Family, other woman how to handle ?

I need some advice about my present relationship.

i am in my early 40's and been separated for 12 yrs.

At present i am in a relationship that sometimes now makes me feel so betrayed. I have been living with him for 4 yrs now. He got a family wayback home with 2 daughters.

When we met he lied to me he said he was single , later on i found out about his family .At first i want to leave him but then That time i tried to accept as he was so discreet in communicating with his family , like he never call or answer their calls in front of me.

He was nice and responsible that i was able to at accept where i am gong to stand during the course of our relationship.


Lately he was talking with them thru skype frequently likeat least 2 times a day esp. when he comes back from work.

Thought i was emotionally strong enough to just ignore but now i feel i am betrayed more and hurt.


Then i found out he was flirting with the helper next building. up to the point that she was really eager to go with him..somewhere even inside the bush ...under the bridge ...exciting maybe...

I tried to be calm but still i blown up.

Then patiently i talked with him about separation but he disagreed.

I can't pretend to be happy about this as i told him it hurts,

i know he loves his family he says he loves me too.

His family i accepted but another woman i don;t think i can.


PLs. i need some advice on this.


Thanks,

You ask for this when you still continue the relationship even after finding out he is married. Get out now before you have a hand to ruin his already ruined marriage.

This guy is lonely and you fill in the gap so well. You both are selfish and very irresponsible hurting 3 other persons with your actions. Now it's your turn to feel the hurt....you deserve all the consequences. This adulterer wouldn't end up well either cause he's playing with fire....what a cheating louse!

OK - please clarify: is your man divorced? Or cheating on a wife back home? Because in most countries, being divorced means "single" again. You say "I thought he was single" and then you found out about his family. Does that mean he is still married? If not, well, I dont get what your hangup is about him being in touch with his family (assuming this is his kids from his previous marriage) and if you are hung up on that, you have a problem of insecurity, for sure.


Now, about the maid from another building who wants to have a fiddle in the bush...if its true, then you are with a lousy guy. Sorry. Its one thing for you to be insecure about his family or whatever (assuming he is divorced) but a whole other thing if he is trying to f-around on you with the maid from the next building.


You said it yourself: His family I accepted, but another woman I dont think I can.


I dont think you need advice anymore, as you know that you dont accept your man doing the run around on you.


So why dont you do whats right for you and just dump him already?


I am guessing there would be one factor that plays into this, the whole "I am in my 40's" thing. Its possible you are scared about being alone and about being in your 40s and hence the plea for "advice" you hope someone will say, "work it out, be strong, stick with this a-hole" or something. But you know the right thing to do, and only you need to be strong enough to do it.


Unless...


You are just being paranoid about him and the maid from next door...I mean, a bush? under a bridge??? WTH? Who needs to be that out in nature here in HK?


Oh, and if he is married...and you still got into a relationship with him...well, sorry to say this but, karma is a biyatch.

I sympathize with you. Many get into similar situations because it's the best option available at the moment, not thinking or refusing to think about the future. Many will chastise you on this forum so be prepared. But as the saying goes, what goes around comes around. Good luck.

Well it hurts though i know i am in a very bad position. You re all right most of my friends are telling me also why i am still staying with him.. Its about time for me to wake up... and leave him....

thanks guys...