Posted by
Felipe
19 yrs ago
You said yourself he's a piece of manure.
He hurt you for however long you went out so don't allow him to continue doing so.
As for ending up with someone like him, if that happens then drop him, you should be stronger now. Also, don't throw yourself at people, if you make a man wait you'll find out more about his true intentions.
Good luck!
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lulu
19 yrs ago
There are so many tossers around, i cannot beleive why guys always rip women for money?
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Sylph, i feel for you. I broke up with my bf at this chinese new year. It's a tough for me at first. After 7-8 months, i thought it was over and i could face it without any regret or hate. But i was wrong. An occasional chat online with him brought up all. I cant get him out of my mind. I still expect him come back which i know it is nearly impossible. I am sure i will say YES if he would ever do that. I know i m being stupid. Just my heart cant follow my mind!
Also, during that time, i tried to get involved in a new relaionship,however i tried it didnt work, butr it made me think of him more.
There is no better way to get rid of the shadow of ex. Only time works! Just give youself more time, 5 months is too short!
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Sylph, worse thing about this whole thing is that it comes and goes. Try to keep busy and make more friends and now you've done your talking about the git when your out with mates dont let yourself fall into that depression, the only way i can avoid feeling angry, bitter and miserable right now is not to talk about him. I see it that ive had my cry, my moans and my anger and bitterness and my friends know all about it....now when it comes i let it go over my head. This is not bottling it up cos its already come out and i wont allow it to keep ruining my life. Chin up and remember you dont deserve to hurt anymore now...he deserves no more of your thoughts. Im sure things will get better and better...im waiting for that day when his face doesnt come into my head too! It doesnt matter how nasty they were if you loved them then they hurt you whatever....take care
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getting over someone could be quite a challenge. it took me over a year and a half before i realized that oh he's not coming back then after 5 years later did i realized he's a piece of s--t!!!!
don't try to hard just let it be! you'll be fine!
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Sylph,
You can get over it once you stop judging your own feelings about how you're feeling and just FEEL the FEELINGS.
There are no 'right' or 'wrong' feelings. They are just your feelings. You didn't choose them, they chose you.
I see that you stated "It shouldn't be happening" etc. etc. It seems to me like you're judging your feelings and are trying to push them away, when they are demanding your attention so you can release them and be free!
As long as you can't accept WHERE YOU ARE (my sense is angry/betrayed/used), and you keep pushing those feelings away, you cannot get past them, girl! So get on with it - feel those feelings on anger or whatever (scibbling wildly on paper and throwing ice cubes with force into the bathroom are two good ways to release anger for me!) and then...just be willing to let them pass.
You can do this!
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I do understand those feelings, I just decided to end up my 5 years relationship in this Chinese New Year, I don't want to be kept waited year after year without any commitment. I want to talk to him face to face, but he always tries to give me excuse to make me feel he is insulting my intelligence and challenging my patience.
I cannot see where our relationship is going and how his thoughts is since he always escapes this topic.
I think this time, I will have to use my mind NOT MY HEART to handle this case!
I am writing here just to make my decision firmly!
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Try meditation. I read some books from the Dahli Lama. Really helps.
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Meditation is good but it does tend to leave you alone with your thoughts. As a TM teacher, I know that meditation can actually make you feel worse before you start to feel better.
You could start with your breathing. Just sit in a comfortable place and breathe softly and deeply for five minutes. Focus on a small object in the distance. After this breath meditation, you can do a body awareness meditation - just focus your attention on each part of your body for a minute, starting with your toes and working up to your head. If you are feeling angry and broken-hearted, you will feel pain in your chest and liver sections - just leave your attention there until the pain goes away.
Sylph, I know how you are feeling because I am going through the same thing. Today was the first day that I didn't wake up crying in my sleep for the last three weeks. The only thing to remember is that HE didn't take your love away, you still have it in abandance to give to everyone you come in contact with.
The really bad feeling is not only that of disappointment and rejection but that of feeling unloving. It sounds strange but I know from my training that everyone needs to love and we feel bad when we have unloving thoughts.
So, focus on being a loving human being and your heartache will ease - not go away - nothing can make it go away entirely but as someone else said, this experience is a part of life and living.
Love be with you,
Susan
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susan45988, that is some of the best, most comforting advice i have read in these threads in a long time. glad to know you are making progress yourself.
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oqro
19 yrs ago
Chocolo,
Its all up to you... u have to make the decision, u r going to move on with your life or gong to waste it... well maybe meditation can help some ppl, but with me it didnt work nothing, not gym, not going out.... I am so over him but i dont know there was something else that was making me feel so bad...i used to wake up and cry, before going to bed cry... well it ws really bad... couldnt stop myself thinking about it, not him but about it all... even when i was sleeping still i was thinking about him... nobody can help you to get over him if u r not willing to... let it go... u dont need to try to forget about him, it happened and thats the part of your life.... Believe me ive been through something really really bad.... its a long story... its only one month that im feeling Ok... i still think about him i guess every day.... he was my first bf... and im very close to 30... so hey forget about pain, and start living ur life..Ok i have to go ow....
Good luch and pls try to be happy?
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