I love my wife, but...

some women can be highly unreasonable...

i am married to one such woman who was extremely short tempered

in our society parents still play an important role, and i had to involve her father to make her understand that she is destroying her marriage with these fits of rage and anger

she is much more restrained now...

so my suggestion is to involve someone who have influence over her and ask them to mediate.

You say you've been married for 6.5 years, and your was sweet during her pregnancy ... was she happier and less argumentative for all those years prior to the pregnancy, and only became this way just since the pregnancy? You say she is nervous, irritable and argumentative ... does she ever become tearful/upset? If she's only become this way since the pregnancy, there could be a possibility that she's suffering from post natal depression ... women can suffer from this for quite some time after the birth of a child, but it can be helped by seeing a doctor.

Of course, if she's been this way during your 6.5 years of marriage, then I guess being argumentative is just in her nature and something you'll have to put up with if you can. However, if there is a possibility that she has post natal depression, then it's definitely worth persuading her to visit her doctor for help/advice.

The lack of loving feelings comes from one side and its not you. BTW I would treat her how she treats you. Over time you will lose feelings for her anyway. No man deserves the lack of respect she is giving you especially when you house and feed her and provide for her. BTW I would kick her to the curb if she keeps insisting on a divorce. Plenty of Mainland women eager to take her place and a lot more loving IMO.

after a child is born, a woman is not just your wife, she also becomes mother to your child.. so not really easy to kick her out... no matter how much she deserves it.

Yes but the OP said she is routinely asking for a divorce. Give her want she wants. She is still a mother to the child. It is of course not best for the child but its also best the child is weaned in a happy environment. The man should not be disrespected like that. She doesn't even want to be known publicly as his wife which is shameful. And she is in rages on her. Sounds close to domestic violence. Not in the physical sense but certainly psychologically or he would not be here asking for help or Googling for help online or making up excuses for her. I say kick her to the curb after an ultimatum to cut the BS and behave.

I feel for you buddy, because I too am in a similar position. As you have already stated, due to a variety of reasons it's best to just bend over and take it up the ass instead of trying to argue/reason back, eventually they cool off. I find arguing is a waste of energy and effort for little result.

Women seem to get grumpier with age unfortunately.

I would say, be very, very careful....

You can't keep on taking it like that without (a) respecting YOURSELF less, and (b) of course coming to respect HER less, even though you love her (now).

It is of course deeply troubling that you have a child, and the child is the least able to defend herself against what may happen. But they always say, "It is better to COME from a broken home, than LIVE in one." You may protest that it isn't a broken home -- yet. But if you allow your wife to continue to so dominate you, which is completely unfair, it seems it is quite possible that it will become one -- very sadly.

From what you say, your mother-in-law is as argumentative as your wife -- so you can see where it comes from. But it is not from her "genes" -- it is a LEARNED behaviour pattern. And I would venture to suggest, if her FATHER had not simply "put up with it" for so long, your wife wouldn't have LEARNED that it is acceptable to behave that way -- and thoroughly BELIEVE that it is, when it most certainly ISN'T. In my view, as long as you sit there and take it, the more you are reinforcing her behaviour pattern. She LEARNS ever more that it is acceptable -- and behaviour that is REWARDED like that, tends to be repeated. She has to learn that there is a COST to such behaviour.

You could just walk away immediately, go outside, and not return for an hour or more. Tough, but you have to do something that will show you are in no way going to reward such behaviour -- and if you are not there, she can't get ANY reward out of it, because she'll just be talking to herself.

There is no doubt this counts as psychological abuse. And nobody ever has to put up with that.

You could try seeing a marriage counsellor -- but the problem is, she may not admit that there IS even a problem. In her eyes, you are the problem -- though I doubt it is (very often, anyway).

People behave that way because they think they can get away with it. You must not let her "get away" with it.

Because the real danger is -- it will only get worse. And then, when you look back from the divorce, you wonder why you put up with that nonsense for so long.

If your marriage is still young, you still have a chance. But I doubt you will in five to seven years time. And the divorce will be a lot more expensive. For YOU, not her.

I sincerely wish you luck.

U wrote that she said "why you are so selfish and putting yourself ahead of me"
Did you ask her what she meant by that? Is this new or a long running theme?
You said there are no financial or infidelity problems. What about from her viewpoint?
You mentioned road bumps. What were they?
And you said many personal attacks were made against you and your family. What were they?
I think to help you we need more color, more details. or else its easy to side with you and just say shes a mad woman. That's the easy conclusion but it won't help you with what you are trying to avoid which is a divorce. So we need to know what she said as it may clue us in on what she could be thinking and how the past events shaped your time married so far.

In my opinion, based on the details you shared so far, you have done nothing wrong..

Some thoughts..
Have you considered counseling. If you can't get definitive clarification on why she is currently made and must guess if its using the word I instead of us or we, then the communication is very poor. I'm not saying its your fault. But it seems that the resentment in her is so deep she no longer wants to communicate.

As far as pocket money, it seems she feels better with a consistent constant flow to her i..e like a periodic paycheck. But you offer her more than that which is full access to your accounts. But she may resent having ot make requests.

When people accuse other people of being calculative usually its them that are being calculative. The pot calling the kettle black.

You gave her security in the relationship by buying her an apartment. She doesn't want to talk about her parents contribution because she's afraid you may want access to it i.e. to pool it for mutual use. IMO, this shows lack of husband and wife "team" culture. Sounds like her money is her money and your money is her money as well (except she doesn't like making requests).

The photo issue IMO is really a non-issue. IMO photos are to reminisce and you were not actively looking at them. They happen to be archived and I'm sure she has photos from years back of her ex BFs and you don't mind. There should be more trust in your current relationship and you love for her.

Most women feel offended if they think a man prefers porn over actual sex with them. But you already apologized. It is clearly not infidelity.

I think you need to find the right time to have a heart to heart conversation with her. I know its easier said than done but its necessary. IMO if she loves you she should not want the relationship to fail. Maybe you can tell her that you love her and that you don't want the relationship to fail so you want the heart to heart conversation. Counseling would also be an appropriate step. I can't imagine anyone seriously interested in preserving things, especially with a newborn, not wanting such a discussion or help. Try to get clarification on things that are wrong to her and how they can change. But at the same time don't be a pushover. You need to ascertain whether she really loves you. If she doesn't why do you want to be with her any longer. Sometimes we are hesitant to face changes even if the changes are for our own good.

I think she is being very unreasonable, more so than just a typical grumpy wife, it sounds like she has another guy on the outside and wants out. That's the only explanation for such erratic and irrational behavior.

Yes I really agree with what said scorpion01 "some women can be highly unreasonable..."

then we always need to find a solution out. They are like princess but immature ones...