Temper, temper....

Years ago I was engaged to a 'great' guy. Then I got a job that meant I was making a bit more money than him and then he started staying out late, snapping at me for no reason, refused to talk to me about it. This went on for about tow months until one night we had a huge argument and he pushed me down the stairs. The polce came and I kicked him out and haven't spoken to him since - wanker...

Wow, JC, I wonder if your were dating my EX! I still feel haunted 17 years later.....

I've been really lucky - but earlier this year I was shouted at, cursed at and finger pointed right in my face as the words were spat at me... it shook me to the core.... and this was my best mates fiancee!!

I still haven't been able to see him again and now my best friend and I have drifted apart which is the thing that really kills, but she has made her choice and for some reason and in fact the first time in my life I can't forgive him. I think anyone with even the slightest intelligence should have the control to stop themselves losing it and being really offensive to others... it upsets me to think there are people who suffer that daily.


I have been treated like pure dog poo - and during those times must have thought that that was all I deserved, but with hindsight I realise I should have simply walked away and had a bit more self conviction.


Now I'm just a cynic I'm afraid!!!

lammasita tis sad that you and her have drifted apart...no man should make us girls drift and if


My first Ex had a brilliant temper and after the first few encounters with it i knew not to mess. The one afternoon i threw him out of my flat because we were fussing over something or other. He returned a few hours later with flowers to say sorry, i wasnt ready to make up and shouted through the window that he should get lost...lol

So....he kicked the bottom of the window (not hard i should add...one of those tantrum kicks) and the entire thing smashed up...how we laughed.


Another time, he banged on the door and it fell down and he also knocked a TV over. He did have a real bad temper admittedly, but it was never focused on damaging me, actually he didnt actually mean to damage anything and even though things kept smashing all around him he was never that forceful though....it always broke the ice though! hehe


We went to a party the one time and he forget to buy coke to go with his JD, he was sat on the floor at the time and said 'damn' as he slammed his hand down on their glass topped, expensive italian table.....needless to say it smashed and everything went tumbling to the ground. That thing was so thick and we never figured out how the f* it happened.

I've known a number of men who use anger as their "escape" -- even had more than one say to me "You just don't know what I'll do when I get mad."


These guys [and many more, I suspect] feel emasculated by today's world in which it is stated that women can do anything/be anything and don't "need" men. Although they do not want to be Angry Men, they seem to harbour a secret attraction to the "now you've pushed me too far" theory.


Look at the plot for, oh, 1/3 of all action movies-- guy is mild and devoted and intelligent. Through no fault of her own, his gf/wife or S.O. is killed by THE BAD GUYS.

What happens next? He goes on a rampage and destroys them, Their S.O.'s, etc.


In a "PC" world, there are times when we ALL want to drop the games, the rules, the walking-across-eggshells and just "Be."

However, many guys do not seem to know how to do this Rationally, so they use the fuse of anger.


What do you all think?

I think anger can stem from frustration.

Many sources fo frustration in modern life.


One big trigger is feeling trapped int he wrong relationship. This works for both sexes.


I have known as many women with anger issues as I have men. Perhaps men are more likely to lash out physically, although theree are 'battered husbands' (have worked with three).

But there is also a lot of psychological abuse, women can be good at this. An example is when people want to punish everybody who upsets them.