to do so for at least 12 weeks.

Wheelymate 18 yrs ago

hkcc,

i know about cold cuts but didn't know that sausages were bad news either!

damn...and to think i was planning to indulge in my latest craving - bangers and mash!

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

if you can find a nitrate free one - eat it. But sausages have a lot of nitrates in them in general.

MayC 18 yrs ago

HKCC, thank you for the offer :-)It's certainly something I could consider in the near future.

Hubby's already telling me to hold off seeing a Chinese dr until half a year later so he'll kill me if I tell him I'm flying to Korea for treatment but thank you, at least I know I have that option ;-)

I have been thinking a lot about traditional medicine. I may still have time to try that out first before considering surgery. It will be less invasive fo my body. That is why I will go see a Chinese dr if I'm unsuccessful this month. It can't hurt.... I only need to drink herbal medicine daily, right? And I think it's HK$200+ per visit to the dr every week or every fortnight.

Blessed, no I haven't tried acupuncture. I heard it helps... I've read somewhere on the net that acupuncture helps endometriosis too... except I'm a bit scared of needles so I may end up fainting if I see the needles going through me. Ouch!!! I may try it once, the month before I schedule my surgery..... Then again, if I am able to fall pregnant naturally, maybe I won't need all that.... oh, all these "if's" because I don't know what will happen.

Thanks also for your food tips. I just had a huge pepperoni pizza last night and sausages last week for breakfast. Yikes!!

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

Food tips - yeah - they're just tips.

http://www.americanbaby.com/ab/story.jhtml?page=5&catref=cat1880020&storyid=/templatedata/ab/story/data/9226.xml

this article basically discounts the effects of nitrates and whatnot - but I've read it about from other sources (which I can't seem to find) which talks about how they are not good. I just remembered and was telling my friend who just had her Embryo transfer - and thought I should tell you too. (she is a major sausage and coldcuts lover though.) I love sausages too - and sliced deli meats....sigh...and a thin NY style slice of pepperoni pizza - wow - that just sounds LOVELY.

Havefaith 18 yrs ago

MayC,

With TCM - most of the time I take the TCM twice a day for 5 to 7 days or so and then I go back and Dr. will either change the formula or give me the same stuff for another 5/7 days. I once told my husband that I was seeing a TCM - he was totally against it - he is a Westerner and does not really understand and believe in TCM. I think he will freak out if I was going to see a Korean doc now (I assume I can get an invitation from HKCC if I ask nicely???).

HF

Havefaith

MayC 18 yrs ago

Havefaith, if you and I are still on this board and not pregnant (I hope not) after a year, we will go on that plane together to Korea and we will tell our hubbies that we're just going on a short holiday to unwind.

Now of course I hope that we are pregnant before then.

Havefaith 18 yrs ago

MayC,

I really dont think we will be in that position. May be we will be on the same flight (in the analogy that we used before) rather than to Korea. I think we have to find someone else to help us next year - because HKCC will be back in the US by that time.

HF

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

sure Have faith - COME

You should come before I leave though - which is in three weeks. You can come, we can go check it out. Mostly I think it is a series of herbal tonics after examination. He's not too far from us here - very very very busy.

You know - I'm ASIAN - with a father who is an OB in western medicine. Definitely did not believe in the stuff before moving to HK and Seoul - but I've seen some pretty amazing miracles via TCM and other traditional forms of medicine - and it's changed my mind. My grandfather before he passed was a pretty famous herbalist here in Korea as well - and well - I won't get into the tension between my father and him.

It's harder for Western cultures to accept though - for sure. But you see TONS of westerners in HK beginning to try it.

Havefaith - has your doc told you if you are "too hot" or too cold - the Chinese definition? I don't think Korean docs do that - but I'm curious.

Wheelymate 18 yrs ago

wow hkcc, only 3 weeks more in seoul before you return to US for good?

Havefaith 18 yrs ago

HKCC,

Thanks for the invite (rather rude of me to assume that you would extend the invitation). I would love to meet you in person in the future and to thank you for being so supportive. Thank you.

It wont be in the next three weeks. I leave for Vancouver next Wed and will be gone for 2.5 weeks.

TCM doc told me I am cold. The detailed diagnosis: my kidney yin and yang are weak with blood stagnation (in the reproductive system).

My DH although has gone to see TCM with me for cupping, scrapping and other treatments - he does not believe in it and is against me trying to get pregnant with the help of TCM. Last year, I was on TCM for 2 months before I got pregnant - so I believe in it.

HF

MayC 18 yrs ago

3 weeks?? Wow, that's VERY soon, HKCC. We've been so lucky to have you on this board so we hope you'll continue writing to us even in the US(well, whenever you can) ;-) Good luck with the move. Call me nosy but I'm still dying to find out your baby's gender. I'm getting excited for you.

My husband is a local Chinese - a Hongkonger and he says that he believes in Chinese medicine but it depends on where the source is. Eg. a dr from the Chinese Uni is okay, but not the ones in the wet market.

To tell you the truth, I'm a bit skeptical but my friends swear by it. Plus I'm desperate enough to go for it. HF, your input is reassuring too.

I guess I better go find out whether I'm too hot or too cold.

PS: Havefaith, fingers crossed that it's a flight of the former context than the latter ;-) In some ways, I am optimistic... I don't believe I'll only have one. I'm sure that I will have another one... I just don't know when.

6 more days to go for me...... ;-)

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

I've never been told whether I am too hot or cold - but I'm curious - since I do get pregnant easily - I wonder if I am just right? (sounds like the three bears and their porridge) It'd be an interesting test - to have me go in and have the doctors evaluate me.

My other friend who used TCM to try and conceive - they told her she was too HOT.

As for acupuncture - Oprah Winfrey (dont' know if you know her but i love her) did a segment on it - where she talks about her fear of needles and scary type things (she got her ears pierced on national TV and SCREAMED) and she had acupuncture done on TV as well - and the doctor was really good and she said it wasn't bad at all...so have no fear. But there was a woman on there with chronic backpain, and she went to the back for a treatment - and came back and said she was TOTALLY cured. REally amazing to see!

Havefaith 18 yrs ago

HKCC,

I think you must be just right too -

I love Oprah too. I find her inspirational. I once saw an episode re: battered women and almost cried.

Accupunture is something that I dislike - on any part of my body except my arms - but I go every week because I believe in it.

HF

MayC 18 yrs ago

I found an interesting article about cervical mucus:-

There are some very basic things that you can do to create more fertile cervical mucus. The first is to drink more water and decrease or do away with the caffeine in your diet.

If increased fluids, a reduction in caffeine, and limiting or doing away with your antihistamines doesnt seem to provide an improvement in the fertile quality of your cervical mucus you may want to try Evening Primrose Oil. Evening Primrose Oil has been used for generations to help increase cervical mucus and many women swear that it is the only reason that they were able to get pregnant. The oil has essential fatty acids among other properties that aide the body in producing more high quality cervical mucus. You can take 1500mg to 3000mg daily, but this should only be taken from menstruation until ovulation as it is known to cause uterine contractions which could prevent a fertilized egg from implanting properly.

Along with Evening Primrose Oil you may want to take flax seed oil. This works in much the same way as Evening Primrose as it delivers essential fatty acids. In fact, you can pick up with Flax seed where you leave off with Evening Primrose Oil during your cycle. The two often make a good combination and will help produce all of the cervical mucus you need to aide in conception.

Many women swear that grapefruit juice helps to increase the quality of cervical mucus, though there is not a whole lot of data to back these claims up. However, there are literally thousands of women that swear by grapefruit juice, so its worth a try if you are willing. If nothing else, grapefruit juice will get more fluids in you, which will help product more fertile mucus!

http://www.thelaboroflove.com/articles/category/trying-to-get-pregnant/page/2/

MayC 18 yrs ago

5 more days to test for me..... the days are REALLY going tooooo slowly for my liking ;-)

Starbucks2 18 yrs ago

Good luck MayC. It is a very long and painful wait isn't it

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

nice post on grapefruit juice and the the oils MAYC.

Well - if you are INSANE like me

you start testing too early

and then think you aren't pregnant continually

and then discover you are later...hahah

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

MAYC

have you tested yet?

I know it was 5 more days - but I always jumped the gun...just curious...or did you get your period?

MayC 18 yrs ago

Hi HKCC,

I haven't tested yet and so far no period ;-)

My period is due tomorrow and it's usually on time so I'm still contemplating whether or not I should buy the pregnancy test!!!

Please keep your fingers crossed for me.

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

well - buy the test.

and have it ready for tomorrow if there is no period. But in my last round of pregnancy testing madness (remember I kept testing too early - and then discovered I was pregnant) I did a bit of research and also asked my father - and he did say that based on implantation, your actual pregnancy test day may vary - a few days earlier to a few days later. SO in some cases, you could test TODAY and find out an answer, and in some cases you could test three days after your period was due and STILL get a negative, only to find out you're pregnant a few days later.

SO if you're in the mood to just pee on some money - you could test today...it COULD come out positive - or it could come out negative. Positive would most likely indicate pregnancy (but don't read the stick after 10 minutes) while negative could mean that you will get positive later. So a negative would mean you could test again later -and a positive means that you would probably test later anyways.

MayC 18 yrs ago

HKCC, I thought about what you said and decided to go buy the test. I thought it was much better than driving myself insane with wondering. I bought it during my lunch hour from work and tested.

The result is a negative.... so I'm NOT pregnant and will need to try again next cycle. All I need to do now is wait for my period and hope I won't be in agony.

I'm crushed, yes..... but if it's a negative, it's a negative, I can't change it...at least I'm calmer now instead of jumping up and down wondering. HK$68 for a piece of mind, even a day earlier and with a negative result is worth it.

Sometimes I just wish that someone could tell me WHEN I will fall pregnant so that I know that what I'm doing month after month is worth it......

Oh well....

Hope others will have better news to share.

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

MAY -

you misunderstood -negative - means that you could have tested too early. With this pregnancy - I started testing a day too early - and even it didn't come out positive until FOUR DAYS after my period was due. SO don't lose heart...just don't test for a couple more days and see if period comes -

Starbucks2 18 yrs ago

Agree with HKCC and hoping that you have just tested too early. I have my fingers and toes crossed for you MayC. Keep us posted.

SB2

Havefaith 18 yrs ago

MayC,

Previously someone advised me that the accuaracy of the test depends on the price of the test - if it is clearblue (which I think it is the most expensive one) - you are more likely to get an accurate reading earlier. A -ve one day before your AF does not necessarily mean you are not pregnant. On the other hand, as HKCC pointed out, a +ve test would mean you are pregnant.

I too will keep my fingers crossed for you.

Lots of babydust to you and everyone who is TTC!

HF

Wheelymate 18 yrs ago

mayc,

your period hasn't arrived yet so test again when you're pass it.

for this pregnancy, i tested too early the 1st time and it was negative.

good luck!

MayC 18 yrs ago

Thank you, HKCC, Wheelymate and Havefaith for your support and encouragement. After taking the pregnancy test and I got a negative result, I was crushed but didn't know who to talk to!! I'm too embarrassed to call anyone because I've been talking about having a baby since God knows when and have not been successful..... I really do look forward to our thread and I check it DAILY :-)

I guess I still have a slight hope - 50%. Havefaith, I agree.. I tend to only buy Clearblue for its accuracy.

HKCC and Wheelymate, hopefully I'll be as lucky as the two of you.... hopefully, just hopefully this negative will turn positive in a few days time ;-) There's still a faint chance, right? ;-)

Strangely, with my first, I only took a test 8 days after I missed my period. Back then, I didn't have a clue about cycles and so forth... I just went with "Period on the 15th of every month" and then would get my period between that time or 8 days later. It wasn't until day 8 where I would say to myself, "I think I'm pregnant".

I'm definitely more informed this time around.

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

yes -

that's what too much info does to you. Makes you a little bit crazy. I JUST learned that testing the first day of your missed period isn't always accurate either - because implantation can vary. I was telling my father, " I know EXACTLY when I ovulated, and so 14 days afterwards I should know EXACTLY that I am pregnant?" and he said, "no it depends on your implantation. 14 days is just an estimate, but i can earlier by as much as 3 days and later by as much as 4." I guess I fell into the latter - because it wasn't until I was 18 post ovulation did I get my first conclusive pregnancy positive test. So try not to stress. REst rest rest is the most important.

hkchoichoi 18 yrs ago

MayC -

period?

MayC 18 yrs ago

Hi HKCC,

Thanks so much for asking. We're really so lucky to have you on our board.

No, I haven't got my period yet.

I'm trying to work out whether or not I've miscalculated because I didn't buy an ovulation kit this time around and I forgot to pen in my menstruation date last month. I was calculating it mentally and my OPK (if I had bought it) was supposed to turn positive on the 2nd of July and my period 15 days later, which is the 17th but then I'm not so sure. I was quite busy the day I was supposed to "O" too (our first trip to the beach in our new stepwagon) so I may have delayed it. Could it be today that I'm getting my period? I was cramping yesterday but not today. I'm starting to understand the need to chart my basal body temperature!!

I'm a bit hopeful.... but then if it's false alarm and I'm unsuccessful?

Well.....I guess then that's no different to how it has been month after month.

Sorry, that I'm rambling on....if I can make it till tomorrow...... then maybe, just maybe I could increase my hope by just a little bit.... and then if I get past that too, then maybe I can test again (if I'm lucky to get to that stage). And if I'm not lucky and get it today or tomorrow.....well, I guess if it's not meant to happen, it won't and I'll just have to accept that (again).

The more anxious I am, the more I'll delay my period and the harder it will be for me to cope with such false alarm. But I'm going crazy. I'm wearing a pantyliner (sorry to sound so gross) and am going to the loo a few times every hour JUST so I could check to see...

Starbucks2 18 yrs ago

MayC - that is not gross or crazy. I was exactly the same - see my post above 14 days ago!! Fingers crossed for you. I am still going to bathroom with baited breath as am now constantly worried that I will miscarry (as I expected, I am no better at worrying now that I have had a positive test than I was before). Anyway - I am off to see the specialist tomorrow afternoon for the first check up which is a little early but he is away on holiday so it is either now at 6 weeks or wait until 9 and a half which seems too long to wait. I am not hopeful to hear a heart beat as I think it is a bit too early???

MayC 17 yrs ago

SB2, be careful NOT to scare yourself, okay if it's too early to see a heartbeat. With my first pregnancy, my gynae got me worried. I went to see her when I was 6 weeks pregnant. She got worried coz she could see NO heartbeat but luckily she did a transvaginal ultrasound and found a sac. Apparently I was 5 weeks pregnant and not 6 weeks. Then when my daughter was born, they all said 33 weeks although my calculation said 34 weeks. So anyway, just be prepared that if you see a heartbeat, then great, if you don't, there's nothing to worry about either.

I'm still going to the toilet every hour to check.

Starbucks2 17 yrs ago

Thanks MayC - good advice. I know that I will freak out if they do not see anything but I will try and remain calm. I would have preferred to go at 8 weeks but he is away on holiay and we want to stick with him given that he knows my history with the lost baby last time. I would be unbearable to be around if I had to wait until 9 and a half weeks! I really am hoping that this is the month for you. Do keep us posted.

SB2

Wheelymate 17 yrs ago

SB2,

don't worry, i know someone from my son's swim class who went really early and saw no heartbeat but a week or so later she returned to the doc and the heartbeat was there. yes, 6 weeks is still early but you might see something so don't stress!

mayc, give it a few more days and if nothing happens, test again, best of luck!

we are at 14 weeks now and i am still feeling miserable. honestly, if not for feeling miserable, i can't even tell i'm preggers again. my poor appetite means i haven't put on much weight so no significant body changes except for the expanding chest. my hubby insists i look different but i sometimes have to pinch myself to remind myself that i am pregnant and look forward to my scans to see the baby. can't wait for the baby to start moving!

Starbucks2 17 yrs ago

Thanks Wheelymate - I will try not to stress given that this is not good for me either.

Poor you - why do you feel miserable do you think? Morning sickness? Why no appetite? Is this what happened last time? Always exciting to see the next scan. At what stage did you feel your last baby move?

MayC 17 yrs ago

SB2, I think with my first pregnancy, I felt my baby move quite early... sometime between Week 16-18. Week 16, I felt a flutter and was told it was too early and that it was just my stomach. Then I thought nothing of it. At Week 17, I felt it again and was also told it was too early... then as it got to Week 18, it became slightly more frequent, then escalated from there. So I'm convinced I first felt it at Week 16, regardless of what my family told me.

Wheelymate, you'll be feeling your flutter soon and you're so close to finding out the sex of your baby too. Please write to tell us. I can't wait to find out!!!

HKCC will keep us guessing until the end, hee hee!! How are you, HKCC? Has the morning sickness subsided?

I'm still going to the loo to check. Ah... I'm crazy... been crazy all July.

Wheelymate 17 yrs ago

ah SB2,

i had bad morning sickness with #1 and this current one is no different! poor appetite, vomiting, extreme fatigue...my #1 was a puny 2.75kg at 39 weeks.

mayc, was just about ask people when they felt their baby move and if it did earlier for 2nd round as our bodies become more aware. for my 1st, i felt flutterings at 17 weeks or so. i told my doc at the following visit and he was unconvinced, saying it was too early...hahaha...

looking back, i think at 17 weeks, the baby is too small for you to kick hard for you to feel anything BUT i think the body as a whole is moving about and so you can feel that?

oh, the sex of my baby will be no secret, i can't wait 9 months for that, hahaha!

mayc, don't stress!!

Gabriella 17 yrs ago

MayC - you are not crazy...if you are then I am too as I did the same thing. I almost resorted to using a microscope to check what was going on down there. Once you feel more definitive movement hopefully you'll feel a little calmer.

hkchoichoi 17 yrs ago

being anxious and crazy CANNOT delay your period. physically impossible. it will happen when your luteal period is over - and all the anxious ness will not change that. Anxiety and stress CAN delay ovulation though - so perhaps you delayed it this month and you missed your window...

As for the sex of this baby - won't find out. I think it is better not to. My father has advised me against it - for the sake of my sanity. IF by chance I AM pregnant with another girl - then perhaps I'll worry and go crazy about having another - and my father has told me that I should stop with this one. No more he says - my body is already showing some signs that my time is over and he really is quite serious and adamant about that. SO of course - I'll try and go along with his recommendation.

As for movement - I've been feeling this VERY early with this one. I felt flutterings at 13 weeks - I know what they feel like, and this baby kicked the lights out of me at 16 weeks. I mean - kicked me hard enough and let me know he was there. And my sister in laws idea was that since my uterus is stretched out from other pregnancies, it's just a lot easier for the baby to make a big fuss - so I'm feeling it a lot earlier. I felt those flutters and those whisper movements but these punches are INSANE. Supposedly babies that punch UP (like this one) are boys...another silly wives tale.

May - if you want, you can test with cheaper tests. I spent a bomb on tests - but dont' regret it. I did try to wait every other day - but I am a nut - and I tested too often. So - try on Friday - with a good expensive one...

MayC 17 yrs ago

HKCC, I tested again yesterday and it was a negative. I looked at it under different lights and waited the 10 minutes but there's no denying it was a negative. Still no period today.

I'm worried about two things though. I've been getting a dull ache in my tummy since 2 weeks ago. There was one time I had a sharp pain (I think you replied to my thread on it) and now just dull aches. Had diarrhoea three times during the night too. So I'm a bit worried if things are okay with me.

I haven't been careful with my food either. I've pigged out on half cooked steak in the last 2 weeks. I think I had it at least 3 times already. I was avoiding these foods for months on end but after I was diagnosed with endometriosis, I kind of gave up being too hopeful and my greed got the better of me.

Well I better give my testing a break, and try again tomorrow. That would make it Day 3 of my missed period. With my first pregnancy, I had a faint positive on Day 8 of my missed period. Maybe I produce HGC levels late compared to others... I don't know... but I'm driving myself nuts. I haven't even told hubby yet because I don't want to get his hopes up and it ends up being nothing.

Wheelymate 17 yrs ago

mayc, if you are under the weather, can you take a day off work and rest at home? what with all the stress of TTC and your other thread about your girl having a late bedtime making you exhausted, maybe you need to rest.

i wouldn't stress about food though - how many of us during TTC or even when pregnant (but no aware of it yet) have indulged in all things that big nos nos - alcohol, under cooked steaks, sashimi, etc? so don't worry about this...

give the testing a break. it's day 3. if by monday it doesn't arrive, test again?

Wheelymate 17 yrs ago

re: baby flutterings,

hkcc - 13 weeks? so maybe it's not my imagination then that i swear i am feeling things happening in the past week (now 14)? it's just that it seems so early and i haven't told anyone about the movement, i think they might think i've gone nuts!

it's not a real kick obviously as it's not big enough, but it definitely feels like something moving in my tummy and i'm pretty sure it's not gas!

hkchoichoi 17 yrs ago

you can totally feel it.

I felt the flutterings really early - and even with my first, I felt them, and my dad told me that most first time pregnant people dont' know what they are - but it would be possible to feel it then. and I know what they feel like and so I know that I'm right. You can feel it - it's totally possible.

MayC 17 yrs ago

Hi, I've been reading off the internet and really scaring myself. I've been reading up on my cramps and some say that it's very normal in early pregnancy and some say that it could be ectopic pregnancy... or possibly food poisoning? But I've had this ache for 2 weeks already.

Then the next thing I did was look up the internet about home pregnancy tests and most test will give you a positive on the day you miss your period. I heard that for some women, it's a success and for others it was a miscarriage/late implantation or ectopic.

So now I'm getting EXTREMELY worried.

I wasn't like this with my first but I think after all that I've been through with trying to conceive #2, I just cannot help worrying.

Wheelymate, I think you are right. I probably need a holiday before I drive everybody else insane also.

Starbucks2 17 yrs ago

Fingers crossed that it is good news for you MayC but please don't stress. Would it help to see a doctor to test as I hear that there tests are more sophisticated than the ones we can buy at the pharmacy?

As an update from me (already posted on TTC#1) I went to the specialist today (same one as last time) and was so so nervous. He was excited for me which was a good start. Had the ultrasound while I lay there tense as and he said he could see the pregnancy sack and a very small heart beat so I was very pleased for 5 and a half weeks along (had not expected to see a heart beat). Hoping that the little mite stays in there safe and sound.

SB2

Wheelymate 17 yrs ago

SB2,

great to hear you saw the heartbeat, always a good sign!!

hang in there!

mayc...you need a holiday or a break from things! you poor thing, you are not driving anyone mad (at least not me, hehe) but you definitely sound very tense! stop reading all the extra info on the net, my husband gets very crossed everytime i do that and scare myself silly with whatever info i come across. esp. for my 1st pregnancy, he and my doc had to tell me i was having info overload and to stop reading too much into everything. easy to tell someone to stop reading i know but you must!

hkchoichoi 17 yrs ago

SB2 - heartbeat already yeah! Pretty amazing when you do see it, right? Take it easy, rest and think good thoughts.

MayC - ALL THREE of my pregnancies I had cramping in my nether regions and was convinced ALL THREE times I was having an ectopic. but each time, it was not so. cramping, twinges, bitty pains here and there are normal.

the two week ache - if it's continual and steady this is something that DOES need to be discussed. I wrote to you about the food poisoning thing, but it shouldn't go on this long - so please go see a Dr. and explain your symptoms.

squiggles 17 yrs ago

SB2,

Congrats on your good news. Let's hope the little one stays in. Take care of yourself. Keep us updated on your news.

MayC,

I hope you have some good news in the next day or so, but I do agree with the others that you defo sound like you need a holiday! Or at least a very serious chill pill!

When my husband and I were trying for no 2 it got a bit obsessive, but we also both had to take a step back and remember that we already had a precious little one and the last thing we wanted was to neglect him and his development for the sake of our desire to have no2. Basically, we kept saying that one was enough and any more was a bonus...

I know it's hard for you to relax, especially these last few days or so, but your body and mind sounds like it needs it!!

MayC 17 yrs ago

Hi all,

I'm at work to tie up some loose ends but will be heading home soon - sick leave.

But I just wanted to write to let you girls know that it wasn't meant to be.

Last night, while taking my daughter to Mannings, I felt something leak and knew instantly that my period had arrived (albeit 2 days late).

I did say that if it's going to arrive, better early than late so that I don't get my hopes up.

Surprisingly I took it really well.

It was too good to be true... but at least I had a day or two pretending to be pregnant eventhough I wasn't. Oh well.....back to the drawing board....

Thank you though, for all your support. You don't know how much you girls have helped in the past year..

Wheelymate 17 yrs ago

mayc,

i'm so sorry to hear.

you always have next month. i know you are worried about the endo but it's not a death sentence. if you needed fertility treatment asap, i'm sure your doc would have ordered it already. so give it some more time for things to happen naturally as he advised before?

chin up, you have your girl to think of, i'm sure she'll be worried to see mummy looking so sad!

rest well this weekend!

squiggles 17 yrs ago

mayc,

sorry to hear about this month. good luck next month. and try to rest a bit!

this heat is killing me at the moment - coupled with jet lag i'm just exhausted! i can't believe hk summers are good for anyone!!

bbvv 17 yrs ago

My bubs will be one next week and we are planning for #2 too. It took me 2 years for with #1 being conceived with IUI on 5th attempt (I am in the unexplained category) - just want to know what's the odds that it will take this long for #2. Has anyone on treatment for #1 managed to conceive naturally 2nd time round?

blessed 17 yrs ago

Hi there,

I just want a bit of advice from those who've experienced having a first child...

I'm seeing a private OB and just did the NT scan and blood test with him this week. The risk factor came back low so am pleased about that. At the same time, I've registered at Tsan Yuk to use their prenatal classes etc. and they've asked me to go in for the NT scan and test next week, 7days after the one I just had. I told my OB about the Tsan Yuk appt and he was against me doing the scan and blood test twice in case there were discrepancies and therefore unnecessary worry on my part. What do you think? Would you go for the Tsan Yuk test? I'm actually not planning to deliver at QM (unless DH goes bankrupt in the meantime) so should I just cancel the scan (mind you, the scan wasn't exactly comfy either!

Thanks for any input!!

hkchoichoi 17 yrs ago

INTERESTING dilemma.

I'm not sure what the right answer here is - if there IS a discrepancy, then wouldn't that indicate that possibly there was an error in one of the tests? As it is, the test is only about 80% accurate, although Tsan Yuk, in conjunction with HKU, when I was going through them, had numbers closer to the 90%ile range. I just go the results of my nuchal and blood test and all were clean, but the doctor did remind me AGAIN that the tests were only about 80% conclusive.

I don't think there is anything wrong with more information - most LIKELY since you got a clean one from your current doc, you'll probably get another clean one. Why was it uncomfortable? Wasn't it just a traditional ultrasound?

blessed 17 yrs ago

HKCC,

Thanks for your reply, as helpful as ever! Hmmm, I'll have a good think about it on the weekend. The scan was the usual ultrasound but because my OB was trying to get the right position/angle or whatever, he was pressing down pretty hard for a while and that was a bit uncomfortable. It wasn't the usual smooth rolling-over-the-belly action.

How are you doing yourself? Is it better second time around?

Blessed

Starbucks2 17 yrs ago

Hi all

How are the pregnant ladies doing? Any update on the sex of babies??

I am doing ok - 7.5 weeks now. Starting to feel a little queasy which is not great. Am very much missing my deli meats and cheeses (buying a sandwich at lunch has become very difficult). Honestly, I sometimes feel that the rules on what you can and can't eat were made up by a man! My husband has turned into the food police ("are you sure that that yoghurt is pasterised?", "you can't have fresh juices", "this cheese doesn't say that it is pasturised so best to avoid")!!

Next scan in 2 weeks time. Hope all progressing ok in there. SO hard to know what is going on.

Hope everyone else is doing well.

SB2

Wheelymate 17 yrs ago

we have a scan and blood test (doc does 2nd tri testing instead of 1st) next Monday, i'll be 16.5 weeks by then.

the morning sickness is easing off, i can actually swallow my prenatal pills but not the calcium ones (figured it's ok since i'm drinking milk again). but still very, very tired...when my kid naps in the afternoon, i need to as well and i go to bed quite early.

not sure if the doc will be able to see the sex of the baby.

squiggles 17 yrs ago

hiya,

am in wk 30 now. all going ok although i am really starting to feel tired during the day now and am hating having to go to the loo so often!

gone off lumps of meat (like steak) and because it's so hot here in hk, am finding it difficult to eat too much. consequently have put on far less weight this time round.

sort of can't wait for this to be over as i hate being pregnant, but then, i know that's when the hard work starts! mind you, with my little one not sleeping through still (recent phenomenom) and me having to get up once or twice in the middle of the night at the moment albeit for a short period is good practice!!

take care everyone!

Starbucks2 17 yrs ago

Wheelymate and Squiggles - good to hear from you both with an update.

WM - pleased that you are now able to take your calcium from foods without the need for the pills. The OJ with calcium is also supposed to be good. Best of luck with the scan and blood test on Monday.

SQ - poor you being extra tired with your little one not sleeping through. Maybe he/she can sense that they are getting a new sibling soon. Make sure you get lots of rest and eat what you can in the heat. Not long now - extra exciting times!

hkchoichoi 17 yrs ago

Hi Ladies -

20 week scan - all is normal - but ultrasound technician commented that my baby is SUPER ACTIVE...and he/she is - I constantly feel massive movement ALL DAY LONG. Seems the baby is never calm - Koreans say that that characteristic will exist later in life - in other words, I have an active baby. YIKES!

Ultrasound technician knows the gender of my baby although we don't. I was REALLY Tempted to ask for a hint (they will tell you that it is really handsome or beautiful) but in to honor my husband did not. But would love to know.

I am normal on food fronts, eating well (perhaps too much?) and just super tired. Melasma (the mask of pregnancy) has gotten particularly bad this time - I'm going to need a major facial blast all over in order for me to go back to semi normal after all of this is done.

Squiggles - between my first and my second, at around week 32, my oldest started not sleeping through the night. It was horrific! It coincided with the climbing out of the crib, and then deciding it'd be fun to wake up every 3 hours - sometimes 2. But I ferberized - and it was the best thing I ever did. (I also slept in front of her door on a hard hard floor in order to help her feel my presence nearby - this while 32 weeks pregnant.) But within a week of Ferberizing, I was doing much much better. Totally worth it if you do it.

Starbucks2 17 yrs ago

Congrats HKCC on a successful 20 week scan. I have my fingers crossed for you that it is a boy this time and think you are so good not to ask a sneaky question as to the sex if hubby wasn't there for the scan! Take care of yourself.

SB2

Wheelymate 17 yrs ago

hkcc,

so much restraint on the gender front...i swear i would have asked the technician, hahaha!!

i am so super tired....and i know i sound like the first person ever to have a second child but having a toddler to run after really wears me out. we never used to watch much tv but since the pregnancy, we're parked in front of it every afternoon watching hi-5 dvds, it's just tooo hot to move. i still try to take him out to his weekly playgroup but other than that, we stay in (thank goodness we have the part-time nanny who takes him out every morning). i feel that this pregnancy makes me feel guilty about my toddler. we used to do so much together but i'm pretty useless these days. and suddenly he seems so much younger, he's only almost 17 months!!

squiggles 17 yrs ago

hkcc,

thanks for the advice on feberizing but i cannot do that with my little one - this is why....

not sure if you know but he has severe reflux which has meant that he throws up for any reason. if he has a cough he will throw up, if he eats too much he will throw up, and if he gets worked up, he also throws up..

like yours, it all started one night when we put him down for the night. before, we could just leave him in his cot and he would happily play for up to an hour on his own before falling asleep. however this night he must have not felt very well because he started crying which was unusual. when i picked him he just threw up everywhere, and i mean everywhere, and everything!!

after cleaning up, changing clothes, sheets etc we tried to put him back in and he screamed and screamed. so we left him....he got out of his grobag and climbed out of the cot....so that was it, we couldn't have the cot anymore..but his screaming on going to bed and throwing up continued for the next five nights, much to ours, and his distress!

also since then, we've moved house, gone to uk for a holiday, given him jetlag, he's had a cough, and now finally back in hk! so it really wouldn't have been fair to let him cry to sleep after all that upheaval, especially as he would just throw up when he did so....

but it is better now - he used to wake up 3 times a night crying (between 20mins and 1 hr each time to settle him), and now it's once or maybe none but generally it's because he's kicked his duvet off or something like that. he's getting used to his room and his bed, and when he does wake up in the middle of the night it's only for about 5mins now. so that's progress.

the hard thing is to sit with him going to bed but it's not a bad thing - he's not crying anymore and it's good bonding time.

so yes, i am tired, but i do think it's a phase he's going through and he is slowly dealing with it. i cannot bear him crying and throwing up - it upsets him almost as much as it upsets me!

hkchoichoi 17 yrs ago

ahhh - understand your point about the throwing up and stuff -that would be a pain to do if you had to clean up after every single crying bout.

Have you tried the moving away slowly bit by bit? I used that also - in the early stages of my daughter's non sleep time. It worked. I started on a chair, and then further away and then outside the door, and then outside the door slowly closing the door and then just leave the door ajar and then going - and going back and checking in occasionally. No tears, gradual reduction and it was fine. But it's hard -

And WM - believe you me girl, I feel your pain. I am COMPLETELY useless I feel these days. I'm a zombie - I constantly feel like I'm going blind in one eye because I'm so tired...I mean - just SOOO TIREd... and I sleep like crap because I'm snoring, and I'm snoring because of the rhinitis and the rhinitis doesn't seem to want to go away and it's just one problem after another...UGH...but you'll be giving your little one a new brother and sister - and these days, my two girls play together so well - and they have so much fun together, I feel blessed and lucky to have the two of them.

but soon - before I know it - i'll have 3 kids, 3 and under, and I'll have no helper and so I'll be doing it alone. DOUBLE ARGGH!!! THat is just TOO CRAZY A THOUGHT!

Wheelymate 17 yrs ago

hkcc, i sleep badly too because my bladder is just useless - i have to stop drinking anything after 7/8pm or else i'm up a few times peeing...and it's not just a trickle or anything, it's like major i have not peed in a day type, amazing!

by the way, are you back in US already?

squiggles, you poor thing, and your boy too! he's been through alot, maybe you need to let him settle down first. my son has not been too well these 2 weeks and he sometimes wakes up at night crying due to discomfort. thankfully his floor is carpeted so what i do is lie down next to his cot and put my hand on him until he falls asleep. hopefully this is just a phase that your boy is undergoing!

squiggles 17 yrs ago

hkcc - 3 kids and under - no wonder you're totally exhausted! and i still can't believe you haven't found out what sex you're having - hope it's a boy!

i think i'm going to stop at this one - think i'm getting too old to have another one anyway, and it would be nice to get some of my life back! hope you both get some of your energy back. and as for massive movement by the baby - i had that with my first, and he really DOES NOT stop - EVER! and this second one is kicking far worse so i'm expecting a similar lively one. you know when you read the books that say if you don't feel the baby moving for a certain time then drink something sweet....well, that was NEVER an issue with me!

with the sleep thing, i may try the moving away thing a little later, but as he can get out of his bed if i move away, he just get out of bed. if i just lie next to him on the floor then he settles eventually but doesn't try to get out. he's only 20 months so reasoning with him isn't the easiest just yet. but i'm sure we'll get through it.

WM - i also rest my hand on my LO to make him feel better but try not to do it too often as he needs to fall asleep on his own. hope your LO is feeling better - mine's just getting ove a cough which doesn't help the vomiting! luckily i do have a helper because when he throws up it's a 2 person job because he's so upset about it that he doesn't want to be left alone!

off to brave another hot day...

MayC 17 yrs ago

Morning, ladies. It is so good to hear from all of you. It seems like only yesterday when you girls announced your pregnancies and now HKCC is already past Week 20!!! Time really flies.

HKCC, I'm still checking to see whether or not you'll cave in and announce the sex of your baby ;-) With our first, we didn't want to find out either. That was because hubby wanted a boy and I wanted a girl.

Well with your super active baby and all, hopefully it's a sign that this one's a boy. That would be so good for you.

Squiggles, my daughter just threw up this morning too. Fortunately for me, she only does it when she's not feeling well. We've resorted to putting a bucket right beside her bed and will shove it under her whenever she starts coughing. Sometimes I think the "bucket" gives her the idea of vomitting and she sometimes tries to force herself to vomit.

WM, I only have one at the moment and sometimes when I get too tired from work, I too put her in front of the tv. It's getting better for me now that she's older though because I can explain the dangers of certain items and I know she won't touch them, plus she can concentrate more now. Well, I can leave her for 5-10 minutes while I go to the next room. I check on her of course, but it's definitely easier now. Puzzles are good too... they'll take time doing those!!!

As for me, my period was late 3 days last cycle (came on the 20th of July instead of the 17th) so I'm a bit unsure when I ovulate. We've started trying last night and will do every alternate day for a week. Hopefully this is enough to cover WHEN I'm supposed to ovulate.

I'm starting to feel REALLY discouraged. We're still committed to it - hubby is now co-operating... but each month it gets harder and harder to hold on to the hope. I keep asking hubby to reassure me that we will have a second baby. I know it's a silly thing to ask but I'm at the stage where I seem to need reassurances.

Last month, the night before I had my period, I went out to buy myself a maternity top from Bossini, it was on sale and I thought last month was "IT".... I was cleaning my closet last night and when I saw the top, I couldn't help feeling soooooo sad. I have another 4 more months of this natural trying and if it doesn't work, I will have to go for surgery.

My hubby mentioned the Chinese Bak Fung Yuen from Eu Yan Sang that's meant to be good for women. I went to take a look but the instructions said, "Not suitable for pregnancy". So what if you fall pregnant in a cycle, don't know it and still taking the pills? I'm still contemplating whether or not to buy them...

I really hope that soon it'll be my turn to announce my pregnancy.....

squiggles 17 yrs ago

MayC,

I really hope you get get pregnant soon - you sound so down. Luckily for you, you do have age on your side, a lovely daughter and a great hubby by the sounds of it.

Don't give up hope and I hope your daughter feels better soon! (and yes, we have plastic bins which double up as sick buckets in my LO's room too!)

Wheelymate 17 yrs ago

mayc,

don't be discouraged and think positive. you still have a few more months of trying naturally before you decide on the surgery route, anything can happen then!

MayC 17 yrs ago

Thanks, Wheelymate and Squiggles. We haven't heard from HKCC in a while. HKCC, you must be busy with the move to the US. Take it easy, okay? Must be hard moving with two kids and being pregnant at the same time.

You know how I said my cycle timing was ruined due to my period coming late last month? If I count 15 days from my last period, I really shouldn't be ovulating before the 4th of August. However, yesterday I noticed some stringy cervical mucus. Hubby was supposed to be away in China for 3 nights. I have now bargained it down to 2 nights because I'm terrified of missing my window of opportunity this month. Just like hubby to be away when I need him here :-(

I know I should be enjoying my BDing sessions and I shouldn't be so hard on hubby, but considering the fact that I have to go for surgery... any efforts to prevent that from happening would be good.

I think the book by Toni Weschler recommended by HKCC is VERY GOOD. I used to think that perhaps my endo caused painful intercourse but now I know that during certain times in my cycle, when my cervix is low, intercourse is bound to hurt. When it's high up, intercouse is great. I've observed it with this cycle. That book has become my TTC bible.

Another strange thing is, my colleague has just returned from Korea and she bought me some Red Ginseng chocolates!! What a co-incidence!!! More Ginseng to feed hubby. Haha ;-)

squiggles 17 yrs ago

mayc,

just one thing - i recently found out that my obgyn's real specialty is surgery and womens' problems like endometriosis. he does lectures around asia on the subject and has done some pioneering surgery in that field. he said that obstetrics is his bread and butter but surgery and gyny is his real passion.

maybe it's worth getting an opinion from him. he is an excellent doctor with a superb manner - he speaks excellent english (having practised in UK for a number of years), and of course cantonese and mandarin. his name is Dr Eric Lee and he works out the Central Medical Practice, 15/Fl, Prince's Building.

not sure if he could help but it might be worth checking him out if you feel that you need to.

hkchoichoi 17 yrs ago

Hi ladies - esp. MayC -

just trying to tie up things here before we head off to the US. There are a bunch of crazy logistic that need to be solved before I can get out of here - and solving the logistic is proving to be harder than just the basics of moving itself. But otherwise, things are relatively smooth - pretty good and nothing much else the matter.

I am dying to know gender - and I would find out if I knew I could keep a secret - but hubby knows I'm a horrific liar - and he's able to ask point blank - IF I KNOW - and then bam - I cave in and it's all over. No chance of salvation...so it's no point.

Ginseng with chocolate - that's like a western caffeine with an eastern stamina booster - that's pretty much the best of both worlds...

I'm the really glad the Toni Weschler book has proven to be so helpful...I think for people without endo, there are times when intercourse just is more exciting and more wanted and that generally coincides with ovulation as well...I know monthly I am more "in the mood" than other times...

Good luck MayC - don't worry too much and try and take it one day at a time...

MayC 17 yrs ago

squiggles, thank you for your dr's contact details. When I get closer to my surgery, I will probably see a few more drs to decide who to go to. I was thinking Dr Ho but I'm sure he charges a whole lot more than anyone else.

HKCC, I know moving can be such a headache but you must be so excited as a new life awaits you in America.

I've caught my daughter's flu so I'm a bit out of it today....

Hubby came home early today (for lunch) so we managed a quick baby dance. My cervical mucus is still stringy today so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I haven't ovulated yet.

This whole TTC thing has left me REALLY confused. I know that part of me has given up hope because of my diagnosis but part of me still do not believe that I have this condition. My mood swings look a bit like my BBT chart - ups and downs... When it goes up (post ovulation), I'm hopeful, thinking that I have a chance. And when the trend goes down signalling AF, my mood suddenly drops coz that's when I think all is over and I get frightened thinking how unfair life is.

I've decided to take it easy for the next few days. I've reasoned that women who have undergone assisted treatments are told to rest a few days so I'm thinking why not rest with natural intercourse too? May help...

I agree, I should tell myself "one day at a time"..... I could keep calm a few months ago but now I think I've lost it completely.

Wheelymate 17 yrs ago

mayc,

hope you'll feel better soon. my son has also passed me some lovely germs so currently dosing myself with hot honey and lemon. :)

quickies are good, so spontaneous so you never know...fingers crossed for you!!

MayC 17 yrs ago

Hi girls, I've just officially completed my TTC exam 2 day ago. I've been charting my temperature and it's been high the last 2 days so I must have ovulated on between Saturday morning to Sunday morning. Thankfully, hubby was home so I think, fingers crossed, we've covered our base. Now it's the dreaded 2 week wait for my exam results. A normal academic exam is easier, I would say... at least if you get 51%, it is still a pass. With TTC, you either pass or fail and even if you work REALLY hard at it, it doesn't mean it'll work. Ah....

HKCC, charting is great. I don't know what I never thought about it before. Taking it seemed troublesome before but then it really helps reveal whether or not I'm ovulating and DOES tell me when I've ovulated. It makes me proud to know so much about my body. It ties in with my cervical mucus and my ovulation predictor kit too. My OPK turns positive on day 15, which is the same day my temperature dipped, and also the last day of eggwhite cervical mucus. Maybe in future, I won't need protection if I don't want to be pregnant, I could just go by the days I'm fertile or not fertile.

Please keep your fingers crossed for me. I'm sure I'll be keeping in touch because the next 2 weeks will be dreadful for me!!!

Take care all.... Wheelymate, when do you find out the sex of your baby? ;-)

Squiggles, is your boy better now?

squiggles 17 yrs ago

MayC,

fingers crossed for you over the next two weeks! i really hope that you're successful this time round. well done on the charting stuff - i was useless at it - i kept on forgetting and when i did remember, it was never at the same time every day!

as for my boy, he's not really better. looking back, he's been throwing up much more over the last few months and has got to a point where he is refusing to eat anything except milk, bread and yoghurt. took him to the doc on saturday and he confirmed my suspicion that the reflux is not getting better, but getting worse. next step is the hospital tomorrow morning for a barium meal xray to see just how bad it is. hopefully the reflux is the cause of all this vomiting and non eating and when we find out exactly how severe or not it is then we can treat it with the right drugs if needed. needless to say, i spent all weekend worried and cuddling my little boy!

Wheelymate 17 yrs ago

mayc,

best of luck for this month!

looks like we are having another boy! gosh, my hands will be full with 2 little cheeky monkeys.

squiggles, your poor child (and you too)! i hope his condition can be treated effectively soon!

MayC 17 yrs ago

squiggles, a mummy's biggest nightmare is when her children fall ill. My little girl and I both have a cold and in the last few days, I've been waking up several times during the night just to make sure that she doesn't have a fever. Imagine having to do that and taking my BBT temperature!!! Good luck and I hope that the dr will be able to help your little cutie once and for all.

Wheelymate, congrats. Another boy's great for your firstborn. They'll be able to play well together.

Will keep you girls posted... but you know, what the BBT tells me is that I've timed intercourse correctly since January.. and nothing.. okay I'll stop being so negative. Forget I said that ;-)

But it's great that you girls are all pregnant with #2. I WILL have to join in the club soon.

Havefaith 17 yrs ago

MayC,

I have been taking my BBT for about 1.5 years now. I always thought I knew exactly when I ovluate (from the dip to the rise in temp). However, last month I was doing IUI (without meds) and I had a blood test on the day that I thought I was ovulating (according to my BBT) but it was wrong - I did not ovulate until 2 days later (a second blood test confirmed it).

Lots of babydust to you!

hkchoichoi 17 yrs ago

Hi May C -

I would just say take it easy. It sounds as if you are getting TOO WORKED UP over the TTC thing. Try and consider the next few months of charting and TTCing as an honest to goodness get to know my own body type of period. NOt to get pregnant - but just to get familiar. Attitude is just as important as physical readiness. I think your worries over endo are making you more frantic because you already have it in your head that it's more difficult to get pregnant - which although that may be the case, doesn't have to be your mindset at this point. For now, just try and get to know your own body, really time your ovulation, marvel at the wondrous mechanics and mechanisms of a woman's body as it prepares to become pregnant - it's pretty amazing (even for someone who gets pregnant easily) and a miracle that somehow our bodies know. I think approaching from a more spiritual well being standpoint - instead of constantly focusing on what your shortcomings are, will be a far better mindset for you during your time.

As for your daughter with fever - I dont' think we should consider fevers evil. There are times that it can make it more difficult for our child to sleep well, but a fever is another one of our body's amazing miracles. IF your daughter has one, it's her body's way of fighting whatever virus she has. Sometimes, it's better to let a fever run it's course - I've found that many times, if I let my daughter's keep their fever (without trying to constantly bring it down with tylenol) they recover faster. I do worry about fluids, giving them enough (lots of OJ) and making sure that they are not unduly uncomfortable. IF your daughter is sleeping, no need to wake her - and let her rest, through a fever.

Good luck May - get yourself refreshed and rejuvenated and positive...Even my own cynical dad says so much of it has to do with a woman's own spiritual mindset.

spicegal 17 yrs ago

Well ladies, I've not posted on this thread in quite a while but been checking v regularly as I was following lots of the tips for getting in tune with my cycle pre TTC.

So, congrats to all the pg ladies, and I'm pleased to say all the tips worked for me too and I've just passed the 12 week mark (didn't want to say on here before now as I have a good friend who posts here and wanted to tell her rather than have her read it here!!).

To all those still trying to TTC #2, or #1 good luck. And to MayC I've conceived with ovarian cycts again - 12 week scan confirmed their presence again - so there's hope! They've not caused me half as much trouble this time around though as in my last pg.

Wheelymate congrats on boy #2! And HKCC good luck with the move. Hope everyone else is well too.

Spicegal

Wheelymate 17 yrs ago

aw spicegal,

CONGRATS! good to see another regular on board with #2.

see mayc, not sure how ovarian cysts compares to endo but things can still happen so don't lose the faith!

as for my #2's gender, looks like it will be a boy but my aunt (and the rest of the family who are all rooting for a girl this time) say there's still a chance as the scan might not too 100% accurate! i'm sure we'll know better when we do the detailed scan after 20 weeks.

MayC 17 yrs ago

Spicegal, congrats! That's excellent news.

Thank you for your reassurance about the ovarian cyst. In fact, with my first pregnancy, I had 3 ovarian cysts!! This time I only have the one (but not pregnant yet).

Endo is something that I've probably had all my life, since I was a teenager. My periods have always been excruciating. With baby no. 1, I could conceive with no problems even with ovarian cysts and possibly endo.

With baby no #2, I'm having problems... but HKCC is right, I'm getting a bit too worked up over this TTC thing. It may or may not be a problem but rather than see it like it's the "end of the world", I should just try to be more positive and know that help is available should I need it but it's still too early now to think that I'm doomed.

I am more positive now that I'm in the 2 week wait. I only really sink to the lowest when my period comes ;-)

squiggles 17 yrs ago

congrats spicegal! but still please take it easy.

i can't believe i've only got just under 7 weeks to go - it's all going so quickly! this week hasn't helped in that i had to take my little man for tests on his reflux and it's now been confirmed that at 21months he still has moderate to severe reflux. the good news is that it's not a structural defect so no op is necessary, just stronger drugs! i just hope he gets some relief from it all and eats comfortably again!

mayC, how is your little girl? is she better now?

MayC 17 yrs ago

Hello pregnant mummies. How are you girls doing? I'm just dropping in to say hello ;-)

Wheelymate, funny you should mention that the ultrasound has a chance of being wrong. That's VERY true. Boy, don't I have a story to share. With my first, I did an Oscar Testing at 11+ weeks. Now some say that you could tell the gender of the baby as early as the 12th week, so I took my chances and asked anyway (for fun of it, and not expecting much). The sonographer said, "I think it's a girl. I'm 70% sure". I thought, "Wow, can you really tell soooo early?". Hubby was disappointed because he wanted a boy, so to avoid that, I decided that we would NOT find out the sex at Week 20, that we would wait until our baby was born. True enough, it was a girl. I was delighted of course, a baby to dress up to be a mini-me. Hubby was sad at first but it didn't take him long to warm up to her. She was such a cutie!

Squiggles, how are you? You haven't got long to go.. you must be excited. Has your son's reflux improved since the dr's visit?

HKCC, when's the official move to the US? Must be such an exciting time for you. I haven't been to the US - would love to go one day. It'll be like stepping into a scene from an American movie ;-) Think I've been watching too many American movies!!!

I'm expecting my period in 5 days time. Please keep your fingers crossed for me, girls!! ;-)

Although my period was two days late, I still ovulated on Day 15 according to my temperature chart. Strange, huh? But it means I'm still on a 30 day cycle ;-) Please wish me luck... I have until December to try naturally before surgery.

I'm still contemplating whether to stick to my normal gynae at the Union (although she told me she's no longer delivering babies) or should I go with a new dr - a director of the reproductive technology there. I don't want to offend my gynae but she won't be delivering my baby anyway. It's like she'll be doing my surgery but after that will pass my case to someone else. I might as well get that someone to do my surgery + my delivery. I saw on the Union Hospital webpage that some of the other drs are directors so..... Just trying to find a good dr for my endo surgery.... Dr Phillip Ho is great but sooo expensive.

balzac 17 yrs ago

Hi MayC,

I've just read this whole thread because of you.I have 'unconfirmed' endo for several years now. I have been experiencing painful intercourse (twisting, deep pain) for years (at some 'angles', but yes, some times during the cycle it feels better because of the position of the cervix)

I sincerely hope you will get pregnant pretty soon.

*sprinkles baby dust on MayC!*

squiggles 17 yrs ago

MayC,

keeping my fingers and toes crossed for you! as for doctors, not sure how much Dr Phillip Ho is, but my doctor (who knows a lot about endo) is about 550 for a consult and then abviously there's the scan and urine test costs on top of that. for me, every visit is abouy $800, which is fairly expensive too i suppose.

it's now just under 6 wks - am excited but also quite worried about how this will all affect my boy. at the moment he's very clingy and very happy to pat my tummy and say 'baby', but i'm sure it's a different matter once he can see the baby!

as for his reflux, it seems to be improving - his appetite is definitely getting better and he can now drink up to 6-7ozs milk in one go without stopping - before he could only drink 4 or so before having to stop for a while. the hard thing now is to get him back on the good healthy foods which he used to eat but now probably associates with giving him tummy ache!

but on the whole, all is looking a bit more relaxed.

rest easy...

Wheelymate 17 yrs ago

hi ladies....

just got back from my langkawi trip. it was fab and wished i was back there already! the only setback of sorts was that my toddler suddenly developed some sort of separation anxiety during the trip - starts to panic if one of us swims away and was hysterical on our final night that i had to send the babysitter away and my husband had to dine alone.

anyway, mayC....my fingers and toes crossed for you. squiggles, only a few more weeks, time really flies right? i can't believe i'm already 18 weeks pregnant.

hope everyone is keeping well!

hkchoichoi 17 yrs ago

hi all!

just had another check up yesterday with doctor - all is fine and good. 22 weeks - and all seems clear before the move. I went in a not so great mood - as hubby and I were fighting (about stupid stuff - too much stress with the move) and my doctor said that a happy mommy makes a happy baby and to avoid as much stress as possible. (didn't help that blood pressure was also elevated...)

but otherwise all is smooth - I'll be out of commission for a while as I sort out this bit and that bit - but I hope when I come back, Squiggles will have had her baby, May C is pregnant and Wheelymate is still progressing well.

hugs and kisses to all!

788 17 yrs ago

Goodluck and loads of Best Wishes for your move and everything, hkcc. It is so wonderful to have you as a support- you are a wealth of information and hope. Hope to get you back on the board sooner than later!

spicegal 17 yrs ago

Thanks for the congratulations ladies. Can't believe some on here are nearing the end... Good luck Squiggles, it seems a LONG way away for me now - and we are also moving countries so I have to get through that too! Plus finding new docs, hospitals etc in a country I've never even visited! All part of the adventure...

Hope to hear some more happy news on here soon too - MayC fingers x-ed!

MayC 17 yrs ago

Balzac, thank you for your kind words and for reading this thread. I am touched.

The problem with endo is that the only way to diagnose it properly is through a laporascopic surgery. No one with suspected endo will want to do this surgery because it's only "suspected". As a result, many cases of endo are not treated and many women suffer. The only reason why I'm going for it is because I'm desperate to fall pregnant, otherwise I doubt I would consider it. I've read about women who suspected they had it, insisted on surgery and the surgery confirmed that they were right. However on a simpler level, to help relief you of the symptoms, you could try birth control pills or traditional chinese medicine (meaning herbs + acupuncture). Many women swear by it and there have been researches that support TCM. I'm skeptical but will give it a go this month if I fail to get pregnant....my local Chinese hubby tells me that he believes in Chinese meds if it's prescribed by a doctor from the Chinese Uni or equivalent, not ones that practise from the wet markets or the ones in shops. Try cutting down on your sugar intake too. That's meant to help with endo.

With regards to painful intercourse, it's a horrible feeling to have especially when the "act" is meant to be enjoyable. I've been there, done that. I got my urine sent to the lab to rule out any bacterial infection and lo and behold, they found ecoli bacteria (caused by the humidity here in HK). Sorry to sound so gross but you could go get it checked just in case. Takes 3 days for results. I got treated with antibiotics and my painful intercourse was cured 80%. The other cure for me was to observe the positionings of my cervix so I now know when sex will be comfortable and when it is not. I'm not 100% cured and I bet it's due to endo but at least sex isn't as bad as it was - I suffered for 2 years.

Squiggles, thank you so much for recommending your dr. I will most certainly check out more drs to find one that I'm comfortable with. 6-7ozs of milk for your son is excellent. My dr is almost 3 and she's only just started drinking 8oz about a month ago. Prior to that it had always been 4oz. Remind me squiggles, are you having a boy or girl? Have you picked a name yet?

Wheelymate, I agree that Langkawi is just wonderful. Wait till your son meets his baby brother, I'm sure with your next planned trip, he will not feel so lonely. That's the beauty of having more than one..... (okay I'm feeling sorry for myself again).

HKCC, thank you. Fingers crossed, maybe, just maybe I'll have good news to announce the next time you're back on this board. Good luck with the move! Hubby and I argued too the last time we moved house. We both had such different ideas on how we wanted things moved. He wanted to quickly pack everything, then shoved all boxes in our new place, whereas I wanted to do things slowly so I could plan what I wanted to put in each room.

788, hope all is well with you :-)

lovechild 17 yrs ago

Dear HKCC,

Wishing you the very best on your move,you will be in good hands under the watchfull eye of your Dad and this time around your DH will not have to be given instructions via the phone when you are in labour!

I echo everyones thoughts here and want to say that you are and have been such a active and caring help to a lot of us.We would hope with #3 you still have some time left in the day to continue your valuable input to this board.

Sending you lots of love and best wishes !!!

LC

Havefaith 17 yrs ago

Dear HKCC,

Good luck with your move! Hope all goes well - Last time I moved I did it by myself with the help of really good movers and a good helper. DH stayed out of it.

I would also like to thank you for your valuable advice - and always being there for us. Thank you.

Take care + look forward to "chatting" again when you are back on line.

HF

hkchoichoi 17 yrs ago

Hi all ladies -

All your well wishes were sooo soothing and calming after a crazy crazy crazy crazy day. I need some peace and quiet for SURE.

packers came and went - computer is left standing and DH is out doing his business while I finish up and wrap up small lose ends. NOT FUN but doing it regardless.i'm tired, getting ready to shower and call it quits while running a few more loads of laundry. (the idea of taking dirty clothes that will be sitting in a bag for 4 weeks does not appeal at ALL.

I hope all is well with you guys. i'm thinking lots of get pregnant pregnancy thoughts - and I hope that all those wishes are fulfiled. i'll be in touch sooner than later!

MayC 17 yrs ago

Just a quick update from me.... I've failed this month also.

But looking on the bright side, I now know I don't have trouble with ovulation. I've started taking my temperature and I can see a dip and my 30 day pattern is right on time. I also know that my cervical mucus co-incides with the temperature dip (signalling ovulation).

I only have to work out whether or not endometriosis is interfering with my ability to conceive, whether it's my hubby's sperm count (he has not tested) or am I just too impatient and that really there's nothing wrong?

I'm a lot more positive this month. Maybe it's because my parents are visiting.

Hope others have better news to share.

Wheelymate 17 yrs ago

hi mayc,

sorry to hear. i hope your parents' visit will brighten up your mood and keep you optimistic!

squiggles 17 yrs ago

hi MayC,

glad to hear that your ovulation and CM is all ok. sometimes i think that the more you try the less you succeed. during the times we tried for no2, the times where we really tried were the failed ones, and the one where it worked was when i sort of went, ' what the heck', put on some sexy underwear and we made it a laugh. on each of the failed times i knew i was ovulating fine etc - and it was probably just bad luck.

to be honest, it's always a wonder to me how the little guys ever swim up there and find the egg!

sorry i can't offer you any more advice or anything but good luck next month!

squiggles 17 yrs ago

hi MayC,

glad to hear that your ovulation and CM is all ok. sometimes i think that the more you try the less you succeed. during the times we tried for no2, the times where we really tried were the failed ones, and the one where it worked was when i sort of went, ' what the heck', put on some sexy underwear and we made it a laugh. on each of the failed times i knew i was ovulating fine etc - and it was probably just bad luck.

to be honest, it's always a wonder to me how the little guys ever swim up there and find the egg!

sorry i can't offer you any more advice or anything but good luck next month!

Starbucks2 17 yrs ago

Hi

Just wondering how all the pregnant ladies are doing. Any word from the TTC'ers?

Nothing much to report from me. Now 13 weeks and had the nuchal test today (hope to hear the results in a few days).

All the best for everyone who is currently preggers or trying.

SB2

Wheelymate 17 yrs ago

hi,

we are now almost 22 weeks and had the detailed scan done yesterday. all seems well with the baby (still looks like it will be boy) but there is some unknown thickening of the uterus lining which is not my placenta. so i am going to my doc today to get his advice. this week is not off to a good start as i was not feeling too well (fever, dodgy tummy, etc) yesterday and had to pop a couple of pills to feel better.

according to the consultant who did my scan, he said that looks like it'll be a bigger baby this time. my 1st was 2.75kg at 39 weeks, this looks like it might be about 3.5kg at 40 weeks..yikes!i was so surprised, to think that most people are commenting on how un-pregnant i look at 22 weeks!

SB2- all the best with your test results and congrats on passing the 1st trimester!

hope all is well with everyone else too.

squiggles 17 yrs ago

sb2,

hope your scan comes back with good results. rest easy and enjoy the next few 'blooming' months!

wm,

hope your doc allays your fears and worries. and as for big babies, sometimes scans are not that accurate. my boy was estimated to be a lot heavier that what he actually came out as, and it's probably better to have a heavier baby anyway. they sleep better quicker!

on my side, am in wk 37 now - feeling like a beached whale and fed up and tired. got a teething toddler who wakes up for 2 hrs a night and had the added worry until recently of the baby being too small. luckily, that seems to be correcting itself now and the little one slept through last night for a change.

hopefully things will stay uneventful for the next few weeks.

good luck with everyone else TTC!

Starbucks2 17 yrs ago

Hi Wheelymate and Squiggles - good to hear from you. Wonder how HKCC is doing settling into the US again.

Squiggles - so close now. Amazing. I can't even think about being that far along as it is the scary business end of things (I am a first timer after all!) and it also seems so far away. Good luck for the next few weeks.

WM - agree with Squiggles - don't worry about how big he is as long as he is the right size or bigger then he will be healthy which is the main thing.

Given my trauma last time at 20 weeks (unsurvivable defect) I am still holding my breath but the specialist at least had a good look at the organs yesterday on the scan (as best as they can when they are so small) and did not detect anything out of the ordinary. So that was some good news. Will be pleased when I have the results of the nuchal test though.

Take care of yourselves.

SB2

MayC 17 yrs ago

Hi, it's great to hear that all of you are doing well.

SB2, congrats on your successful scan and I'm sure your nuchal test will be good too.

WM, so sorry to hear that you are down with a cold. Use this as an excuse to put your feet up and rest!!! How did your dr appointment go? Hope all goes well, I'm sure it will. Wow, you're already 22 weeks and bub seems to be doing well :-) I'm so envious of you ladies. Can't wait for my turn but am very happy for all of you.

Squiggles, you're almost at the end of your pregnancy and it's not long more to go before you hold your cute little bundle of joy. You must be so excited. It's great to have two kids that are close in age. They'll play beautifully and mummy will be able to rest. Right now, I'm so busy keeping my little girl occupied with things to do. I'm soooo tired after a day's work and she's so energetic wanting mummy to play cars, dolls and anything she can get her hands on. It takes a lot of willpower on my part to stay awake and interested.

I'm in the dreaded 2ww again. It feels like I'm always in the dreaded 2ww whenever I write ;-) I've learnt to take it easy... to still cling on to the hope of falling pregnant either naturally or assisted (hopefully naturally) but not expect too much each time. I've been keeping myself occupied with appointments so that helps me maintain my sanity.

HKCC, how are you? Hope your move to the US has been smooth.

This is my second month of taking my temperature. It's going great. I really enjoy it... I mean there's no guarantee that I'll fall pregnant when I'm temping but it's kind of a good feeling to be able to see when I've ovulated and to know my post-ovulatory and pre-ovulatory days. And for someone who thinks that I'm ALWAYS a 30 day cycle, I didn't expect I would ovulate a day earlier. So much to learn about myself. I didn't have much CM this cycle so I'm not expecting much. I didn't do the Red Ginseng or the Robitussin (too busy with my parents' visit). I also only did the baby dance in the 24 hours I was supposed to ovulate so I'm not quite sure whether or not we were on time. Eg. Sept 3, temperature was low. Sept 4 temperature was high. We BD'ed in the late afternoon and at night of Sept 3. So not sure whether or not we BD'ed on time for ovulation. Oh well.

Someday soon, I really hope I can join you girls with being pregnant.

Wheelymate 17 yrs ago

Hi Mayc,

went to my doc this morning. he said my illness is probably food poisoning or a tummy bug. nothing wrong with the baby, just me! i am feeling better but still tired.

as for the thickened lining, the doc explained that it could either be a branch of the placenta and therefore important to ensure that it's removed completely after birth. but when he scanned me, he couldn't find it, which led him to conclude that it had been a contraction, which is the other possibility. so anyway, nothing for me to worry about.

good luck with your TTC efforts this month. in the meantime, spend loads of time with your little girl. i swear i find the days just flying by and sometimes i look at my one and think, it'll be harder to have special time just the 2 of us come Jan 08. so enjoy your exclusive time with your daughter when you can!

hkchoichoi 17 yrs ago

Hi ladies-

I've been checking in sporadically - but hard to check regularly - now in the US, no help, our stuff just NOW on a boat (we got on September 6, instead of August 22nd as we had been told by relocation people) and our new house ready for us, but we have no furniture to put in it. The girls are settling in - getting used to the US, and Emily (the older one) is now throwing in English words everywhere - so that's great! We were worried about her transition from an all Korean to an all English school - but now her favorite word is "no" or "okay" so no need to worry.

Pregnancy is progressing - I keep losing track of how far along I am - I think it's around 27 weeks - although I can't be sure. I just don't keep track with this one. I used to write detailed notes in my calendar but I don't even do it this time around. I failed my first round of gestational diabetes screening (I've never had it before either) so I have to go for the 3 hour test this Friday. I freaked out as I don't want to have it - at ALL - but we'll see. My best friend is my OB, which is nice and weird at the same time. She will attempt VBAC for me - and so gestational diabetes isn't ideal for that situation. I think if I DO have it - then I'll just go for the c-section for fear of catastrophic rupture. Lots of things to think about - but of course, I want the whole natural birth experience I had with my first. i'm SO not into the c-section experience I had with my second.

I'm so tired these days - and not looking good either. All these things point to a son (according to Korean tradition.) My husband STILL wants another one after this one, but I told him :"I'm broken. I can't do this anymore" and so he said, "okay this can be the last...but you know if it's a girl you are ending the family line." WHATEVER. I keep asking him to allow me to get a tubal ligation this time if I have a c-section, but he said he'd rather wear a condom and have the OPTION if I do change my mind for another one. I think he's smoking something really good - because i am DONE. (watch me appear here in another 15 months saying i'm pregnant - SOMEBODY STOP ME!)

I hope all else is well. I'm settling in here - driving around in a huge minivan with my girls in tow. Different from Asia, but nice in its own way. TOO MUCH good food though - it's scary how much people here eat!

Kisses to all. To all those pregnant - take care - and all those trying - it's gonna happen soon!

Wheelymate 17 yrs ago

HKCC,

glad to see you're settling down, of sorts.

shame about the GD - hope it's nothing after your friday test! as for VBAC, my friend gave birth naturally to her 2nd last weekend. she had c-section for 1st. but this time, she had a doula, she was 11 days overdue, it was all natural, no epidural, no cuts (did have some natural tearing). so hopefully you'll be able to experience that again!

as for having another one, funny you should mention this. because it's pretty much a done deal that no. 2 is another boy, people are already assuming i will have a 3rd, so that we can try for a girl! my answer is yes, if they're offering to pay for the kid and look after her too! i'm exhausted as it is now, no plans for maid, toddler is starting playschool at the end of the month 3 times a week and i'll hope to have a part-time babysitter for some afternoons next year. but that's all. so to add a 3rd into the equation...it's like...forget about it! so you should already be given an award for having no. 3, boy or girl!!

BarbieDoll 17 yrs ago

I am new to this thread for writing but I have read whole thread atleast 2-3 times. You girls are so great. HKCC, MayC, Wheelymate, hkchoichoi, simplythebest, havefaith,spicegal, starbucks, 788 and all others....Quite knowledgeable and helping. I got all my funda..s clear mainly from here. I am TTC#1. Infact, I am yet to be TTC which I will start from Sept end. I am watching my CM, BBT from last 2 months. However, I never tried OPK, I already bought OPK (6 strips in a pack). It is from China: one step Ovulation kit. I don't know how accurate is it.

My age will be 28 years this Oct.

I have one confusion regarding O-day. My cycle was 30 days last month and 29 days this month. But when I calculate 14 days back, I find that my O-day calculation as per my BBT and my EWCM should be 15-16 days back from my next period.

As many girls have told in this thread that pre ovulation period can vary but post ovulation to next period days are almost 14 days for all females.

Please advice if it is possible to have O-day 15-16 days back from next period.

Although, I will use OPK for 6 days starting from my 2nd day of EWCM (I normally have 3-4 days of EWCM), I am not sure how accurate is OPK as someone said in this thread that OPK's may get positive little later.

I want to be more accurate for first one because I want to try for boy. Although, it hardly matters after reading this thread but I wish ...rather I dream to have 1 girl and 1 boy but I really prefer first one to be a boy and thus trying to hit the O day exactly.

One more thing: I normally do not have much spotting but these months I am spotting for almost a day.

I am also writing my BBT and EWCM for last 2 months below. (BBT record is only for last month) Please, someone help to advise my O-day.

Date Descp. Day BBT (from 15 Aug'07)

15-Jul-07 spots: started from late night

16-Jul-07 full

period started Day 1

17-Jul-07 cont Day 2

18-Jul-07 cont Day 3

19-Jul-07 cont Day 4

20-Jul-07 cont:less Day 5

21-Jul-07 spots Day 6

22-Jul-07 very less

spots DAy 7

23-Jul-07 Day 8

24-Jul-07 Day 9

25-Jul-07 Day 10

26-Jul-07 Day 11

27-Jul-07 Day 12

28-Jul-07 Day 13

29-Jul-07 EWCM Day 14

30-Jul-07 EWCM Day 15

31-Jul-07 EWCM:

little less than 30th Day 16

01-Aug-07very less

EW in morning Day 17

02-Aug-07 brittle

white. Day 18

03-Aug-07 Day 19

04-Aug-07 Day 20

05-Aug-07 Day 21

06-Aug-07 Day 22

07-Aug-07 Day 23

08-Aug-07 Day 24

09-Aug-07 Day 25

10-Aug-07 Day 26

11-Aug-07 Day 27

12-Aug-07 Day 28

13-Aug-07 Day 29

14-Aug-07 little bit of spotting in morning and evening--only while wiping with tissue.not on pad Day 30

15-Aug-07 Early morning…started day 1 full flow Day 1 97.5 F(BBT record starts here)

16-Aug-07 day2: good flow Day 2 97.4 F

17-Aug-07 day3: comparatively less than day 2 Day 3 97.4 F

18-Aug-07 day4: little flow 97.4 F

19-Aug-07 day5: no flow 97.5 F

20-Aug-07 Day6:no flow 97.4 F

21-Aug-07 Day 7 97.2 F

22-Aug-07 day 8 97.2 F

23-Aug-07 day 9 97.3 F

24-Aug-07 Day 10 97.2 F

25-Aug-07 very little

EWCM Day 11 97.1 F

26-Aug-07 EWCM Day 12 96.8 F

27-Aug-07 EWCM-good qty Day 13 96.8 F

28-Aug-07 Morning: EWCM: good. At 3: 20: also good.(inserted finger to take it out). Evening: still little egg white. Night: not transpy but translucent EW. Had cramping in evening as well. Day 14 96.7 F

29-Aug-07 Whitish EW. Not very strechy. Little bit fo cramping in morning. Little bit of EW in after noon as well…around 3 pm. Little bit in night also…but some whitish as well Day 15 97.2 F

30-Aug-07 CM like: semi liquid gond (gum) in morning. In tissu paper, it stretches fine but not much in fingers. No EWCM afternoon…Just some creamy stuff. Day 16 97.3 F

31-Aug-07 Creamy white in morning Day 17 97.6 F

01-Sep-07 Day 18 97.4 F

02-Sep-07 Day 19 97.6 F

03-Sep-07 Day 20 97.5 F

04-Sep-07 Day 21 97.5 F

05-Sep-07 Day 22 97.7 F

06-Sep-07 Day 23 97.8 F

07-Sep-07 Day 24 98.1 F

08-Sep-07 Day 25 98.3 F

09-Sep-07 Day 26

10-Sep-07 Day 27 97.7

11-Sep-07 Spotting from late night. i.e.Early morn ing nxt day Day 28 98.1 F

12-Sep-07 Spotting very little whole day 29 97.9 F

13-Sep-07 Full flow from 10 AM Day 1 97.6 F

14-Sep-07 Day2 97.6 F

You gilrs are so expert. Please help to analyze my data. I know its stupid to post such a data here but I really need an advice. And hope this analysis can help others in need too. I am based in Hong Kong.

And , yes, after reading whole thread, I really really pray all the best for MayC. Daily I see this forum last post just to read if MayC has some news. All the best to you MayC. You are very courageous lady.

And, at the last, sorry for posting in TTC#2 thread but I found this to be the best place to get all my answers...

788 17 yrs ago

Hi Barbie Doll, I have started charting my BBT and CM since last month earnestly. And per the suggestions here I found Tony Weschler's books really helpful.

Check out the link below:

http://www.tcoyf.com/library/faqfertility.asp#6

I am posting a FAQ from her site that should be applicable to you. And if I am reading the answer below correctly- you do ovulate 14, m..a..y.. be 15 days. It is the last day of you ecwm/creamy fluid, not when you get maximum. Hopefully this helps.

13. Does ovulation occur when my cervical fluid is most abundant, or afterwards?

This is actually a very interesting question, because the answer is not intuitive. Every single woman has one day in her cycle that is more fertile than any other day, but that day is not usually the day she ovulates! How can that be? Generally speaking, your most fertile day is considered the last day that you produce fertile quality cervical fluid or have a wet vaginal sensation for any given cycle. It is called the "Peak Day," because it denotes your peak day of fertility. But this day usually occurs a day or two before you ovulate, or occasionally on the day of ovulation itself (Unfortunately, the only way to know precisely when you ovulate would be to have an ultrasound every month—not a very practical solution).

One of the obvious drawbacks of charting the Peak Day is that you will only be able to determine it in retrospect, on the following day. This is because you can only recognize it after your cervical fluid and vaginal sensation have already begun to dry up. This concept should become intuitive fairly quickly, though. Also be aware that the Peak Day is not necessarily the day of the greatest quantity of cervical fluid. In fact, the longest stretch or greatest amount could occur a day or two before your Peak Day.

You have time on your side and you are so good about going through this the right way! If only, I had this much focus when I was 27/28 :) Good luck!

BarbieDoll 17 yrs ago

Thanks 788. I understood your point and FAQ is really helpful. I was just bit worried because when I count 14-15 days back from my next period, generally that day is very dry day and day before is little wetty. 2 days back is quite wetty.

But as you say, dry day after EWCM can also be the O-day. Will keep this in mind and I will plan accordingly.I will also get the hints from BBT, OPK and CM. This will be my first time to try. So I am very excited :-). And I really want to get it thru in first go because from next month my hubby will be travelling a lot, then famil get together and many things. But ofcourse, I can try my best. Rest is in God's hand. He will give whenever he want to :-).

Thanks alot for your help.

Wheelymate 17 yrs ago

Dear BarbieDoll,

I'm glad you have found this thread useful!

As I have never taken my temperature or really track my CM for TTC, I'm unable to help you out there. But I hope others (as 788 already has) can help you out. You can also refer to the TTC1 thread for information.

Good luck and may you have a little bundle of joy soon!

MayC 17 yrs ago

Barbie Doll, first of all, I'd like to say a BIG thank you for your well wishes :-) :-) Everyone's been REALLY supportive and it is really helping me.

I've failed again this cycle, I'm spotting today and will get my period either tonight or tomorrow.... but I'm not discouraged. We now have a plan of action (eg. sperm test this week, Chinese medicine in the nex 3 months, a second opinion in Jan, and then surgery in Jan)... so staying focus is really helping me.

BarbieDoll, I've read many of artilces which say that post-ovulation for most is usually 14 days but I've also read that they can vary by up to a day. Meaning the post ovulatory period should be between 12-16 days. If it's less than that, meaning you have a short luteal phase, you'll need to take some supplements. Otherwise, if it's within the range that they've given, it is normal.

I think 788 has answered your questions really well :-) I've only started charting 2 months ago... but I agree that CM isn't ALWAYS abundant on the day we ovulate. Mine tends to be abundant 2-3 days prior to ovulation. Last cycle (which we failed), we only BD'ed on the day I ovulated (because I ovulated a day earlier than expected and hubby couldn't come home on time) and I found that my CM was not as abundant as they were 2 days prior to that. But my CM lasy cycle was REALLY bad, I didn't have much of it.

HKCC, it's good to hear from you. I had gestational diabetes with my daughter. Actually it only showed up during the blood test (I had to fast overnight). I had to prick my finger DAILY to check my level after that but it was always okay. I had to see a nutritionist though and he planned my diet for me. I was ALWAYS hungry because his recommended portion wasn't enough for me but my baby's weight was excellent for the weekly gestation she was on. I was worried because I only had a small belly when I gave birth but I was surprised at how big she was. Call me crazy but I wouldn't mind 4 kids. I love kids!!! I've always wanted a big family but sadly, this may not happen. It's great that you have your dad and bestfriend there this time especially if you are attempting VBAC. I wish you a safe and smooth delivery (and pregnancy).

Wheelymate, it's great to hear that your pregnancy is progressing well.

Have you pregnant ladies thought of names yet for the little ones?

BarbieDoll 17 yrs ago

Thanks MayC for you comments.

Well, it will be easy for me now to track O day. If I wud not have any preference of baby sex, I would just start BD from the day of EWCM alternate day until dry days but bcoz I want to try for a boy first time (though not so particular), I am so much caculative for the exact day.

BTW, how do you know which day you Ovulate because from your reply, I can read that you know when you actually ovulate. Is it from BBT or OPK ?

squiggles 17 yrs ago

MayC,

sorry to hear that you had no luck this time around. fingers crossed for next time!

on my side am feeling extremely unprepared for the new arrival next week. my son is causing me all sorts of grief with his lack of eating and lack of sleeping, waking up several times during the night this past week with a temperature, which hasn't helped matters. oh well, will just have to cope - just feel tired the whole time and am dreading the weeks after the birth when my boy wants me to carry him and i won't be able to.....so feeling a little fragile to say the least right now!

Wheelymate 17 yrs ago

hi squiggles,

you poor thing! i hope it all works out. do you have anyone who will be helping you with your son when the new baby arrives?

MayC 17 yrs ago

Dear Barbie Doll,

I don't think you could tell for sure when you ovulate unless you have an ultrasound but you can guess. For me, based on previous charting and observations, I know that I am usually wet 2-3 days prior to ovulation. Then the day before my temperature surge, I'm drying up (if you know what I mean). This seems to be consistent for me month after month. You can also keep a look out for ovulation cramps because that sometimes occur when you ovulate.

I'm not so much looking at only BD-ing on the day I ovulate, I'm looking at days that I'm fertile so I guess in my case, I'm looking for cervical wetness and checking my cervical position during those times.

We're looking at doing a sperms test this week (hubby was supposed to go get a referral last night for the lab test and I'm not sure if he was late on purpose) but anyway, I'm just wondering if it's necessary for us because we conceived successfully the first time. Can there be a sudden change in the quality and quantity of sperms over time? We know that men produce sperms until the day they die... I guess I'll find out my answer soon enough - I think TTC has made me an expert at TTC-ing.

Squiggles, oh dear... hopefully he'll recover before the birth so you won't feel so stressed. Your son can probably sense the excitement in the air too. Hope your birth will be a breeze!! Do keep us posted.

Kikidee 17 yrs ago

Hi May C - we have a problem with sperm quality and the urologist told us that it is definitely possible for sperm quality to start out ok and get worse over time. The classic case is a couple who have no problems having one child but then a few years later find it difficult to conceive again. He said it's usually a varicocele that's to blame. I don't know when you had your first child but it's certainly worth looking into in any case. You can't really make a judgement about what treatments are best for you until you know the full picture.... and a sperm test is the easiest, cheapest and least invasive test there is.

MayC 17 yrs ago

To all the pregnant ladies, I'm just writing to see how you girls are going?

HKCC, are you all settled yet? How's life in the US and how's your pregnancy coming along? Hope your last trimester is going smoothly. Have you decided yet whether to go for a VBAC or a C-section? I know you were tossing up between the two before..... have you thought of names yet?

Wheelymate, how are you doing? Try to enjoy as much as you can before baby no. 2 arrives. My sis says you lack sleep with one child, but with 2, sleep is non-existent... and with 3, you won't even know the meaning of sleep ;-)

SB2 I've heard from in TTC #1, hope you are well also.

As for me, nothing much to report. Still TTC-ing. Hubs and I have agreed that we will do a semen analysis next year instead when I see my new gynae. It's scheduled for the 2nd of Jan. In the meantime, I've been trying Chinese meds and possibly acupuncture later on. There are some days where I think I'm going nuts... some days where I'm hopefully and some days when I'm terribly depressed. But I guess life would be boring if it's so predictable.

I heard acupuncture is good for endometriosis so I'm actively seeking one in NT. Let me know if you girls have any recommendation.

Take care all and here's wishing a smooth pregnancy to all who are pregnant and lots of luck to those who are trying ;-)

Wheelymate 17 yrs ago

Hi MayC,

We're at 25 weeks now, as far as the pregnancy goes, all is well.

Not with No. 1 though - he started school this week (3 mornings a week) but looks like he'll be skipping tomorrow! Down with fever, don't know what's happening. Maybe being in a house full of kids has taken a toll on his body, his PD did warn me to be prepared for this to happen at least the 1st 3 months when he starts. But that aside, school actually went well, no tears whatever although he's delighted to see me at the end of the morning.

We've started buying stuff for the new baby and making general change to the house....I have 15 weeks to go and there's all the X'mas shopping to handle too!

Yes, I have read that acupuncture is good for those TTC so I hope that works out for you. Good luck and please try to chin up, at least for your girl!

Starbucks2 17 yrs ago

Hi

17 weeks for me and nothing to report. Haven't felt any movement yet. 16 week scan went ok but have the scary, stressful 20 week scan looming. Will be so pleased when that one is over (provided that the results are ok) so that we can start to get excited about the pregnancy. Seems to be going very slowly but am flat out at work and tired all the time so the days are dragging. Looking forward to a spot of sun in the Xmas vacation.

Take care all

SB2

squiggles 17 yrs ago

Hi,

just to let you girls know that i had a little girl just under two weeks ago. she was extremely small, just over 5lb, but the doc had warned me about it previously. so far she's feeding well and is very content but i am very paranoid that she will have the same reflux and colic problems as her older brother!

as for her older brother, after the first few days of ignoring mummy and the baby, he's actually been very sweet towards it and is accepting her as part of the family now. fingers crossed it continues in this positive vein!

mayc, sorry to hear that you're still not having any luck - best of luck trying with the other methods of TTC. please don't get too down - as i used to think, i have one so anything else is a bonus!

wheelymate - not long to go now! time just flies second time around. and yes, i have plenty of help around the house for my kids now. because both of them don't sleep through the night and the older one is so so active, i now have two helpers so that at least one of the three of us has had a night's sleep! i don't want hubby to tire himself out doing nights as he's got to go to work early and come home late and earn the bread!

SB2 - glad all is ok with the pregnancy. i didn't feel anything the first time rounf til abotu 28wks but 2nd time i was feeling it real early about 14/15wks. get plenty of rest and take your vitamins! hope you have your hospital bed booked too!

HKCC - how are you doing? settled down in the US ok? any news yet?

Wheelymate 17 yrs ago

squiggles, i was just thinking you must have popped by now! congrats!

5lbs is small! my first was 2.75kg, about 6lbs i think and that's pretty small already.....

glad to know feeding is going well, don't worry too much!

2 helpers! i am envious - my husband doesn't want to have a live-in and we don't really have a proper room for one anyway. so making do with daycare 3 mornings a week and will hire a part-time babysitter for at least 3 afternoons to survive the week!

while husband is helpful, he's started his own biz so feel very bad about asking him to do the night shift. he had to do that last night because our kid had fever, was not settling and lying down on the thin carpet next to cot is not very comfortable for a 25 week pregnant woman!

enjoy your baby girl and congrats again!!

squiggles 17 yrs ago

i know what you mean about the carpet next tot he bed not being comfortable. we have a very thin mattress which we put out on the floor (just foam i think and it can fold into two) - it was two uses. firstly, if my boy falls out of his bed, the landing is oft, and second, if i have to stay in there then it's soft enough to lie on. during the day, we fold it in two and put it under his bed which is a cotbed without the bars now. but even so, it isn't comfortable for a pregnant woman! hope your son feels better - he may be teething? my son had a fever a while back and not sure what it was either so i know what you're going through - he didn't sleep well for a few nights (worse than normal that is)!

you defo need time to yourself so the part time babysitter is a must! i wouldn't survive without help.....

take care and rest lots!

salx

Starbucks2 17 yrs ago

Congrats squiggles and thanks for the message. Just waiting for the dreaded 20 week scan then will be able to relax a little (I hope). Have booked into Matilda but (as mentioned on another thread) not sure what that means if you want to deliver naturally as they can only book you on your due date. Assume that the booking is just, as with airlines seat sales, to make sure that they SHOULD have enough room.

Take care,

SB2

hkchoichoi 17 yrs ago

Hi girls-

sorry - it's been hard logging in. No help in the US and so time alone on the computer is few and far between. We also just moved into our house after temporary housing for 7 weeks and so I've been unpacking - still unpacking, but doing it more slowly than I probably should. Ah well - only so much that one can do, right?

My girls and I are good. I'm now 32 weeks pregnant and all is smooth. My best friend is my OB and she will be overseeing the VBAC for me at Stanford Hospital. They have their own set of protocol here but otherwise it seems that I will be fine EXCEPT that right now my baby is breech. My doc is reluctant to do an aversion (external manual manipulation of the baby) in order to have the VBAC, so aside from my baby turning on it's own accord, I may end up with the c-section ANYWAYS - ARGH! But I'm doing lots of yoga poses, cat poses, standing upside down poses, anything to try and get this baby to shift.

We still don't know gender of the baby - but that's okay. All the comments I get are that I'm having a son - which would be a serious relief. If I do have a c-section my dad and mom are totally wanting me to get a tubal ligation (no more kids ANYMORE YOU ARE DONE They keep telling me) but hubby is against anything so permanent. He won't get the snip snip either and doesn't want me to get the tubal...sigh...so what it means is that someday down the road- I could have ANOTHER ONE! The thought itself haunts me...

squiggles - sorry - why was your baby so small? But congrats - I'm hoping my last eight weeks won't go too quickly - I'm tired now - but I can't imagine having a third. I will have 3 kids under the age of four - and I'm getting white hairs just thinking of it!

signing off girls - still more boxes to unpack. Our baby room is still a shambles (although the crib is made) and so I have much more work to do!

Wheelymate 17 yrs ago

hkcc,

good to hear from you. i don't envy your current situation of semi-living out of boxes but hope you settle down soon - it's officially 8 weeks but who knows, your baby might want to see you earlier! will your current 2 be in daycare or will you at least have a babysitter for a few days a week when you have no. 3?

sounds like you're in great hands with your OB friend. i hope your little one turns eventually.

i am now 27 weeks, all seems ok so far. time seems to fly by much faster when you have a toddler to look after, i remember time seemed to stopped when i was preggers with no. 1. i am busy getting ready because i move alot slowly now, i need a daily afternoon nap if not i'm completely useless. so far we've transferred our tot to his new cot bed so that baby can use his smaller bed and starting to get organised with baby clothing, will be doing loads of laundry soon! what's great though is i have a friend who's popping a few weeks before me so we're keeping each other on our toes about what to get ready and because she's having a girl, she's passing me all her son's stuff so yippee!

take care and hope to hear from you again!

MayC 17 yrs ago

HKCC, it's good to hear from you! I'll pray that your baby will turn on its own soon. A friend of mine had the same thing happen to her... her baby was breech and dr scheduled a c-section for her. Then at the last minute, her baby decided to turn and she had a normal labour. Hope it's the same for you.

Wow, I can't believe you're already 32 weeks. Time really flies and you'll be welcoming your new bundle of joy soon!! I can't wait to find out the sex of your baby, hee hee, I do hope it's a boy. 2 months from now we'll know ;-) My friend's mother has 8 children!!! She was going to stop at 3, then 4, then 5, then 6, then 7 etc... she told us that she just really loves being a mum. She's quite slim too and she said it's from running around after 8 kids...

I wish I could have a big family. I adore kids... well, at least that's what I think now. I may change my mind when I have baby no. 2.

Wheelymate, you're not far off either. You're already 27 weeks. That's excellent news and it's good that you have a friend who's in the same position as you are. It makes the days more exciting. I'm getting lots of hand-downs for my daughter too. I was at Zara's yesterday and I almost freaked when I saw toddler's woollen jackets for HK$259-299 each.

I haven't got much to tell. I'm still stuck with TTC and I felt a spot of blood last night indicating that my period is just around the corner. I'm expecting it on the 18th so it seems to be right on time. I'm trying Chinese meds and I'm hoping this will help lessen my period cramps if anything. I'm not devastated. I think I'm so used to the disapointment by now. One progress on my side though - I was finally able to pursuade hubby to do a sperms test. We will get the results tomorrow. Please wish me luck. I hope he's okay because male infertility is harder to treat, apparently.

Squiggles, how's your little girl doing? My baby was VERY small, being a preemie and all... but look at her now.... she's taller than average and VERY active. They grow so fast ;-)

SB2, good luck in your 20 week scan. I'm sure that all will be fine. You can go out and celebrate after your scan - to celebrate the half way mark.

Take care, all ;-)

squiggles 17 yrs ago

girls,

good to hear from you all!

hkcc - glad to hear that the move to the US went well and i can well believe that you don't have any time these days to log on! sometimes we don't know how lucky we are over here where we can hire help - full or part time! good luck with the rest of the pregnancy and hope the bubba turns of its own accord. but you know, at the end of the day, all you want is a safe delivery so if you have to have a c-section then so be it....as long as you both are safe which has to be the most important issue! my first was breech and he never moved from wk 22, so it was a c-section for me then!

no2 was so small - not sure why - it sometimes happens apparently. doc checked heart, blood flow, placenta etc which were all working fine, and the baby was kicking so strong, but for some reason just not getting what it needed from my body! anyway, she's doing well and is a bit of a milk monster now! now over 6lb (2.7kg) so am pleased! and that's after having had diarrhea for 8 straight days!

wheelymate - yes, doesn't time fly when you got to run around after no1!!! i must say though those last 8 wks or so it was really getting tough going out and running around after them! they are so fast but yet they still want to be carried and it's hot, humid etc.....it's totally exhausting so i totally get that you need your afternoon nap!

mayc - hope the hubby's test comes back with good news. keep the hope up for no2!

sb2 - when's your 20wk scan due? good luck and keep us posted!

Starbucks2 17 yrs ago

Hi all

Good to hear from you HKCC and the other ladies on this site. Love checking in to see who has replied and how everyone is doing. 20 week scan next week. Ekkkk!

Take care

SB2

Wheelymate 17 yrs ago

SB2, best of luck!

Starbucks2 17 yrs ago

Thanks Wheelymate

Starbucks2 17 yrs ago

Hi all

Just an update, had the 20 week scan and doc says all looking ok so a BIG relief. Hope that we can now get a little excited about the pregnancy.

How is everyone else doing?

SB2

squiggles 17 yrs ago

SB2,

Congrats! Glad all is looking ok for you! But just remember to still take it easy but at least you can enjoy it more now! Now you've just got to worry about the hospital!

My little bubs is just over 5 wks old and much to my relief seems not to be showing signs of reflux or colic though of course i'm still paranoid it will start any day. I'm still getting over the fact that she can drink 4 ozs in one go without crying or having an hour's break in between! I suppose it brings to light just how tough it was with my no1 without me realising! Fingers crossed this good feeding continues!

Take care.

Starbucks2 17 yrs ago

Thanks Squiggles. Have been frantic at work and they have not exactly been supportive on the reasonable hours front but need to be firm with them to the extent that I can. Just because we have made it this far doesn't mean that we are out of the woods. On the hospital - doc assures me that Matilda booked - fingers crossed.

Well done on the feeding. Long may it last. As this is my first, I have all that ahead of me ... eekk!

SB2

Wheelymate 17 yrs ago

SB2,

congrats that the scan went well, it must have been nerve wrecking for you and hubby!

enjoy the rest of 20 weeks and better start thinking about what you need to buy!

we had our monthly check-up on monday, all seems well for now. i haven't put on much weight (looking very unlike a typically 29 week pregnant lady) but my doc doesn't seem too worried, just said to rest as much as i can to "grow" the baby.

Starbucks2 17 yrs ago

Hi all

How is everyone doing? Any updates?

No news from here. 24 weeks now and feeling the baby move which is exciting but scary at the same time.

Hope all is well with all those who are pregnant and trying,

SB2

Wheelymate 17 yrs ago

No updates, just counting down now....8 more weeks to go! HKCC, if you're still checking on this forum, you must be popping soon!

Check-ups are once every 2 weeks, will become weekly soon. Baby's head is down and looks likely to stay down, was starting to worry about breech birth.

Due date is 15th Jan, hoping to see baby a little earlier but hopefully after X'mas, already made plans and would not want to spend it in the hospital!

SB2: Exciting times, isn't it? I have a real kicker this time, #1 was active enough but this one takes the cake!

MayC: Haven't heard from you in awhile, hope everything is well.

MayC 17 yrs ago

Wheelymate and SB2, I am very happy to hear all the good news. SB2, well done! Everything is looking well and soon, you'll have your bundle of joy to hold. It won't be long ;-)

Wheelymate, looks like you'll have your hands full when no. 2 comes seeing that he is already an active cutie in mummy's tummy!!! You must be so excited... it wasn't long ago when you shared your BFP and it's really good to hear that you're almost at the end. Well done!!

I'm still TTC-ing. I've tried everything...my latest is Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM). All up, I've tried a year already for baby no. 2. My hubby got his sperms tested and he is VERY FERTILE. He seems to be WAY above average in all so I'm the problem. I've just finished my period. I'm trying to stay positive but sometimes it gets REALLY hard. I've found a new gynae near me, with the Union Hospital. Hopefully she'll be the answer to my prayer ;-) I have two more "natural trying" (Dec & Jan) before my surgery.

Please pray for me that I'll be preggo next year.... I really hope for another one... just one more.....

hkchoichoi 17 yrs ago

Hi All -

sorry I've been so MIA. It seems I just have less and less time.

I had my baby on Dec. 10 - Edward is his name. Born VBAC NATURALLY no episiotomy - it was all in all, the perfect birth for me. I did have my waters break early in the morning, but no contractions started so I had to be put on pitocin - which made the labor probably more grueling than a natural one would have been. BUT - still managed to get through it without an epidural or spinal block which was my goal - and a beautiful baby BOY AT THE END!

My doc, well - I'm just lucky she's one of my best friends - was awesome during the labor - as she was with me the whole time. She said it was quite the eye opening experience for her - as she generally doesn't sit an entire labor from beginning to end (although she would have had to monitor me more closely as I was VBAC) and to see someone go through all the stages naturally made things more interesting to her she said. She was an amazing push coach and my husband an amazing labor coach. He kept saying "it doens't hurt" and I screamed at one point "I'd like to grab your balls and squeeze them as hard as I can" and then the nurse in the room added "for a minute straight every two minutes." HAHHA. THat was pretty funny.

Thanks for all the well wishes. I'm recovering at home and having to do crazy korean confinement diet and potions and brews and stuff. BLECH! I'm breastfeeeding away and so it's all good...

Best of luck to you Wheelymate and Starbucks - and May C - you may just have a lucky new year's eve baby?

Dani R 17 yrs ago

Wow HKCC!! Congrats to you!! I was off the board for awhile and was wondering when the baby came - and it's a BOY! ;) Well-done for an all natural VBAC, that's amazing! You made me laugh out loud with the comment to DH during pushing! I'll try to remember that second time around if it happens, hee hee! My babe just turned one on the 15th, I'm amazed how fast the time flies...Sounds like you're all doing well - take care! And sorry to highjack the TTC thread, hope you ladies are all doing well too. :)

Wheelymate 17 yrs ago

HKCC,

CONGRATULATIONS! a boy and what sounds like a dream labour for you compared to your previous emergency c-section.

Rest well and does this mean there won't be #4? =)

I have 4 more weeks to go, legs cramps are crippling me slightly and will be happy to have the baby out after x'mas!

Havefaith 17 yrs ago

HKCC,

Congrats! I want to ask the same question as Wheelymate - are you still planning on 4 now that #3 is a boy?

HF

788 17 yrs ago

HKCC, A boy and a natural vbac....Congratulations!! Your grandma must be proud!:)

lovechild 17 yrs ago

HKCC,

Congrats!!!!!!!!A Baby Boy!!!!!!All of us are so happy for you!

Hope to have you backon the forum sometime in '08!Merry x'mas to you and your family !!!!

Lots of luv and hugs,LC

MayC 17 yrs ago

HKCC, congratulations!!! I was waiting for your news and very excited to hear that it's a boy and that you've managed to have a vbac.

Any advice for those considering a vbac? If I'm successful at getting pregnant again, I would love to try it.

I got my period last night so I failed again this cycle. It's been really hard for me. I'll be seeing a gynae tomorrow, my friend's gynae who's apparently cheaper than Dr Phillip Ho. I'm still considering whether or not I should bite the bullet and do the keyhole surgery.

I was admitted to hospital as well two weeks ago - I was shopping with friends and suddenly had a sharp lower abdominal pain (around ovulation). I was admitted to the emergency department but the drs couldn't figure out what was wrong. I was kept overnight on IV drip. My stomach ached for a few days but it improved. Could have been stress with doing too much lately OR possibly endometriosis.

My emotions are everywhere lately. A friend of mine had a failed second IVF and I got my period. I feel terrible for the both of us, less so for myself but more for her.

Maybe next year... for the two of us....

But that aside, I am thrilled to hear your good news, HKCC.... and now waiting for your news Wheelymate!

Good luck to all who are trying and for those awaiting labour, hope it goes smoothly!!! ;-)

Wheelymate 17 yrs ago

dear mayc,

sorry to hear about your hospital stay, that must have been very unpleasant! i hope you are feeling better now.

i'm also sorry that things didn't work out this month, i hope your new doc will give you the help you need. i don't want to assume to know how you are feeling but i really hope you will not give up hope. i know someone who tried for more than a year to conceive her second child naturally and later with some fertility drugs but things didn't work out. in the end, she underwent IUI and bam, she's due to have twins around the same time as me! so she needed help but all i want to say is, it's possible, keep the faith ok?

good luck to all those due to pop soon and those TTC, may all your christmas wishes for smooth pregnancies and healthy babies come true!

hkchoichoi 17 yrs ago

ummmm #4 - I don't think so. I aged about 10 years with this one. I'm exhausted already. Today I lost my temper with my older girls and was yelling at them because they weren't listening - not a pretty sight. I don't think I'm equipped to deal with 4 who don't listen. ACCKK!!

May C - it's been a long long long tiring trial for you for sure. I'm not sure how you are holding on - it's frustrating for sure. I have one friend, who has tried to get pregnant for 7 years with her first - she's about to give up as she just has decided it's not in the cards for her. I suggest you keep working on it and get going on it...do the surgery. I'd go for the "do everything" approach vs. the wait and see approach at this juncture - since you've definitely waited and seen for a good long while.

as for VBAC - it might be different in HK than here - but most docs here prefer NOT to do it. I did have a friend in HK who had a c-section for her first and then did VBAC with her second. Incidentally she said she totally preferred the c-section over the VBAC...hahaha. Another girlfriend here was the same situation - c- seciton first then VBAC. But my obgyn told me that I was the ideal candidate as I had HAD one successful Vaginal, and then a C-section and so going for the VBAC made sense. I was pretty committed for a VBAC - so that's what made it happen for me. Some docs don't do them - and so you have to find one who is willing to support your decision to do so - and has experience with them.

WM - funny how all my strange aches and pains disappeared upon birth. the MAJOR thing that disappeared for me was my 9 month stuffy nose. I got a stuffy nose upon getting pregnant and that was the most uncomfortable thing for me - now that I'm NOT - bam - no stuffy nose. And no hip ache either...hehehe...

MayC 17 yrs ago

Hi everyone,

I read with envy about all of you - HKCC with your dreams come true - a VBAC and a boy - and WM, with a baby due really soon! And all the others who are preggers... Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled to hear that you are all doing well, just envious.

It has been a tough road for me, HKCC. The initial shock of not being able to conceive a second time.... and now accepting my life's path.

I FINALLY got to meet my new gynae yesterday. I was at the Reproductive Centre at the Union Hospital and I felt sad that there were so many couples with fertility issues. I felt bad for them and for myself. It was a one hour wait. When I got into the dr's room, I was gonna spill out everything I knew about my condition and she said, "Relax. I know about you. I've just finished speaking to your previous gynae, Dr Lok". That was easy. She did an ultrasound and confirmed my endometriosis because my chocolate cyst was still there. She said that the adhesions/scarring from the endo + the chocolate cyst must have pushed my tubes to different direction so it couldn't pick up the eggs. My left ovary seems clear.

I asked her what I should do.

She said a few things:-

1) If I don't want to get pregnant, I could go on birth control pills and that would prevent ovulation, thus reducing the incidents of cysts developing.

2) If I want to get pregnant, I could try clomid to stimulate more eggs, thereby increasing my chances of falling pregnant. Chances of pregnancy = 10-20%. Disadvantage: It can worsen my endo causing it to affect my left ovary too.. but even if it's left on its own, it may develop endo too.

3) I could also do nothing because women with my condition can still fall pregnant naturally but may take some time... and if time is a factor due to age, then this isn't an option. I'm 30 so she's saying it's up to me.

4) I could do a surgery to remove the cyst. This would increase my pregnancy rate to 60%. However if I fell pregnant and deliver my next baby via c-section, the cyst could be removed then too if I do not wish to do this surgery.

I asked for her recommendation and she said option 2, being the least invasive, so I agreed. I will now try clomid for the next two months to see whether or not it works, and if I need it a third time, we'll do it with IUI but she's not saying anything yet. She wants to see how body is responding to Clomid first. I take Clomid orally for 5 days, then go back for a scan just before I ovulate. That's easy enough.

I then asked her a foolish question... "Will I be pregnant?" knowing full well that there isn't an answer for it.

I walked out feeling much better because SOMETHING is being done now.

HKCC and WM, have you girls decided on a name yet for the baby?

Wheelymate 17 yrs ago

dear mayc,

i'm glad you finally met your new doctor and got the answers/options to help you move forward.

best of luck with clomid and in the meantime, don't forget that it can still happen naturally so keep trying!

re: names. no names yet, we have 3 in mind but i think will only know for sure when we meet the little one! :) i think hkcc mentioned in one of her replies that she's named her son edward?

happy christmas to everyone on this forum!

hkchoichoi 17 yrs ago

Hey MayC -

with clomid - I remember reading (someone back me up on this) that it totally DRIES OUT your CM - so - you'll need to take the robitussin and do other things to increase the CM -

and it's the first step - give it a whirl. You TOTALLY have Age on your side - I'm so jealous - if I were still 30 - I could even consider giving #4 a go - but at my age - NO WAY...

MayC 17 yrs ago

HKCC, thank you for that ;-) I just read about it yesterday too. I'm due to ovulate around the 1st of Jan, so I think I better start taking robitussin now.

Edward is a beautiful name, by the way. I accidentally missed it when you mentioned his name.

I don't know if it's the effects of Clomid or if it's one of those end-of-year reflections, but I've been quite emotional lately. I keep looking back at how the year went and it's been really tough on me. I was hospitalised with endo (a sharp pain), I had trouble conceiving, my little girl started school and I'm still tossing up between local/international, financially we're stretched because hubby has just decided he wanted to invest in a rental property and it's been hard living soooo close to my chinese inlaws and having a competitive sister-in-law. I also miss my family and close friends in Sydney. Never before have I felt so alone like I do now. Hubby's also away a lot this year too because he's had to travel between two factories in China. It it wasn't for my friends, I think I'd go crazy. I'm also freaking myself out reading about how 20% of those with endo could not conceive and that 30-50% of couples troubled with infertility have endo.

So in light of all the above, I do not feel positive about the new year.

Maybe it's just the clomid that's making me feel like this....

Wow, you would consider #4 if you were younger? You must love children ;-)

I do too - I hope I'll be able to have my little troop of children soon. I'm so envious of you, HKCC. You've done really well.

WM, less than 3 weeks to go for you. You must be so excited!!! Hope your labour goes smoothly.

Happy New Year to all.

Wheelymate 17 yrs ago

Hi mayC,

Happy New Year to you too!

I don't know what meds my friend took but when she had trouble conceiving #2, the meds she took also made her a little emotional and short-tempered with her little boy. I say cry your heart out if you want to but afterwards, tell yourself that 2008 will be a good year for you!! It's been a rough year for you and you definitely deserve a better year ahead!!

crj 17 yrs ago

MayC - do a search on Clomid, I remember there was a thread about it.

But one of my friends said that when she had the injections it was much better as it didn't effect her moods the same (while with the pills she went insane). Another friend opted to skip the pills and go straight for the injections on the advice of her dr.

GOOD LUCK!!!

Starbucks2 17 yrs ago

Hi all, been on hols so no access to AX. Congrats from me too HKCC. SO pleased for you that it was a boy as you had hoped. I guess all the Korean "old wives tales" you talked about in your earlier posts during your pregnancy were right!

I am now 30 weeks along. Starting to think about the delivery now and stressing. Also the whole "its my first baby and how will I know what to do with it" worries. Guess I had better buy some books quick smart!

Good luck for your delivery soon WM. MayC - thinking of you. I have friends who are also trying to conceive with endo and my friend is likely having to have a tube removed which will mean no more natural trying and straight to IVF. It is very hard to see people in so much pain over trying to have a baby when it is supposed to be an easy process (but never seems to be). I will have my fingers crossed for you.

SB2

disco babe 17 yrs ago

I'm due to start Clomid too. Pardon my ignorance, but what is a 'CM'? I've had five attempts at IUI..... unsuccessful this time, so we've decided to try IVF. I'm feeling very anxious about the whole thing.

My doctor is giving us the option of going through the Sanotorium or the IVF Centre in Central. Does anyone have any recommendations or advice?

li'lbean 17 yrs ago

CM is an acronym for cervical mucus (doesn't sound that nice so the acronym is useful).

blessed 17 yrs ago

Hi Everyone...

Sorry I haven't logged on for ages so I feel like an intruder...hope you don't mind. First of all, all this wonderful news is really a great way to start the new year! Congrats HKCC! Your husband must be overjoyed with a son in the family! And Wheelymate, not long to go! SB2, I still remember your story from a while back and you're 30wks along already! It's amazing! MayC, don't worry too much, just let nature take its course and keep the positive vibes!

As for me, I'm 36wks now and am feeling the Braxton Hicks, I think. I get little sharp pains when I get up from sitting and occasionally when standing, so from all the reading I've done, I think that's what it is. So far, things have been smooth sailing (touch wood) and I hope the delivery will be OK. Yes, I totally agree with SB2 on the worries about delivery (since this is my first). Planning on a natural one so hope it stays that way. Going to see the OB tomorrow for the weekly check up so let's see if the baby boy has 'engaged' yet.

squiggles 17 yrs ago

hi guys,

sorry I haven't been on for ages but you know how it is with a new baby, christmas and birthdays all at once!!! Hope all of you are doing well.

Wheelymate - good luck with the delivery of no 2. I bet you can't wait now.

HKCC - congrats on your new one! Bet you're both chuffed to pieces that you've got a little man in your life now!

MayC - just read your last post and I really do hope you feel a bit better today than when you wrote that. You seem to be going through a pretty tough time at the momen and worrying about a lot of things and your in laws are obviously not helping. Maybe you should have some 'me' time - get our the house for a couple of hours a week for a massage, pamper, coffee with friends, a bit of sport. A bit of exercise and sport is very good for clearing the mind but if you're nto that way inclined then it may be difficult to convince you.

Look onto 2008 as a new year and a new beginning and please don't let all these factors get you too down. I know it's hard for me to say that when I dont' know you or what you've been through but I do feel for you and I think I can speak for the other ladies on this forum in that we care about you and hope the best in 2008 for you.

blessed and sb2 - good luck with the rest of your pregnancies and may your little ones bring you lots of joy in 2008!

babybemine 17 yrs ago

Good to hear all these updates.

Congrats HKCC - a baby boy!!!!

MayC, I'm sure baby number 2 will come soon. You have lots of time so it seems worthwhile trying clomid and hoping that releasing extra eggs raises the chance of one getting through. If not, having surgery will clear the path (and get rid of the endo pain too), so you will be fine. Please cheer up.

Blessed, SB2, WM, amazing how fast time flies. Good luck - you're almost there. I'm mid way through the second trimester and am only just starting to relax, (or finding new things to worry about). Otherwise, its been fine but I can't wait to have the baby in my arms.

Squiggles, congrats on your new baby. I remember reading that you are in your late 30s too? Did you have a natural birth or C-section? I was wondering if it is recommended for older mums to have a c-section.

Espresso, Petie, Trying, if you happen to still be checking this website, just wondering how you are doing.

Wheelymate 17 yrs ago

hi guys,

lovely to hear from you all again, thanks for the well wishes.

had my 39 week check-up on mon and blood pressure was a tad high so need to go back tomorrow for a second reading. doc will probably recommend an induction if it's still high.

i was induced the first time and it all went very smoothly but still can't help being nervous if i have to be induced again.....my worst fear is that the induction fails and i wind up having a c-section. my mum's a nurse and she said even if it's a c-section, important thing is the safety of mum and child....but still can't help being scared!

wish me luck!

squiggles 17 yrs ago

babybemine,

good memory! however, time has moved on and i was actually 40 when i had no2! i had a c-section both times because no1 was breech and never ever moved the whole pregnancy (extended breech), and no2 partly because of the fact that i had a c-section the first time, but partly because she was so small and the docs were worried about her.

there should be no reason why a healthy woman in her late 30s shouldn't have a natural birth - loads od my friends are in their 30s, (early and late) and many have had natural and many have had c-sections.

wheelymate, don't worry too much as it's going to send your blood pressure even higher! and you know what, if it has to be, it has to be....the most important thing is the safety of the both of you - you have a lifetime to be with your babes - just because you might have no2 by c-section doesn't make you any less of a mother! and so for the pain - it's nowhere near as bad as you probably think - and if it hurts, just ask for more painkillers!!! you will be fine!

and one last thing babybemine, once you've had the babe, that's when the worrying REALLY starts!! mine has just had the vomit bug for the last 5 days......it's about the 8th time he's haad one of these but it still doesn't make us any less worried! haha!!!

Starbucks2 17 yrs ago

Good luck for tomorrow Wheelymate - I am sure it will all be fine but agree with squiggles that you just have to rely on the doctors for these things and what will be will be.

Take care all

SB2

blessed 17 yrs ago

Good luck Wheelymate! I'm sure it'll go well.

Take care!

Wheelymate 17 yrs ago

Hi all,

Thanks for the encouragement.

As expected, I "failed" my bp last Thursday so was admitted for an induction. It was a quick labour, drugs given about 12.30pm, doc broke my waters at 2pm and by 5.19pm, baby was out. I wasn't brave enough to do without epidural like HKCC (hats off to you) and glad I didn't because at one point, the epi catheter slipped off so I was experiencing massive contractions for an hour until the doc rushed back to fix it..and then my doc came in to do a VE and lo and behold, it was time to push! The labour progressed really quickly, was 2-3cm dilated at 2pm, 6cm by 4pm and 10cm by 5pm.

Anyway, we are home now and trying to settling down. I have a lactation consultant coming to visit me this afternoon - it's not as bad the bf as with my 1st but still not easy so need all the help I can get. I am more determined and have received more support as I stayed in a different hospital this time, such a different and positive experience the nurses have towards breastfeeding. At the previous hospital, it was just bad. I'm not saying that I will achieve success, but hopefully I can go longer than the pathetic one week I had with my 1st. Once that's sorted, I have to concentrate on getting sleep patterns established so that I can focus on my toddler. The poor child is not taking things too well - hates me currently and pretends his brother doesn't exist!!

Starbucks2 17 yrs ago

Congratulations Wheelymate! What exciting news and pleased that it all progressed quickly and relatively painlessly! Good luck with the bf. All you can do is your best and sounds like you are getting all the best help that you can. Take care of yourselves.

SB2

hung chien yi 17 yrs ago

Dear Ladies

Thank you all for making this place informative and supportive!! I am considering doing IUI even though dr. said that we can try naturally but i am turning 40 and have no time to waste, can anyone share your experience on having IUI? i read somewhere that IUI can increase your chance to get pregnant but won't reduce the chance for m/c, i had 2 m/c this year and a year ago, do you think IUI can help me?

Thank you all.

HCY

Havefaith 17 yrs ago

HCY,

We are in a similar situation - I just turned 40. I had 2 mc's in 2007 and 1 in 2006. I think it depends on the cause of the m/c. I got pregnant 2 of these times naturally. Mine were related to the quality of the egg - Gonal F is supposed to help the quality of the egg.

HF

blessed 17 yrs ago

Wheelymate - Congratulations! Your little boy is finally out. It'll be a bit chaotic juggling the older one, the bf and the newborn so take it easy and rest well (whenever you can).

I 37wk6d now and can't wait for the little man to appear. Sleeping is easy now and I get so tired during the day. Thank goodness I don't work now so can take a nap whenever I want.

Take care everyone!

squiggles 17 yrs ago

Wheelymate,

Congrats on no2!! Life is going to be tough these next few months as you adapt and get no1 used to the new baby....it's all fun and games!

Don't worry about the bf stuff - itf it works for you then great, but don't stress yourself out if it doesn't. A happy mother has happy babies is what I say!

Take care of yourself - is this it for you then? I know I won't be doing it again!

Blessed - good luck with your little one. You must be get soooo excited now! And yes, rest as much as you can now because you're going to need it once the little man turns up!

hung chien yi 17 yrs ago

Havefaith

Thank you very much for your reply. I got pregnant too naturally, but after this m/c i am really thinking of getting some help. The dr. said that the m/c is mainly because of my age, how sad!! are you still trying IUI? do you think that help at all? do those medicines such as Gonal F make you feel uncomfortable? soory for so many questions at a time, anyways, take good care, i know we will all get there sooner or later!!!

HCY

Wheelymate 17 yrs ago

squiggles,

thanks!

yes, it's going to be tough the next few months, hope i'll survive it!

as for bf, yes, happy mum, happy baby is priority. so far it's not killing me, when it starts to and stops me from enjoying my baby, i will have to rethink my options.

and sadly, it's the last! my husband reckons the factory should be shut and he's going to be the one to do something permanent about it....*sob*

blessed, good luck and rest as much now because you won't get to when baby arrives!

HCY and havefaith, all the best with your TTC efforts, really hope things work out! :)

Dora the Explorer 17 yrs ago

Congratulations Wheelymate! The BF will get easier. On the sibling issue; I feel your pain!! I will never for get the tears that I shed after my son was born and his sister could not adjust. She blamed me, she resented him......ignoring him would have been better than wanting to hurt him. It does get better, but it may not happen overnight (it took weeks in our case). As I write, they are playing 'dress up' together and she's trying to convince him to wear a tutu. I was prepared for the worst with our 3rd, but that was a breeze (in case your husband does not want to 'shut up shop' after all). Just keep reminding yourself that you could not have given your son a better gift than his baby brother. He will thank you in time.

Wheelymate 17 yrs ago

dora,

thanks for the encouragement. it is getting better (i think), my lactation consultant reckons what i need is more confidence (seriously lacking in that department if you know what i went through with my #1, will never forget the pain of mastitis).

as for my toddler, he wasn't too bad today, he actually looked at his brother although he wanted me to cuddle him (which i did) when i was holding his brother....i guess he needs the reassurance that he's still my baby too!

MayC 17 yrs ago

Ladies, I'm so sorry for my silence. My little girl accidently injured my eye with her finger nail. I couldn't open my eyes for days and was off work for 2.5 weeks. I'm still recovering from it. The vision on my injured eye is still blurry. Actually it wasn't totally her fault. The small accident made another wound open - the injury I had a year ago so I had two wounds in one eye.

Wheelymate, congratulations on the birht of your second baby. It'll take time for the older one to adjust (my friend said months) but they do.. and soon, they'll be kicking balls and playing toy guns with one another. One thing my sister did was to buy a gift for her eldest daughter and she told her that it was from her baby sister. Her eldest daughter was very jealous at the beginning but now she loves playing big sister to her baby sister.

Blessed, how are you doing? You must be so excited now that your due date is drawing near. Good luck. Let us know how it goes.

Dora, you must be so proud of your kids. I can't wait to have my little troop.

HCY, I've been reading some articles about IUI. I think the idea of IUI is to insert the sperms closer to the egg.... none of them seem to mention its correlation with m/cs. I don't blame you for wanting to waste no time in falling pregnant. Maybe with IUI, you may end up getting twins? ;-) It's been a tough journey for all of us.

I had my second injection today (puregon). It hurt terribly during the insertion and after... and my heart goes out to all who have had to endure days of injections. TTC with infertility is tough. It hurts externally with a dye test, injections, IVF treatments etc.. and it's so tough emotionally too but it'll be worth it when we hold our little babies.

hung chien yi 17 yrs ago

Dear MayC

Thanks for the message. I would love to have twins via IUI if i am so lucky. I will start IUI treatment after Chinese New Year, wish all ladies here a prosperous year of RAT!!!

Havefaith 17 yrs ago

hcy,

Sorry - I missed your earlier message. If you are on low dosage of Gonal F, it's not too bad. Feel a bit bloated and that is about it. How much Gonal F you need will depend on your FSH level. I hope this helps.

HF

hung chien yi 17 yrs ago

Have Faith

Thanks for your message. I have not yet taking any medicine or injection since i just m/c on early Jan, even though Dr. suggests me to do IUI right away, i feel more comfortable starting until my first period comes which i think will be during CNY. I hope you have recovered well and let's keep on trying!!!!! have a great CNY holiday!!!

hcy

Havefaith 17 yrs ago

HCY,

Thank you. I feel fine now - both physically and mentally. I think it was a good idea to wait til you have had your period before you try IUI. Dr. Ho recommended that I wait until I have had my first period after the M/C.

Have a good CNY break! Take care!

HF

Nadine1976 17 yrs ago

I'm new to this thread but I've been reading your stories and thought I would wish you all the best of luck. I am in my 2ww after my second IUI with Dr. Ho. I feel for all of you and hope we all get our new year wishes!

hung chien yi 17 yrs ago

Hi, Nadine

may i ask do you have your second IUI right after the 1st one or do you wait for one or more cycles in between? Thanks.

hcy

Nadine1976 17 yrs ago

Hi hcy,

My husband and I decided to wait one cycle before trying the second time. It was also right around our x-mas holidays so I wanted to have a relaxing time and not drive myself crazy the entire time. We did end up having a great time together and now we're back at it! We've been TTC for less than a year now. I'm 32 in a couple of weeks (I actually can test on my birthday imagine that!) We fall under the category of unexplained infertility. Our first try was with clomid but it made my lining too thin but we went ahead and tried anyway (no success) . This time we did injections and all seems good to go. I only had two follicles this time but I guess it only takes one right?! Thanks for this thread. I really need some amazing women like you guys to get through this!

Nay

blessed 17 yrs ago

Hi everyone!

Just want to let everyone know that I've given birth to a healthy 7lb baby boy on the 22nd. It was a quick and easy but painful delivery because it happened very quickly. We're at home now and we're all doing well, apart from the constant feeding and diaper changing which is giving me a sore back and tired arms. Despite all this, motherhood is wonderful and I feel very, very blessed.

I want to encourage all those here who are still TTC'ing to never give up and believe in mother nature as every woman is meant to be a mother, it's just a matter of choice.

Ed 17 yrs ago

Feel free to post a pic here http://hongkong.asiaxpat.com/dining/photos/proudparents/

Wheelymate 17 yrs ago

hi blessed,

congratulations!

enjoy your baby and remember to sleep when he's sleeping!!!

MayC 16 yrs ago

Hi all. I've found the thread we were all searching for in the past few months.

I hope you are all well.

I'm 3 months post surgery (laparoscopic surgery) and have just given the go-ahead to start trying again. I have borderline stage 4 endometriosis so my chances of conceiving each month isn't great. I'm given six months to try naturally.

If it doesn't work, I will have to consider IVF. I've looked at the costs and I'm wondering how we're going to afford it :-(

Oh well....

How are the rest of you - all of you who are mothers already, expecting or still trying? Do write. I still remember many of you :-)

squiggles 16 yrs ago

MayC,

Have been wondering recently how you've been getting along. Good luck with TTC again - I really hope you succeed this time!

We're ok - my litle one will be 1 next week and the older one will be three in November. I can't believe how quickly time flies - it's been fantastic and hard work at the same time. Luckily, my okder one absolutely adores the little one and will spend countless hours playing with her! And the great thing about the little one is that she doesn't have reflux so at last I now know how a real baby should feed!

Take care and good luck!

x

Wheelymate 16 yrs ago

Hi Mayc,

All the best with TTC, my thoughts are with you. i really hope it works out for you because I know how much you want this.

I read about your daughter's experience in full day school, I did it temporarily for my son and will post my experience when I have time!

I am busy with my 2 monkeys and can't believe how quickly the year has gone by. Thankfully we have moved on from sleepless nights and all the other stuff that comes with a newborn. My job now consists of cooking endlessly for the 3 men in my house and making sure my 8 month old doesn't kill himself trying to be like his 2.5 year old brother.

I wonder how's HKCC, she must be even busier with 3!!!

blessed 16 yrs ago

Hi all...

I was wondering where this thread went! MayC, I was also wondering how you were doing. Hoping to hear good news from you soon.

My baby's 8mth's already and yes, time does fly! Yes, wonder how HKCC is??

Starbucks2 16 yrs ago

Hi all

Well done MayC for finding this old thread. I thought Ed had said it was gone forever! All that wonderful advice is not lost.

Good luck with the TTC'ing. I am hoping that the op did the trick but good to have a back up plan and a timeframe if trying naturally doesn't work. On the high costs of IVF, if you are not from HK originally can you consider any free public IVF in your home country? The only reason I mention it is that I know in some countries (NZ, UK and Australia I believe) the first IVF or sometimes even the first 2 are free but there are waitlists of course.

We are all good - our wee boy is now 7 months old and agree that time flies. He is sitting up on his own, trying to stand and has cut 2 teeth in the last 3 weeks with not too much trouble. I really now know what people mean when you cannot remember what life was like before they arrived (although I do remember more relaxed long haul flights!!!).

Take care all and keep in touch.

SB2

MayC 16 yrs ago

Wheelymate, SB2, squiggles and blessed,

It is so good to hear from all of you. I can't believe your babies are now 7 months - 1y.o already. I'm really pleased to hear it.

Wheelymate, it must be exhausting but fun being around 2 monkeys at home (or should I say 3 - is your hubby one too? ;-) )

squiggles, that's fantastic that the little one doesn't have reflux. They say that if the first one was hardwork, the second one would be easier. I'm glad this is true for you :-)

SB2, it's so good to hear about your boy - he's doing everything early with the standing up and teething. My daughter didn't get her first tooth until she was 9 months and didn't walk until she was 14 months but now I have trouble keeping up with her ;-) She's 4. It's been 2 years already since we started trying.

We started trying again last month. I get to test some time this week. I know that my chances are low because I'm a borderline Grade 4 with my endo (which is quite severe) but who knows, I could be lucky, right? We will try naturally until March and if it doesn't work, we may need to consider IVF (if we can afford). SB2, I'm from Sydney so I will definitely check to see if it's cheaper to do it there. I think I need to take a couple of weeks off work if I need to do IVF overseas so it may not be an option for us.. but who knows? It's certainly worth checking out.

I'm really happy to hear from all of you and most importantly to hear that everyone's doing well.

Keep well and God bless.

MayC

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