"He's Just Not That Into You"

I see the sense printed on every page, I really do. And looking at my own situation from the outside I know exactly what I'd tell myself. X who I went on two dates with and got on fabulously with isn't calling me not because he's too 'busy' with work or because he's 'out of town', although he is both - the real reason he's not calling or texting is because he's just not that into me. No matter how busy the guy is, he could spare two minutes to return my text or call.


But I'm not feeling very liberated, just bummed out. I mean, it seemed to be going so well! What could've turned him off so suddenly?


Boys are so weird. Why promise you'll call when you won't? Why does popular wisdom say not to sleep on first date because he won't respect you and the minute you put that rule into practice the guy disappears. Very disappointed and frustrated.

i am reading the book as well, its fine. its very similar to the `rules` i read a few years ago. This is just a bit too like looking for mr ideal, dun think it exist much now, even exist, it might not be forever. i know the rules but somehow we are emotional animal, it is difficult to put it practices, but at least i did try.:)

Hmmm,


First it is not because you felt well that he felt so great about you. We humans tend to

confuse our dreams with reality. We read signs where there are none.


Second, he said he would call, just to be polite. Nothing special.Women do the same, right ? A guy likes you ? I bet you would know, unless he is dead he will send you signals. Hey we are the active ones in this "game" right ?


I am a man, but I would say yes : do not sleep on a first date, unless things are really sweet and romantic and you feel confortable. But ladies ... no, not all men just dream of sex after 5 minutes. What is fascinating me is how some girls are just blind unable to make the difference between a decent man and a player. Nice guys are not a legend, there are tones of them. Of course they make less noise than the drunken loosers in Bar Georges or the flashy playboys with their Gold Credit Card.

So if you think all guys are just after your legs, it probably means you have not met any decent guy, which implies you dont know how to recognize a nice guy when you actually meet one and I am sorry for you.


Speaking of the rules. You should wait for blablabla, you can't do this on a first date ... speak of being spontanous, your romantic self. Precisely because men's reputation (especially gweilo) is ruined by the sticky looser that called you ten times in a day when you sent obvious negative signals, by this drunken old man who after ten minutes asked you to go to his place etc ... there are those alarms in nice girls head, that will start to ring as soon as you are to enthousiast. It just remind them of a bad experience.

So we men have to guess what "agenda" you have in mind not to scare you, which pitfalls to avoid not to fall into one of the looser category.

So : play safe, cool and aloof ? Well, ok fine. But it is not spontanous, and if you cannot tell someone : I like you, what a pity !

well, actually i think sex is not that bad if both parties enjoyed. Why women always feel they are loosing something to men while having sex? I think it could be a great thing....

becareful and watch out for daring guys in hong kong...............enjoy life

Don't believe those old sayings, I have friends who slept with guys on the first date and they become bf-gf and in two cases they are married.


But of course I am not trying to encourage you to do that. Don't take me wrong.


If he is not that into you, it is quite unlikely for you to find out why he turns away. And women do the same to guys too.


It's a pity, but play cool and move on, sometimes some guys will come back to run after you again. but that's another story....

On previous occassions I've slept with guys on first dates it's led to long term relationships. The first time I make a point of not sleeping with someone until we know each other better I'm rejected out of hand...

as far as the hormons been produced in both the parties body, and feel like having sex, just go ahead and do it...

but.....

thewre comes the difference between human and animal.

for us we have to make sure its safe and descrete...

and most of the girls/ladies won`t be ready if they feel unsecure..

but, if they think they are secure, and descretion guaranteed they`ll go for it, don`t need any love or something to support it.....

i've slept with guys first time round.