Posted by
Wheelymate
17 yrs ago
told a very select group of family members/friends before 1st tri was over. didn't tell alot of people until way past that. only made a big, yes we're pregnant announcement recently, after we did the big 22 week detailed scan. i am 24 weeks.
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This is our first baby so we were bursting to tell. Only told close family as soon as we knew, then friends after 14 weeks...I do find it strange not telling close friends because should anything happen, i would want to be able to share my grief with them rather than keeping it all secret but that all depends on the individual. In your case, where there is a higher chance of miscarriage i guess i would feel more like i was 'jinxing' it by telling too many people. But i think it's 14 weeks for alot of people/ end of first trimester...especially when you have seen and heard the heartbeat. Congratulations!
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to tell or not to tell, that's always tricky huh? you don't want to tell too many because of the just in case...but at the same time, you're so excited about the news, you want to share it with someone.
which is why we told some people (especially for me, some close girlfriends who really helped out when i did have some bleeding in the beginning) but until the 1st trimester passed, it was like a little secret between hubby and i, which is equally sweet. it's our number 2, compared to our first, we told almost nobody until almost 20 weeks!
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PDNS
17 yrs ago
Hubby and me are both 43 when we had our first baby. We tell our family members and few close friends and the news spread like poopcons! Baby was so safe and sound in me and perfectly healthy. The first pregnancy we told very, very few people and second one we told practically no one but both resulted in miscarriage.... so for me, i don' think it is the TELLING that cause the miscarriage but rather something that medical still can't explain!
telling or not telling, enjoy the journey and touching your wife's belly and tell the little one how much you love him/her and the mommy too. well, 4 more months the whole world will notice that your wife is pregnant and a very happy husband jumping around HK (r u base in HK?)!!!!!
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PDNS
17 yrs ago
Yes, simplythebest, you are so right - i was about to say what you have said.... we are so 'afraid' to tell our friends but we write to tell everyone that we do not know about our goodnews .... so what is the different?
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The first pregnancy, we told our families at 10 weeks (as we figured that if anything went wrong we would tell them anyway and we were busting to tell them!). I told work at 8 weeks as I was so sick (a big mistake to tell them and wouldn't do it again as zero sympathy and more angst). We lost our first baby at 20 weeks along in the pregnancy so by then we had told everyone (I had this miracle 12 weeks in my head which has now changed to 20 weeks).
This time (I am now 16 weeks along), we told family early but didn't tell anyone else until between 13 - 16 weeks after we had done a big scan at 12 weeks to check if the same organ defect was present this time (all looks clear so far).
All very personal but we did feel that it was important to think whether you would tell anyone if you had a miscarriage - if so, then it is so nice to tell those people - both for you and for them. Especially if you have had trouble conceiving.
Best wishes for the rest of the pregnancy
SB2
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cd
17 yrs ago
We told everyone straight away. Couldn't keep it quite. The longest we managed to last was 11 weeks with the last one.
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mrsl
17 yrs ago
Told a few people in confidence very early on with our first. Learned that very few people are capable of keeping thier mouths shut. With subsequent pregnancies, waited until we told our other child(ren) first. Thought 20 weeks was early enough for them. Got some comfort from the 20 week scan. Major fear (post m/c history) was that something would go wrong and did not want them to have to deal with any loss. Also think that 4.5 months is about as long a wait as a young child can handle, but still gives enough time to adjust to the concept of a sibling.
Many congratulations, especially to SB2 - will never forget your previous post. All the best!!!!
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Thanks mrsl - we have the (now much feared) 20 week scan in 3 weeks so am not getting excited until after that (sorry for highjacking the thread foolonahill)
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cd
17 yrs ago
To mrsl, how could you keep it that quiet for so long. With each pregnancy I was extremely noticably pregnant well before 20 weeks. I couldn't have kept it quiet even if I'd wanted to!! You must have lovely small neat bumps.
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mrsl
17 yrs ago
Foolonahill, had the same thing on all pregnancies. It only indicated miscarriage when it did not stop and included clotting. Definitely worth discussing with Dr. though.
cd, it was mostly down to very careful dressing. Easy when the early stages were during the winter (lots of rugby shirts suddenly appeared in my wardrobe), was trickier during the summer (kaftans and quick jumps into pool).
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It's always worrying to see blood during pregnancy but it doesn't always mean something. I had some light spotting at 6 weeks, put me in a real panic. Went to the doc the next day, no more bleeding, could see baby's heartbeat but as a precaution, I took it very easy for the week (and subsequent months due to MASSIVE morning sickness), had some pills and a jab to stabilise the pregnancy.
I didn't show until past 20 weeks with no. 1 and now at 25 weeks with no.2, people are starting to notice my bump but are shocked to learn how far along I am!
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