Posted by
wildorchid
19 yrs ago
When a man says he cares about his girlfriend, what does that mean? And what makes women think that their boyfriends/husbands care about them?
I am afraid that sometimes men and women interprete these CARE and ATTENTION in different ways.
What do you, ladies and gentlemen, think about this?
Please support our advertisers:
tia
19 yrs ago
Caring (IMHO) is the feeling that they love/like you very much and will do their best for the relationship.
Attention is the actual ways in which he/she shows this caring.
The biggest problem may be that woman want this attention more than men. Deep down, I think we all KNOW that our partner CARES about it, but in his/her ATTENTION to us, we can see it more.
Please support our advertisers:
shaq
19 yrs ago
True, attention goes hand-in-hand with care. I believe, however, that one pays attention to another when there is 'something' to pay attention to. This 'something', to me, is the ability to know the likes and dislikes of the other and respect them.
We all wants to attend and care for someone, but some people are just too difficult to care for; i.e., they're insensitive to everything.
Make sense??? ........ :)
Please support our advertisers:
It's easy to say "I care about you", right? But what you do to prove/demonstrate that you care about me?
In many cases we as women complain that men do not care enough about us while men say/think that they do care.
Does it happen to you all?
Please support our advertisers:
tia
19 yrs ago
Amen to that JCPD! It's true. The whole golden rule thing...do unto others, yadda yadda...
It is easy to SAY you care about someone but a hella lot more difficult to genuinely SHOW it. A mate of mine once said that women are more demonstrative with their affection than men, BUT men DO think about their women often and do care deeply about, just have more reserved ways to show it.
Please support our advertisers:
It was a bit embarassing for us last night when we had dinner together with a friend couple we know not long time ago.
We were discussing something then suddenly the wife started complaining that her husband did not care and pay enough attention to her lately. He said he did care and pay attention to her, and then their duscussion lasted another few moment and it ended up with her bursting into tears.
My boyfriend and I started afterward to "analyse" our relationship and try to see what is considered care and attention by him as a man and me as a woman. It ended up with quite an interesting result which shows quite different understanding and intepretation of a fact by 2 sexes.
Please support our advertisers:
Funny, I was about to start a similar thread.
Last night- got into a fight with the "possible b/f."
The cause--
he's a guy [therefore quieter than females]
he's ABT, so "careful" with his English [and his Chinese, actually]
he's ALSO a still-waters-run-deep person
Put those 3 together and it's easy to see that I do most of the fluff while he inserts the "meat" into our conversations.
So, does he care, yes. Do I know it, yes. Am I insecure enough to want to be reminded? You betcha.
Am I driving him away by pestering-- not yet, but I can see how I could. He is teaching me to be "calm" and patient while I am showing him, um, the joy of spirited discussion?
Please support our advertisers:
tia
19 yrs ago
Kristin;
I am also dating a fairly quiet, reserved guy and there are times when I want to drag a conversation out of him. I agree with you that as much as I know he loves me and cares for me, I WANT to be reminded once in awhile.
He is opening up more and I am learning how not to push as much to get him to talk. He will..in his own sweet time. I have asked him if I am driving him insane yet and he assures me that he will tell me when I do...and I don't doubt that he will.
Please support our advertisers:
No no no! We just tried with my boyfriend to see if we understand things in the same way or not. It was the friend who ended up in tears not me:))
I am very happy so far with my boyfriend but sometimes I am also afraid that I think too much, think for him which might not be as good as I expect. I am learning from him how to take things simply and easy.
Sometimes I wonder if it's men and women or intercultural difference that I think much and he does not. But again, I am thinking much already:))
Oh, please don't try to pull out words from your bf, tia and kristin. I am the quite one in our relationship, not all the time though. But once I don't want to talk (while contemplating something) not because I am angry at my bf, but just don't want to talk, the more he tries to pull words out of my mouth, the more quite I become. Just happens like that.
Please support our advertisers:
Attention can have nothing to do with caring, just wanting something.
I know some girls who get lots of attention, but few of the guys care about them.
Some girls get lots of attntion from their partner, but exert duress to get it.
Some people get very little attention, but it doesn't meran their partner doesn't care.
Please support our advertisers:
I care about you ...i dont want you walking home alone alone, i listen to what you say because i want to understand because I care, I care that you seem sad, I care that you are lonely....
LOL
I find it harder to understand the love/care link. So many partners talk of love like its going out of fashion but show no care whatsoever. How can you love when you dont give a sh*t? mmmm
Please support our advertisers:
oops sorry forgot to say...
If your partner aint giving you attention then surely it must having something to do with caring. Its so easy to ignore someone you dont care about busy or not. But if your real busy with something and your partner really needs you to listen, and you care about him, then you give him attention cos you give a sh*t. Im not saying you can do this all the time but certainly if your feeling that your not getting much attention, a lot of your time together, then he probably dont care!
Please support our advertisers:
tia
19 yrs ago
wildorchid: I am not FORCING him to talk and when he is not in the talking frame of mind, I leave him be. On the other hand, it would be NICE if he was slightly more open.
Please support our advertisers:
Bravo Tia. Same here. Yes, he has shown me that I may be a chatterbox... but I find So much of the world interesting and HE SAID [can you believe it?!?!] that he LIKES to hear me rant, rave, and ramble.
However, [like JCx2], I remember Everything that he says--and therefore sometimes put too much emphasis upon what he has vocalized.
As an addendum-he & I are in that delicate "pre" phase, so NO, I can't make generalizations about how he cares for me. He DOES, but "how/how much/for what" are the questions. Thank goodness I am learning --from him-- to be patient and wait. Even if it goes nowhere, my fantasy life and my patience have been vastly improved.
KB
Please support our advertisers:
I think both men and women show their care by act. Nobody believes in words alone.
In The Bear's very interesting evolution history, the "communication of some of these things to others" is also an act, right?
Please support our advertisers:
You must be logged in to be able to reply.
Login now
Copy Link
Facebook
Gmail
Mail