Dating in Bangkok?

I am a 35 year old, divorced woman (American) in the process of accepting an expat assignment in Bangkok. I am curious about dating as I hear mixed reports. I am tall, slender and generally regarded as very attractive....but I understand that most Western men want to date young Thai woman. Any experience or advice on the dating experience for Western women wanting Western men in Bangkok? Do I have a chance at a traditional romance in Bangkok?

Yeah, I'm in a similar situation(divorced)and I can tell you that wherever you go all you'd see is Western men with Thai girls.

My colleagues at work(all Western guys) keep on saying that they would rather date a Thai.

All I can say is good luck to you. I didn't even bother to look anymore:)).

Ya don't say?


Bird sounds like a scorned woman I reckon. A bloke wouldn't write that.

As shared by some of the western Expat guys - Thai gals are less demanding, have lower expectations & make them feel appreciated.


The culture can overwhelm the newbies western guys, so all it take is one kind soul to introduce them to Patpong type bars/adult playgrounds. Before they realise it, they are in a serious relationship with a Thai gal & into the new environment where farang is Number 1.


Due to the poverty level, a minority of the Thai gals are "leased for bar/entertainment" or "contracted or bought" by the older western guys to be their "little wife", even though they may have a legal wife in their home country.


This lower income gals see "farangs" as a ticket to get out of their current poverty lifestyle, so they will pursue these Westerners, married or old doesn't matter.


This is only a minority, as the majority still keep to their traditional values & not interested in having farangs' relationship.


Maybe, you can look out for dates who doesn't frequent Patpong or Sukhumvit areas.

Would agree with many comments here, American women, most anyway, are much more high maintanance than the local girls. The local girls are(not the hookers) are much more devoted, loyal and trat the men better. It's a real eye opening expereince for American women in Bangkok.

It's funny, in the US, these "attractive" women seem to rule the roost, or at least many think they do, but in Asia, completely different story.


In any case, I hope the original poster finds the man of her dreams.

sorry but i have to disagree with HK01


what devoted, loyal and treat men better? do you live in Bangkok? have you seen with your own eyes or heard with your own ears what goes on there?


your so called devotion, loyalty and better treatment of men hide an ultimate goal (in the greater majority of cases which encompass relationships with "working girls" and non-hookers alike) which is to take advantage of these guys and eventually squeeze them dry


these gals can say i love you the minute they meet the guy, they are so good at it (i have to at least give them credit for this) that the following day they are already living with the bloke; they will be lovey dovey, sweet and smiley and pretend to care and take care, exercise their patience and tolerance for a few months while they suss out the situation and then, only then will they start making demands, bit by bit ... little more money because somebody in the family is sick, trips back home start increasing with the pretence again of having to take care of family matters, then comes the need for a new fancy mobile phone, how about a car too ... oh, i really think i need a maid (they are at home all day long polishing their expensive and beautifully decorated acrylic nails), honey you should really consider investing in your own property (shared ownership or in her name alone if one gets lucky enough)


once the guy gets the drift (those who do clearly, and there are not that many around), the story ends but without major hassle, harassement and what not, which is likely to continue until the next prey comes along


this is not being demanding?

you really think this is synonymous of a higher ability to take care and truly care for your partner or is it not, rather, a selfish and exploitative behaviour? be it for whatever reason ... it is still not genuine i would think


i do not mean to generalize but i feel that somebody has to speak up for farang women in bangkok, and expat men have to start opening their eyes and making a greater use of their beautiful brains (rather than something else alone)


there is nothing wrong with farang women in bangkok and we are certainly not more high maintenance or demanding than local girls are; quite the opposite, in fact


I also do not agree that these local girls constitute a minority ... just walk the streets, go to any club or bar or restaurant or any entertainment venue and you will see how much higher the percentage of farang men paired with local ladies is here compared to other asian countries

and i would like to take hong kong as an example, or singapore since i lived in all of these countries


... i think i have just put forward my candidacy for a ban from Ed

must have struck a nerve... sometimes the truth is not always comfortable to hear

Hi all - thank you so much for all of your replies. It has helped me better understand the climate I will be entering. I am in the process of signing a 2 year contract to work in Bangkok and having never been there before, I wanted to gain some insight from others who have been there or live there and could give some advice. An extraordinary job opportunity with my multinational company in BKK is my impetus, so work and career advancement is absolutely why I am coming...but it is helpful to understand what the social climate will be like. So thank you to you all for your insights.


I think it is clear from the posts that while it is possible to meet and date Westerners, it is not the easiest thing to do in a climate where beautiful, young exotic women are throwing themselves at Western men.


I am reframing my perspective and lowering my expectations on dating. Work is priority, but outside of work it sounds like I should focus on myself, travel, building friend networks, etc....and whatever happens romantically will happen.

The milk of human kindness is evident, as always, in this thread:-) From my limited experience, 4+ years with a Thai, people in Thailand generally, though not always, get what they deserve. Johutch, have you considered dating a Thai male and just having fun on the far side?

I will never forget a taxi journey to athe British Club about a year ago in which the taxi driver coul dnot stop asking questions about western women once he realised where Iwas going. He was obsessed, and the primary interest was in women who were fat with large breasts.


There truly is hope for us all.


Feel free to contact me for my dinner club, mentioned elsewhere on these forums. You may make new friends.

i would like to say that in fact we shouldn't generalise about people. Yes there are a lot of westerners in relationships with thais that are based on money, etc. but thay doesn't mean we can assume that they all are. This assumption makes it hard for people like me, who are in fact in a "legitimate" relationship with a Thai. I hate it when people give me the whole line about "does she REALLY like you" and all that.... aaarrrgghhh. We are humans, and not all humas are the same. And dare i say that not all working girls in Thailand are cold and heartless. There are a large percentage who are from broken families and dont have any other way of making money. Or their husband has left them with kids and they need to support them. I would dare to say that it is the actions of many farangs who come promising all told things and vanish without a trace. If this had happened to you countless times wouldn't you be cold and heartless to the next man who tried to convince you that he "really likes you and wants to get together". There are even some farang who do this on purpose to get "more" out of the girls, which is a pretty sick state of affairs. So dont blame the girls, blame the system. Rant over (and because it is a rant it might not be that coherent - sorry)

Reminds me of a conversation with a couple of Thai police detectives over dinner in which they basically asked if they could visit me in Hong Kong and would I find them two plump Western G/Fs. They then demonstrated the size they wanted to which I suggested they might want them to be wealthy well. As an after thought, they thought might be nice. I await their visit to Hong Kong with trepidation:-)


Also the Thai man who asked me to find a nice Farang boyfriend for his wife. I guess he wanted a bit of P&Q. Thai's have such a great sense of humour.

Johutch, i really hope you take the post in BKK. I am a working woman in Thailand (the office kind). I love it here. Yes loads of the men have thai wives, girlfriends most of whom are lovely girls and i have made a lot of good friends of them. Back to your question, yes lots of men come here for the Asian girls but not all of them and i have had dinner/date offers on numerous occasions from very nice guys. It is a great place and i am sure you will enjoy your time here whether you meet someone or not.

is really nice to share your ideas and opinion with people but don't put your head into one basket.otherwise you will backfired.Life is like a box of chocolate.you never know what happen in the next few munites.Try to focus your attention beyond other boundaries of your working environment.probably that guy of your dream could relocate and share some nice and romantic moments with you together.Life is different from love and at your age ,you should know yourself,what you really like and dislike.

l'm single and looking for easy going lady.You can contact me on my msn then we can start something better.(seanpaul175@gmail.com)

Seanpaul says


"...you never know what will happen in the next few minutes..."


Well seeing as the previous post to this was over 600 days old....