A Lovely Friend, But not a Wife.......

Dear All,


I've got to have opinions to untie the tight sport that I got myself into.


To be brief, I met a matured women 7 years ago,

and I have had sexual relationship with her occasionally over the years, although having known that she was married. She changed my perceptions of having a one night stands, made me realise sometimes, we get cought with a wrong person, emotional and she don't want to break free...on the other hand, I am drawn to her expectations, as she is caring, and a lovely friend and yes, occasional sex sometimes, I can't seem to move on too. She wants to leave her husband, who had earlier cheated on her by sleeping with her best friend.


She is 57 years, me 37, and she is now proposing marriage.


I don't feel the same, although she insist that we both can make life together and there is no can be a perfect wife...but I can't see myself being with her as a husband, but willing to be her friend, and there is no two way about it, meaning no sex, just being friends.


Is this possible?. Are they (matured women) any different from younger girls?


Your thoughts, please.

SF.

Oooppps, got a little ambitous there, she is 47 years of age, not 57...sorry, guys, but appreciate your comments,please

SF im sorry but im a little unsure of what you are asking here, that could just be me being a bit dull. Its seems that you love this woman but not enough to marry her, the age thing should not make a bit of difference as ten years is nothing. From what you have written and what i think you are trying to ask I would tell you to go with your head and your heart and that means you tell her she is your friend and nothing more. You need to stop having sex with her and then maybe both of you can find paartners that you are both happy with. Please let me know if there was more to this.

Thanks dorris, and no, there nothing more to what I've asked. Yeah, i guess I cannot lure into having sex, but not wanting to marry her, but she is a great friend, and I don't want loose tha, so, I guess, I have to follow my heart, which is being her friend.


Having said that, do you think, she will be able to conceive again?, she is a mother now, I was rather confused, and had these thoughts when I was indecisive. would there be complication, if she were to conceive again, from your experience, please?


Yes, Justin, am single, living life the fullest, would have missed out opportunities, and don't want to miss it again, that's why I am here, seeking opinions, before having to make another mistake.

two pence is that all you do...just go from one thread to the next saying 'lol'...surely this is a waste of time on your part and surely if you can only say 'lol' then you shouldnt bother either reading any of this stuff cos you aint got a brain...LOL

Wat is IoI?, me old fashioned and not so savvy with jargons..doris, please enlighthen me

haha razor blade...and lol is laugh out loud SF. bless you...you are sooo behind the times....it could mean lots of love too hahaha...maybe two pence is just feeling a bit emotional right now!

SF you sound too old for your age and as ive said before and i'll say it again...sack her...move on....be friends...lalala....and get out and meet some woman your own age (cos it seems that the age thing is your big problem here!) LOL LOL Lol lol lol

So this 47yo married woman that you've been sleeping with for the past 7 years has developed an emotional attachment to you, (I assume) wants to dump her husband, and then marry you.


You have just figured out that you don't want to have sex with her any more, and you want to know if a deep, meaningful, respectful friendship is possible.







Yes, I don't see any problems there. You go right ahead and tell her. Older women are not like younger women - they don't get bitter and vengeful, or blaze with rage at being scorned. Nor are they crushed by rejection. Of course it's going to be a model friendship.


Anyone?

Well, can't argue can I?, I brought it to own self and I admit, may I am too old, but never too late...Grenade, thanks for at least understanding the situation and you're right, I am not getting any younger, either, and the thought having a meaningful relationship is definate at hand. However, my heart is not in it, although these

thoughts can be convincing, so I'll follow my heart and meet more friend, and let fate take its course, and yes, I will have to stop sex!.

shoun francis

Home Control PanelAd Rates / Contact Us Ask an Xpat Practical Best Restaurants Books Careers/Visas Talk Doing Business Employment Packages Feedback Gift Giving & Ideas Legal Medical Moms & Dads Nutrition & Fitness Pregnancy & Fertility Recipes/Food/Wine Relationships Relocation Tips Speaker's Corner Tech Talk Travel/Hotels Women Only Your Money/Stock Market Tools Currency Converter Calculator Dictionary Encyclopedia IDD Codes Net Radio Tech Terms Thesaurus Web Search World Atlas World Time Resources Kuala Lumpur A-Z Trading Post Auto Trader Doing Business Domestic Help Careers Personals Overseas Property Travel Find a Home Free Moving Quote Property Agents Hot Properties for Lease Service Apartments Find a Home Service Share Flats Commercial Property Nightlife / Dining Best Bars Whats On Personals Nightlife Pics Meal Delivery 2 for 1 Dinner AsiaXPAT Intruders








A Lovely Friend, But not a Wife.......


Back to Main | Reply | Rules | Go to Bottom

A Lovely Friend, But not a Wife.......

Posted by shoun francis (18 hrs ago)

[ Quote | Edit ]


Dear All,


I've got to have opinions to untie the tight sport that I got myself into.


To be brief, I met a matured women 7 years ago,

and I have had sexual relationship with her occasionally over the years, although having known that she was married. She changed my perceptions of having a one night stands, made me realise sometimes, we get cought with a wrong person, emotional and she don't want to break free...on the other hand, I am drawn to her expectations, as she is caring, and a lovely friend and yes, occasional sex sometimes, I can't seem to move on too. She wants to leave her husband, who had earlier cheated on her by sleeping with her best friend.


She is 57 years, me 37, and she is now proposing marriage.


I don't feel the same, although she insist that we both can make life together and there is no can be a perfect wife...but I can't see myself being with her as a husband, but willing to be her friend, and there is no two way about it, meaning no sex, just being friends.


Is this possible?. Are they (matured women) any different from younger girls?


Your thoughts, please.

SF.

Posted by shoun francis (18 hrs ago)

[ Quote | Edit ]

Oooppps, got a little ambitous there, she is 47 years of age, not 57...sorry, guys, but appreciate your comments,please

Posted by Dorris (18 hrs ago)

[ Quote ]



SF im sorry but im a little unsure of what you are asking here, that could just be me being a bit dull. Its seems that you love this woman but not enough to marry her, the age thing should not make a bit of difference as ten years is nothing. From what you have written and what i think you are trying to ask I would tell you to go with your head and your heart and that means you tell her she is your friend and nothing more. You need to stop having sex with her and then maybe both of you can find paartners that you are both happy with. Please let me know if there was more to this.

Posted by Justin Credible (18 hrs ago)

[ Quote ]



you're 37 and single?


she's 47 and married?


am i missing anything?

Posted by shoun francis (17 hrs ago)

[ Quote | Edit ]

Thanks dorris, and no, there nothing more to what I've asked. Yeah, i guess I cannot lure into having sex, but not wanting to marry her, but she is a great friend, and I don't want loose tha, so, I guess, I have to follow my heart, which is being her friend.


Having said that, do you think, she will be able to conceive again?, she is a mother now, I was rather confused, and had these thoughts when I was indecisive. would there be complication, if she were to conceive again, from your experience, please?


Yes, Justin, am single, living life the fullest, would have missed out opportunities, and don't want to miss it again, that's why I am here, seeking opinions, before having to make another mistake.

Posted by twopence (17 hrs ago)

[ Quote ]



lol

Posted by Dorris (17 hrs ago)

[ Quote ]



two pence is that all you do...just go from one thread to the next saying 'lol'...surely this is a waste of time on your part and surely if you can only say 'lol' then you shouldnt bother either reading any of this stuff cos you aint got a brain...LOL

Posted by shoun francis (17 hrs ago)

[ Quote | Edit ]

Wat is IoI?, me old fashioned and not so savvy with jargons..doris, please enlighthen me

Wowoweesinongdimawiwili ...what u mean by u won't trust me if you r me???....confusing...

Grenade, great message. Shoun Francis ... it looks as though you have answered your own question. You don't have any obligation to her, unles you were stringing her along; even then, it's your right in this situation to be entirely selfish (I mean about the decision itself, not about your overall conduct), because it's your life. But at the same time you need to act with absolute integrity in terms of being honest and direct in your dealings with her). Good luck.

Shoun Francis - I really can't work you out. Most of your threads make no sense at all - usually a load of twaddle peppered with religious epithets. Sometimes your posts seem quite succint.


I've a feeling you're a bit of a wind-up merchant.

Sorry.............am i missing something i just don't get him either!

I've read some of his posts on a few different threads. I think he deliberately tries to garble his posts.

yeah i agree

Ok. you got me...., but I found this site, and thought I might share a little, but never thought I had to be intelligent..and I may have sounded confusing, that's probably because I was trying to fit in... old school of thought....


So IoI, little old lady....never wud have tot of dat, we call it dem...little sisters??? (as in your little brothers/sisters???)..go figure...


Thank bear, i was sceptical about the age, not only more, and grenade, I've always been honest with her about my intention, the fact that we are still friends, is cos, we like each others company not just physically...so being friend is probably is best thing.


Nope, I might have sound long and windy...but no intentions of tricking or gabling any of these issues...keep them coming...and matured enough handle sarcasm..


just warming up, being back to good old chatty days...




But thanks,

Poor SF please dont get sad

Im sure no-one wanted to make you feel bad

Its just that sometimes these thoughts you do share

dont make too much sense and dont go anywhere

Gud 1.


Yes..poor me is sad..but der r a few dam ars, who won't make me hppy but sad...

Shoun, you don't need to type nonsense to ft in. Just be yourself.


Where are you from by the way?

ah...finally someone is inteligent enough to ask me questions...heheheh


Singapore, and u sir/Ms?


work has become monotenous..most of us are crippled with boring workloads....here..., and we been lucky enough to be browsing....inbetween 9 to 5

I'm a Ms and I'm from the UK

Should i be suspicious, you sounded menly or that you must be a strong women.


Anyway, i was born in sydney, followed my parents, and been here eversince...,

I sound manly? Perhaps I need to work on my smalltalk, lol.

won't be necessary!, anyway thanks for your opinions, I have came to terms with her.


have fun, will catch up soon...got to run...last minute dateline....eeeeeeeerrrr

SF you need to get out mate...serious you'd do a lot better if you saw women and talked to them rather than use a dateline. You didnt know what lol was come on....SF please make an effort to get out and have some fun!!! datelines are all well and good but im getting a vibe that you'd be better out having fun, sorry if im wrong

SF, just out of curiosity, how did you two meet? and how did it turn into sexual relationship?? why did you do that with a married woman at the first place?

Dorris, thanks for your concern, really.

We have dinners most of the time, and the fact that her husband have oblivious about her having her own friends and time is something they both have to terms with, not forgeting that he has his own life, but somehow never spoke of separation, whilst she is coming to terms with herself after meeting me and now wants to be with me. She have made plans to move out and told me that her decision was not because of me, and I have told her that we can be friends. I have been able to deal with her, but do have her insecurities whenever I am out with my own friends, however, we have been able to talk a lot of sense. She told me that she someone in her office is interested in her and I am glad to she is meeting other people, as well. I have decided to gather myself for a while here, till I find someone new, and no, we have stopped the physical relationships. You are right, its easier to talk to women, only we tried harder, instead of letting our ego play the role.


Space-dust: It happen when 7 years ago, introduced by my colleague...and I was very much out fooling around then, and never knew that she will be calling me the next day, wanting more out of one night stand, I guess I took the comfort but realised that it was all wrong to begin with and finally come to terms with myself, only after she proposed to marry me...got me really thinking hard and I am glad that at least I am not letting someone to hold on to me without a reason and I am happy that the only reason we both have is to remain as friends, as we are comfortable with each other.

do you love her then? after all, you've been with her for 7 years which is a lot longer than most relationship or marriages. I feel she will have left her husband long ago if you have proposed to her. Do you still enjoy having sex with her? If you still do, I will think you should consider moving to the next step with her, not necessarily a marriage, because you two practically have everything that a strong relationship requires.

space-dust: What do you mean by taking to the next level?, I thought I've already established that, being friends, instead of lying to ourselves as sex buddies...


Although, we might have known each other for 7 years, but its never been on regular basis. We see each other twice in 3 months or so, and the thought never crossed my mind that I'd have to consider a proposal for marriage, when all this while, I'd assume it was a win win situation for both of us, and Yes, I was compiled to her stories of her husband cheating on her. Yes, I enjoy the sex but I'd comprimise the fact that sometimes I am doing it to please her, which is bad, and she agrees with me. That's why we have decided to be friends, instead, and there's no two way about our relationship now.


Cola Man: Never knew there was such rule, but its thought provoking, though. Yeah!, she is very matured and she has been clever in deliberately influencing her love so much, that I sometimes, tend to forgot until i put my feet back to the ground...


And Yes, I never saw myself coming inbetween someone marriage, and never understood why people do such things, but now I understand why!, and I don't want to do it out of force or impulsive decision, but rather rationally. Am glad that I've been able to communicate with people and get different views, and I have conform she will have to make her own decision whether or not to stay in the marriage and that I will always remain as her friend.