to all:

thanks for all your inputs!! nice discussion!

do what you feel is right. In my humble opinion, guys like dating easy girls, but not taking them home to present to their mothers (unless they are past a certain age).

Stop being so prude. Sleeping at the first date doesn't mean you're a slut or a messing around guy. Some people just enjoy sex.


What if you have 10 dates with somebody, starts to have feelings for him/her and then discover he/she's crap ib bed?


I think you should do as you want, not as people might consider it. It's your life.

well.. well.. well.. this is an open forum, i'm just bringing this topic up because we women have very different mindsets among ourselves already (as seen above) and i'm sure men have their thinking that varies among themselves as well... to me, i don't think there should be a line to draw between right or wrong; yes or no; do's or don'ts over on this topic. I, myself, will go with my guts, besides this ain't a one-man-party deed, it takes 2 to tango!

hey mayechka, i think it all depends on your own will. just like those people who hold themselves on the floating poles in Survivor, it makes no harm to yourself to losen up, coz you'll be sitting aside comfortably watching the ones still hanging there yet some consider you lose the battle...


by the way, JC, we've met before, just wanna say a big hello to you!

Maybe you would like to hear a man's point of view ...


If you ask a lot of men, they would tell you that after the third date, something should happen.

On the other side I know a friend, she is crasy for one guy, has seen him for 7 times already, and she decided that nothing would happen before december.

Conclusion : stupid, both sides of course. In both cases it is a matter of self confidence and maturity.


Let's put aside the men which are playing, because a smart man can be patient and run several sweet dates in parallel. Bare in mind that a man who is confident and patient enough is possibly having someone on the side and is just looking for "better option", which explains why he is not so clingy and not pushing for it ... Some women are playing the same game anyway.


Now let's put ourselve in decent people's shoes. Miss A like Mr B and vis versa. Well now, guess what is the question in their mind : Does she/he like me ?

Problem is for Mr B the answer is if Miss A likes me, then we would have sex. And for Miss A, if Mr B likes her he would wait for her so that they know eachother. Hence the dilemna. Let's go a bit further. Again, we are talking of normal people.


For the ladies : It does not take that long to know if you like someone and if you are attracted. But it takes a very long while to really know them. So no matter how long you wait, you would still know the guy superficialy. Plus intimacy breaks a lot of walls and then you really get to know the person. If a man likes you, he will not be totally natural when he meets you, but once the relashionship has started then he would open completly. And last, if a man does not like your personality, then he would not see you 4 times just to get into your pants. Believe me, if you are just after that, there are much easier options.


Now for the men : there is a lot of pleasure courting the lady you like, and each step you take to get closer is a pleasure. And it is nice to show her, you like her, not just her legs. Plus same story, if a girl likes you then she would want to see you. So it is just a matter of creating the nice environment to break the last ice.


So conclusion ? Well there is no point in waiting until a certain time. Wait too long and the guy has the feeling you are playing with him, and be too quick would just scare a nice gal' But in the end, it cannot be too long because the time you spend dating at the beginning does not tell how solid the relashionship will be. When a moment is magic go for a kiss and go with the flow.

Well, considering the current relationship started MONTHS after we slept together, that may not be the best indicator.


Evohoe, JC and PUmpkin all have valid points. When you KNOW, you know. If it does not feel right, there is a reason.


It felt right with G when we hooked up almost 2 years ago. It felt right when we started being more serious. It has more or less felt right all along, which is a good indication.

Odd that, hey. HOwever, if you ask mine, he'll consider it starting from that first visit. Boys. What can you do???

I agree that's all about how you feel but not what the others think. Nothing about sleep at first date mean you are slut or something but sure that take some risks. However also nothing about to save it until marriage, that's nothing conservative as well. That's just about do you feel comfortable about it, not fashion, not to prove how much you are in love with him but that's respect from both side.

I am kinda into the relief to save it until marry too. But I also think about if I go into a steady relationship that I think I don't regret even I do that before marriage. That's fine as well. Nothing is fixed. Not insist because just insist.

How many dates then have something more close? That just depends on both feeling. If a guy just want to get in your pants, that's not too difficult to know. If you are in mood, that's fine if both want game. But if not, that's very easy to notice and say bye.

The time when I was frustrated with my ex boyfriend, I did hang out with a few guys. But be honest, I feel that's silly to do when I think back. Lucky didn't happen anything I don't want to happen. But still I felt I was blind when I hang out with them.

Just not hurry but keep eyes open. When you meet your right one, the routline would go on the way that suit you. Not stick on the rules.