Cheating isn't bad...

I understand how women, or men get upset when their partner “cheats”. But, honestly, it is in men’s genetic structure to have multiple partners. Like it, or not, it is the truth. Men are designed by nature to spread their ‘seed’ as far and as wide as possible.


Humans are as much a part of the animal kingdom as any other animal. Granted, we have a higher intellect, but intellect alone isn’t enough to keep millions of years of genetic programming quiet.


And while men are genetically driven to spread their ‘seed’, women are driven to find a mate who will give them a strong child. This is why women will often go off with the office ‘jerk’, while the nice guy sits at home watching “The Sound of Music” for the millionth time.


Why can’t couples just understand that “cheating” will most likely happen. Keep it discreet, be safe, don’t cause bad face for your partner, but understand that it isn’t about love, it is about pure desire that is pushed along by millions of years of genetic urging.


If both partners then understand this and agree to this, then it is part of the rules of the marriage. And if it is part of the rules, then it is no longer cheating.

Plastic,


It may sound like BS to you (and aparently the others as well) and I respect your opinion. The competition in the animal kingdom is tough. Survival of the fittest and all that. Lions & Baboons have a hard time because they don't have bars and night clubs.


Electrode,

I didn't say it was a license to cheat. I said that men (and women) were genetically urged to look for more than one (or the most suitable) partner.


mpl,

Thank you for your well though out and eloquent reply. Yes, I believe what I say. It is too bad that some people can not accept differing opinions without resorting to hostility for a reply.

Tsainar,


As someone who studied archaeology and evolution to graduate degree, I have to say your pop "genetic drive" view of a biological urge to promiscuity is just nonsense. It is all mental, cultural and superstructural; nothing even remotely similar to instinct in the animal kingdom.


And as someone who respects truth in relationships, I have to vigorously disagree with your notion that "cheating isn't bad."


HOWEVER, oddly enough, I agree with what you are trying to get across. Namely, that many people, esp. today with sexual images bombarding us hourly, do seek variety and excitement in sex, and the monogamous model just doesn't provide it. It is so easy to get into a rut (yes, pun!) and most people probably long for an occasional fling.


The solution, it seems to me, is not cheating, but open relationships, either dating other people separately, or swinging. I do NOT agree with the above poster who said that men want variety but can't stand the same arrangement for their wife. I have seen too many swingers who have no problem sharing their wife or girlfriend in exchange of course for someone else sharing theirs!


Its all a matter of mindset. Slowly changing, I believe, but still lots of people clinging to the monogamy ideal.

Well if cheating is just "genetic", it's kind of comforting to know that even with all our technological advancements and achievements in medicine, the arts, etc., we are all just centimetres from those hairy apes from which we descended.


If the procreation angle is removed - which is valid as humans (well women...) are genetically engineered for sex for pleasure's sake - then cheating for men comes down to proving they still have "it" and for women it comes down to seeking a better lover or one with a bigger d!k.


So perhaps then women shouldn't mind their man cheating because with men it's psychological. But men should mind because it means they don't measure up, in one way or another...

;-)

aspect> a lot of female humans see d!x long way off...

As dollars have little or no purchasing power in the jungle, bonobo chimpanzees trade sex for food... Not that I'm suggesting that's a way for Electrode to make new friends, of course...

;-P

There is a good thread here:


http://hongkong.asiaxpat.com/forums/womenonly/threads/49552.asp


that has some detailed discussion about why cheating happens as a result of sex going stale in a relationship, and a variety of suggestions from ppl's experience to prevent that.