Posted by
aremos
16 yrs ago
My employer is a bachelor and had been working for him for about two years now. The thing is last week he expressed his interest to me. I mean I like him too. Who won't he is nice ,handsome and a have a good but what holding me back is the prejudice and racism issue which is very strong here in HK. I do not want that someday he would say that I married my helper how disgusting! Shall I say yes or NO? Please help
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your case is not unique, I have been once in your situation but then we didn't share same feelings. During my contract with this employer I've met someone & eventually I left. To cut the story short my husband now was my employer for 3 contracts before we got married. Whenever I am asked what I was doing, how we met etc etc I just tell them the truth, it takes courage & a lot of support from my husband for me to overcome this stigma as you're saying. As flashback is saying if your employer is not embarassed to be seen with you as a couple then its a good sign. Listen to your heart!
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I had been analyzing the situation. Iam thinking of turning him down I salute you coquinne for your immesureable courage but I must admit Iam not as couraageous as you are.Maybe if we are in a different situation maybe I will give it a try..But the problem is Iam already uneasy and uncomfortable staying in his flat. I just hope this thing did not happen so that my life would be as easy as before. Goin crazy..
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Aremos,
The life of a domestic helper is not a bed of roses. I recommend that you use your head, not your heart, when considering the future.
Wait until the end of the contract, then find another boss. If your current boss is still interested, then consider some kind of relationship with him. But not while you are working with him, you are at a considerable disadvantage in every way.
However, there is an old saying, "love conquers all". If he truly loves you, things will work out.
But let him prove his love, in the right way, at the right time. Not now, while you are working for him.
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I think Woods99 has a point indeed! Let him prove himself, but not in the current situation. True that solid relationship conquers, but u may b thrown out netime! U need to make sure that u r nt part time for him.Ultimately, not a chance given to be told in future "hey!, daredevil! I married a domestic helper?" And besides, i do agree with FLASHBACK that u need to keep ur standard.Every human deserves to get respect.
GOOD LUCK!
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there is a asian saying "it's better to shine for a moment then died off than dimming for years"
go for the happiness, take care of misery later
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Crobeijing,
Which part of Asis has this saying? Happiness is not something you can "go for", especially in a situation where one person is a lowly-paid employee in what is seen as an inferior job, and the other is her boss.
Maybe the boss will be happy - certainly he will get some advantages without having to work for them. But the employee would be well advised to think carefully about her future - the chances are she will be very, very unhappy very soon. Experience tells us this.
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I decided to go to Canada at least there after 2 years I can practice my profession unlike here in HK I will forever be a domestic helper. He offered his financial help.I accepted it without any strings attached. If he can wait for two years where the situation is already different, where Iam already more confident of myself then maybe we can give it a chance.I know its too long but the mere fact that he offred his help without expecting anything it already spells a lot to me.I know here in HK we can never give ourselves a chance.Beginning next week i will already stay out every night. (Iam uneasy sleeping in my room knowing that he is just around)He found a boarding house where I will stay while finishing my contract. He is really a galant man. I adore him for that.
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