Posted by
firefox11
19 yrs ago
My bf of 2 years is still in touch with his old flames. He calls them 'special' friends. I trust him but is it really possible for guys to be friends with their ex gfs? I am certainly jealous but I don't want to seem like a crazy woman. Your thoughts?
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It's very difficult to stop thinking of what n how they were in the past, and you're going to make sick comparisons, maybe for nothing.
So, I would say to save your energy and to avoid a quarrel that you just ignore as much as you can by doing something else to distract you e.g. reading magazines, or leaving for a work-out or something.
And it's true that ex's were better off by being friends than they were as a couple....
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don't worry too much about it. you and your bf have been together for 2 years. yes, it is possible for guys to be friends with their exes. i am still close with my ex-husband (true that we are better friends now than when we were together!), and am friends with most of my exes.
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Agree I am friends with my ex, however I am very aware that this can make your new partner very uncomfortable. Striking the right balance can be hard but it is not impossible.
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true. i think it's a matter of manners - i.e. same principle as flirting, never do anything to embarrass or humiliate a loved one.
if your bf knows his interaction with his exes makes you unhappy, then he should have the good manners to tone it down (note: not hide it, but to sincerely tone it down, and ensure you are always included in his interactions with exes) and ideally the exes would be sensitive to this and reciprocate.
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Exactly. It is nice to think that you can be friends with an ex but it should never be done to the detriment of your current relationship.
Best thing is to talk it through with your b/f. Let him know that you feel uncomfortable. If he can talk openly about it with you, it may help.
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tia
19 yrs ago
When I met my current b/f, he was living in a sharehouse with his ex. They dated briefly 5 years ago and were and still are good mates. I don't like her, not bc she is his friend, but because she is thick and not too smart.
It is possible to be friends, but do not let it mess up your current relationship. If they are having issues with it, sit the current g/f or b/f down and have a chat about it.
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shaq
19 yrs ago
Talk about it with yourbf, sweetheart. Perhaps, he doesn't know you hate the friendship with the ex. He may stop being a 'close' friend to her. Better still, you could be a friend to the ex too. That way, you can see things clearly. I must agree, however, that old flames are not easy to extinguish. It takes a good character and a sensitive partner not to rekindle it. Good luck.
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Thank you all for the great comments! I am going to start learning to have a bigger heart. Thanks again.
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bibik
19 yrs ago
One of my ex-es is visting me after many years and my boyfriend has been very understanding about the whole thing. I definitely appreciative of that! Am sure yours will appreciate too. Just try establish boundaries that both will keep!
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