can enybody please explain!!!!



ORIGINAL POST
Posted by doncella 19 yrs ago
what herrasments means, because I have a frined that feel like some one is herrassing her but, since is an ex b-f she has been told that doesn't count like!!!

she is very tired to tell this person to leave her alone but, every day he will buts her with SMS and phone calls and mails...

is any body can give some advise???? thanks


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COMMENTS
flabbergasted 19 yrs ago
get a legal injunction to get him to stop....or threaten to tell his mother. Whichever you think will be more effective.... ;-)

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DallasCowboys 19 yrs ago
or sell his contact information to telemarketers, and any spamming agency afterwards.

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tia 19 yrs ago
Change her number. Get a new email account. Block him. I like the idea of calling his mother.

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shaq 19 yrs ago
From your description, I can see a harrassment. I'll go with flabbergasted; go in for legal injunction.


Better still, since it is only phonecall, sms, and other non-physical contacts as at now, I'll advise you to ignore him as often as you can. The ex-bf will see 'the waste' that he is, if he has any sense at all, and he'll stop bothering your friend.

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tigerbay 19 yrs ago
In Europe there is no clear deffinition of what actions constitute harrassment. In the work place the legal position is that if a person feels they are being harrassed, that is harrassment.


Send back a SMS saying 'stop bothering me or I will take legal action'.


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rats 19 yrs ago
The Bear, even he is Chinese, telling his mother wouldn't do. :P


I will go with shag, just ignore him and he will stop. Don't even bother to reply him, cos that's what he want and will encourage him to continue...


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doncella 19 yrs ago
flabbergasted, I will have to do the police thing, well hes mother do not live here anymore



dallascowboy: yeah that will be an idea

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rats 19 yrs ago
:)


The Bear, talking about Asia/Chinese culture, probably you have heard that no matter how much the Chinese moms complain about their childern's behaviours esp. the sons), they will still on their childern's side when others attack their childern.


Even if docella's ex is a mama's boy or has high respect to his mom. Will his mom care enough to stop him? More likely, the mom is going to blame docella for not responding to her son's correspondance :P


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tigerbay 19 yrs ago
Rats


Moma will defend him to save face.

But if his actions risk the family loosing face, he will cop it when she gets him alone.

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rats 19 yrs ago
Tigerbay, I am not his mom, but don't think his mom will take it seriously.

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Vulvic 19 yrs ago
I had a similar experience with an ex-b/f.


He would send me sexually explicit and aggressive SMS. At first I was embarassed and ignored it but things finally began to escalate and showed dome of the SMS to my Dad (who was a policeman in HK at that time.)


He wanted me to report the behaviour to the police which I refused to do (as we have mutual friends and didn't want them to know what was going on.) One day the messages stopped and I suspect that my Dad and my brother may have had a 'quiet word' with the ex.

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doncella 19 yrs ago
Thnak for the advised vulvic,

I should tell her to go to police since is already 30 y/o white man and not a teen eger anymore, and she is afraid even if she bumpt into him, he will make a big deal and tell every one that she is with him!!! kind of wierd

we don't know what hes problem is, she has try every kind of talking, polite, rude even ignoring him but doesn't work....

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doncella 19 yrs ago
Thnak for the advised vulvic,

I should tell her to go to police since is already 30 y/o white man and not a teen eger anymore, and she is afraid even if she bumpt into him, he will make a big deal and tell every one that she is with him!!! kind of wierd

we don't know what hes problem is, she has try every kind of talking, polite, rude even ignoring him but doesn't work....

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Vulvic 19 yrs ago
Donacella - that would be the wisest course of action. If this guy is persistantly sending SMS messages even though he has been asked to stop, he is obviously a 'pest'. Ask her to talk to the police and seek advice from them.


The problem is that many women are either embarassed to report this kind of behaviour or even trivialise it. The sad fact is that this kind of behaviour can escalate and in some cases become violent.


Good luck.

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flabbergasted 19 yrs ago
yeah, just remember I had someone that stalked me for years....it was worse than annoying.


Go to the police.

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Vulvic 19 yrs ago
Nemesis - LOL!!!!!! Did the relationship end after you nearly deafened his mother??


Mum had a crank caller that phoned her for years. He never said anything, just lots of heavy breathing down the phone. This went on for so long that he was known affectionately in our household as 'Peter Pervie'.

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lotusinbloom 19 yrs ago
Has anyone heard of STALKING?!! This seems like an ideal case to me! Yes, a legal injunction, a formal complaint to the police, AND call his mother!


All jokes aside, sometimes as most of us have discovered via the media, harrassment can turn violent. Please do file a formal complaint with the police department - they will be able to advise you further with what additional action you can take.


Stay safe!

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