Controling tendency in women

I don't want to be generalizing here, but some women tend to have this sense of control on their men... "do this", "do that".. "I want this now"...and there is a border line for men to be accepting this attitude.. it's either out of being nice.... or out of having no character.


I personally think that being nice is a necessity... but too much demand on the control is a turn off.


The question is: do you women out there like your men to have the upper hand.. and what would you like to hear if you sometimes wish to have the upper hand... What kind of response that won't turn you off from men... "No"? ... "No dear"?... "Ok"? ... "No i would rather do ... "...

A section of women call this controlling attitude of theirs 'gender equality'. Yet they cry of neglect and abuse when the guy does likewise. No wonder so may relationships are falling apart. Someone has to be in charge (of course, responsibly) and that should be the man ... several religions and, indeed world order, see the man as the head of the 'house/relationship'. So, our women better compromise and adhere to it. Otherwise, the walkouts will never stop.

Can't believe my eyes when I read the above posting. Am I still in 21st century? *checks the calendar*

As in 'go take a long walk on a short pier'? Second that completely. If not,

Several religions and cultures encourage supression of other races based on things like religion and skin colour. So should people just lay down and stop complaining?

The Expat> so can't interest you in a dominatrix-submissive relationship then? ;-)

Shaq, the women are walking out on the men!

Lamdada > Whoever is walking on who doesn't matter to me. Understanding on the basis of logical and/or rational compromise is the order. There should always be a head or a leader in every endeavor or relationship and, I believe, (most) men does it better. I guess that's why normally the female moves to the guys abode ... I may be wrong. Things are changing so fast these days.

Ueberandout > Hahahaa!! Why? What does being single has to do with anything? :). Anyway, yes, I'm single.

Hahaha I would pass on the dominatrix submissive thingie... Got a gf which i am happy with at the moment :)


My point is not to control as in suppression... A man has to feel he is the man... as also the woman has to feel she is the woman... and wants to be treated nicely and romantically from the man who is by nature tough. (some exceptions for sure)

Expat > Great!

That's all that the guys want; a chance to be men and to be able to perform the natural duty of caring for the ladies.... period!!

Just to quote John Gray from his book "Men are from Mars, women are from Venus"... Take a look at this excellent examples.. and you will know what I mean.


(Quote)


"THE KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR


Deep in side every man there is a hero or a knight in shining armor. More than anything, he wants to succeed in serving and protecting the woman he loves. When he feels trusted, he is able to tap into this noble part of himself. He becomes more caring. When he doesn't feel trusted he loses some of his aliveness and energy, and after a while he can stop caring.


Imagine a knight in shining armor traveling through the countryside. Suddenly he hears a woman crying out in distress. In an instant he comes alive. Urging his horse to a gallop, he races to her castle, where she is trapped by a dragon. The noble knight pulls out his sword and slays the dragon. As a result, he is lovingly received by the princess.


As the gates open he is welcomed and celebrated by the family of the princess and the townspeople. He is invited to live in the town and is acknowledged as a hero. He and the princess fall in love.


A month later the noble knight goes off on another trip. On his way back, he hears his beloved princess crying out for help. Another dragon has attacked the castle. When the knight arrives he pulls out his sword to slay the dragon. Before he swings, the princess cries out from the tower, "Don't use your sword, use this noose.

It will work better." She throws him the noose and motions to him instructions about how to use it. He hesitantly follows her instructions. He wraps it around the dragon's neck and then pulls hard. The dragon dies and everyone rejoices.

At the celebration dinner the knight feels he didn't really do anything. Somehow, because he used her noose and didn't use his sword, he doesn't quite feel worthy of the town's trust and admiration After the event he is slightly depressed and forgets to shine his armor.


A month later he goes on yet another trip. As he leaves with his sword, the princess reminds him to be careful and tells him to take the noose. On his way home, he sees yet another dragon attacking the castle. This time he rushes forward with his sword but hesitates, thinking maybe he should use the noose. In that moment of hesitation, the dragon breathes fire and burns his right arm. In confusion he looks up and sees his princess waving from the castle window. "Use the poison," she yells. "The noose doesn't work."


She throws him the poison, which he pours into the dragon's mouth, and the dragon dies. Everyone rejoices and celebrates, but the knight feels ashamed.

A month later, he goes on another trip. As he leaves with his sword, the princess reminds him to be careful, and to bring the noose and the poison. He is annoyed by her suggestions but brings them just in case.


This time on his journey he hears another woman in distress. As he rushes to her call, his depression is lifted and he feels confident and alive. But as he draws his sword to slay the dragon, he again hesitates. He wonders, Should 1 use my sword, the noose, or the poison? What would the princess say? For a moment he is confused. But then he remembers how he had felt before he knew the

princess, back in the days when he only carried a sword. With a burst of renewed confidence he throws off the noose and poison and charges the dragon with his trusted sword. He slays the dragon and the townspeople rejoice.


The knight in shining armor never returned to his princess. He stayed in this new village and lived happily ever after. He eventually married, but only after making sure his new partner knew nothing about nooses and poisons.


Remembering that within every man is a knight in shining armor is a powerful metaphor to help you remember a man's primary needs. Although a man may appreciate caring and assistance sometimes, too much of it will lessen his confidence or turn him off.


(Unquote)

What a heartwarming tale. The prince leaves his princess because she offered him useful suggestions that were actually effective to go live with some brainless twerp. Awwwwww... That prince is not a pathetic loser at all now, is he?


I was totally in agreement with the first post, except that there are also plenty of controlling and demanding men. I would have said that there were controlling people in all walks of life. But now I know that women should just shut up and be meek, mealy mouthed, puppets who do nothing but open their legs and say, "oooooh, darling, you're sooo clever!"

Snuffles, lol!


I'm sorry but Mr Gray talks a load of cobblers. If we are to take his theory at face value, he's saying that men want to be with passive, ineffectual women who contribute nothing to a relationship. This is actually very demeaning to men as it is to women.


I agree with the theory that a man wants to feel valued in a relationship, so do women. This does not mean that one should have the upper hand.

Shall we say the way she offers the advice?

Nobody likes being told what to do and that goes for both sexes.


Personally I think all dating books should be burned and their authors poked with sticks.

And to add to the crappiness of the princess extract: it's not as if the princess was being patronising or condescending when she told him what to do. She didn't lean out the window and go, "Jeeeez, don't you know the noose would be better? What's wrong with you?" She was brusque perhaps, but it was a life or death situation and she had to act quickly, she had no time to say, "Honey, I respect your use of the sword as a valid and useful method of dragon slaying, but may I suggest the noose as a quicker alternative. Oh, and you're totally my hero. Heart!" She behaved in a totally laudable way - the prince is completely irrational to blame her for his insecurity.

Okay, I'll add a quote of my own:


"And what happens after the knight rescues the woman in distress?"


"She rescues him right back."


Any takers on where I got THAT???

To the expat: In "your" ideal world a woman should be a whore in the bedroom,a lady in the kitchen and a mute when around all of your mates. Get a grip mate.

Kristin> Your quote comes from Pretty Woman.

well I've met a few men who are worse than controlling. But I don't go generalising that all guys are like that. Because they aren't.

a lady in the street, a freak in a bed, a mute in the pub and an idiot when she waves from the window when she sees you fighting with dragons.

talking of books my ex told me (after we finished) that my problem was i never understood what he was saying and that he had just bought a book that explained how women and men have a different language. I told him to 'F* off and go get me a another book that explains what the F* a stupid, ugly, cheating, pig american man was trying to say' lol...twas such a lovely conversation...hehe...


such a generalisation to say women and men mean this and that when they say this and that, were not that friggin different really, its just more often us girlies have more to say thats all

Ianthe.

Yep.


How ironic that a prostitute lifted from her profession by a guy who didn't want commitment would sum up what women want. The hero who gives us the opportunity to be heroines ourselves.


KB