Posted by
lulu
19 yrs ago
Age difference! My ex boyfriend was 1 year younger than me and we went out for 10 years! then it seems i never go out with anyone older than me! Most of then are like 5-6 years younger!!!
What should I do??!!
So now, nothing anymore....:s
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bear,
are you white?
i suspect it was more of a race thing, than an age thing...
but yeah, age is an issue in the more conservative circles
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in theory the age difference shouldn't make a difference. in reality, it doesn't make a difference to the happy couple, but sometimes it makes a difference to others around them, because a couple isn't an island after all, right?
leaving aside your ex-gf's unfaithfulness for now, i think her family probably wanted to know what your intentions were with their daughter - marriage? kids? or just an indefinite relationship? but i would tend to agree with lost in gz, it was probably more about race, although the excuse given to you was the age difference.
also, age differences at different ages are perceived...differently! (capisce? ;-) ) in my mid-20s i dated someone 6 years younger than me, for two years. at the time this was perceived to be a somewhat significant difference by friends and family - after all he was literally just out of college when we started dating. (aaahh but he was yummy!) nearly fifteen years on, however, this age difference would mean nothing at at all, now that i'm approaching 40.
in my early 30s i dated a man 21 years my senior - it lasted only 9 months. we broke up because we just weren't meant for a longer-term relationship, but i have to say it was more than occasionally a tad awkward socially getting our respective friends together...especially my asian ones, who absolutely must call their elders mr, mrs, auntie or uncle! :-D
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tia
19 yrs ago
I have dated older men and younger men. My experience with the younger man was rough, so I prefer to stick with older men. My current b/f is only 3 years older. No problem there.
When I was younger, I dated a guy who was only 5 years older, but because I was 18, my mother flipped out. Somehow, once I turned 20, it did not sound bad.
I think it is more about maturity than actual age. The younger guy was VERY young for his age. (He is 6 years younger than me). I also dated a guy older than me and he was insanely immature as well.
I would think that in the case of Western/Asian couplings, it is more the race issue than the age issue...unless they are planning to marry and are worried about ability to reproduce.
If you both get along well and relate well, who cares what the numbers on your birth certifcate say?
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that is very true! there is no direct correlation between age and maturity. 8-) mr. 6-years-younger was in many ways more mature than mr. 21-years-older.
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Normally it's not such a big deal when men are older then their partners, not like in vice versa cases. However, I used to worked with an architecture company (our client) where 25% of couples working in the same company with older wives. And a record was when the wife is 16 years older.
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I'm 16 years older than my boyfriend and we love each other very much. I think that age is just a number, it's what you feel on the inside that counts. I have friends who are in their 30's acting like grandmas and freinds in their 50s who live for the moment.
Becomes an issue if children are wanted (with an older female partner) but love counts.
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Well2
19 yrs ago
yes. I also like to be with older men better. You feel happier when they do stupid silly stuff to make you laugh, especially if they are smart and calm @ most of the time....:-)
re: edit
yes JC :-) Right after you reminded me...
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All my relationships have been with men 8-10 years older than me. This seems to be sthg I started in my early 20's.
I often toy with the idea of dating a younger man but I' always drawn to bald, old, gits instead. Lol!
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My b/f in the last last 3 dates (including the current one) are all younger than me. Funny that even though I look older my age but most of the guys wanting to have relationships with me are always younger.
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tia
19 yrs ago
Vulvic... Nothing wrong with bald men. My last 3 serious boyfriends have been bald. 2 were/are quite sexy. The younger one...well, it was his poor attitude and lack of maturity that made him less attractive.
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Tia - I could do with you to back me up in one of my many arguements with my bro. He constantly mocks my choice of fella and is convinced that I have an 'Ugly Magnet' that attracts unsavoury types, lol!!
I agree bald men are very sexy. I think it ties in with the whole virility thing.
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Well2
19 yrs ago
um...not a big fan of bald, but a little BELLY is cute :-D
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Bald, shaved heads - it's all good.
Personally I think hair is overrated!
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Well2
19 yrs ago
yes, i do think it's cute!!
of course i don't mean HUGE belly
Odd taste? :-)
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JCPD - I agree, very cute indeed. No, I don't hate him he's a sweetie. Just not for me.
I live happy in the knowledge that there are many, many bald men out there just waiting for me. Lol!
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Hi Bear, I occasionally have worries about the age gap between my and my partner (13 years),I am 42. Attitude is everything, your only as old as the woman your feeling as it were and I love the challenge of trying to keep as fit as she is. We do get funny moments when I hear a Police or U2 song and reminds me she was 6 or whatever when that came out, but they are exactly that, funny moments. She can be serious enough for both of us sometimes and seometimes I swear I am a teenager again. If it feels good go for it and if it doesnt work then chances are it is not the age thing it is something else in the relationship and it is just being used as an easy cop out. Piece of inspiration for you, I have a mate who is 67 married to a forty something lady and they have a seven year old daughter and he can be the life and soul of a party, so just enjoy life.
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shaq
19 yrs ago
Age matters if you care, and you care when you're shy or, more importanlt, when the sex is not good. Otherwise, I see no problem. Age is just state of the mind.
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i find it a bit weird for a 39 year old bloke to be with a 20 year old girl, as i cant quite see what they would talk about and therefore would think he's just after one thing from her. However if he were 59 and she were 30 that'd be okay cos at least she'd be grown up.
I couldnt imagine myself being with any bloke under 28, although even then im sure i'd have problems with conversation. I love a bit of maturity but is it the same the other way round?
mmm good question? I guess it goes back to the thread about intelligence. ....statement true or false then?
Women want men who are on their level, emotionally, spiritually, mentally and physically....they will however accept 3 of the four as they know they cant have it all.
Men want women who are on their level physically and emotinally...lol
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In addition, mum married a man 20 years older. They were very happy for 18 years but sadly he died when he was 69 years old and she wasnt even 50. It has its pros and cons i guess. me and my sis got a great upbringing and were possibly more street wise and cooler than the average teen cos our father figure was older and cooler but we never got the support when we were in our twenties cos he wasnt here. And poor mum had to start over ...but then i guess you could say that many start over at this age anyways ...lol....cos of that evil thing DIVORCE! i guess each to their own really.
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Whatever your age you should:
Live your life today. Do not ignore the future but have fun now, you may die tommorow. No one is to young to die, it can happen anytime.
Enjoy all that is good, good music from 100 years ago to yesterday, if it is good, it's good. Don't let time (actually peer pressure) keep you form enjoying good music, art, fashion etc.. Have your own sense of taste and style.
You can ALWAYS have a interesting conversation with any other person regardless of age or intelligence, or social backgroud. Every persons' story is fascinating, if you don't find that it is, it's just because you haven't found the key to unlock that part of the other persons' life's story...try harder.
But we do get sicker as we get older, so the chance of death is higher. Then the biological clock thing if you want to have kids.
But all in all, I don't agree with you are "as old as you are" but merely, some people stop enjoying their life becasue they are "suppose to".
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My husband is 19 years older than me and we are married for 8 years now and have 2 lovely daughters.Two different cultures and big age gap is very difficult.Yes,we do have a lot of common in terms of interest but still older people thinks different ways than a younger one.Why our marriage works ? just a matter of cummunication and understanding......thats from me.
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kwi
19 yrs ago
I used to believe that age difference is not a matter, love is everything...too naive to have this thought, in reality age difference can cause lots of conflicts. I am 25 years younger than him, the problem I see is that he loses patience with my level of immaturity, lack of life experience & learning process. Afterall he's gone through a lot of what I am dealing with & he knows how to do things the right way. sure its not easy watching me stumble through the past experiences & fall into "traps" etc. I love him v much, he's been so good to me & taught me countless things, most importantly he knows how to treat a woman right (man in this age)...Very soon I have to be on my own, its gonna be tough, but this is life I have to move on (sigh) sorry if I bored anyone here, I am new to this forum & just want to share my feelings & opinion. afterall it all depends on the individuals and situation involved. case by case of course there are exceptions...
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You know old men are more alluring and they usually come with wisdom and charisma which you dont normally find them in younger men....hhmmm
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I'm 'into' older men despite the fact that boys will be boys. At least older men know they are boys. The Bear just proved that. Bear, you rock!
On a more serious note, if there's a major age gap, you can either overanalyse it or just take it as a fact. I'd rather live life to the fullest with a much older person for a short time than just exist with someone my age for a (seemingly) very long time. Been in both situations btw.
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