Do people really change???



ORIGINAL POST
Posted by redant 19 yrs ago
I was just wondering....if a person can really change for the better? Is it at all possible that when they find the right one they make a 360?

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COMMENTS
Vulvic 19 yrs ago
AAahhhhhh you've fallen in love with a player and you wonder if he will hang up his boots for you.


The answer is...........................................

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snuffles 19 yrs ago
The Mills and Boon answer: Of course! True love will always find a way! Just stay true and he will eventually see the purity of your luuuuuurve!


The Real Life answer: .................

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NemesisX 19 yrs ago
You cannot change people. Just take them the way they are. However, sometimes people do change but it's not because of another person. One can pretend to be different but it's only temporary. As the old saying goes, a leopard doesn't change its spots.

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rats 19 yrs ago
yes, 'changing for better' is my motto but it is a long process.


If one can change '360' after finding the right one, such drastic change is only an illusion and wouldn't last long.

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miffy 19 yrs ago
I think you'll probably get a lot of negative responses on this forum, but my personal experience is yes, people can change for the better. What you should know though is that it absolutely will not happen overnight, it will take a lot of time, sometimes tears and frustration, and it has to come from him - not a push from you, but it is definitely possible. I think the key is that the person genuinely wants the change themself, and is not just saying that to keep you around. I'm sure there are a lot of cases in HK where the words mean nothing - so it's up to you to judge from his actions and make the call as to how long you wait for the change to be complete. Hope it works out for you.

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tigerbay 19 yrs ago
I believe people can change.

But it takes some big shift in their life, and it happens at the identity level.Ultimatley change comes from within, even if there is an outside catalyst. We change ourselves, others cannot do it, or will it, for us.

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rats 19 yrs ago
rouge, people are changing as time goes by, for better or worse. They also have difference faces depending on situations (do you consider that as change?)


Therefore, a man can be improved to be better if he truly understand and initiate the change/improvement instead of being 'forced' to do so just to please his partner.


Of course if the change involves some 'deeply rooted' habits/values, the process will take long without promising result...


A relationship is very likely doomed to failure if one keeps improving and moving on while the other remains the same. They will no longer be at the same pace....

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Vulvic 19 yrs ago
So there you have it: yes and no depending on whether the tide is right, the moons are in aligment and the odds are in your favour.


Only you can know whether it is worth the effort.

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shaq 19 yrs ago
Yeah, it is possible for one to change for the better, or otherwise. I believe however that every change has an underlying factor. That is where we could help in bringing a change in people.


If we desire a change in someone (a lover, a friend, etc.) we should give or show him/her reason as to why the change is necessary. That said, it is also important to recognize that fact that some people are just stubborn and wouldn't see any reason or heed to any advise to change.


It's worth trying to help bring a change in someone though, but if it doesn't work, leave him/her alone and move on ........... this is only my opinion :D.

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wildorchid 19 yrs ago
A guy used to hang out with his colleagues and friends after work. He's just got together with a girl. The girl is disappointed by his hanging habit and complains about that even though he always brings her with him to join his company with colleagues and friends. The guy's changed it, stays in more with the girl.


Question: it is a change for better or worse?


For her it's for better because that's what she wants, but for his friends/colleagues, it's for worse. Is that right?


Above example is about the subjectivity of our evalution in regards to the change.


I'd rather say that we adapt to our partners while of course, changes are quite possible.

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NemesisX 19 yrs ago
Very alert, shizz! We're right back to where we've started from ... haha

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rats 19 yrs ago
lol

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purplelady 19 yrs ago
Yes ..of course they can only if they want to not because they were told to changed.

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Vulvic 19 yrs ago
Have a friend making similar changes in his life and whilst we are all happy that he has met someone he cares about, I can't help feeling that we are losing a friend.



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rats 19 yrs ago
vulvic- I think the same sometimes, wondering if they are still my friends.


But hey, for sure there some valuable qualities in them that can never be changed :) those very essentials to make them who they are and what they are ;)



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Vulvic 19 yrs ago
True.


I think he is one of those people that can't get the balance right, an 'all or nothing' type of person. He needs to learn that he can spend time with his mates and have a g/f, the two are not mutually exclusive.

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Vulvic 19 yrs ago
JC, I hope I get the chance to meet MMM. He sounds fantastic.

xxx

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rats 19 yrs ago
JC- nice story :)

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giggling_gal 19 yrs ago
JC, I'm happy that MMM did something good on you that made you loved yourself more. Way to go! Have fun tonite btw

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Dorris 19 yrs ago
Yeh im my opinion they do change sometimes for a long period sometimes for a short and sometimes they just think they can / have! Hard question and depends very much on the individual and the changes they need to make in order to change! ahhh now thats so complex aint it but then your question is im sorry!


Ive heard that 'ive changed' line so many times for so many different reasons and like i say it has been true to a certain point or for a limited time. If your asking whether players every stop being players my answer would be NO NO NO...maybe for a short while whilst they are madly in love and going through the honeymoon period, and maybe when they feel they are too old to be out in the field...(but that is variable too...sometimes they get off the field cos they feel too old but ten years later they get a new leach and wanna have a game or two again)...If you want to really trust a guy then dont go with one that has to say 'ive changed' ideally. Of course there are always going to be the 'real changers' but I for one would NEVER risk it again!

From a twisted bitter chick xx only opinion mind!

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giggling_gal 19 yrs ago
It's OK to change and some just do that without even knowing! I was caught by surprise of my own stable thoughts and regular habits!

Here, I hear from most people that it's out of somebody special, but it does not have to be like that.....it could be a brainstorm/a trend, or an influence (good/bad? but what's good and what's bad, huh?), or an incident.

The fact is....people do change...for better or for worse...sigh

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Dorris 19 yrs ago
giggling gal..i was talking in response of thread title

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giggling_gal 19 yrs ago
Dorris, our responses came out on the same time, i guess...sigh


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